great chapter and the dialog is really natural but it took a while to figure out who were the rest of the characters i mean here were so many names but great job anyway:)Author's Response: Thank you :]. Hahaha, all of the guys seem to be having trouble with the characters. Hmm, what could THAT mean? Haha, just kidding. Thanks for the review; bye! Report Review
Loved it, as usual, hurry up with the next chapter would you? I want to know what happens next :p ! Author's Response: Hehe, I'm hurrying! I did an outline of it today (during English) so it should be coming along more quickly now. Haha, thanks for the review. Bye! Report Review
I liked this chapter, you really told us a lot about the characters of everyone in this chapter, I'll definitely keep reading, I can't find a single grammar or spelling mistake (I didn't think that was humanly possible :D) so 10/10
Author's Response: Aw, thank you! Report Review
I completely missed this *sheepish grin* Sorry :] I was just randomly checking to see if you had updated and then I found that you had and I was ten days late for my review. I’m very disorganised of late. :[
Wow, that’s a lot of characters :] The dialogue, as always, was very natural and I really liked this chapter. It was lovely and long which i loved. Evan really reminds me of one of my friends :] Your characterization is amazing.
So they don’t like the Marauders… hmm.. I loved your way of describing them. It makes your story different from all the others and i can’t wait for more interactions between the Ravenclaws and the Gryffindors.
Favourite bit of the chapter was *drum roll* when Alana pulled her wand on the kids that wouldn’t go their common room. :] That really made me laugh :]
I like your interpretation of the Ravenclaw Common Room. :] Obviously we know so much about the Gryffindor Common Room and it was interesting, and very real, in my opinion. Iago the Intelligent, that made me chuckle.
I have to go now as I’m going on holiday tomorrow and i have to pack :] *is excited* 10/10 of course as if i would give you any different. Can’t wait for more so I hope you update soon! :] :]Author's Response: :] Thanks. Report Review
Thi is really intresting, I really like it, good job Heather ! Author's Response: Thank you :). I hope you continue to read!! Report Review
Yay, such a good chapter! I really like this story, can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Thank you, dear :). Report Review
Well, like you said you're having a blast writing this, and I'm having a blast reading it! It's amazing! I love all of these characters...they're awesome. Evan reminds me of someone I know :) With all that said, this was just brilliant, and I can't wait for more! Great job! -AllisonAuthor's Response: Haha, it is a blast. I'm glad you like reading it :D. I love Evan, I'm not gonna lie. Thanks for the review, lovely. Bye!! Report Review
Hello! Another great chapter from you! I really like this story! Keep up the good work!!!
-CaitlinAuthor's Response: Thank you, dear :). Report Review
Yay! Heather updated...*does cha-cha dance around her room avoiding the funiture* Hehe...I've been loving forward to this. It was quite the wonderful chapter! I loved all the characters and I love Evan because he reminds me of a best friend of my own and Sam strikes me as wonderful, too. I feel so bad for Melly as well...poor girl. Lisa is sooo cute though!
Gah, I just love all your OCs, they are not at all very Mary Sueish. *nods* Alright, love, keep up the fantablous work. And out of curiousity, have you started chapter 7 of S.B. because I want your opinion on it, even if you've only read it.
LMWAuthor's Response: Yes, I updated! Hehe, I love Evan too, so I'm glad he's being taken well. :D. Because I love him with all of my little heart. Yes, Melly is to be pitied. Things might turn up for her, though. Yes, Lisa was a spur of the moment character...but she has plans. And I'm glad you like the OCs...:D. Thanks, hon. Byeeee. Report Review
Another good chapter! Iago the Intelligent? I like it.
The only thing that I found confusing is all these friends are introduced, and it gets hard to keep track of them with all the different nicknames. I really didn't get all the characters figured out until the very end of the chapter.
Besides that, I really didn't see any mistakes. You better hurry up with the next chapter!! lolAuthor's Response: Haha, I couldn't come up with I names...so I googled them. Iago was the most eye-catching :P. Haha, oh well. I don't know how to introduce them better...so you'll just have to focus, boy! :P. Anyway, yeah I'll TRY to write the next chapter. You may have to poke and prod me. Heh heh, bye :D. Report Review
Hiya! Sorry about the wait for my review ^-^ I don't know where time has gone lately... I've had exams and stuff... but I'm here now ;) And I shall try to leave you a looong review.
You know what immediately strikes me when I read this chapter is how natural it is. The dialogue, the description, the whole experiences... it's just so natural. I love stories like that where everything flows and this one just does. Am I making any sense ;)
I love Joe :) He seems such an amazing brother... and the relationship between the two... very nice. She hates Lily... Nice twist - It separates it from some of the other stories out of there. I loved the potion - very useful.
I'm not quite sure what to make of Madi. She's different to Sam, I'm guessing, but I'm not to sure whether I like them or not. Her reaction to Joe was interesting... hmmm!
Remember to take a shower EVERY night, Sam….and put your shirts down the laundry chute so the house elves can wash them!” - i loved that line - It was nice to add a bit of humour into it and it sounds so natural.
Alana at the moment seems normal. I'm guessing thats what you were going for and as far as I can see, she's definately not a Mary-Sue. I like her... I think I would be friends with her and I can relate to her at times so.. yeah :) Good characterization.
I still love Sam ;) he really reminds me of my friend [I know i said that last time, but its true] and he's adorable. He just seems like a typical guy.
So lovely chapter, hun. I can't wait to see what happens when there back at Hogwarts and more... I really want to find out what kind of student Alana is and how she gets on with everyone... and perhaps see a bit of the marauders!
10/10. Talk to you soon :DAuthor's Response: Hi! It's okay...I still need to review 22 and 23 of Star! I'm a horrible reviewer! Really? You liked it? I wasn't too sure about this chapter. I thought it seemed to lighthearted with all of the Joe stuff, but I do love Joe. Haha, the potions will come into play later :D. And yes, I made her hate Lily purposely. I hate repetative stories where Lily's best friend falls for Sirius. Haha, Madi...you'll see more of her later. She's...well, you'll see :D.
Hehehe, that line made me laugh! Sam is your typical boy. Alana is normal. I'm hoping that she won't be a Mary Sue...
Oh, yes. I love Sam. I'm working on the third chapter right now...a new loveable male was just introduced! Thank you, hon. You should see a bit of Hogwarts and the Marauders in chapters three and four :). Gosh, I have to go write now! Bye! Report Review
Interesting...UPDATE! Excellent grammar, and Alana's character is portrayed very well. Keep writing, I can't wait for chapter 3!! Author's Response: I'll try to update soon :). Thank you for the review, hon!!! Report Review
I liked that this chapter was shorter. While I despise chapters that are extremely small, I'm not too fond of long chapters. This was perfect length for me, but be assured I won't mind if you decide to change the length. I liked the chapter and I felt bad for Sam. Maybe I missed something, but what house is Alana in?Author's Response: Well, I can't really change the lengtth for anyone :). I write until I can't write anymore. Why do you feel bad for Sam?! He's being a jerk. Hehe. No, you haven't missed anything. I don't want to disclose all information too soon...it's unnecessary at this point. However, you may have been able to pick up hints...aside from the fact that it's in the summary :). She's in Ravenclaw. Well, thank you for the reviews, hon :). Report Review
It was good. I get an amazing sense of imagery when i read this story-I could picture Sam's house and Alana's kitchen. It was nice. Sometimes some of the things that were said (in the dialogue) seemed a bit more modern, like when Sam said "Um, you hungry there, Al?" Maybe it's just me, but I know I'm guilty of being too modern. But I just wanted to point that out because that's pretty much the only problem I found.Author's Response: Imagery is good...verrrry good. And I'll try to work on the dialogue being modern in the future chapters :). But, it wasn't THAT long ago, and the way we talk doesn't change that much in such a short time. Thank you for the review :). Report Review
Great story so far, can't wait to read what happens next :) Going on my favoritesAuthor's Response: Thank you :D! Report Review
Yay, another awesome chapter! I really like this story, you're doing great things with it! Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thank you very much :). Report Review
Awesome awesome, heather. I loved it...it was sooo good. That was an awesome chapter and I LOVE JOE! HE'S SOO COOL!!! Hehe He's my favorite just like yours.are we allowed to share favorites?
LMWAuthor's Response: Thank you, lovely. Yess, we can share favorites. There may be more favorites to come, though. Thanks, dear. Bye!! Report Review
Haha he had a hangover. Anyway this is a great, and wonderful chapter, I could only note a few spelling errors, but no biggy... I hope that the next chapter is out soon... I still don't get why Harry, Hemrione, or Ron arnt in it, or even metioned.. we I sorta do, but make it more interesting to some how tie them in
Author's Response: Yep, she did. Haha, thanks. I'll go proofread right now. I was so excited to get it out that I didn't proofread. And I explained that this is a Marauder story in the last response. Thanks for the reviews! Bye :). Report Review
Long long long.
I really like the names of the Oc,s wise choice.. I was glade to see that you where able to get right into the story, and that the description was wonderful...
I have a question... are you going to add Harry, Hermione, or Ron into this story?
Let me know
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you like the names. Yeah, I know it's long...but the majority of people like longer chapters :). Oh, and uhh...the Trio aren't in it because this is a Marauder story...and it's Sirius/OC...lol. Thanks for the review!! Report Review
I love this chapter! Alana's bonds with her family and how she tries to stay mad at Sam, but somehow can't manage it. It's just great. I'm so looking forward to the next chapter! Awesome job :) -AllisonAuthor's Response: Aw, thanks. I hated this chapter with a burning passion, so I'm glad you liked it! Haha, I love Alana's family...I'm so sad that I can't write them anymore. But hey, I think I'm going to go start the third chapter...because I love her friends and housemates. Haha, thanks, hon :). Report Review
Another amazing chapter. I love how it's so descriptive and you can really see what's happening. This one was particularly funny, especially at the end. I can't wait for the next chapter :D
-The MaleAuthor's Response: Haha, glad you liked it...even if you think it seems pointless right now. And you never did tell me how it's funny :(. Thanks, "the male" :D. Report Review
Hiya Heather, good start. I like the fact that the major characters are OC's, even if it's in the Marauders' Era, it's a nice change. The only thing that bothers me a bit is the OC's name...Alana, but, I like it, so I want to see where it goes. Keep writing! =)Author's Response: Yeah, I thought that the OCs that are Gryffindor was far too overdone :). Sirius will be in this tons once I get started though :). I'm sorry that her name bothers you, but I found it a nice simple name, and I asked about it on the forums to be sure it wasn't too Mary Sue or anything :). I guess you can't please everyone though :). I definitely will continue to write. (I'm writing the second chapter as we speak and I'm hoping to get it up tomorrow.) Thanks for reviewing! Bye :). Report Review
Hey! Another great one from you! This is great, and I can't wait for the next chapter! Update soon!!!
-CaitlinAuthor's Response: Thanks hon :). I should be updating sometime very shortly. Um, I'm Trusted now so I'll be able to update this story a lot! I'm sure that will make you happy :). Thanks for leaving the lovely review, as always. Bye! Report Review
Great start! You gave just enough detail about the characters to know who they are, without getting boring. Both Alana and Sam are great characters, they seem like easy friends.
Personally... I'm curious about Beth. She seems like a character I could identify with, even though she was really only in the scene for about 10 seconds. :)
It looks like it's gonna be a great story, i'm definately gonna check out your other works!Author's Response: I'm glad you think it's not boring. *whew* What a relief :). Yes, they are easy friends, but that doesn't mean they don't have their problems.... Hm, you may be interested to know that originally Beth was going to be WAY different. But you may be sad to know that she won't be in it again until Christmas (unless I put her in the next chapter :].) I hope you'll continue to read this! It's going to be a blast to write. Thanks for taking the time to review!! Report Review
You definitely have a very good start here. Your story flows, and the way you portray your characters makes them interesting to read, particularly Alana (I like her name) and Sam so far. But I guess there will be more of them, more OCs. Good job!
AnneAuthor's Response: Thank you :). I'm glad you think so. I'm working very hard on this story to make the characters as real as they can be. I love Alana and Sam :) so it will be interesting to see what happens there. And yes, many more OCs since it is about the Ravenclaws in Marauder era. I hope you continue to read; thank you very much for taking the time to review! Report Review
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