again spelling and also for dialogue try starting new paragraphs in between people. its quite confusing.Author's Response: sorry,I'll try to fix that in future chapters,thankz. Report Review
spelling would make these a lot easier to read. i think you kind of rushed into things but ill keep reading.Author's Response: thankz,i'll try to make other chapies better! Report Review
hey, i just wanted to write and say sorry for hte completely nasty review i left for your detention story =[ i feel sooo bad i was having a horrible day even tho thats no excuseAuthor's Response: It's ok I was in a bad day and it kind of ticked me off,It;s ok though because reveiws like that encourage writers to write more and get better(I deffenitly need to do that)thanks for saying your sorry,see ya later,---Elizabeth---
this is your friend ilovharry6583 i love the ending it was very good.bye
*ilovharry6583*Author's Response: ha ha ha STOP reveiwing SHELBY you leave one more review on my page and I will come to your house and hurt you!!!!!!!!!!!LOL LOL LOL d-: NA I'm kidin,but your only sposed to review once see ya at school (-: Report Review
kinda hard to decifer where they were. and i kinda didn't understand. it was a bit confusing you might need to read over it again.Author's Response: what-ever!!!!!!!dude,dont like it dont read it.but anyways reveiws like yours still help so thankz. Report Review
Very well done ilovseshy. I throughly enjoyed reading your story.
Yes, I am the actual Daniel Radcliffe and I love reading all the Harry
Potter fan fiction. Your story is very well written. Congratulations!
Daniel_RadcliffeAuthor's Response: Are you realy Daniel Radcliffe????????OMG!!!!!!!!!Thank you so much,ah,I can't believe this is happening,I'm actualy getting good reviews d-: lol,thank you. Report Review
The plot is okay, however the spelling and punctuation is horrible! I can't even believe it, I stopped reading the story halfway through because I can't stand all of these mistakes!Author's Response: Not in a bad way but,You don't like my story then don't read it.Next time if you do decide to read and review again,don't be so negetive,I'm young I make mistakes,I'm only in jounior High,Thanks for the review.)-; Report Review
AWESOME story. love it. Keep on writting, i really cant wait for the next chapter:)Author's Response: Thank you so much,your one of the few reviews that is all positive,most people want to point out my mistakes.Being young I get wrapped in the plot and dont see my mistakes,thank you!!!!!!!!(-= Report Review
Ha...this is really good Elizabeth!!! I just wish you would write more. [= Keep going!!Author's Response: I'll write more soon thanks,I'm not a
****trusted author**** yet so untill the 27th I can't submit the next chappie but after it'll be out in a jiff,hey are you a big harry ginny shiper if you are email me at email@example.com and I'll try to start a harry/ginny story as soon as I get the next chapter out,-thanks-
-----Elizabeth----- Report Review
it was really good. but i think that ur format needs a lil' bit of work like instead of Malfoy and slaped him hard across the face and said,dont you ever call me a mudblood again,Before she could even get the second part out of her mouth Malfoy had pinned her wrist to the wall above her and said slowly and clearly,DONT you ever touch me again. it shouldn't all be in the 3rd paragaph and the dialogue should have quotes around it so it's a lil' easier to follow.
I thought that the story was really good though.Author's Response: Thanks every review helps I'll edit the chapter when I get some time,and I get what your saying I was up late at like 3 am. when I wrote and submited this chapter so I dont think I was thinking strait,so thanks again,
-----Elizabeth------- Report Review
hey, i like it. it'd be easier to read though if when tehy said something you could put it in quotes or drop to a new line. I love it thoAuthor's Response: I'm a young writer and some times people have to point out the easy mistakes that I make,I love to write but I get so wound up in the plot I mess up on the text,so I'll edit,edit,edit,as soon as I get this chapter edited and get it revalidated,I'll be getting the next chapter out so be looking for It in the next few weeks.Thank for the review(-:
-----Elizabeth----- Report Review
Well here's some advice.
1. You need to put quotation marks around what people are saying. (Ex. "What the freak, Malfoy?")
2. Every time a different person in the conversation speaks, a new paragraph needs to be started.
3. Please use spell check, since many words were misspelled. (Ex: gourges = gorgeous, curles=curls, supries=surprise).
4. In accordance with the spell check rule, make sure that you are using the proper spelling of a word, since the wrong spelling can give the sentence an entirely different meaning. (Ex. "I have to spend a hole year living with you in this sentence the word "hole" should be spelled "whole"
5. Also make sure that you are using spacing correctly. After each sentence, you should have a space between the end of that one and the beginning of the next one. Spacing would also help your paragraphs to look better formed.
But other than that stuff, your story appears to be ok for a young writer. I wish you luck on your story.
Author's Response: Thanks,I'm a young arthor and it was late when I wrote this chappie,I'll go back and edit it soon. Report Review
i liked your story
but there should be proper dialogues
i mean instead of saying
youre a mudblood said draco and i hate u
you shld say
"you're a mudblood," said draco, "and i hate you"Author's Response: Thanks all you reviewers save my story.I'll edit it soon. Report Review
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