Reading Reviews for Written in the Stars
25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by liveandletdie Written in the Stars

14th August 2007:
that was a very interesting story and one of the few really good lily snape ones i have read. loved it. great job!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I wrote it before DH, so it's very outdated---but I'm glad you were still able to enjoy it!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #2, by Emaline Written in the Stars

31st July 2007:
i thought it was pretty good but it was a bit rushed it had no middle just a begining and a ending. Try to work on devoloping the middle a bit more. Good luck on your future stories.

Author's Response: Well, thanks for being honest! I really don't think of things in terms "beginnings, middles, and endings", so...*shrug* Perhaps I should? Likely, I won't, because I'm not writing as much fanfic anymore, but thanks for the CC.

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Review #3, by jenniiiiii Written in the Stars

27th June 2007:
Just a couple of things before I start throwing praise at you. :D

'But none of the why’s mattered now...' I think that should be whys, right? Looks weird, but it's the plural, not possessive.

'It had been the ball that was the responsibility for it.' That's not quite right. I suggest 'the ball that was responsible for it'.

Right, onto the praise! I really, really liked this. I don't know, it wasn't even that I ship Lily/Severus (although I like it). It was more the whole feeling that Lily was trying to rebel against what she, and everyone else, knows deep down is fate.

There had to be something more interesting out there than going with the man everyone expected her to end up with. I love that line, it pretty much sums up this fic for me. She wants something unexpected, something unpredictable, and for a while she has it with Severus. He gives her that ring, demonstrating how much he has come to care for her, and...what? This fic makes me wish that Lily had stayed with Severus.

It's really clever to have that recurring idea that her relationship with James is inevitable - because of course we all know that it is. She DOES end up with him, not Severus. We didn't really get to know Severus but...I think that's good, in a way. It's one of the many things that made Snape the way he is as an adult - that Lily broke up with him for James - and so it's kind of accurate that Severus is almost brushed over in this fic. Well, not brushed over, but...sort of unimportant. Just the guy that Lily uses to rebel.

Hey, I rambled again! Basically I really liked this one too. Maybe not quite as realistic, but you made me think it was whilst I was reading, and that's what's important! Nice job again, Mara!

Author's Response: Thanks for commenting on those sentences! The whole story had a kind of bumpy path, since I wrote it late one school night and although I had it beta'd later, I shall definitely try to change it asap. Thanks for pointing them out! =D

Another lovely, lovely review! Where to start? I'm so glad you were able to enjoy this, even though you don't ship Lily/Snape! (and I don't quite, either...I just ship the idea that Snape was in loved with her!!!). Right, where to start...I'm glad you liked that line!!! I think you're right, it does say a lot about the fic, though it actually wrote itself and the line was in no way intentional, late one night! :-)

I think what touched me the most about this review is that you actually didn't mind my lack of developing Snape--and, I really think you're right. Snape was someone for Lily to use, not actually important to her. Just a snogging partner...nothing else. And since this is from Lily's Pov, not his, you don't get to see that he really liked her. =( I could see Snape being love with Lily canonly, but you're right, I don't think this really happened--but heck, as I know you agree, that's what fanfiction is all about!!! ^_^

I'm so glad you enjoyed this!!! Feel free to ramble...I like listening!!!

Thanks again!!!


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Review #4, by Potterholic Written in the Stars

28th May 2007:
You know, I never really like Severus/Lily, but I love how you characterized Severus and how their relationship began. There had to be something more interesting out there than going with the man everyone expected her to end up with. There just had to be. That was my favourite line, because I could relate to that feeling. I also love how James walked in on Lily and Severus kissing. At that moment, I felt really bad for all three of them, for all the different reasons. James because he must’ve felt like Lily was playing with him. Severus because he must’ve really loved Lily to give her that ring(the ring sounds beautiful too!). And Lily because she seemed like she cared for Severus, but she loved James as well. Love the ending too! Great job, Mara!

Author's Response: Priscilla, I don't even know what to say!!! I'll let you in on a little secret; the reason it often takes me a while to respond to your reviews is not because I don't have time, but because they make me feel so nice and warm inside that I like keeping them for a while, instead of sending them off immediately, where they are harder to get to.

I'm so, so, SO thrilled you enjoyed this!!! It was a little one-shot that wrote itself right after I read the Valentine's challenge, and I'm just ecstatic that so many non-Severus/Lily shippers could enjoy this. It also had a bumpy road--I wrote it late on a school night, so it had plenty of grammar errors at first, and while you are looking at the beta'd version now, I'm still quite happy you were able to enjoy it! Most of all, I'm so happy I was able to make you emphasize with the characters and characterized Snape well-he is SO hard to do!!!

I want to give you a big huggle glomp for the review, but mostly, I'm thrilled you enjoyed it!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Thanks yet again...

~Mara, :-)

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Review #5, by Diandra Written in the Stars

19th April 2007:
I suppose that it was good, but I don't really understand. I mean, if Lily and Severus were getting along so well, why did she have to go and blow it? I'm a Lily/Snape shipper so I guess that I'm just a little bit disappointed. Good story anyhow.


Author's Response: Although I like non-canon ships from time-to-time (I'm not saying this isn't canon, btw-I'm just saying it hasn't been proved to be canon just yet), one of the things that really bugs me is when authors make things uncanon, just to get a ship they want to work. We all know that James/Lily eventually happens, and I wanted to stay true to that; also, I believe that his unsuccessful crush on Lily caused Snape to do a lot of the things he did in the books, such as coming back to the "good" side, hating Harry, etc. For those things to happen, the story had to have a sad ending (not to mention, that was the whole point of the challenge-to create a sad, Valentine's Day story!). Furthermore, though they were "getting along so well" to quote your words, Lily saw Snape as a friend, a bit of physical relief, so it were, and most importantly of all, a way to make James jealous. She saw Snape as a friend, and was also stubbornly trying to deny the future she knew she had with James, whereas it was Snape who saw it as more. Sorry that wasn't clear-this story is quite different, really! With that being sad, however, I'm sorry that I disappointed you, which I can understand from a Lily/Snape Pov. Thanks for telling me your opinion though, and I hope I cleared that up for you-I'm glad you were able to still enjoy it, if only a little bit! ;-)

Thanks again for the review!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #6, by Kleio Written in the Stars

12th April 2007:
I really loved the way you portrait Snape!!

Author's Response: Thank you! He's a difficult character to get down, so I'm glad you think I did a good job-and thanks for the r&r, as always! :D

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Review #7, by inkismyworld Written in the Stars

11th April 2007:
I really liked it. My favorite part of this story was the way you portrayed Snape and Lily's relationship, mysterious but with the right amount of romance and drama. good job.-iimw

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yes, I liked that part too-thanks for the r&r and most of all, I'm happy you enjoyed!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #8, by katekarson Written in the Stars

10th April 2007:
This is so well-written, and lovely, but at the end I found myself wishing there was so much more. You're such a talented writer!

Author's Response: Why, thank you! Your comment means a lot to me and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sorry it wasn't longer-I hope it inspires you to imagine for yourself what might happen next! =)

Thanks again!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #9, by siriusly_strawberry Written in the Stars

13th March 2007:

I like it

Fun and Kisses

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I agree-it is very interesting! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

Thanks for the r&r!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

(like your penname!)

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Review #10, by The New Marauders Written in the Stars

5th March 2007:
This is one review that you may not want to read -- ever read.

I must admit you have something of a 'William Shatner' voice, your reader's eyes literally stop for your ten thousand dramatic pauses

Quite epic... if not entirely implausible... that two such bitter enemies can come together and find true love... that lasts for a short undetermined amount of time.

"Then Snape did something even more surprising. He held out his arm. “Okay,” he said softly, but for some reason, Lily had a feeling he had other intentions in mind besides making James jealous. “I’m ready.”"
-- sexual innuendo if I ever heard one.

True love at sixteen... always a classic...

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review/give me your thoughts! As you can see, I did read you review, since everyone has their own opinion, and that's the way it should be. :-)

I'm not really that familiar with William Shatner, so I can't say anything about that. I suppose it might not be totally believable, but I probably won't change it. I have to admit I agree a little with you there, though nothing like that does happen between Lily and Snape-however, the way I worded the story did make me wonder what rating and warnings I should give it, but apparently the validators were fine with this one.

I'm pretty sure they were actually seventeen, but that's not really important. The Lily/James thing is the way it was written in the books-I like to think Lily moved on, after Snape (though she wasn't involved in their relationship as much, she was just with him to spite James), but he didn't, which caused him to do many of the things he's known for. Because he was (still) in love with Lily, but you can wait to hear me ramble about my thoughts of this later, right? ;-)

Anyway, thanks for giving me your thoughts! It's always appreciated.

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #11, by Padfoot1228 Written in the Stars

24th February 2007:
WOW i really love it but i feel sorry for Snape more than James
Snape had the girl but then she was taken away from him by no one other than James Potter

Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked it so much! The same-I feel sorrier for Snape as well! After all, it would be so humiliating for him to have "his" girl taken by none other than his worst enemy. The reason I support Snape/Lily is because I think not getting Lily made Snape react in some of the ways he did, before the books took place. I'm hoping JKR will make it a canon ship-but even if she doesn't, I'm still supporting it!

Thanks so much for taking the time to r&r! I love your penname-Padfoot=awesome! ;-)

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #12, by al3x Written in the Stars

21st February 2007:
Aww this was brilliant =]..ive never read a Lily/Snape one before ^_^

Author's Response: Really? I've probably only read a few. I'm glad you enjoyed the introduction then! It means a lot. :D

Thanks for taking the time to review!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #13, by lilyevansrox Written in the Stars

13th February 2007:
that was amazing. wow!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad people were able to enjoy this and thanks for taking the time to leave a review. :-)

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Review #14, by Cocoalily Written in the Stars

12th February 2007:
You awesome, awessome, person. I loved this fic so much. Normally Snape/Lily is a forbidden topic for me due to the fact that I'm a huge Lily/James shipper, but you changed my opinion that all Snape/Lily's are bad, which they aren't. 9/10, hun. You deserve a big hug!

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much! I'm thrilled that I've changed your opinion so much-I have lots of reasons to support why I believe Snape was secretly in love with Lily, but I didn't have enough time to go into them in this fic, and believe me, I'm a James/Lily shipper too (who isn't?). Thanks so much for telling me how you felt-YOU are an wesome person who deserves a big hug! ;-)

Thanks for reading!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #15, by Starlight Sprite Written in the Stars

12th February 2007:
I quite enjoyed it. It was very depressing. I actually feel bad for Snape. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I got you to feel bad for Snape.

Thanks for taking the time to r&r!

-Mara, :-)

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Review #16, by Ever Lasting Nightmare Written in the Stars

11th February 2007:
My favourite part was her saying no and choosing her own fate. The description for the ball was not overly detailed, but enough so that you had a picture in your mind, but still let your mind roam. This was written well and I liked the comments about a muggle movie. Although it was a one-shot I felt it had depth and emotion. Another thing I liked about this story was the unqiueness of the pairing. This was a good and different read. Nicely done.

Author's Response: Awww...thank you! Although I'm going to apply in the edited changes I had to make for this fic, I'm glad it still stood without the edits. :-) I liked that part, too-I wanted to make a realistic Snape/Lily, since though I believe Snape has had feelings for her, I needed to come up with a way to get Lily to go with him. Do you think I should have added more detail in the ball scene? Ah, well, I'm just glad you liked the picture in your mind! I wanted to make that comparison, but I knew it had to mention the fact that it was "muggle", since although Lily is muggleborn, her life lies in the Wizarding World now. "A good and different read"...thank you, that really means a lot! :D

Thanks for taking the time to r&r! I really appreciate it and I like your penname too, by the way. Really glad you enjoyed!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #17, by Daughter of Aphrodite Written in the Stars

11th February 2007:

It was more exciting to choose her own fate than to give in to what everyone else expected would happen, anyway.

The way many people arrange their Lily/James stories is that James is a camera hog and everything does end up revolving around him. He is impossibly stubborn and he says incredibly stupid things. Lily is just as immature in feelings and no activity of her head duties are ever mentioned.

You did a great job in characterizing Lily. Her feelings are properly mature and her choices are very real. Does she give into what she believes is meant to happen, but she doesn't want because it is meant to be, or does she try to break the force of destiny by misleading herself?

James was lovable. Not the omg-i-say-cute-things lovable, but the i'm-real lovable. He wasn't modest, but he wasn't pompous either. He was a real man.

No one really knows who Snape was at eighteen years old. This was a great opportunity to expand on his younger characters, but his character depth was shallow and we couldn't explore anymore of him. I would have liked it if Lily and Severus's interactions and conversations went deeper to see more of Snape and Lily.

Lovely fic. A good read. Thank you.

x, Daughter of Aphrodite

Author's Response: Wow...AWESOME REVIEW!!! I'm just about to apply the edited changes to this fic, but I can't tell you how pleased I am that people were still able to enjoy this without the edits.

First of all, I'm glad you liked my characterizations. I don't really write Marauders era very often, so I'm glad you think I did them well. Do people really not mention Lily's activity of head duties? That is really weird; I'll definitely have to watch out for that in the next Marauders fics I read!

Hmm-your Lily question. I would have to say it's more that she's trying to break the force of destiny by misleading herself. She's sick of being told that James and she are perfect for each other, and she wants to rebel against the force of destiny, yes. That's my take, but if you have a different one, that is equally right too!

I'm glad you liked the way I characterized James. I too get annoyed in Lily/James stories where he's a constant camera hog-it's true that he was rather self-centered I believe in his younger years, but I'm sure he really gets more mature in his seventh year, so I'm glad you thought he was lovable.

Snape-perhaps I should have made him deeper, but quite honestly, there was only a limited ways I could do that, especially in Lily's POV, and I see him quieter as a teenager. I think Snape and Lily did have their intellectual moments, and though it would be fun to expand on them, I'm not sure how I would do it in the writing style I used for this. My novel, "Lost and Found", will have more Snape/Lily hints, at least later on, so I'm really hoping to explore that more there. I'll keep your comments in mind when I'm writing him next, so thanks for the advice. :-)

Again, thank you for your review, and I really enjoyed how you gave me feedback about my characterizations, since as I said earlier, the Marauders era is fairly new to me (at least as far as writing it goes). No, thank YOU for the read and review-it really means a lot that you took the time.

Thanks again!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #18, by the_zerbiac Written in the Stars

6th February 2007:
wow. at first i wanted to barf at the thought of lily and snape... *twitches* its not normally a topic i enjoy reading. but this one, this one was actually amazing. i loved it. nice job, Anony Moose!

Author's Response: I'm really glad you enjoyed the fic, even though you were so reluctant about it at first! That's definitely a great compliment. I have my own theories on why Snape might have had feelings for Lily, but I only put them actually together for this challenge. I'm really, really glad you liked it! It really does mean a lot.

Thanks for the r&r!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #19, by alisonlynn Written in the Stars

6th February 2007:
Sorry about it taking so long to review, my dad came and took over the computer, and I haven't had a chance since. Great fic! I don't really like the Snape/Lily ship, but I guess it makes sense. Explains why Snape hates James anyway. Come to think of it, has Snape ever insulted Lily in the books? Anyway, excellent story!

Author's Response: That's okay! Sadly, just as you end the review, my 4th chapter appears-but that's okay! Yes, the only reason I like the Snape/Lily ship is that I think it does explain why Snape hates James and everything. Snape called Lily a mudblood once, but I almost think that was to cover up. Anyway, thanks for coming and I'm glad you enjoyed! The beta-ed version will be here ASAP.

Thanks again!

-Anony_Mouse, :-)

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Review #20, by AndrinaBlack Written in the Stars

6th February 2007:
I liked this, even though I usually don't like Snape/Lily in principle. I liked the way you made it sound believable and even got James/Lily in it. And I like it when Lily is starting to give in to James, but she just can't accept it because she is stubborn. (And you know about the small mistakes in it, so that's no problem)
:-) Andrina

Author's Response: I don't usually like Snape/Lily either, but I've always thought Snape had a thing for Lily, and I used them because I needed a forbidden pair for the challenge. Yes, I wanted really badly for it to still be believable, so I'm glad you like the James/Lily part! My beta is working on it right now, so the edited version should be up soon.

Thanks for taking the time to r&r, Andrina!

-Mara, :-)

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Review #21, by AloneintheDark Written in the Stars

4th February 2007:
wow. well, you were certainly right, it is depressing. Im no snape/lily shipper, but, though you KNEW it had grammar mistakes, it was beautifully written. You did an excellent job characterizing Lily and Snape, epecially for your first marauders fic. You should be quie prud of it, good job. -anjii 10.10 for the plot

Author's Response: I think I'm going to ask you to beta this when you have more time, because the grammar mistakes have been annoying me!!! I was really in a rush to get this out. Anyway, apart from that, I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I was really worried about making Snape and Lily OOC, so I'm glad you think they weren't. I'm not normally a Lily/Snape shipper-I just think that Snape had hidden feelings for her, and I only put them together in this fic so the challenge worked. Also, I really wanted to make it canon, so that's why I put a little bit of Lily/James in there. Anyway, glad you liked it! I'll PM you if I want it beta-ed.

Thanks for r&ring! Glad you enjoyed.

-Mara, :-)

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Review #22, by GinnyWeasleyPotter Written in the Stars

4th February 2007:
You know that I'll read any fic of yours, no matter who's in it. But shhh- I'm supposed to writing an essay instead of reading your fic, don't tell my parents! j/k. Oh, this was really sweet, Mara, and sad too. Yes, there were some spelling and grammar mistakes, but they didn't ruin the story. Very well thought out, I liked it. Poor Lily, I feel bad for the girl *hugs Lily like she hugged Hagrid* It seemed just a tad bit rushed at the end. Your descriptions were nice and everything flowed pretty smoothly. Great job!!!
Actually yes, my friends do call me Lau, but like "ow" with an L. It's really weird. They also call me Laur and one of my friends calls me Laru, the other Launess. They're really weird. Oooh, and btw, it's okay, don't be ashamed about not having read one of my fics, it's perfectly fine!

Author's Response: I'll be quiet (teehee). I think you're the second person who's reading HPFF when they should be doing hw (*tries not to think of the hw that I should be doing eventually*)

I think I'll get this beta-ed; evil spell check! I just think this can be better, though I'm glad you still enjoyed it! I agree that it was rushed at the end a little; I stayed up really late writing this, so that I was anxious to get it down, and I didn't want to be caught (YOU don't tell my parents that! Teehee). After it's beta-ed (and yea, immediate changes with TA status!), I'm sure it will be a lot better, but it's nice to know it's still good, even without the changes.

*Huggles back in thanks for the awesome r&r*

-Mara, :-)

Laru-I like that! ;-)

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Review #23, by lolhee Written in the Stars

4th February 2007:
I loved this so much the detail that you had made every little word come alive, and I really did enjoy this. I thought that it was cute because Valentine's day is just around the corner, and it really brightened the mood.

I loved it


Author's Response: Brightened the mood? Teehee!!! I think I'll get this beta-ed, but I'm glad you still enjoyed it and the detail. Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and since I wanted to write a Valentine's fic, I knew I had to take this challenge!

Thanks for the review!!! I'm really glad you enjoyed. :-)

-Anony_Mouse, ;-)

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Review #24, by Cornie Written in the Stars

4th February 2007:
Beautifully Written. Truly. I'm a Sev/Lily shipper (well, I think something happened between...something secret of course) and this would fit so perfectly in canon!

Just loverly.


Author's Response: Thanks, really glad you enjoyed! I agree that something secre happened between them, just because it makes sense with Snape's feelings in so many ways. One of my goals was to make it canon, because I still wanted it to work, even though some might argue it's an "uncanon" ship, so I'm really glad you thought it worked out! I got your PM too, by the way-thank Alohomora for the pictures she provided and I am with you-I'm a Snape/Lily shipper as well as James/Lily one!

Thanks for r&ring-glad you enjoyed!

-Mara (Anony_Mouse), :-)

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Review #25, by Obsession Written in the Stars

3rd February 2007:
That was a really good read! I like the way you portrayed Snape, and showed a softer side of him.

Author's Response: Thank you! Since it was written for your challenge, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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