Wow, this is really touching. Sirius is my favourite character and I thought that this would be a story about Hermione and Sirius, but it isn't really. I loved it, I can imagine him sticking up for Harry like he did at the end. well done! Report Review
Interesting idea. Well written. =]Author's Response: TYVM Neverfall:) Report Review
Ok well you said you wanted honest so here goes.I think that it is a good concept for a story, very original. I like your style that you use and the descriptions. I think that it feels much to stiff though. There is very little emotion in it. I think that you want the reader to feel the pain and anger that is being poured into the letter and it gets lost in the formality. Also I think that it runs too long (I know you never hear about a fanfiction being too long) I think that if it was shorter and more consise it would flow better. All the stuff about Harry and Hermione was unclear and left the reader focused on what was going on with them instead of what Sirius was trying to say. I think you said that you were considering turning this into a longer story which I think would work better. Write the letter so that it is hinting towards events and then use your other chapters to go into more detail. Having said all that I must say that I loved the sections on Sirius' escape from the veil. Those paragraphs were very well written and they drew the reader in. Anyway I hoped this helped and I just wanted to let you know that if you have any questions about my review you can PM me and I will do my best to help explain. Like I said before it is a wonderful idea and I can't wait to see where you take it.Author's Response: I did intend for it to be somewhat stiff, because he is addressing people he doesn't really care about. I was hoping to get his emotions across while maintaining distance... if that makes any sense. I will have to examine it more closely now, thanks for pointing that out to me.
I think I'm too long winded to do anything too short...lol. I may have to redo this and shorten it some, because I think you are right about that part of it.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it overall, and thanks so much for your review:) Report Review
This is very interesting. I like how original the idea is.
I don't care too much for Sirius. I understand that everyone the letter was meant to be read by deserved it, but my favorite part of Sirius is his ability to stay somewhat happy, even in the worst of times.
Very nice.Author's Response: That is actually a good thing, because it was meant to be this way. He wouldn't show that side of himself to everyone else. Once it gets put into story format, you will definitely see the happier side of him, towards those he loves and cares deeply for.
Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed some of it:) Report Review
Wow, that certainly was bitter! Haha, but nothing the recipient of the letter doesn't deserve. I'm so glad that Sirius came back to life, but it was not in the way I hoped it was (the light, fluffy way), but rather in a more realistic and harsh manner. However, I did think Sirius' acceptance of his mistake was a little out of character. From what I, as a reader, know of Sirius, that mistake and the corresponding guilt is something he will always have to live with, as much as we want that burden lifted off of him. This story also gave me the chance to hate Bellatrix even more for hurting Harry like that. The spell was so cruel, but it fitted her perfectly . . . good job with that. Overall, this was a very well written piece. It was not light and fluffy like the usual stuff I read, but very solemn and . . . not heartwrenching, but deep? I can't really find the words to describe it, that's how good it is. Great job, and I hope you keep writing!Author's Response: Don't worry, once it goes into story mode, it won't seem so horrible. This is only 1 of thousands of ideas I have had about him coming back, and one day I may write them all up...lol. I am obsessed with the idea of him coming back:)
I am SHOCKED that you were the first person to comment on his acceptance of his mistakes. THANK GOODNESS you pay attention!! If you decide to read the story I turn this into, I want you to watch for that bit in the story. Yes, he told the world he forgave himself, but trust me, he has far from reached that bit of peace in his own mind. Kudos for catching that, you are the first!
I think you are the first that really saw exactly what I was trying to get across, and your summary at the end proves that. I am so glad you reviewed it, TY TY!! Report Review
Wow. Brilliantly dark, and very well written. It sounds almost exactly like Sirius--straight to the point and, regarding the circumstances, appropriately sombre. I would have said that he needs to be a bit more lighthearted, seeing as Sirius seems like one to joke, but considering the subject matter of his letter, the tone is fine. Great and unique portrayal to a different side of Sirius--I would definitely recommend this. Thank you for the great story! :)Author's Response: :::waves frantically::: hey Hermione!!! I know you! LOL
You hit the nail on the head about the tone. He was writing to a bunch of morons, so he wasn't nearly as much of a jokester as usual with them. If I end up making this into a novel length fic as I was planning before, you will get to see a lighter side of him. While he is angry with the way people are acting, he won't be taking it out on those closest to him. Report Review
This was pretty good! You left us with quite the cliffy about Harry though! I liked the POV. I've always liked stories that are told in the fashion of a story. If that makes any sense. No dialogue, but action. A retelling of events. Good job!Author's Response: Hi Serenity, thank you so much:) This was one of those stories that was made to be told, it was driving me crazy until I got it typed out.
If you are interested in what happened to Harry, you might find out sometime this year. I was planning to write a story based on this one shot. I am still debating on whether or not to write one though... I didn't get nearly the feedback I was expecting... or hoping for I guess.
So glad you enjoyed it:) Report Review
Excellent story/letter. 10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much! As of now, I have had 84 reads on that one, and not nearly enough reviews on it. Because it is so short, and doesn't continue, I have no idea if people love it or hate it, so I really appreciate the review! Report Review
hey could u make this into a story by any chance cause it sounds like an interesting story and u seem like a good writer so PLeAsE wRiTE mOreAuthor's Response: I actually have that planned next, but I want to finish "Trapped in Time" first. I am so afraid that if I don't finish it now, I never will. Don't worry, that story is next:) Lately it has been on my mind so much, I am starting to dream about it every other night. I am so glad you enjoyed this:) Report Review
wow...i really liked it.
it's very thoughtful and well written!
10/10 =)Author's Response: SWEEEET! I am so glad you liked it! I LOVED writing this one. I love the idea of Sirius just saying "Ok, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Time to set the record STRAIGHT!".
Can ya tell that Sirius is my favorite guys? Hehehehe Report Review
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