this has the makings of a very good story. the dialogue moves right along without being repititious or boring and there is some descriptive elemet also although that does need work.you need to do a little editing and a little sentence reconstruction as some of them are a little confusing. for example does mr. kone's hair have a long nose? hope this helps a little. keep up the good work/ i'm looking forwaed to reading more. Report Review
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