Great start! Can't wait to see where the story goes from here. I hope you update soon.~Jen Report Review
that was a good first chappie... but why so short? there were a couple of grammatical mistakes such as 'the boy now a man'- should it not be 'the boy who was now a fully grown man'- but its your story... im only trying to help... i hope you keep writing. =) Report Review
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