Hey...nice story. I enjoyed reading it. I hope you do continue. I liked that you stuck to facts accurately. I'm indian myself, so i enjoyed the story. I hope you do continue. I dont mind helping you in anything you want to know about indian culture. :) Report Review
Hey, there! Iím here to spread the love for HPFFSAD!
Wow, what for an interesting start. Just your A/N at the beginning made me realise that this is the story for me and that it will be interesting.
I liked this first chapter a lot. The way you portrayed the family situation seems very realistic and I could really see it happen. While reading the books I never gave the matter a lot of thought but after reading this is really does fit. Itís very believable and your use of Indian terms was such that even without checking your notes at the bottom they were understandable for me.
Great job, Iíll definitely read the second chapter!
Antje Report Review
I like the way you've characterized the twins. We know so little about them, but I think you took what we do know and expanded it to make them round characters. I like that Parvati wants to stay and fight. It's definitely understandable that they wouldn't want to leave their home and friends to go somewhere unfamiliar. I like the story of their grandparents, and, again, I think you're doing a great job developing the magical traditions of India by blending fact and fiction together. Report Review
This writing is so strong and enjoyable to read. Your characters are developed very well. I can definitely see any couple living away from their culture having a conversation similar to this. I love the way you've decided to have Indian wizards have their own magical traditions. I'm interested to see how this develops!! :) Report Review
That was very very original and good. You displayed all of the canon's very well. I loved the blend of the Indian culture, it was very interesting! Keep writing!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you liked the story despite the weirdness. I'll try to update soon. :) Report Review
I've never read anything written from this perspective before.
Magic bharata natyam? That's really cool.
The sort I do just makes my feet hurt =[Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you like the story idea - I know it's a bit weird, but I hope it'll turn out okay. :) Report Review
Great storyline you have here. We don't know much about the Patil twins and Lav Brown but you've made them very believable and real characters. This story is very different from other things I've read and it seems like you've done your homework about India. That's refreshing. It feels like you really know what you're writing about. I'm looking forward to read more.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you liked the characterization. I particularly love writing about minor characters. I did live in India for a short while, which is what inspired this story. But I still worry sometimes that I'll accidentally misrepresent something... Anyway, glad you like it, I'll try to update soon. :) Report Review
Um, WOW! This seems so researched and...just wow!
I really like how you've written Padma, Parvati and Lav - there isn't much about them and you've got an interesting plot.
Can't wait for an update!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked the characterizations and everything and I'll try to update soon. =) Report Review
I love dhal. I had some today actually with rice. Yum. No one makes it better than my mum. In fact, I feel like some more now ^^ Great chapter btw.Author's Response: thanks. :) Report Review
Whoa, this is awesome! I never thought about the Patils' family...you did a great job. You're going on my Favorite Authors now!Author's Response: Thanks so much, I'm glad you like this story so far! Report Review
hey me again!
its nice to know that you say what you know and also add that most of it will be fiction. good disclaimer.
excellent story, if you need anything just ask me in the reviews and when i check for your reply i'll try to tell you as much as i can. and you're right even the bharatha natyam that i learn is mainly devoinal dances to the diferent gods we have.
AND! how cool is it that padma and parvati's grandmother speaks tamil! i do too! best language ever! wooot! LOL getting a tad excited
and do you want to know what first pulled me to this story? the use of the name Shiva in your story. in my religion they say that as you grow older you find your chosen god that you wish to worship for the rest of your life and would you guess who my chosen god is? thats right Lord Shiva...
well dont hesitate if you need anything at all yea? if you just want to pop a review to one of my stories and give me your email addy i can try to help you with whatever i can!
great story looking forward to next chapter!
VithiyaAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the great review! I'm glad you're liking the story so far, especially since you're Indian - I'm especially nervous about what Indian people will think of this story, lol... I hope I can portray your language and culture well enough in the coming chapters. I will probably be asking you some questions on the more specific movements of bharata natyam once I get to that part of the story. Do you have an account on the forums? I don't want to spam up the review system. :) Report Review
That is so wafully creative to change a dance form to a form of magic! I really, really like this story! The chapter was good. It was nice to have a bit of Hogwarts before they leave for India. I liked the story about the grandparents and to get to know a bit more about the indian magic.
There were a couple of small mistakes. Here: "pored over the latest issue of Witch Weekly." I think it should be poring, and there was some other problem with tense soon after that. Other than that I have no critique.
I cannot help you with the Indian thing as I have only been on one Bollywood dance class and that's about all I know about their dances. Though interesting was that they apparently have like a sign language in the dances in the movies since a lot of people don't know the language the movies are made in. So they know the story from the dance movements and especially handmovements in them. The Indian culture is very interesting! I'm so eager to know more about how things will be in this story.
I was wondering about the males who are magical in India (in your story obviously :P ) What do they do? Don't they get recognised as magical at all?
This also made me think that with the help of mythology and things there could be made many different kinds of national branches of magic. It's so fun to blend in mythology and traditions into the HP world (well, as that is what has been done from the beginning), isn't it?
So what I'm saying again is that, lovely chapter Lena! Oh, and poor girls! (just throwing in that too)
-Annina Author's Response: Thanks so much for the great review Annina! I'm glad you like the fic so far, and thanks for the critique as well. Anyway don't worry if you can't help - I was mostly asking the few Indian girls that reviewed the first chapter. I've seen some Bollywood dance too but that's even farther removed from the devadasi dance than the more "classical" style of bharata natyam - it's more popularized, I guess. But the thing with the hand movements existed way before the movies. It may be that they included that style of dancing in the movies for comprehension purposes as well as entertainment - I didn't realize that. But, yeah, the hand movements weren't created for the purpose of the movies or anything. But they are very intriguing, and actually a lot of the reason I wanted to try making a magical version - certain hand movements would signify different spells and such. I just don't know enough about the specifics of various movements in the dance to make as accurate a fanfic as I'd like yet. As far as the males and their magic - I'm so glad someone started to wonder about that, I was hoping people would. It is something I've thought out a lot and which will be very important in future chapters... I just don't want to reveal anything quite yet. But your question will be answered eventually. =)I'm also glad this got you thinking about different styles of magic in other countries. I'd LOVE to see more fics about wizarding schools in foreign countries but it's hard to find them. Maybe I'll make it a challenge or something... anyway thanks again for the great review! Report Review
Very good although the exposition is a bit heavy in places. But I don't see a way to avoid it and this way you won't have to repeat it in latter chapters. I think that in addition to the very interesting cultural stuff we are going to see that this should develope into an interesting 'outsiders point of view' of the war.
DH actually gives you some interesting material especially near the end with what we know may have happened to Lavender.
I want to see what you do with this dance magic. Looking forward to the next chapter. Author's Response: Thanks for another great review! I know what you mean about the exposition... I'm not entirely happy with this chapter and may revise it if I see a better opportunity to reveal some of these details in later chapters. That's the problem with writing one chapter at a time with months in between, I guess... but anyway you're right that I do hope to give an interesting POV on some of the events in DH, although the story will really be focused on what's going on in India, at least for a while. But the actual dance magic isn't coming until much later, sorry. Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
Very nice. I'm beginning to really love this story now that i have a bit more to go on! Update soon! 10/10!
~Estrella Author's Response: thanks so much, I'll try to get the next chapter up soon! Report Review
can't wait to hear more about indian magical society. what a unique original idea, and you've done a great job with the details (and this is coming from someone indian)Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it, especially being Indian yourself. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. =) Report Review
i've been reading through others reviews (hehe) and must say i disagree with one. bharata natyam is something all indians learn. just because it originated from the south, doesn't mean its held captive there.
I can tell you a bit about Patils. I am pretty sure this is right: Patil is close to Patel, which is the surname of many people in the state of Gujurat in India. I have heard about quite a few Patils in the Gujurat, too.
Now, on to the story - I think its a great beginning and you have everything just right. Great description and story idea. This is going on my favs. Update soon! 10/10!
~Estrella Author's Response: Thanks so much for the great review! I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks for the tip on which region of India Mukesh's dad might have come from! Report Review
wow, nice story. I'm south indian and i love the use of Bharatha Natyam if only it had magical properties, then i would be magical, after all i've been learning for 12 + years. great story! hope you update soon! i'm looking forward to this story although i dont really think the the Patils would be learning bhartha natyam since it is south indian and they are from the north but hey! totally up to you! bring on the rest of the story!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the great review! I may have to pick your brains about some of the details of bharata natyam at some point in the future, since you've been studying so long! As for why Anupriya was studying bharata natyam, well, the Patils family history is long and complicated (at least in my fic), but a lot more will be explained in the next chapter, which should be up in a week or so. =) Report Review
Wow. This is incredibly original, and I love it! It was written very well, and the characters are very developed. The emotions are also perfect. The characters seem like real people.
A few of my friends are Indian, and all of the cultural parts seem spot on. I look forward to an update!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the great review. I'm glad you like my take on the twins' parents and find them realistic. Report Review
Very very good. The only suggestion I have is maybe the stars next to the indian words arn't needed? The story is really good and unique. Keep writing and check out my fics!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the great review! Report Review
I will certainly be following this fic, Lena. You have got cliched Indian family bickering down perfectly! I actually laughed out loud when Aunpriya began complaining that she wished her daughter's to be trained in bharata natyum! I wonder if she realises that should voldemort win the war, he is only going to progress to conquer the entire world. Mukesh's contrast to her character was wonderful and beneath the differences you can really see a couple that love and care for each other. You say she came over from India, do I catch a hint of an arranged marraige that worked? Excellent. I can't wait to see the twins' try and integrate. I always did say to my mother that I would love to spend a day in a traditional Indian school just to see how they'd react to me. Ohhh I just love love love. It's nice to see I'm not the only one whose writing a story about exploring India from a Western POV. :) 10/10! Author's Response: Thanks so much!!! I didn't know you were writing a story about India. I'd love to read it sometime. Anyway I'm glad you liked the story, and that you can see how much the two do care for each other regardless of their fighting. It's actually not an arranged marraige, as you'll see in the next chapter - I thought about it briefly but it's just too hard to make something like that ToS compliant and I didn't want to deal with that. As for the twins, yeah, it should be interesting. Their personalities are quite different than mine so it won't really be like my experiences in India, but some of the girls I went with act similar to Parvati in the books, so combining my experiences with my observations of the people I went with, hopefully it'll be somewhat realistic. Thanks for the great review!!! Report Review
This is really nice. I love both the OC's here and I have the feeling that when this whole story is finished it will be one of the most intriguing and different stories on thes site.
Anytime someone takes on a serious examination of the Patils they should get bonus points, because they are hard to do. Since most writers have no clue about their culture. But you do having been there.
Excellent job!Author's Response: Thanks so much for another great review!!! I'm glad you like my version of the Patils' parents. And like you said the fic will certainly be different... but sadly there's no way I'll have it done before book 7 comes out, so hopefully people will still find it interesting. thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
This is extremely well written and promises to be an interesting read! Can't wait for more! 10/10Author's Response: thanks!!! Report Review
Sounds great so far! I can't wait to read more, update soon!Author's Response: thanks so much. i'm working on the next chapter, so hopefully it'll be up soon. =) Report Review
Excellent beginning, I haven't read a fic as original as this for a long time. I for one couldn't have come up with anything near this original. I can't wait to see how this story progesses. Good job!Author's Response: Thanks so much!!! I'm glad you're excited about the idea too! =) Report Review
I don't think I've enjoyed a story this much for a while. Much less sit there saying the characters' names over and over because they sound nice. Mukesh... Mukesh... Anyway.
I've admired India for quite a long while now and I was delighted to see you've snagged onto the Patil twins' heritage and have come up with a great beginning to what's probably a great story. I love your stories.
Author's Response: *squee* I'm so glad you read this!!!! And that you liked it too... especially the part about Mukesh, lol... I will always treasure this review, you are too funny! Thanks again!!! Report Review
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