An amazing story - truly, an enthralling read. You're a fantastic writer who writes really believable and suspenseful scenes. I know you're not promising a sequel, but I still check back every now and then to see if you've changed your mind. It's also pretty nice of you to reply to everyone's reviews too :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! :)
'Believability' is a big thing for me in stories - I think I can only suspend my disbelief so far - so to be told that in particular really makes me feel good. I'm not sure how deliberate the suspense thing is, actually! I think I try to use it sparingly, so maybe (hopefully) that helps to protect it, rather than it getting too same-y. I don't know about other writers, but sometimes scenes just seem to click for me, and they come out very naturally, which I guess would help with both of those things.
I'm not going to lie - I know how a sequel would go, and have occasionally played around with a possible start to it, but I'm also trying something completely new and original, so the chances of a sequel probably depend on how well that goes. If the original one is going slowly I'm more likely to write a sequel. So, the chances of a sequel isn't nil, at least.
Unfortunately, both are progressing slowly at the moment, but if I keep working at them, I'm sure I'll get there!
I try to respond to all the reviews I get - although because I don't get any email notifications, there can be a spell where I don't check (which is why it's taken a while to respond to this). I figure that if someone has taken the time to talk to me about my story, then the least I can do is reply!
Thanks again for the review!
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I just hope the rest of the story is different than the first chapter. The Dursleys should be completely out of the story. Making Petunia a witch was a boneheaded move. Others have tried it and it never worked. Its fine to have a little Dursley drama in the first chapter (JKR did) but after that they should barely exist in the storylineAuthor's Response: I'll be honest - I find this review a little hard to work with. Your stating that something is boneheaded isn't in and of itself particularly persuasive or helpful. Obviously I don't think it is so, or I wouldn't have written that in the first place, so we simply have a disagreement.
There's no point in comparing my work to other people's unless you can first establish a similarity in (eg) styles used, plotting, et cetera, et cetera. My work should stand on it's own merits rather than on the merits of someone else who did something with some tenuous connection to my work.
As it happens - and as subsequent chapters will bear out - Petunia's little magical problem was worked into the charms keeping Harry safe from Voldemort, and neither she nor the Dursleys feature again apart from through relatively unimportant references. Report Review
I just read this story and it was fantastic! really well written, especially the battle scenes throughout were really easy to visualize. Really cool original ideas that i really liked throughout this story, including the ideas on how voldemort clings to life and how the scrivenings are translated. I'm upset that it's over though, and there appears to be no sequel. So many cliff hangers still remain! I hope you do decide one day to pick up where you left off and continue this story in another book!Author's Response: Thank you! :)
I'm pleased that the scenes were easy to visualise, as believe it or not, I actually have a lot of difficulty visualising... anything(!)... in my head! I just sort of work by words, if that makes any sense whatsoever. So I'm really pleased my verbal descriptions managed to translate to visual ones. :)
Pleased to hear I had a number of original ideas too, there's always the fear - especially in HP fanfic - that no matter how original you think you're being, someone else has come up with it first.
As for whether there'll be a sequel - I can give no promises I'm afraid. We'll just to see how things go.
Thanks again for the review!
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OK. I take back every nice thing I said in earlier reviews. I hate, hate, hate stories with no endings from authors who say smugly, "There will be no more." It's why I don't read unfinished fan fiction. Tarnation. This isn't fair. You hook us all in with a great story, a compelling plot.and then you leave us with no ending. I feel as if I just wasted three days of my life -- days I'll never get back -- on something.Author's Response: I'm really sorry you feel that way. First off, if you think that I was in any way being smug, you've misunderstood me. Maybe it was the way I wrote the A/N, which was intended jocularly, because - well - that's how I try to write online as a rule, and I was in a good mood due to finishing the story.
Secondly, I didn't (and intentionally so) say there would be no more. I have the plot for the conclusion in my head, and I know where it would be going. I just didn't want to write it straight away.
Now I'm going to justify myself, which I guess may well be a bit silly in that this is all online, and neither of us knows each other, and you quite likely won't read this anyway. I guess I feel I just have to, because I think you have misunderstood me, and I'm a silly sap who doesn't like to be thought ill of.
Firstly, you may (or may not) have noticed that this story took a long time to write. There are a few reasons for that, which I won't go into detail with, and (obviously) there is some private stuff I'm not going to divulge.
I was really struggling to write for quite a time due to some personal circumstances. It wasn't writer's block, it was something else. I was struggling with external pressures, and I found myself putting extra pressure on myself to finish the story. I didn't deal with that pressure particularly well, and my writing suffered as a result.
During that time, I went an age without updating, and despite being determined to complete the story, it went nowhere for a while.
That, therefore, heavily influenced my saying that I would not promise the sequel. I didn't (and don't) want to end up in that situation again, where I have an unfinished story.
One of the reasons I want to write something original, is to hopefully help myself to get out of this situation, where I'm finding it hard to write. That - again - led to my lack of a promise for a sequel.
As it happens, I have actually written a little bit for a potential conclusion. Nowhere near enough for me to be happy publishing it - obviously - even if I did decide to put it on the web here before it was fully completed.
Will it ever be completed and put here? I honestly don't know, and I'm unwilling to make promises I don't know if I can keep. I promised I'd finish Scrivenings, and although it took me a while, I did. I take that kind of promise seriously.
I do, however, take slight umbrage at the suggestion that there was no ending. There was an ending, it was just one which (hopefully) led naturally on to a sequel. Was there an ending to Goblet of Fire? Well, yes, even though it clearly didn't have all the ends wrapped up.
I don't claim to be an expert at this writing lark - this is the first real story I've ever done - I just do my best. Did the story need a touch more tied up to be more stand alone? Possibly. The thing is, that the bits that would have had to be tied up were intentionally included because I needed them for the final book that is in my head. It's a bit damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I'm really sorry you feel you wasted your time on the story. I truly am. The only glimmer of pleasure I can take out of it is that despite your wishing to take back every nice thing you said, you then went on to call the plot compelling and the story great.
I guess maybe I hope that if you can say that, then it wasn't as much of a waste as you said it was. Sorry if that sounds narcissistic in any way, it isn't intended to be. :(
Thanks for your reviews, regardless. (And apologies for the length of this response.)
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I do believe that any spelling or grammar mistakes are Word's fault -- that spell checker can be useful, but if you don't know proper grammar and spelling, it can introduce silly mistakes. One of the things I am enjoying about this story -- aside from the unusual plot and the interactions between the characters -- is the ability not to mentally correct the spelling and grammar as I read. I think the best skill demonstrated so far, though, is the great interactions between characters. Not too wordy, not too detailed, but nuanced enough to make the story compelling. Thanks again for sharing!Author's Response: Indeed re: Word's spell checker (and all spell checkers I've come across). One of the big problems I've had writing is that I like to get it all written out, and comb through it later to fix any errors. The problem is that once you go through a chapter a few times, it starts to blend in your head, and you automatically correct the errors as you read. It's great as a reader, but it is very easy to miss the mistakes that need correcting. The checker can help, but as you say, it can also introduce more problems.
Glad to hear I've managed to catch most of those grammatical niggles!
I'm delighted to hear you praise the character interactions, because they are things I really worry about. One of my own big peeves with fanfiction is characterisation and their interactions, so it's an issue I try to deal with. My own personal feeling is that I've got better at it as my writing has evolved. I still intend to go back through my earlier chapters and improve that side of things.
Thanks again for the review. Report Review
So far, it's an excellent story. Characters are very well rounded, and the plotting is excellent. Not too much needless description, and good dialogue. Thanks for sharing!Author's Response: First off, sorry for not responding sooner. There's been reasons, but not ones I care to share, or that would sound very convincing to someone who doesn't know me. Glad you've enjoyed it up to this point!
I'm glad the characters come across as rounded - as a reader the characters I love the most are ones with shades of grey, which means they have to be rounded. The dialogue is one of the most interesting things as I look back at my own writing, because until this story, I absolutely hated writing it, and thought it was terrible. Something about the characters (maybe the amount of times I read the HP books) made their words easier than normal for me to write, I think.
Thanks for the review. Report Review
Thank you for this story. You have done an outstanding job. Thank you for the extensive A/N. I do not know anything about chess but I did have an idea that Aravenne was Regulus. Regarding Harry learning to read "parselscript" IMHO, you have made a major discovery within the HP universe. Of course there may be a ton of stories written with the parselscript idea but I have only read yours. Can you imagine Harry finding ancient books and being able to not only read but understand them as well. Hermione would be so jealous. LOL. The story could be called "HP and the Parselscript Diaries." Long live the Parselmouth. Well it has been a wonderful ride and I'm sorry to see it end. Thank you Afterthought.still laughing at a fertility potion helping Voldemort.Author's Response: First off, sorry for not replying sooner. I don't have any excuse to offer that would probably sound worthy. Not to say there isn't a reason, but without knowing me it probably wouldn't sound particularly persuasive.
Anyway, before I end up rambling about that(!), thank you very much for your kind words. I tend to get very attached to my work, which means that both criticism and praise mean an awful lot to me - so I love reading the latter. :)
I wanted to wrap as many things up as possible with the A/N, and try to anticipate any questions that needed an answer.
I guessed there would be people that didn't know all that much about chess, and especially the notation, which can look really bizarre. I'm no great shakes at it, but I went through a phase so I picked up that kind of thing.
I'm glad you had a glimmer about Regulus - it means that I did my job with the foreshadowing, which I agonised over. I didn't want to make it too obvious, and yet wanted the hints to be spied by a careful reader. It was the same with my other big twist, although there was some definite misdirection from me on that, it's the kind of thing I hope someone could (say) reread, and see where the hints were.
As for the parselscript, that came to me when I was trying to figure out how exactly paresltongue might work. (Which, once I came up with, I had no chance to share it with the world, but I guess that's how it goes!) In that it doesn't work like a normal language, I came up with the idea that parseltongues have something in their brains which translates it directly into thoughts. From that, I came up with the script idea in the story. It's funny that you mentioned that about Hermione, because in the story universe in my head (from almost as soon as I came up with the idea for parselscript) I had the idea that Hermione would get fixated with trying to translate parseltongue... and get really irritated with Harry! It would be such a Hermione thing to do! :)
I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. It was fun to write. Report Review
Great chapter. I'm sorry to read that there is only a short epilogue to go. Somehow I envisioned this story going on for at least 100 chapters. (j/k...hoping is all). It does really seem that you opened so many storylines and they can't possible be tied up in a short epilogue or maybe I'm thinking along the lines of 19 years later. I love the way you write. I am super grateful that you resumed this work after 7 years. Thank you so much for the story. See you at the epilogue.Author's Response: Whoo! At least 100 chapters... at the rate I go that would be... what, 1.1 millions words plus?! *mops brow*
Hehe - yup, sorry - just the small epilogue to go. In a way, it is setting up a seventh book rather than tying everything together. As for what could happen from then on - well we'd have to wait and see. Currently, although I have the main bits of it in my head, I've not started a sequel (and conclusion).
Anyway. Really glad that you enjoyed the chapter, and the story as a whole. Thank you for taking the time out to review the chapters - it is very much appreciated. Report Review
OMG, if the Dementors got inside the castle during this chapter they would have sucked everybody dry. Not a happy thought among the whole group. I can't remember if Snape seemed to recognize Regulus in any way. I'll have to go back and re-read. As they say, once a Death Eater, etc., etc. I hope that there is a "book" somewhere that will give Dumbledore a glimpse into Dementors although we don't know exactly what is in the scrivenings of SS. Perhaps the scrivenings will shed light on a lot of things. Has Hermione given he book that she has to Dumbledore. Is she holding on to it until she, Harry and Ron can read it? Is it the first book or the second book that she has? Another thing. I really like the way that the SS charm worked. Will we see that again? I love your story. Oh yeah. Percy seems exactly the type to do what he did. Perfect characterization.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! :)
Indeed - not a very happy bunch in Hogwarts. It's the first real time any of the Weasley kids, or Hermione, have ever faced anything like that, however, so it isn't surprising.
Interesting comment about whether Snape seemed to have recognised Regulus... wink wink... ;)
Some of the questions may have been answered by the next chapter - if I write a year 7 fic, that is where any of the other answers will be given. (Well, I know the answers, but I won't be giving them in the rest of the story - they were things I was setting up for a seventh book.)
I'm glad you like the SS charm - it was quite fun writing, because I could leave lots of hints about it as I was doing so. As for whether it will be seen again - well, that would be telling, wouldn't it?!
I'm really glad you like the story - I can't overstate how great it is to hear things like that! Glad you approve of Percy, too, it's something I had in mind as a possible future for him before I ever thought about writing, and was just trying to guess how canon was going to turn out. It just felt right. Report Review
Wow that was an interesting chapter, I can't wait to read what happens next.Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed! The next chapter is now up, and the epilogue will be up as soon as it has been validated by the staff here. So, in a couple of days time. Report Review
Why isn't Hermione taking care of Ron like she's supposed to?Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Simply put, at the moment, Ron hasn't been allowed any visitors by Madam Pomfrey since he awoke. The only person he's talked to other than her has been Harry by this stage. Report Review
Before anything I want to extend Happy Holidays to you and yours.
IMO this would have been a totally brilliant chapter had it not been for the extended attack on Harry. I'm not really sure how long it took in your mind but I couldn't get a gauge of time and it seemed to me that the attack went on for hours. I just don't like to see Harry like that. What did amaze me is that Harry seems to have gained the stamina of Dumbledore even with his amazing stag. And that stag was amazing. I love the way you wrote about it. I am on pins and needles waiting to find out the real meaning behind the stag. Where did Hermione go? Did she port-key somewhere to get Dumbledore or was Dumbledore's arrival because of Ginny? Why did Voldemort think he had what he came for? Doesn't Hermione have one of the Srivening books? What's up with Percy? Was that really Percy? And finally, was this all another part of Slytherin's link charm? OMG. There's so much I want to know. I know I'm babbling but this story rocks.Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you and those you love had a good holiday yourself, whatever you celebrate. :)
Poor Harry. The uncertainty about the length of time was intentional, actually, because as I've implied (or maybe even out right stated) in previous chapters, time goes by slower in Occlumency than in the real world, so a second in the real world feels much quicker in the mind. Harry did undergo it for a long time, yes. Voldemort is incredibly dangerous, and horribly cruel. He couldn't hurt Harry physically in that setting, so he did it emotionally. I don't really like seeing Harry like that either, but the story needed it.
Harry's stamina is pretty good - although it should be remembered that much of the previous chapter was in his head, and he wasn't actually using real magic. (If you're wondering, it was one of the reasons he cast the Imperius and Cruciatus curses so 'easily'.) But he'd still been through an awful lot before that, and in the fight with Voldemort.
Glad you liked the stag - I'd been (hopefully) dropping hints about how the Patronus worked from pretty early on, so I hoped it worked out well in the end. Whilst there is (obviously) reference to it in the following chapters, the very fullest explanation of it will have to be worked out by observant readers - I don't like having everything tied up *too* neatly!
Hermione didn't exactly 'go' anywhere - remember it was Ron and Harry Portkeyed away, not Hermione. And yes... it was Percy. Poor, poor Percy.
(And I hope that if anyone were to reread the bits involving Percy that they would see that this wasn't out of nowhere, but rather they - like everyone else - wanted to be fooled. That was the plan when I started writing, anyway.)
In that I don't think I made it particularly clear later on, Voldemort did not realise there were two volumes to the Scrivenings, and assumed that Harry would have taken all of them for safe keeping.
Anyway, I am absolutely delighted that you've enjoyed the story so far! Thank you! :) Report Review
Continue soon please good chapter what happen to harryAuthor's Response: Just waiting for the chapter to be validated, will be uploaded soon. Report Review
OMG. You stopped adding chapters at this critical point? Yours is a great story but with so manu of the submissions on the fafic sites it is left hanging. Thank you for as much of the story as you have submitted. i would love to read to the end.Author's Response: No, no, no! I haven't stopped adding chapters here! (I did earlier due to circumstances I'm not going to talk about, but have recently come back to complete it). Currently I'm just waiting for the next chapter to be accepted by the staff. It *is* all complete, so is going up as quickly as I can put it up!
Anyway, glad you have enjoyed the story! :) Report Review
First. What was that madness with the dementors. I mean...what did time have anything to do with the patonuses going after Dementors? I thought a patronus is produced and they immediately go after the Dementors. That part threw me off the story. And what is this last paragraph? Everybody is in the Great Hall, Dumbledore is speaking and suddenly you are writing that Harry and Ron are under the invisibility cloak. Huh? I will have to reread because I got lost twice on this chapter. Also it would seem that after Peter Pettigrew got into the castle, once, twice before it would have been of major importance to find out how he is getting in instead of waiting until he caused deaths. I don't know, just me thinking out loud.Author's Response: The Patronus is produced, and they go after the Dementor, true, but they have to get to the Dementor first. Think of Prisoner of Azkaban, where future Harry sends his Patronus after the Dementors. Time is taken for it to get to the Dementors, and then to return to the caster. They may be magical, and in the form of spirits, but they don't automatically appear where they are needed - Harry and Ron were a long way away from the fight scene when they cast their Patronuses, so it took a while for the Patronuses to get there.
As for the last paragraph, I think you must have misread it - I was referring to the last time Dumbledore said those words in Harry's hearing, which was when he and Ron were under an Invisibility Cloak (Chamber of Secrets), and saying that unlike that time, he was looking at the Slytherins, and not Harry. Neither Harry nor Ron were under the cloak.
As for Pettigrew - Dumbledore thought he knew, and thought he and Snape had stopped it reoccurring. Indeed, they *had* done. What he didn't realise was that Hogwarts wards did not encompass the Chamber of Secrets, and so the alterations he had made didn't have any effect now that Pettigrew had been there, and could get in and out (the same way rats etc. could). Report Review
I understand how most people would be against Harry using the killing curse because that is how JKR wrote it. However, in a time of war things oftentimes have to be done that are outside the norm. I like the stories that are written with Harry as a really strong wizard and I will again write that I love how you are handling your storyline.Author's Response: Whilst I would disagree as Harry being a 'really strong wizard' (as of yet), I would agree with the rest. He's more of an instinctively good fighter than anything I'd say. In terms of magical knowledge he still has a way to go - although he does have raw talent.
And as far as I am concerned, it's hard to imagine Harry defeating Voldemort without being willing to use more dangerous curses. And that includes - however little he might like using it - the Killing Curse.
Thanks for the review! :) Report Review
WOW. What a turnaround. Kingsley, Katie's father, Oliver Woods, all gone. Author, you are getting as kill happy as JKR herself.Author's Response: Come now, you didn't think Voldemort would take that lying down, did you?! :D Report Review
Loved the chapter. I am amazed with the apparent ease which you have Harry show his power. You have made Harry what I always felt he should be. For a few minutes there I wanted to smack Ollivander across the face. All thanks to Cellindane. Now on to finding out more about SS.Author's Response: I have to admit, I loved writing it, so I'm glad you loved reading it!
Harry's basically grown up and taken more responsibility than anything else, I feel. He's always had the power there, it's far more of a mental thing. I mean, he's still not exactly a match in skill for the better witches or wizards, but what he does have is the right attitude, resolve, and reactions. Report Review
First, let me say that this is a 10/10 chapter. Amazing, brilliant absolutely enthralling. Are you blushing yet? The chapter is packed with everything I find so interesting.
Now, as far as a H/G go, I'd love to see a nice attraction. In fact, I would like to see a nice, big attraction. (I know I'm years late but you asked).Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
As for H/G, it seems I didn't really make myself clear. I'm not suddenly going to turn it into a romance-y kind of fic. All I meant, was is there enough H/G relationship-py-ness in the story for it to be classified as one, or not. I would say not, but it was suggested to me there was.
Or at least, put it this way - they aren't going to be going out with each other, regardless of any feelings they have. Report Review
Brilliant chapter. I absolutely adore the story in story. I hope I don't have to wait to read more about it. In some aspects it is more exciting than real story. LOL. Paintball. Who knew?
Just a thought that came to me as I was reading. I am pretty irritated that Harry doesn't seem to give 2 s* that Hedwig amy be lying somewhere hurt. So much for being a good friend to basically the only friend Harry had on Privet Drive.With that said,Author's Response: :) Glad you like the diary. It was a nice experiment in creating characters, actually. I quite liked the idea of the paintball - especially as there was a purpose for it. (In case it wasn't obvious, Ron had NOT forgotten that Dean and Seamus played paintball - Harry was just a little slow on the uptake. :))
As for Harry and Hedwig. Would you believe that I didn't want to have Harry mentioning Hedwig all the time because I didn't want to have him coming across as moping? He is worried about her, and I think it is mentioned in later chapters just to make clear, don't worry. Report Review
As I have written before, this is a great story. Sometimes a little draggy (is that a word?) but great story.Author's Response: Thank you! :) I find it a tricky process to slow the story down enough to give breaks between the action, and relate things that need to be related, and not go too far the other way. I hope I've got better at it the more I've written. Report Review
I wish this magic thing could be fully explained. Harry can do accidental, wordless, wandless magic. Buy how? Is he that powerful or is something more behind this? Everytime I think I know, something else comes up.Author's Response: I suspect you are reading into it too deeply!
The fact he is doing this magic actually has nothing to do with his magical power. Probably the most important explanation about it was given by Aravenne, when he talks about how wizards use magic in his first wandless magic session with Harry. Witches and Wizards have learned to tame their powers, but before they were able to do that, it was all unconsciously done, a bit like Harry is doing now. Essentially, because he's struggling with his emotions, his subconscious is doing things automatically.
Another way to look at it, is look how witches and wizard show their powers as kids. Harry apparated to the top of a building, Neville bounced when dropped from a window. It's a similar kind of thing. Report Review
What the heck happened? What did I miss? How was Harry left outside alone for so long?Author's Response: He was holding the fort whilst everyone else got back inside (they were needed to help Ginny and the two strangers, and so weren't with Harry). They were then trapped inside by Death Eater charms whilst Harry was outside.
Hmm... maybe I didn't make that clear enough. I may have to revise it. (Although such revisions would have to wait until the story is fully uploaded, as they need approving, like the chapters do.) Report Review
I guess that was a great Quiddich game. As for myself, it felt too long and drawn out. Someone (Hermione...or Ginny) should smack the living daylights out Cho.Author's Response: That's always the danger with Quidditch matches, I guess. Especially, in this case, as I wanted certain things to happen in it that weren't directly related to the match itself. There's also the problem that the Snitch is worth so many points that you need quite a bit of match storytelling to get to the end point I wished. It's the kind of thing - I suppose - that I might go through some time and see if I can tighten it up a bit.
As for Cho... ;) Report Review
Good chapter although I like reading about the Order, Professor Aravenne and Harry learning about advanced magic.Author's Response: Cheers. I take it by that you weren't so keen on this as some of the others? ;)
As memory serves this was of necessity a bit of a slower chapter, especially considering some of the more action filled chapters coming up, so that might be why. (I like to vary the pace, as otherwise I find it can get a bit monotonous, or else there's an overload of action.)
In that Aravenne is pretty much my own work, I'm chuffed that people like his character. Report Review
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