Reading Reviews for How Could You?
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Kon Weasley How Could You?

11th September 2011:
Ok. Ron would NEVER do that though. Confusing...

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Review #2, by BitterHeart How Could You?

1st November 2009:
Well, I wasn't expecting that ending!

I like the idea behind the story: Ron's corruption is a great idea!
You have some spelling mistakes, such as 'Weasly' should be 'Weasley' and 'apoligize' should be 'apologize'.

The ending is quite fast, but I see what you were doing, shocking the reader.
Overall, a good story! :)

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Review #3, by remus_is_mine How Could You?

2nd May 2007:
LOVE IT!! but DiggaDigga's review was really harsh! so what if it was different??? so what if it was occ?? IT ROCKS!!! oh and DiggaDigga, the next time you review someones awesome story that they worked hard on, be a bit nicer!! not to be like mean or anything. but me on the other hand, LOVES THE STORY!! KEEP IT UP!! [9/10]

Author's Response: thanks! I'm really glad that you like my story :]. DiggaDigga is entitaled to their own opinon though. I've learned not to get mad but really try getting better in my writing from peoples suggestions. (so far most of them are grammar, spelling, and OCCish lol) I'm not against any people who don't like OCCish stuff but sometimes it annoys me a little that they don't even try enjoying the difference.
Thankyou again!! I feel so acomplished people like my story so much!

:] 9 out of 10!! yay!! lol

xoxo Becca

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Review #4, by DiggaDigga How Could You?

30th April 2007:
First off, im gonna correct some technical things. When doing a flashback, you really dont need the seperator things. As long as its in italics people get the point and the story flows much better without being told that it is a flashback. Also, the second flashback has has HAS to be in italics. It's just the way its done (plus, if you do something set-up wise that your not sure about you must at least keep it the same wherever you use it)

I also feel that your story needs to be much more developed. You never really know why ron and hermione are in the dumps in the beginning, and instead of trying to explain whats happening, you add a song. Now songs are great and all, but they should never be used in place of describing ones emotions. So instead of having that song, maybe just have ron think long and hard during the shower and describe his thoughts. THis may include things like why hermione was mad with him, what he had screwed up, maybe mention something along the lines him feeling conflicted and that he had to do something that he wanted to do. Maybe balance his feelings for hermione vs his family (you could still surprise people by making them think that for some reason hed have to abandon his family to live with hermione)

Also, there is no reason for hermione to have made such a transformation. I know that its necesary for the plot, but you have to give her a reason. Maybe she goes because she feels that she needs to have a talk with ron about something. I dont really know, just something

And then the whole sex part of it just seems really wierd. Like maybe have first some nostalgia type talk. Maybe a romantic dinner. Confessing his love for her. And it would probably be better if he tells her about his flashback instead of merely flashing back to it. Then he would kill her. If you feel the attempted sex part is necesary, i would include it after or before he tells her (but def after talk and dinner). Maybe give there a reason why hermione was so excited about the abandoned cottage. Does it have a historical message? Is it just a romantic spot? Whatever you make it, just give it meaning

The OOCness is a problem. As is your believabilty. It just doesnt seem real. This comes from the lack of development in your piece. Every time you write something, make sure that there is a reason for it happening. Dont substitute song lyrics for emotions. Follow this and you could write a much better story or revise this one to be much better. I havent read your other work, and i am sorry if you feel that i am being harsh. I hope that i have helped, and that you dont percieve this as a flame. Keep writing and i am sure that you will improve

Author's Response: theres a lot of helpful suggestions in there. Thanks! But I don't really need a few. About the OCCness, it's not a problem. OCCs are my favorite types of writing. As or you thinking that your being harsh, your not. But I don't think you really got that I was trying to write something completely different. Thats why it was so OCCish. But thanks for the review anyway! A lot of it helped!

xoxo Becca

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Review #5, by gina_ginny_potter How Could You?

12th April 2007:
love it! very OOC..-ish hehe but I don't care! Ron is very rude though! Very rude to Hermione! Hehe. Some spelling and grammar mistakes here and there though. But it's still very nice! You have talent!

Author's Response: thankyou! yeah ist VERY OOCish haha. But if you think this story is OCCish wait till you see one of my new stories coming out after 'Could It Be' is finally validated. It's mostly random.

Yeah the spelling/grammar, it sticks to me. I will never be able to defeat it lol.


xoxo Becca

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Review #6, by dev11 How Could You?

23rd March 2007:
ooh so sad really how could ron be so mean, i mean yes he ran the risk of putting his family in danger but if harry would be in his place he would have never done so. great story though i loved it and it's going right in my favourites.
P.S-rating-9/10 (ignore the rating if you don't feel it is enough but actually i'm a miser in giving points)

Author's Response: thankyou! :D i know he is very mean in this chapter! I had to twist a few things around to make this story work out though. Its very OOCish lol. Thankyou! It's great it's in your favorites! That makes me feel a lot better about my writing :D

P.S. Thankyou! (again) 9/10 is high enough for me!

thankyou for your review, and of course for reading my story!

xoxo Becca

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Review #7, by chick_fic_luver_erin How Could You?

16th March 2007:
the basic plot is really good, but i think your story should have been more developed. i really like where it was going, but maybe you should try to write a longer story and instead of flashbacks actually have chapters in present tense. i would really love to hear more from you because i really think you have talent. next time try to write your storyline out on a piece of paper or something until you are comfortable with your ideas.

Author's Response: thankyou! yes i really like the longer stories, but I can never manage to make them super long!! lol thankyou for your review! and of course for reading my story!! u rule!!

xoxo Becca

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Review #8, by angel007 How Could You?

6th March 2007:
An Hello to polymath! Your review is really mean. Who says people aren't allowed to write OOCish?? And just because you don't like this story doesn't mean everyone else won't. It's really a shame that you don't know how to use CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, because that is the only thing that can make a good story better. I mean, how would you feel, having taking your time and thought for writing a story and then hearing in your first review that it's crap.

And to lolly_luna: This is a good story. It is OOCish but very good. And who says Ron wouldn't do it? I mean it seems that Draco is turning good, why shouldn't Ron turn bad for the sake of his family? You explained everything very well and portrayed Ron and Hermione's feelings well, too. I think it is a good story and you shouldn't get yourself down because of some Ron fan who needs to defend what he does and what he does not do.

Author's Response: Thankyou! I didnt really let Polymath's review get to me, but it still helps to know people really like my story! Yeah I heard a song called How Could You and got an idea for this, but I didn't really want to do a song fic.

This review did make me real better though lol, since I hate getting bad reviews. I try doing something different everytime, and I wasn't trying to make everyone think Ron was a bad person or anything, but I just wanted to do someting different ^_^

Thankyou again for this review!! And for reading my story of course :D

xoxo Becca

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