Reading Reviews for A Business Affair
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gia Part One: Rebecca

9th May 2009:
Update It Now, I Say!
:D

 Report Review

Review #2, by GenieAmour Part One: Rebecca

3rd June 2007:
wow!! just simply wow!!

 Report Review

Review #3, by 0MFGZshes__DEADLY Part One: Rebecca

2nd January 2007:
Wow, I really like it so far. Your description of Petrovich Academy is so great! I think I would die if I ever had to go someplace like that, though. lol

It's a great start. I can't wait to read the rest. [You know, I've been looking for a good Weasley twin fic. I think yours will be the one to follow.] =]

Author's Response: Thanks!! I'd not like going there too, but in life you must have all sorts of experiences, right? ;) Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #4, by SexyDoorFrames Part One: Rebecca

30th December 2006:
I liked your chosen subject.

I think your off to a realy good start. I like the way started it all off.

Rebecca, she's fine now, but make sure you don't turn her into a mary sue, which is not appealing, but you're doing fine so far. Perfect is boring (:

You had a couple of punctuation errors, but nothing to major.

Petrovich Academy for Young Witches, I loved the way you described it.

Author's Response: Thanks!!! And I solemnly swear that I would never turn Rebecca into a Mary-Sue....

Thanks!!!


 Report Review

Review #5, by wild4harryp01231 Part One: Rebecca

27th December 2006:
Hey! You asked me for a review for this, so here it is. Excuse any random-ness you may discover; it's been a long day. This is a really good idea, I thought I'd let you know. It is really unique, and I'd never thought about who Fred and George will end up with. Anyhow, I thought that ‘no’s’ was confusing. It might be less confusing (and cause grammar nerds like me not to raise an eyebrow) if it was punctuates 'nos', because the former punctuation made the no posessive.

In the news article, second paragraph, there needs to be a comma after today. Also, there is a run-on sentence; change the punctuation after London to a semi-colon or period. Also, there needs to be a semi-colon after see. Also, centre should be center (unless that's the British spelling; if it is, ignore my American ignorance). And, last but not least, Mrs. and Mr. need periods after them. There are other errors (mostly comma related) that I won't mention here because you probably don't care. If you want them, however, feel free to PM me.

The news article sounded very newspaper-ish, which I really liked. It sounds like something I could pick up in my daily press and find. Becky seems like an interesting character, but remember not to make her Mary-Sue. I'm not saying that she's even close; it is just a caution. The tattoo that went down her back was Suzie’s influence on Becky, the marks of frequent whipping, Miss Petrovich’s. That confused me; I had to re-read it several times to understand it. I would suggest re-phrasing it, because it's a good line, just confusing.

I like how you describe Becky's life as a "contradiction in itself". That's a really good line, so you know. I like this a lot. It's really cool, and something I'd never think of writing. The plot is really good, and I'm favoriting it to keep up with updates. Good luck, happy new year, and update soon! Hope this review was helpful!

~*~KeNzIe~*~

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out the mistakes, I'll correct them once I'm allowed to (that'll be 7th, hopefully). And I wouldnt turn Rebecca into a Mary-Sue, I promise!

Thanks for the review! *runs off to find a beta for herself*


 Report Review

Review #6, by Fallen Angel Part One: Rebecca

27th December 2006:
Ahh a very nice and original plot. Great job for thinking of this!

Certainly this story of yours is much exciting but your summary doesn't give it much justice. The story has a lot of potential, I like the part where your OC, Rebecca, acted quite truthfully and realistically. I for one wouldn't like a family heritage being sold like that, so I agree. I am sorry for making this review so short, I am very much impressed with your story that you've rendered me speechless.

I'm looking forward to your next chapters. Great job!



Author's Response: Thanks! I'll work on the summary... or maybe get it written by somebody else.
Thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #7, by ElissandrAnne Part One: Rebecca

14th December 2006:
Ah, a strong-willed OC... Good. They are generally more difficult to write, but it is so much more fun! Are you going to write more about her best friends? They seem to be interesting characters, probably because they are so different from one another and different from Becky - even if it's almost a cliché now. Maybe Becky is a bit too attractive - you made it quite unfair to Fred. That's a good thing she has such a temper - she's not so perfect. lol.
I liked your description of the school. As much as I would have liked to go to Hogwarts, I wouldn't want to go there, though. Lol.
All in all, you did a good job!

Anne

Author's Response: yeah, i have to agree! I love people with strong wills and decided to write one OC of that sort. And it sure is fun.... The friends will come, I love them. And, hey, I find Fred attractive!!!

Thanks for reviewing, lol! :)


 Report Review

Review #8, by Anna_Black Part One: Rebecca

13th December 2006:
I liked it, and the idea about that Petrovich Academy for Young Witches; sounds interesting, no doubt!
I feel this is going to be a very inetersting story and I hope that the update will come soon enough.
One thing (not bad, lol), I have never read a fic about one of the Weasley twins being paired with an OC. Come to think of it, I have never read any fic with one of them doing anything but pranks! So this would be a nice change.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks, lol! and i'm glad you liked the idea of the academy as it was an addition to the earlier draft of this chapter (my poor word docs) and i felt it went against the traditional meaning of a school;)

but am gald i added it anyway! as for the OC thing, i mostly like mixing canons with OC's in my fics, so you'll find at least one in each!



 Report Review

Review #9, by Kelsea13 Part One: Rebecca

12th December 2006:
I actually REALLY like it so far!
I'd say hurry it up with the next chapter and get the Weasleys in there!
I've been looking for a good Fred or George romance, i think i found it :)

Author's Response: thanks a bunch! and i share the same spirit towards Weasleys too (at least the boys) and the next chapter will be up next week or so. thanks again:)

 Report Review

Review #10, by Carolyn Part One: Rebecca

12th December 2006:
can't wait for the next chapter

Author's Response: thanks! it's a lot longer therefore may take this week. but definitely up till next week or till i get a handful of more reviews!!!!! ;)

 Report Review

Review #11, by luckistars Part One: Rebecca

9th December 2006:
Iriki here, to deliver your review!

---

You had a couple punctuation and spacing errors... Like missing periods, missing 'enters' etc. Anywho, this was quite interesting, I've read all the books with a simliar plot, but not with a magical spin-off! I think it was strange that the introduction of the character was really at the end, but I kind of like the cliffhanger-ness of it. Anyways, nice work, I can't wait till I read your next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! the grammar is being worked upon as I am very bad at it!!! I'm glad you were read it so carefully... I guess I'll have to work extra harder now!! ;)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login