Reading Reviews for Stains
  
36 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ann Ravenwood Stains

31st December 2009:
You've drawn out a scene of the sort of atrocity I've long suspected Snape had to deal with, although the canon would never have been able to tell it.

 Report Review

Review #2, by snapeangel Stains

28th May 2009:
wow brilliant, JK should have put stuff like this in the books..but then they would probably not still be listed as they are, but I think it is needed, to help show the man SS is

Author's Response: Hi again snapeangel !
I'm so happy you had a chance to read my other little SS stories. It's always great to get feedback from a fellow Severus fan!! Thanks so, so much for you're wonderful comment...I'm thrilled you enjoyed this dark & angsty side of Severus...I think it's the only way I know how to write him! lol! I agree with you 100%...it's important to see all sides of a character, as for the books...my only regret was that there could have been more of him!!

Anyway...thanks a million for taking the time to review, I really appreciate it!

Hugs,
~Lai


 Report Review

Review #3, by essenni Stains

6th December 2008:
Hi!
I liked the story! I think you depicted Snape's feelings right. At least I think in the same way. Snape had to go through too much for the grater good.

Author's Response: Hi there essenni!
Thanks very much for taking the time to read & review my little one-shot, I really appreciate it. It means alot when a reader thinks I've got something about Severus Snape right...he is my fav! I agree with you 100%, he did have to go through way too much for the grater good.
Thanks again!
~Lai


 Report Review

Review #4, by RubySky Stains

13th October 2008:
I really liked reading this! It was a very well done chapter.

The writing was overall great. There was no spelling mistakes as far as I could see, and no major grammer mistake. The pace you wrote the story in was also very good - not too fast, but not slow either. So overall you did a great job on the writing part.

Now on to the Snape: you wrote him well, and true to character which can be hard to do sometimes. You didn't make him all soppy and unsnapelike, so that's good because many don't write Snape the way he is.

The lenght was suited for the story, you didn't drag it out, making it boring. So even though the chapter was short, you were right to keep it short.

The very end of the chapter is my favourite part of the whole chapter because it was best written and just a nice ending to the chapter.

I don't have any thing to say about this that I didn't like or thought could use some work on because you did do a great job on this. I'd give it overall 9/10

Author's Response: Hi there RubySky!
Many thanks for coming over from the forums & reviewing my little one-shot...I really appreciate the effort you put into your comments & I'm just very happy that you liked it. I'm especially thrilled that you liked my take on Snape & that you felt he was still in character. He's my fav & comments like that just light up my day!!
I also love that the end of the story is your fav part...I like it too & I enjoyed showing that little bit of defiance against Dumbledore.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it!
Cheers,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #5, by Moondanser83 Stains

12th October 2008:
I've never read a story like this. It is a very interesting look into the mind and life of Severus Snape... I liked it. I only spotted one very minor typo... so good work there.
I really loved that line "But there were other, more hidden stains that would not wash away so easily." It's so true on so many levels... you can never wash away the past..

Good job all around!
~Moon~

Author's Response: Hi there Moondanser83!

Thanks a million for taking the time to read & review this one-shot. It's wonderful to know that you haven't read anything like it before...I was hoping it would be a bit different!
I've re-read this over so many times, I think I've become blind to the errors! LOL! I just can't seem to spot them anymore...so if you wouldn't mind and only if you have some free time could you please, please PM me and let me know what the typo is...thanks very much!!

I'm glad you liked that line, it's one of my favs too!

Thanks again for the feedback & take care,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #6, by marinahill Stains

3rd October 2008:
Oh I loved this!!! It was strikingly original and I honestly can find no fault with it :)

I loved the fact that you set this scene in Snape's personal accompdatuon, of which we know nothing. The process of entering and the descriptions after that set the scene marvellously - without them there would have been something missing.

Snape... He was wonderfully characterised :) Snape isn't a character I easily connect with or particularly understand, but your descriptions of him fitted so well with what I thought of - it's hard to explain, but every word was so fitting, so apt. No faults at all.

The mirror descriptions... It was so good! It was very realistic how Snape couldn't look at himself in the mirror after what happened to that girl (which was excellently written, by the way).

Using the words 'greater good' was a touch of genius. Definitely said in a scathing snape-like way, and it just couldn't have been placed better. My favourite part had to be the last line, "let him try". It sent shivers up my spine, it really did. A wonderful ending to a neat scene :) well done.

Author's Response: Hello there marinahill !
Thanks so much for taking the time to review this, it's very clear that you put alot of thought into your words...I really appreciate that! It's such a big compliment (for me at least) when a reader thinks I got Snape just right & it's even better when they are able to connect with my take on a character that I absolutely love! So many thanks for that also! :)
I loved that you liked the last line...it was my attempt at showing a little bit of Snape's rebellion against & anger towards Dumbledore.

Cheers for the feedback,
Take care,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #7, by BusinessJournal Stains

3rd October 2008:
BusinessJournal here with your request :)

This isn't the sort of story I read very often, only when the mood strikes, but it was extremely well-written. You have an amazing way with words, and your imagery is incredible. You should be proud :) Although the vocab in that first little paragraph could've been toned down a teeensy bit, it was still beautifully written. The only reason I say that is because there may be some readers out there who won't understand some of the words :)

You did a wonderful job of writing Snape's feelings on being a double-agent. I've never read a story about this kind of thing, and I really enjoyed it. You did a good job of keeping Snape in character, which is a very tough feat for his character, I always find. It was lovely that he had such strong feelings toward a little girl. That showed he was a real person. Brill :)

I just found one little spelling mistake:

"...he had cut his knuckles and they bleed freely..."
Perhaps "bleed" should be "bled"?

Anyway, it was lovely, and I thoroughly enjoyed it :) 10/10

BusinessJournal

Author's Response: Hey there BusinessJournal!
Thanks so much for taking the time to review my story, especially when it isn't your usual thing! I'm really happy that you liked it & I completely understand what you mean about the language...sometimes it can get a bit 'flowery' ! lol! but I'm glad you enjoyed it & the imagery none the less.
Thanks also for spotting the mistake, spelling/grammer etc. not my strong point. I'll try to edit it later to fix it!

Thanks again & take care,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #8, by morgaine_dulac Stains

24th March 2008:
You have a wonderful way with words. I enjoyed your story very much. Thank you for sharing. ~Morgaine

Author's Response: Hello there Morgaine!
Thanks very much for taking an interest in the story...I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, not everyone likes 'darker' stories & many, many thanks for the lovely compliment...it means alot!
Cheers,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #9, by true_scandal Stains

24th February 2008:
wow this was really interesting, i liked the way you ended this 10/10

Author's Response: Hi there true scandal!
Thanks very much for taking the time to read this story & leaving such a nice review, I'm glad you found it so interesting & that you liked the ending.
Cheers,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #10, by Girldetective85 Stains

19th February 2008:
First of all, I love your imagery. Very, very nicely written stuff - especially the opening of this story. It really set the mood for the rest of the chapter: ominous and inevitable.

I like that you focused your one-shot on Snape - this could be considered a missing moment, since we never really got to see what it was like being a double agent for Voldemort and Dumbledore. You've shown his dichotomy very nicely - a good guy doing bad deeds, and this is the effect on him. So great job on that; I enjoyed the characterization and the fact that we got to see a small snapshot of the intermingled guilt and self-disgust that Snape probably felt.

I am a grammar tyrant, big-time. I saw quite a few grammar errors throughout the piece, so I would advise getting a beta maybe? Or just going through and proofing it up a bit more. I hope you don't mind me pointing out a few of the bigger ones for you ... there are smaller ones but I honestly don't want to look like a big mean person and fill this review with mistakes. :) :)

"Far below, the ancient castle of Hogwarts slept soundly, blissfully unaware as the cold caressing silver light of the wanning moon was gradually replaced by the golden rays of the waking sun. Rays which would soon warm its majestic masonry by mid-day." (Absolutely beautiful imagery, as I said before ... you've got a great gift for description. My problem with this is "wanning" should be spelled "waning," and also the sentence beginning with "Rays which would soon warm" is not a sentence, but a fragment. I think you could do with putting a comma after "golden rays of the waking sun" and just continue on with that last piece. If it's such a beautiful sentence, no one will care if it's a bit long. :) )

" “Lumos” he growled." (Dialogue should end with a comma or a punctuation mark of some kind like a question mark or an exclamation point. You know that, you've done it beautifully later on in the chapter. :) Just a little mistake I guess)

"He then quickly apparated to a near by forest" (The word "nearby" is one word)

"So many people disappeared each year, never to be seen by loved ones again, what difference would one more name make." (I think this should end with a question mark; also, it's a run-on sentence. So maybe you could do something like: "So many people disappeared each year, never to be seen again by loved ones - what different would one more make?")

So in general, if this were an ice-skating competition, I would give you full marks for artistic presentation and not-so-full marks for technical. You write very beautifully and it's obvious you've got talent - if you just clean it up a bit, your writing will be that much more astronomical.

Great work! :)

Author's Response: Hi there Girldetective85 !

Many thanks for taking the time to read my story & supplying such a wonderfully detailed review...its great!
I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it so much & that you liked the imagery. I enjoy descriptive writing but sometime I have to be careful not to get too 'flowery'!
I'm going to call you my new Grammar Fairy Godmother! lol! Spelling & grammar are admittedly not my strong points, my dictionary is never far from my side when I attempt to write but sadly it can't help me with grammar. I haven't yet inflicted my work on a beta...maybe I should give you're suggestion serious thought.
It's great that you have pointed out the main mistakes, I'll try to edit those a.s.a.p.
If in the future you find you have a few free minutes with absolutley nothing to do...maybe you could PM me all the smaller ones. I've read the fic a few times but I just don't seem to be able to spot the errors myself, due mostly to a lack of 'grammar savvie'!!LOL!

Anyway...many, many thanks for putting in such a great effort with the review, I really appreciate it & thanks also for the lovely compliments.

Cheers,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #11, by Kahlan Stains

17th February 2008:
Oh, wow. This was wonderful. I absuloutely adore your language in this, it's rich and mature, and fits the story perfectly. This really was a lovely little image into Snape's life.

Also, the ending - a very defining flourish to an already well executed character.

Well done ^^

Author's Response: Hi there Kahlan!
Many thanks for dropping over from the forums & reviewing my story & I'm thrilled to bits that you liked it so much.
Such lovely compliments!

Cheers!
~Lai


 Report Review

Review #12, by morgana67 Stains

14th February 2008:
This is wonderfully written. I love the imagery you use at the beginning. I think also that your Severus is really very canon. I love the idea of the stains. Poor Sevvy! You maintain intrigue too. I was wondering about the girl. I thoght of Lily first, of course, I gather you probably put there on purpose to give the reader that impression. However, when her eyes turned brown, I thought, oh well, it wasn't to be. Mind you, you also said she was a Muggle and Severus would have never referred to her as a Muggle, I don't think.

Now, I must say, I don't seem to have got the ending. Sorry for not being too sharp here. Hopefully, you will let me know when you get the internet back.

I really look forward to your other stories too. I don't think I'll be able to do this today, but possibly tomorrow night.

Very enjoyable story and also very angsty.

Author's Response: Hiya morgana!
Hope you're well, it's great that you had the time to read the story & I'm so happy that you liked it & thought it was in character...that means alot!
This story was written before the whole Snape/Lily thing was made very clear & I wasn't one of those writers that gave this 'ship' much thought sooo I have to be totally honest when I say that I it never occured to make the girl a 'possible' Lily...sorry!
As for the ending...sorry if it wasn't very clear, sometimes I get ideas in my head, they're clear to me but not always to everyone else! lol!
Severus is in his room, he's had a few drinks, he's feeling very down & guilty about his latest involvement with the Death eaters. Usually At some stage Dumbledore wilcall to him & try to make him fell better about the whole thing...sacrafices for the greater good & all that. This morning Dumbledore has called earlier than normal...possibly sensing that Severus is more distressed than usual & so he'll try to ease his mind & his guilty feelings. Deep down Severus knows the Head Masters words will have no affect, he may try to ease his guilt but Severus knows it won't really work, so there's a little bit of defiance, bitterness & sadness in that last line. Hope this helps to clear thing up.

Many thanks again for the review ,great to hear from you!

Hugs,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #13, by celestlyn Stains

9th November 2007:
A wonderful look into Snape's true nature. Excellent!

Author's Response: Hi there celestlyn ! Many thanks for your lovely comment, really glad you enjoyed it !!
Cheers!!


 Report Review

Review #14, by Bella_Portia Stains

30th September 2007:
You write, use imagery, very beautifully.

Author's Response: Hi again Bella_Portia ! *waves* Thanks again for reading & reviewing & for the lovely compliment !
Cheers !
~Lai


 Report Review

Review #15, by Aligiah Stains

8th July 2007:
That was brilliant. Severus, although many people believe him to be cold, cruel, and bitter, was only following orders. He couldn't just say no to the Dark Lord, he was watching out for his own life. Hopefully he doesn't get caught in what he did. And it's true that the stains wash away easier then the guilt. Great one-shot. R=10!

Alex

Ps. Thanks for the welcome on the forms! :]

Author's Response: Hi there Alex !
Thanks so much for your lovely review & I'm happy you enjoyed it. I'm hoping he's going to make it right to the end too, I'll be devastated if he's killed off in book seven !
Thanks again,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #16, by Lassy_Luna Stains

4th July 2007:
I really enjoyed this; especially the way that Snape was really battling with his own emotions; there's nothing wrong with a good angst and some people can't pull that off but you really do! I loved the way you opened the story; I almost thought it was going to be taking place as a part of the sixth book but I was so wrong! But, yes-- beautiful way of describing it, almost lustful. I was really reminded of Macbeth for some strange reason. :) Luna

Author's Response: Hey there Lassy Luna ! *waves*

I'm so glad you enjoyed this ! Not everybody likes angst & even fewer seem to like Severus, so I really appreciate it ! Thanks for your comments on the opening scene...sometimes I can get a bit too descriptive *rolls eyes* & as for reminding you of Macbeth ! well what can I say to such a compliment ??!!
Many thanks,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #17, by WannabeWriter Stains

1st July 2007:
That was heart breaking, so chilling that I was cringing while I read it. Great job, dark fics like that are hard to write. I felt so sorry for Snape by the way you managed to protray his character so perfectly.

Author's Response: Hi there WannabeWriter !
That's some pretty fast reviewing ! Thanks very much for taking the time to read this little one-shot & I'm really happy that you seem to have enjoyed it so much...especially the dark aspects of it. I find dark/angsty fics a bit easier to write... now romance, ha! I couldn't write that if my life depended on it !! lol!!
Hugs,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #18, by the_zerbiac Stains

1st July 2007:
I liked this. I thought it would have been a major charactor, perhaps a Trio member, rather than just a random girl. But I like it. It goes to show that Snape is really a good guy and feels bad even tho there were no previous ties to the girl. nicely done.
8/10

Author's Response: Hiya zerb ! thanks for taking the time to review & letting me know what you think, I'm glad you enjoyed it & liked this view of Severus. I'm hoping he really does turn out to be a 'good guy' !!
Cheers,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #19, by elvengirl Stains

18th May 2007:
Wow, really good one-shot.
You reflect Snape very well and the plot was amazing.
I loved to read this, you made a very dark mood.
Which, in my opinion, is very hard to do.

Elvengirl

Author's Response: Hi there Elvengirl !
Thanks sooo much for such a kind review, I'm happy you enjoyed it & especially the 'dark' element!
Cheers,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #20, by pigwidgeon385 Stains

7th May 2007:
Wow - this is really a great story! You're a very talented writer - all the descriptions are wonderful! I enjoyed reading this. :)

Author's Response: Hello again pigwidgeon385 ! Yay you liked another one, thanks very much ! that's a lovely thing to say, I really appreciate it!
Hugs,
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #21, by Broken_Innocence Stains

22nd April 2007:
loved the story, I thought it was a really interesting angle to come from and you deserve ALL the praise you can get. I never thought to look at it like that and the inner monologue was truly amazing...! congrats. *cookie*

Author's Response: Cookie!! Yumma yumma! munch-munch!!
Hi there Broken_Innocence ! Thanks soo much for your generous review AND a cookie too!! lol! Really glad you enjoyed the story & saw something different!
~Hugs
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #22, by awAND4awAND Stains

15th April 2007:
absolutely beautifuly writtten.
i usually dont like snape fic's that arent set in the marauder era.
but you have proven my biast wrong
:D 10/10

Author's Response: Hi there awAND4awAND ! Thanks for dropping by from the forums & reading this little fic ! It's great that you liked it...even more so if it's not the usual thing you go for !! Thanks a million !!
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #23, by fallenstarr Stains

12th April 2007:
I really liked your description of the whole situation. I could see him in his room trying to wash the blood and the beginning where he threw down the mask, absolutely amazing! Your word usage was very diverse and made the whole story more interesting. Your writing style is wonderful. Continue to develope it.

I congratulate you at your ability to write a dark fic where Snape is on the good side. It was one of the first I've read. This is the type of thing that really makes you feel for Severus as a character and what he has to go through. Absolutely magnificent!

Author's Response: Hi there fallenstarr ! thanks very much for coming over from the forums & reviewing my one-shots ! This is a really lovely review, thanks so much & I'm thrilled that you were able to a different side to Severus & 'feel' for him. I know this can be hard as he's not everyone's fav !!
~Hugs
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #24, by harrylilyjames Stains

12th April 2007:
Sorry it took so long to review... I really liked this story, and im not a fan of Snape.
You put in soo much detail, i was mesmerized while i read it... and thats the truth.
But i did notice a few typos and grammatical errors in it though, just re-read it and im sure you will find them.
I really liked the way you made Snape out to be a completely different person than what we think of him as. well done :).
I'll give it 10/10 for brilliant descriptions ;)

Author's Response: Hey harrylilyjames !! hey don't worry about the delay, I'm just grateful to get the feedback ! and again I'm very happy you enjoyed this little Severus fic & the descriptions too ! I hope to get a chance to edit it again soon & fix those pesky errors!
~Hugs
~Lai.


 Report Review

Review #25, by Blue Flame Stains

5th April 2007:
First...I am so sorry it took me forever to review this story. I love this story. You have great and detailed descriptions which suck the reader right into the story, which is great. I also love how you have Snape..you have shed a new light on his charrie and I appauld you for that.

Ok. 2 problems I had was the spacing, it would help if you put a space between each paragraph, because that would make it easier to read. Also you had a couple of spelling and grammatical errors, but just read aloud to yourself and you should find most of them, or if you want pm me in the forums and I can tell you where most of them are and help you with it.

On to more good things. This is an excellent story and you have I give you a good and strong 10/10 for a great job. Can't wait to read the rest of your stories and my apologies again for taking forever to review your story.

Thank you for asking to review this story and for giving the chance to read one of the best one-shots I have read in a long time. I appauld you for a great job..and I will finally end this long review :)

♥Cait

Author's Response: Hi there cait ! Thanks for coming over from the forums & reviewing this little story, you've said some really nice things & I'm glad you enjoyed it so much ! Thanks also for the offer, I'll drop you a PM soon, sometimes when you read your own work over & over you miss out on the errors ! I'll put in more spacings when I edit it !
~Hugs
~Lai.


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>