The big gaps between the lines were a bit distracting to the story itself. It's awkward when Draco is being called Dracie, LOL it made me laugh a bit. There were a few grammar and punctuation errors, especially around dialogues that could be fixed easily.
This chapter wasn't the best, but I hope the rest will justify...
^_^Author's Response: I hope the rest lives up to your expectations! Report Review
Hi, thanks for coming to my review thread and requesting a review. I do reviews by chapters, though, so you probably like to come back and request again after this one? I'll probably read the next chapter, too, since this is a very short chapter. Here we go:
A nice start, not quite the type of Dramione-fics I like, since masquerades have totally become cliché in the fandom.
Let's see what happens next.
^_^Author's Response: This is true. As I had just joined the forum when I wrote this, I didn't realize it was such a cliche until I had written a few chapters, and it was too late to turn back by then. Report Review
The story wasn't bad or cheesy at all for your first fan fic! :)
U did a good job on it, either way, first or not :D
I wish you put a little more description into it though.but then the feel of the story would alter.so it was finee on its own! :)
Nice flow-there was a staccato fluidity with the words, which was interesting but be careful with spelling :)
PS this is such a saddening story! :( Luvely plot thoughee! Author's Response: Thanks. I didn't think it was that good, the last one I've started has more description, but I'm not writing much in it lately. Anyways, thanks for the review! Report Review
omg i hate u! u cant leave a story that well writen hanging like that! wright a nother! NOW. i mean...please? anyway, it was really good. the way u use words r amazing. oh since ur such a good writer and obviously a fan of d/hr then ill give u an idea about what i wanted to write but wasnt sure how. its one where ron hermione and harry go to draco's house during the summer and see how hes treated by his father, they see that hes into muggle bands and instruments, but the whole time he cant see them. and somehow tie into the story that draco likes hermione. i had an idea about him singing just so you know by jesse mccartney. i think that would be so cute. well im gona stop writing now cause this is really long. loved ur story. bye
~dragonluverAuthor's Response: Hmm, that's a really good idea for a story. I'm not writing much anymore, but if I start writing back I might do something like that. (But I'll give you credit for the plot of course!!) :) Report Review
oh my god i LOVE your story!
the ending is AWESOME!
that is like the BEST fanfic i've ever read!
way to go!
=]Author's Response: Well, if you like this one, I encourage you to reas my newest one, as I think is starting to look better than this one did.
Anyways, thanks so much for the review!! Report Review
Great story! Just a bit disappointed with the ending, but what can I do about it? You're a great writer.Author's Response: Thanks so much dear. :) Report Review
Now, who found out? I must know, I must read on.Author's Response: Thanks for the review dear!! Report Review
Ah, so the necklace gave her away. Well, she can't hide forever.Author's Response: very true. :) She couldn't hide from Malfoy forever. Hope you're enjoying it! Report Review
Oh! Will she tell him right away? I guess I'll have to read on and see.Author's Response: Yes, read on, dear. :) Report Review
Still good story! Can't wait to read more!Author's Response: glad you think so! Thanks. :) Report Review
Nice Start! Can't wait to read more.Author's Response: Glad you like it so far. :) Report Review
NO! YOU EVIL! Please update soon!
RebeckaAuthor's Response: huh? :( Me no evil...... Report Review
He found out sorta quick... Oh well, good story! Keep it up!
RebeckaAuthor's Response: Yea..sorry about that. Report Review
This is good, but d'you think you can not put so many enters in between paragraphs? :D
RebeckaAuthor's Response: Sorry, that was a mistake, promise. :) Report Review
you dont have to worry your a very good writer and i really liked this story..i hope to see you write more soon
=]Author's Response: Thanks so much dear. =) Kind readers like you are the reasons I write! Report Review
that was cool.Author's Response: glad you liked it. Report Review
i hate cliffhangers. Especially the one's at the end of a storyAuthor's Response: Sorry. XD Report Review
girl i will personally tell you this i would be one of those people that would be at your throat for ending it this way. pretty please contiune this story. she can't kill him. you have to end it. my mind is thinking of all these ways it could end. so you have to end it. please, please. for this being your first fanfic i am impressed. but one thing when you start a fanfic end it. and not on a cliffie. it leaves to much room for guessing. please do a sequel.Author's Response: haha. Don't worry! Does no one read the author's notes anymore? there IS a sequel! lol. And thanks. I wasn't sure how to end it at first, thats why I ended with a cliffie, then it just sort of hit me, and I'm like, "yes! That's perfect!" so it does have an ending, and I hope you read it. Report Review
HEY THAT'S NOT FAIR!
me gunna get pitchfork =/ gr.
=]Author's Response: Hey hey hey! I said put down the pitchforks!! XD Report Review
ah! no no no!
please don't kill her.
!!!Author's Response: Ah the drama. Don't you love it? Report Review
no no no!
love not war!!!
Author's Response: War no good, but you gotta fight sometimes to find a way to keep the peace. (I got that from a song on my ipod. XD) Report Review
aww. he ran after her. I like to hear that. hahaha.
Author's Response: Of course. I love the fluff!! Report Review
i liked it when they didn't have a clue who each other was. ha.
Author's Response: Yea, a bit of mystery makes every story good. Report Review
haha. Pansy got it good. =]
Author's Response: Yea, had fun with that part. =) Report Review
Author's Response: Yea, I think I went overboard on the whole Draco-is-an-outcast thing. Report Review
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