You never really followed your summery. Even though I know that you don't want to change the story too much, I feel that you kind of have to to make the story click. I would lengthen the plot if I were you, and describe a little bit of what had happened before, and more of what happened after he slipped into the coma. Just a suggestion, but otherwise it was a good read. Author's Response: erm, thanks. I'll keep that in mind next time. and thanks again :) Report Review
You didn't follow the summary, but it was good.
Author's Response: erm, thanks. Report Review
not bad but who i s ayden???Author's Response: ahh, crap. sorry 'bout that. its supposed to be Harry. In the original story I wrote for school his name was Ayden >_< Report Review
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