Reading Reviews for Me- in the wizarding world!
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by XxMoccaLatte13xX The Death Day party

10th July 2007:
this is soo cute
ver funny sometimes how she refers to the book

Author's Response: Thanks!! I never meant this story to be serious!! Thanks a lot for the review

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Review #2, by Regulus_Black Nothing much unusual

11th May 2007:
fantastic chapter =)

Author's Response: Thanks!! Keep reading, the story gets better from next chapter onwards:)
thanks for the review!!

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Review #3, by lupa_mannera Amentia Appettitia

1st May 2007:
The little jokes about our world and theirs are really cute - what a huge adjustment. You're a vegetarian? If that's true then that's cool! Wow, don't you just wish all of that was real? *sigh* LOL, like the hat's comments about "queer thoughts". That was cute, and Hermione is so sweet, to conjure food like that. I love riddles!
A/N I hope you don't mind if I suggest some tiny style fixes:
~"distracted towards" is not quite there... try "distracted by..."
~"tree-legged" should be three-legged (3), and I do believe it's a stool, not a table, but that's an opinion thing
~ "familiar with such a wood" might sound better without "such" in there. try it out!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review:)
Well, yeah, I'm a vegetarian and I do wish all of that is true:P
Thanks for the coment about the comment:)
I like Hrmoine and thought that she'd readily halp anyone in need, and she's all so smart so this idea seemed to fit:)
Thanks for the suggestions, I'll certainly make the changes:)
thanks again for the review:)

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Review #4, by Regulus_Black Mudbloods and Murmurs......and more

1st May 2007:
omg fantastic chapter, please update soon

Author's Response: OMG You're so fast!! Thanks a lot!!
Your reviews are really so flattering(not that I hate those with criticism)
Well, the next chapter is typed in my other PC and it sort of broke down the other day:( I'll have to type the whole chapter again, lol:(
I'll try and update as fast as I can, though, and you try to update your story as well, lol, please:)

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Review #5, by NevillesSoulmate Birthday Surprises

27th April 2007:
Such a short chapter! You have a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but nothing you can't fix. This story has potential.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'll try my best to improve the letter, spellings and the grammar:)
Thanks for the review:)

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Review #6, by Regulus_Black One fight - many realisations

27th April 2007:
fantastic story please update soon

Author's Response: Aw!! Thank you so much!!!
Updating as fast as I can but as the maid's left I've to do all the work:(
But hopefully next chapter will be out soon!!
Thanks a lot again for the review:)

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Review #7, by Haley_Pitter Birthday Surprises

12th April 2007:
it is an okay start. i like the idea of the books being real. i have a few stories like that too.

a few critiques for you. one, more detail would make this story even better. two, there are a few grammar errors. and three, hagrid would talk more "rugged." other than that this story is good. nice job!

Author's Response: Thanks. I've edited the story and 'tis in waiting. I'll make Hagrid talk more 'rugged' and a better copy of the letter is in the wating. I've corrected some gramatical errors and spelling mistakes:)Thanx for the review.

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Review #8, by Harrys_BabyGirl Birthday Surprises

31st March 2007:
Hm. It's a goood story, but It could be longer. Watch you spacing and grammar, there seems to be a lot of spaces in your story. If you read the section in Philoshophers stone where Harry gets His letter, you can re-build the letter according to it. The more accuracy, the better. Just some helpful tips, 8/10.

Author's Response: first of all THANKS for the review. yes i've got the copy of the original letter which harry got. i've made the changes and it's in the waiting:) i just don't have enough patience for sitting and deleting all the spaces:( i'm qiute impatient, lol. thanks for the rating:)

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Review #9, by krookshanks Birthday Surprises

26th March 2007:
you have to start a new paragraph when someone's speaking. there were a few spelling errors but other than that it's a very good story. i like that Hagrid showed up and that this story doesn't drag on at all. you could perhaps make your chapters longer but it was good :)

Author's Response: first of all THANKS for the review. i'll look for spellings and grammar errors. i know i should have made it longer and in fact my other chapters which i've already written are more longer. thanks for the advise.

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Review #10, by irish_dorcas Birthday Surprises

23rd March 2007:
i liked it.a tad random but i like randomness so its off thanks so much for reviewing my stories!i feel all warm and fluffy inside.hehe!good story.yuo said that you were 5 foot long instead of tall though!.your great at writing for your age and very individulistic(thats not word, is it?).keep up the good writing!

Author's Response: thanks for the review and actually i have edited my story and made the neccessary changes and one of them is that you suggested it's in waiting with another on of my stories thanks again for the review.

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Review #11, by lupa_mannera Birthday Surprises

16th March 2007:
This is off to a very interesting start. I see already that the main character (you) are going to learn a lot about the wizarding world in a very short time! Here are my suggestions, I know it's difficult to get feedback, so I hope you understand I want to help not criticize. Also, keep in mind that style is subjective, so please only take the tips you feel work with YOUR story:

~The opening sentence says this is an ordinary day, but what if you put in a little hint that it's NOT going to be such an ordinary day, just to tempt the reader a little? (eg: "It was Sunday May twenty fourth, my eleventh birthday, and little did I know that it was also the day that my world would change completely.")
~ "I didn’t understand why and how did nature change its rules. But I forgot about the topic after some time and continued watching my program. " with diff. words might look something like: "I simply could not comprehend how and when nature had changed it's rules, but I shrugged my confusion aside and..."
~Be careful with your tense. This story is first person, past tense. Only use present tense for thoughts (which should be in italics) and dialogue. Remember you are recounting this story as it happened. If you want to tell the story as it happens then you'll need to always use the present tense.
~"Was someone playing a joke on me" should be phrased with a "?" I would also suggest an alternative expressive thought (eg: "Was this someone's idea of a cruel joke?" just to bring her opinion in to it more. This would also be a great opportunity for the character to think about things that have happened that made her suspect she was different from other people.
~consider rephrasing: "It was early evening when everyone in our locality are having their afternoon nap. Even visitors don’t come at this time. " (eg: "It was early evening, and many people in our neighborhood were accustomed to having a nap at this time. Visitors at such an hour were all but unheard of!")
~"five and a half feet tall" is the correct indicator of the height, or "just over five feet tall" (lol, that's short to me, but I am a giantess, lol)
~"He was Hagrid, the Hogwarts gamekeeper." (How does she know this? Has she read the books? This is a great opportunity for her to elaborate what she does know about the wizarding world and how astounded she is that it's all becoming real to her
~ "I replied with all my fears gone." (adding impact here would be nice, eg: I replied. As I gazed up his warm face/gentle hands/other attribute that inspires confidence, all my fears suddenly disappeared. I was ready to take my place in the world of magic.)
~In most cases, you start dialogue in a new paragraph if it's someone new speaking. Let me know if that's unclear.
~email me if you need anything or if you have any questions: dolcina at hotmail dot com (you might want to ask your parents first if it's okay, or cc them the emails. thanks!) You really are a creative writer, esp for your age! I expect great things. Take care!

Author's Response: THANK YOU VERY MUCH for the review. and even more for your advice. i'll certainly make the changes you suggested. and yes actually the main character(me) has read Harry Potter books. i just forgot to mention it. i'll change that too. Actually in this story there's a mention of JKR being a witch.(i really thought so when i read my first Harry Potter book. i actually thought how could anybody have such a fabulous imagination!) and she's writing books on Harry Potter (of course after taking permission from the Ministry) and everybody was obvious that the Muggles won't belive this and think that it's an imaginative story. thanks really for reading the story

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