This was very good, I have to say. I love your characterisation of both Regulus and Sirius, and you portray their brotherly relationship in a believable and realistic manner.
I do, however, have a question regarding one of the sentences. I think it might have been a typo, but I'm not sure:
He didn’t wait for an answer, didn’t pause to consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, his words had no effect on James, but rather walked away.
Is that supposed to be 'James' there, or is it a typo and it's meant to be Regulus?
Other than that, though, I can't really think of much else to critique, as your characterisation and writing is wonderful. This story is definitely being favourited and getting a 10/10.
~Megan Report Review
I really should learn to review right after I read, whether I'm tired or not. ;) I really, really enjoyed the way you expressed the relationship between Regulus and Sirius. It makes them seem more human. Even if Reg doesn't quite get it. I absolutely adore that the tree made up for his lack of a mother. The way they both tried to so hard to really get along, but their personalities just clashed is amazing. You really brought that through. They just didn't understand one another.
Let's see. The 'I'll talk when I'm ready' sentence, the after seems a bit out of place to me. 'He was more than startled how calm he sounded,' your just missing an at between startled and how. You can say it either way, but it comes across clearer with an at. :) And then there's just the last little bit where you said James, but you were talking about Reg. ;)
Ah, brotherly love. It's good that they can appreciate one another and yet still not hesitate in the least to tell each other how horrible they are. It's very realistic. I enjoyed this. ;)
-Riddle Wood Lupin Report Review
really cool and sentimental too bad it doesnt stay all nice.
and was it a mistake that you wrote james' name? :D
He didn’t wait for an answer, didn’t pause to consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, his words had no effect on James, but rather walked away. Report Review
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