wow thats cute!
please tell wen u update please
miss_lee Report Review
great i think that that was the begining of a new friendshipAuthor's Response: i think so too :) Report Review
do you have a mailing list for your story? if so, i would like to be added. im giving you my email just in case. great job so far. firstname.lastname@example.orgAuthor's Response: i don't sorry.... Report Review
ok, now im really curious. is jasmine angry at them, or their parents? i cant wait to find outAuthor's Response: :) Report Review
All I have to say is "Intersting". i am really enjoying this story
Author's Response: thankyou Report Review
i hope you explain further why he wants to kill them. tie up that loose end. this is getting good. and the flashbacks is a great idea. so you get the history, but without it being boring. nice workAuthor's Response: it'll be explained in upcoming chapters. thanks for the review! Report Review
i have been steadily finding grammar mistakes, but they are minor. your beta should be catching these, and if they are not, you may need to look for a new beta. keep up the good workAuthor's Response: i don't have a beta so the mistakes are mine. :( Report Review
This chapter, I feel, is better than the last. It makes more sense. But they were both good. Can't wait to read the rest of the story.Author's Response: thanks Report Review
Interesting to say the least. I am already hooked :)Author's Response: cool hooked! Report Review
ooohhh! id forgotten about this story... but i looked back briefly and now i remember!! and great chapter btw, it was short, but well written, and i enjoyed readin it! i dont trust jasmine to keep that secret though!! anyways, looking forward to more! update soon!!!
Rose :)Author's Response: thankyou hun, i'll really try and update soon :( Report Review
aww..thats sweet...but damn jasmine took foreva 2 say she wudnt tell anyone...update sooN!!!Author's Response: thanks...i'll try! Report Review
this is so good!
and if that doesn't motivate you then nothing will...Author's Response: thanks Report Review
can't wait to see wuts up next! =)Author's Response: thanks! i'm sorry for the wait... Report Review
i so love it!!!Author's Response: thanks :) Report Review
Ahaha..Loving It So Far!
That Jasmine Is Very Mischievious :)
Cant Wait For More Chapters.Author's Response: she is isn't she! thanks for the review! *hugs* Report Review
wait i thought that jasmine and diana were friends...im confused..does jasmine 8 diana now or something??? update soon!!!Author's Response: they are kinda, but they more or less just tolerate each other. Jasmine just want's to know that's all, she want's to make sure her brother is ok.
i'll try and update soon, but it still might be a few weeks!
thanks for the review! Report Review
please please update soon!! its getting really realy good!!Author's Response: wahoo! :p Report Review
Uh-oh! Jasmine's going to tell on them isn't she?! Well I wish them well of their parents wrath! And plerase update soon!Author's Response: *snicker* you'll just have to wait and see. Next chapter will proberbly be a little longer, i have alot to do! Report Review
update soon Author's Response: thanks Report Review
This was a bit rushed; you need more description in here!
How are they behaving when alone with each other, what mannerisms are on display? What facial expressions? What are they feeling?
Why is the indifferent Jasmine being so different? Why throw a spanner in the works.
I need more background than you are providing the reader with! I'll be back in a week to see if you've made any alterations - please, be part of my favourites list because of the story, not becaue of me wanting to check on it's quality and missing links! please.Author's Response: thanks for that, after reading again i did notice a few things that i could have added to make it more descriptive!
i've added more so hopefully it's more descriptive now, i've also included more on jasmine, and why is she so different? she just wan't to find out what's going on!
i hope this story stays on your fav's hun...but well, there's nothing else i can really do about that if you choose not to can i? *shrugs*
Thanks for all your really helpful and useful reviews, they were good! *hugs* Report Review
Why did they let him leave St. Mungos without healing him? You need to add more information into that.
The homophones are back:
hear = in reference to hearing/listening
here = location
your = possession/ownership
you're = you are
Why take a pregnant woman to Azkaban, surely the possibility of someone escaping would be enough of an offput to Draco! And why stress his wife so much by taking her to see Lucius? Causing her to panic like that isn't very clever.
Draco, despite his siding with the Order, still respected his father. He would not hear of having a child without first telling Lucius of the heir to the Malfoy fortune. This doesn't justify putting his wife and unborn child under the possibility of so much danger and in so much stress; you need a better reason than this!
Oh, and Azkaban has a Z in it.
You need more plot bckground, more explination more information!Author's Response: they didn't heal him completely but there was nothing more they could do!
thanks for the homophones, hopefully i got them all! ;p
ok i've changed that slightly, he took her too Azkaban because he wanted lucius to know he was going to be a father.
thanks for the review! Report Review
Why didn't they levitate him up the stairs? Surely carrying him was redundant with Hermione's knowledge of spells?
To and Too (look out for them, again).
Its nice to see the teens getting on, do we have another 'Lilly/James' on our hands.
I've put you on my favourites list to see if you are taking note of my reviews, improve the Enlgish and you'll be on that list because of the plot, not because I'm keeping an eye on your writing.Author's Response: they didn't levitate him up because they didn't want to risk him getting hurt again, sorry again...i thought that was obvious...obviously not! ;p i've added that info now....
Wow fav's! thankyou! and yes, i am taking note of your reviews! i always do actually, if you keep reading i hope you continue to give me reviews like this, they are great!
again thanks for the helpfull review! *hugs* Report Review
I was a little confused as to which Mrs. Weasley you were talking about, you cold do to say it was Molly or the Elder Mrs. Weasley. With so many sons (and probably wives to match) ther'd be a lot of them.
I'm a little puzzled by the 'God' reference - surely Merlin would be more appropriate in the magical world?
The plot was good and had a paniced feel to it - good plot device.Author's Response: ok one Ginny is actually Mrs Potter! ;p, but i understood you're suggestion and added Molly, just to make it clear!
I'm embarrased about that actually, it's something i say and i guess i just slipped it in *blush* i've changed that too!
and thanks. i'm really glad you like this plot actually, i've tried really hard to make it original, if only my spelling could get better! *sigh*
thanks for the review! Report Review
My first comment refers to the title of your previous chapter. Day's does NOT need an apostrophe - it is not the owner of anything in this context. it should say DAYS.
I wasn't aware you could apperate to Azkaban - was that rule lifted when the dementors fled? (more background needed).
The prisoners have wands? Surely that is utter suicide for the guards! (more background needed here! How has Lucius come across his wand and the information about Draco, I can't imagine them having a convrersation).
You need to think this through more and add more background; the plot is starting to slip as little details go by unexplained. Author's Response: no the prisioners don't have wands! that would be suicide! Lucius stole Draco's wand!...i guess i didn't explain that well.
I've fixed it up and added the reason for how they got out of the cells and the reason for the apparations.
thanks for the review, they have all been really helpful! Report Review
What happened to the Manor? Why the muggle technology? (how is the muggle technology powered? Does Draco have electricity?). Does this mean he shops at the muggle supermarket to buy microwave meals - i can't see diagon alley selling them.
This chapter nees more explination, Draco's no muggle, and him using the technology is rather strange.Author's Response: ok i've added a bit more info into that, sorry... thanks for that though. after reading over it again it did sound a little wierd thanks! *hugs* Report Review
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