I know this was your first story (the author's note states quite clearly...) but I thought I'd leave this anyway.
I'd like to express my joy in such a well-written one-shot, and also at a Fenrir Greyback one as well, I've never read one before and I think you got it right, insofar as Greyback was ever human, I'd like to believe that he was good once, and didn't revel in a five-year-old boy's terror.
And the ending was very powerful, the I Am thing, it really got me.
I don't actually have any criticism, which is rare.
Bryarly :)Author's Response: Aw, that's so sweet, Bryarly! I'm glad that you think it's right; I think there's a bunch of theories about Greyback's transformation. Thanks for your review! Report Review
This was a really great story :) was the little boy supposed to be Remus?Author's Response: Thank you! It's been years since I've looked at this, and I think it could use a little touching up, but I'm glad you enjoyed it!
And the little boy I had in mind was Remus, but it really could be anyone you want. ;) Report Review
wow! That was very good! I really enjoyed how you managed to humanise him, I actually sympathised with him for a little while there. Excellent description and characterisation, I enjoyed reading this very original oneshot, Thank you! xxAuthor's Response: Thank you! Looking back, I'm not too sure how much I like this story anymore, but I leave it up just so I can see how far my writing has changed, if at all. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten the chance to write much recently. This was the very first fanfic though.
Thank you for reading! Report Review
Well this was an amazing story. I never thought i would say this but poor Greyback nobody deserves to be a werewolf but maybe just maybe what he was trying to do was right from his POV?? You actually made me feel sorry for him ... the way you characterized him was perfect. You writing is flawless and very captivating. When Greyback was talking to that boy i was like "Poor boy" but i was also feeling "Poor Greyback" because it showed how desperate he was. Great story and refreshing all the same.
~AmieAuthor's Response: Thank you!
This was my first bit of fanfiction, and I keep on intending to edit this...although I think now my views would have changed quite a bit, and the message would be different... Report Review
Well, I figured that since you gave me such amazing feedback on my first story, I really needed to come and check out your first attempt! Ok, so impressions here are again that you make your characters who are normally hated seem human, which is a pretty unique talent.
I only spotted one grammar issue, when the healer is talking to Fenrir's parents and tell him that there are "to options" I think you meant "two." Otherwise, the story is perfect.
I can't believe the level of skill that people like you have on their first go. It just makes me realize that I have so far to climb on the ladder to even come close to reaching the talent level of some people on this site...
Great story!Author's Response: *hides in embarassment* Oh dear...thank you so mcuh for liking my first attemtpt at fanfiction. At one point, I re-wrote this entire thing, but didn't have the heart to fix up my embarassing first try.
I realize there are plenty of mistakes in this story, and I fixed them...but they're stored on my computer only. I added in a bit more description between dialogue thingys and of course, fixed that bit up. Kinda funny, actually...since now when I read other people's things I pick up on grammar errors pretty quick...
Thanks for the review, Gords! Report Review
This is a wonderful speculation into what to do with minor werewolves, and how savage such a community might be to live in. The way you've written it makes one feel sorry for Greyback as a child, which would be, I think, hard to do.
Very well done.Author's Response: Thank you!
During Greyback's childhood, I imagien that society would be even more unaccepting than when Remus was a child, so I tried to imagine what would happen to children werewolves instead of going to Hogwarts. I don't like believing that people are born to be bad, so I tried to create a situation in which it was necessary...
Thanks for the reviews, BKL8008!!!! Report Review
Hello Again! (I reviewed in Peter's tale)
This was really interesting. I have been looking around the site for some like this...i'm really glad you made it! Do you know any others?
9/10 just because I think it could have been longer and was missing a peice somewhere.
Great peice of work!Author's Response: Why, thank you for reviewing again!
I'm glad you liked it, and gargh, I have a revised version of this on my computer, but as it's not altogether complete, I've ben putting off fixing it up. One day I will.
I'm glad you liked this, and if you want more stories about Greyback, I think vampirekisses has one...and you can type 'Greyback' into the search engine and look from there. :D
Unless you meant you were looking for some minor character stories in general, in which case, that's what all of mine are. Sauerkraut_poet (can't spell her name) does a wonderful job with minor charries, and I'm sure if you use the search engine, you can find many, many more.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Omg Brandi, the ending was simply amazing. *Grins widely* You've made Antonia very, very proud. Although, I supose this waas written before antonia existed, but still, she is very proud :D.
I loved how you entertwined the past and the present and the back story you gave on Fenrir. The feel of the fic was dark, yet I felt sympathetic for him at the same time.
Great work :D 10/10...now, to get on with the banner :DAuthor's Response: Thank you!
I'm glad I've made you proud, but I really must find my innocence...*squints*
And thank you so much for the lovely banner! Report Review
I really like it :) You have very idiosyncratic POV, it's refreshing to read a story about a 'bad' character and be prompted to look behind the surface. I really like your story about Dolores Umbridge as well :) and I hope you're continuing with Memoirs of Petunia. Keep up the good work!! :)Author's Response: Oh thank you so much for reading all my stories! I'm delighted to hear that you liked them!
Petunia will be updated eventually. I have the childhood part and part of the rest of the chapter written out. The reason that one takes so long, I think, is because I've become increasingly aware that all the chapters are going ot have to fit together somehow, and that gets me a little stuck sometimes.
I'm glad you also liked Dolores. :)
I actually have a revised version of this story saved on my computer. It's the same in essentials, but I've tried to make the writing move more smoothly. This was the first story I ever wrote, and it feels rather clumsy when I read it.
And yes, a common theme in most of my stories is to take the bad character and make them good somehow. I'm glad you liked it. :)
That is so good! Really well written, and great job! Is that little boy Remus? I am a huge fan of his (See my screen name) and I don't know if it's him or not. Great job, good story, and 10/10!Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I've actually got an edited version of this saved on my computer, so it's all really when I want to post that counts...
And you're not supposed to be able to tell who the little boy is...(but between you, me, and everyone else who reads my r&r's I was thinking of Remus when I wrote this ;) )
This was your first? OMG you are incredible. This is so sad and sweet, yet so terrible at the same time. That poor kid doesn't know wht's going to happen. Aw! You are a fantastic author! =DAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you liekd this, ecen though I'm thinking it needs some major edits here and there.
Thank you midwinter wolf for all of your great reviews! Report Review
is this really your first fanfic? it's really good and very original!
I loved it!Author's Response: Thank you! I think that there's a lot I could improve on, so I may be updating it eventually... Report Review
wow wow wow wow, i like alot! that is an amazing story.Author's Response: *Squees* Thank you! This was the first fanfic I ever wrote and I'm so glad you liked it! *grins broadly* Thanks for the review! Report Review
This is great I always love storys about werewolfs. I think the part about meyer's home for werewolfs is the best, or mabey hearing the doctors opinoin.Author's Response: THank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
It's okayyy...Author's Response: Yeah, I know. I'd like to think that I've gotten better than this, to be honest. This story really needs some edits, which I will do when I find the time. It was the first one I had written, and it was written and posted in the same day. Mainly because I had just become a member and really wanted to pot something...
I like the idea for this, though...so one day I'll go back and edit. I will! Report Review
The end is scary.
Good job!Author's Response: Haha, I love the ending...that's where the story came from, more or less...
I'm glad you commented on it though, I've found that endings really are a good part of any story...
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Pretty sweet. It's like a bittersweet story, and a fierce ending. I really liked this.Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the ending, the idea for this story started with the ending, to be honest...
it is bittersweet, in a sense, it's life and stuff just...happens... Report Review
Very nice. The short, emphasizing sentences at the end worked really well, it was probably my favorite part. :D But then, I'm just a fan of those...Author's Response: Hehe, thank you! I'm a fan of those too! :) Report Review
That was so sad!!! Who was the little boy? An OC? Or Remus?Author's Response: first, thanks for the review! The little boy is really up to your imagination...I like to think of it as Remus...but I've heard others say it was Draco and others who were content to call him an OC...it's really up to you! Report Review
I really liked this fic...the way Fenrir was so playful with the boy. I also liked how you threw in the touch of regret that he felt right as he was transforming. It made him a bit more human. And poor Remus! I knew it was him, so I was almost laughing to myself as I imagined him as the proud little 5-year-old. I also liked the idea of the home for werewolves.
Some of your sentences were a bit choppy, but overall, it was a very good story. Great job!Author's Response: Thanks, this was my very first fanfic...and like i've told other reviewers, I really want to fix it someday...but sadly I haven't gotten around to it. I almost don't want to though, not yet, not until I can see where my writing has progressed...
And yep, I intended the little boy to be Remus, although I never specifed...and i was trying to make him cute... Report Review
Haunting. I got chills reading it.Author's Response: Really? Hm, this is actually my least favorite of the stories I've written. It feels blocky to me, but when I go back to make any corrections...I can't, it was my first fanfic and I like seeing if there's any progression with my writing. Oh well, if you liked, thanks. Report Review
That's some really great writting. I love how you took a character that we know practically nothing about and you wrote his story. I like how you showed more to Greyback than just him being EVIL. I felt bad for him, but also got a better understanding as to why he turned out the way he is. Fantastic!!!
10/10Author's Response: Thank you, I love fics about characters that we know little about, so I figured I'd write my own. I happen to be one of those people who believe that people are made to be bad, they didn't just start out that way. Report Review
Oh wow, great job. I don't often come across Greyback fics often, so it was nice to read something a little different. You describe things very nicely and the whole thing flowed well. I honestly didn't know it was Greyback until the very last sentance (I thought it was Remus!), so good job at keeping me guessing. I loved you last four lines ... very chilling and they summed the whole thing up nicely. Overall, great job. I really liked this ^_^Author's Response: Thanks so much! I know I didn't specify, but while I was writing, I actually thought of Remus being the little boy. I actuially don't think I've ever read another Greyback fic before, I shall have to go looking for one...
Thanks you! Report Review
This was splendid! Your words were impeccable and the ending gave the story a flawless finish! You really got me to understand Fenrir and his feelings. His past made me feel sympathy, but the present made me feel a sadness and pity for him, for the way he had to turn out. I really enjoyed how the doctor described werewolves, as it is fitting for Greyback's time period. :)
My favorite part is his conversation with the little boy. It just brings to mind all those times my parents told me not to talk to strangers, no matter how nice or kind. I wanted to grab the boy and take him far away from Greyback, but at the same time I wanted to see how Greyback would talk to him. I have to say, he's good with kids.
All in all, this was wonderful! Great job!Author's Response: Yeah, you would think that the little boy would no better, but I guess not. And it was said that Greyback specialized in kids, so this is how I assume he does it.
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I love it so much! Keep writing!Author's Response: Sadly, I'm not continuing with this fic, but I've got other ones! Thanks for reading! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection