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Reading Reviews for Choices That We Make
54 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarFeather An Unwelcome Visit

12th April 2016:
Hi, Lily.
I came back.
I don't think Vernon in J.K.Rowling's story will accept Harry with Ron and Hermione in his house, but I really love their dialogues from the beginning. You did a good job! You captured Vernon's character very well. I could feel that from the dialogues you wrote.

Oh, wa...wait, you ended the scene in the middle of the fighting mood? Too short! But very intriguing!
I love action and adventure. Can't wait to read how Harry and his mates will fight back against the Death Eaters!


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Review #2, by StarFeather Packing to Leave

8th April 2016:
Hi, I'm amazed by your working on this story, again. You keep revising constantly.

The things I like here are:

1. You used the dialogues as possible as you could. I think the balance between descriptions and dialogues is good.

2. You described Harry's characteristics by the dialogues between Harry and Hermione very well.

The question I have is that you set the magic that had been protecting Harry from Voldemort, was broken after Dumbledore. I'm a little confused. According to J.K.Rowling, the protection was created by his mother, Lily. If you try to create AU, it may fit.

If Draco finds out Harry isn't safe anymore, what will Draco do next? It's very intriguing.


Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for your review! I've been working on the revision for some time and have several more chapters waiting to be uploaded. :)

Hmm.. I will have to make it a little more clearer that it wasn't Lily's protection that was broken, but the extra spells and wards that Dumbledore put into place before he had Harry brought to the house.

Draco has an interesting situation of his own...


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Review #3, by StarFeather Family Stories

6th April 2016:
Hi,Lily! Thank you for keeping review swap! I'm glad to have you in the Gryffindor house. I didn't expect I would get a multi-chaptered reveiwer.

I'm impressed you keep writing detailed descriptions after fellow authors gave you constructive reviews.

The spots I could understand well is Draco's description. And the beginning, Harry's thought and the conversation between Hermione and Harry. I think you could add more dialogues among the golden trio, which will attract readers to follow your story. :)

The spots I couldn't get are:
* Petunia's feeling towards Harry. It seems that you spared space to describe her emotion, but there are some spots that don't make them clear.
* Ron's thought about Harry's reprimanding. I think you can add Ron's dialogues with Harry at their bedroom scene.

Wait, you hinted that Snape might be Harry's father? I'm confused. if so, it's very intriguing!

I'll come back again.


Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you very much for your review!

Hm... No, Snape isn't Harry's father. Harry thought that Petunia was talking about his father when she was actually talking about Snape. I'll take another look to see how I can clear that up a bit more.

I'll also take another look at clearing up Petunia's feelings and Ron's thoughts.


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Review #4, by StarFeather Shadows

3rd April 2016:
Hi, Lily. Oh, you moved Draco's description to this chapter. It's great that you edit most of this story. I have to do the same thing,too.

It's always joyful to read the description about Neville's obsession with plants. It's quite a interesting way to express how he thought about the war, working on his plants. I guess Neville felt lonely to see his mother's roses though they must be so beautiful with their various colors.

It's possibliy happened that Neville didn't talk much to answer to Augusta's question. It's very Neville-like that he worked on his plants to think over the incidents in the past.

I'll come back to see how you worked on the next chapter.


Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for the review! I'm hoping that the changes that I've made will make it easier to read the story!


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Review #5, by StarFeather Deep Thoughts

30th March 2016:
Hallo! I came back here again. I love to know active Gryffindors on the forums. Thank you for multi-chaptered review swap. :)

I've never expected the last part, Draco entered with creepy thoughts. The spot was the most intriguing part. I like it.

This chapter consists of description about the situation or Harry's thought plus Draco's, which is very unique and I'd like to say you did a good job. As a constructive review, I'd like to suggest to add more dialogues like, the bickering between Hermione and Ron about the television. I chuckled (honestly laughed aloud) at the description, Ron was completely agog at the moving pictures and kept insisting it was magic. Hermione countered each time trying to explain about how a television worked. Then again, Ron was more interested in the commercials instead of the actual shows. He changed the channels just to keep watching the commercials while Dudley bawled because he couldnít watch his favorite shows.

Adding Dudley's and Petunia's or even Vernon's dialogue will make this chapter more interesting.

You traced the most of the concepts J.K.Rowling showed in her books, so I'd like to say the most interesting spots are the description about the bickering between Ron and Hermione and Draco's thought. I feel like to read Draco's muttering in dialogues. And adding Harry's shout at the bickering between Ron and Hermione may be interesting,too. 60 % descriptions and 40% dialogues is the best, which is advice from my fellow gryffie, TidalDragon.

I'm sure you're ready for romance between Ginny and Harry as well. I'll be back again.


Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for your review! I started this story several years before the last book came out. I'll look into revising the chapter a little bit to possibly add more dialogue. It may take some time as I'm trying to post the remainder of the story.

Thank you!

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Review #6, by BookDinosaur Invisibility is the Key

27th February 2014:
Hello there! Here with your requested review from the forums. :D

It's been quite a while since I read this, and so I was really glad when I came back to it and was able to slip back into the whole story really easily, with all the characters and the plot, so yay for that.

I really enjoyed reading about Fred and George. I read your oneshot about them and the way you've written and characterised them was really perfect. The way that you branded them with the same mischievous humour and impulsiveness that we see in the books was perfect really. They weren't as exuberant as we've seen that they can be, but I think that makes perfect sene if you consider that they're in the middle of a war. The unicorn tail was a perfect touch, I think. :)

I really liked the way you wrote the mystery of Percy as well. According to all the accounts, he certainly is acting suspicious, and you're doing a great job of racheting up the suspense, so major kudos to you there, I really want to find out want happens next. O_O

Draco's section was absolutely fascinating as well! It was very interesting how he's been stalking/following/finding out about the Weasley family. The interaction between him and Voldemort was really realistic (well,as realistic as an interaction with Voldy can get). His reuniting with his family was really sweet, and I was rooting for him there.

All in all, I really liked this chapter and I'm really glad that I got the chance to read it. :D

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Something always seems to go wrong with the twins' experiments, doesn't it? :)

Percy does have an interesting secret that his family will discover. :)

Well... Voldemort had heard the truth about Draco, but Draco thankfully was able to offer a plausible explanation to his actions. :)

Thank you very much!

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Review #7, by BookDinosaur The Slytherin Relic

28th December 2013:
Hello again! I'm all caught up now. :) And I'm here with your requested review, in case you didn't know. ;)

I really liked this chapter. Seeing Neville go through his first real test was really interessting. I loved Ron and Hermione's plan to go through the portrait and get the Horcrux. However, I have two small problems - judging the fear and shakiness Neville went through, the test he faced didn't seem that bad to me, so you might want to go back and edit that part. Also, perhaps I missed this in a previous chapter, but why would Voldemort want to hide the locket in the Black mansion?

I really enjoyed the beginning part of this chapter in particular, where you gave the reader an insight as to what kinds of thoughts and fears were filling each team members' head. It was really interesting to see what they were all thinking and I think it developed Neville's character a bit more.

I think Neville's talking to himself was a really nice touch ass well. How he was trying to convince himself that he was brave because he was a Gryffindor and how he could survive the ordela because Voldemort was a Slytherin, he was a Gryffindor and Gryffindors were braver than Slytherins was really endearing.

And as always, everyone referring to Voldermort as Nitwit never fails to amuse me. :P

Overall this was a good chapter, I'm looking forward to reading the next one. Update soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I'll see if I can't make the challenge a little more of a challenge. :)

There's a little bit of backstory that hasn't been revealed yet as to why the locket is in the Black mansion. :) I'll see if I can retrofit a few hints.

I definitely want to develop Neville's character during this story.

I laugh every time I write about Nitwit. :)

With the new story line that I've worked up, the remainder of the story should be very interesting. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #8, by BookDinosaur Nevilleís Choice

28th December 2013:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review. :)

We both know I haven't read this story for quite a while, so I was pleasantly surprised to see how easily I managed to get back into the story. :)

I think, as always, your characters are wonderfully close to canon and I really enjoyed the role Augusta Longbottom played in this chapter. From the little we saw of her in the books she;s a stubborn, domineering but kind-hearted old lady, and you definitely managed to bring that out in her and make her a lovely character to read about.

I loved your twist on the Prophecy in this chapter as well - if Harry died, and Harry was the only one who could defeat Voldemort, Neville could take his place because he was also suited to the Prophecy. It's a very interesting idea, and very creative, so well done there. :D

I really liked what Ron said about the Patronus Charm, it was very Ron-like and in character, when he was surprised that Neville could cast a patronus. It reminded me of the Yule Ball, when he took the tone of surprise when Hermione looked nice. :P And it was heartbreaking to know that Neville had been pracrtcing the patronus for Harry, and then Harry died without knowing. :(

The only thing I noticed here was that you described Neville's hedgehog patronus as ambling, and I don't think it would be ambling because 1) I'm not sure that hedgehogs can even amble, and 2) From what I got, this is a pretty urgent time, to messages would be going around quickly and discreetly.

Feel free to ignore that, it's just my take on it. This was a great chapter I enjoyed reading. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added a note to fix the ambling of the hedgehog.

For the Prophecy, I have the idea that there's possibly more people than anyone knows that could meet the requirements. Even in the 5th book when Harry took the Prophecy off the shelf, there was still a "?" on it. :)

It was difficult to write a bit there because of the tears. :(

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #9, by theblacksisters Deep Thoughts

8th November 2013:
Quick question: is this story going to have a happy ending? Because I don't like those a lot, and, well, frankly, I was just wondering.

Author's Response: I'm planning on an interesting ending to the story. I am also intending on staying as true to canon as possible.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #10, by BookDinosaur Secrets Revealed

8th July 2013:
Hello again Chele! I'm so sorry for the delay in getting this requested review to you, I've been travelling. :-/

So, anyway, reviewing. I liked this chapter as well as all the others. :) I liked the relationship you showed between Bill and the twins, they seem pretty close, and I enjoyed the extra touch of having Lee in there as a shop assistant, it seems like a very feasible idea. ;) The twins were very canon, I enjoyed reading about their interactions with each other and their attitude towards Lee was very realistic.

You wrote the mystery of Percy very well, now I really want to see what's going on with him and why he's hiding from his family and what his secret is. ;)

One bit of CC I noticed was that you spelt 'Kreacher' as 'Kreature' - 'Kreature' is the wrong spelling, just a small nitpick I picked up. ;)

All in all, this was a great chapter I enjoyed reading, and sorry again for the lateness of this review!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Percy has a very huge secret that will be revealed before the end of the month. :)

I will fix the spelling of Kreacher's name. Thank you for pointing it out.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #11, by evaseber Secrets Revealed

5th July 2013:
Hmm I wonder what Percy's doing! Strange that he should feel the need to lie about where he goes. Also please explain in the next chapters soon what happened with HP really being alive and receiving Scrimgeour's birthday wishes. I'm really curious! Update soon please!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Percy has a fairly huge secret that he's been keeping from his family which will be revealed before the month is finished.

Only a few people have figured out that particular secret...

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #12, by BookDinosaur Diadems and Lockets

28th June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here with your requested review! Sorry it took so long!

So, I enjoyed reading this chapter. I think that you built up the suspense in this chapter pretty well, or that might just be me, since I'm pretty easily scared/made sad. ;)

I think you had a good narrative of what was happening, and your dialogue was good, but I do think you could put in more description, especially towards the end, after Hermione comes out of the towers of junk.

I will admit that the whole barn thing doesn't quite make sense to me, and you haven't explained why Voldemort would want to hide his Horcrux there, but I'm sure you'll explain in the coming chapters. :)

All in all, I really enjoyed reading this chapter, and it left me wanting more, so please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I will revise the chapter to include more descriptions about the Horcrux location and what is happening.

I will also update to explain better why Voldemort had hidden his Horcrux in the barn. I had chosen the barn mainly because it was another location that had been pointed out during the extra lessons with Professor Dumbledore.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #13, by -BookDinosaur- Second Chances

15th June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here again. I've finished reviewing all the chapters of the story so far! :D

So, I really liked this chapter again. I like how you've written Hermione's acting skills, we all know she can be a bit snobby, but this put-on arrogance made me laugh.

I also really like how you've portrayed Mr Conners, he seems like a really shifty guy, and it makes sense that not all the Muggles were innocent during that time as well.

Just one typo that I spotted-you wrote 'And how they not have believed him?' I think a word's missing in between 'how' and 'they'. Either way, that sentence doesn't quite make sense.

All in all, a good chapter that left me wanting more, so please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Again, this was a fun chapter to write. Both Ron and Hermione feel a little easier being someone else as they look like someone else. :)

Mr Conners resisted any attempt to be nice. But he certainly does have a guilty conscience.

I think the word "could" got left out. Really should slow down a little when typing. :) I will be fixing that sentence.

My next chapter is nearly ready to post. It still needs just a little more work before it's ready.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #14, by -BookDinosaur- Where is Nitwit?

15th June 2013:
Hey, -BookDinosaur- here again! Sorry for the wait! D':

I liked this chapter, I especially liked at the beginning how you showed both Ron and Hermione's grievances with each other, rather than just one point of view of the bickering, it balanced out the story a bit for me.

I also liked how you had Ron and Hermione change their appearances and their names, but if it were me, I'd just write a bit more shock/surprise at the complete change in appearances. I mean, changing almost everything the way you look isn't something you can just get used to.

As always, I feel your description and dialogue was really well balanced and I loved the little bicker at the end, Ron and Hermione are acting really canonly, so well done there.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added a note to add a little more emotional response to the change in looks. Thank you for pointing it out.

This was a fun chapter to write, especially with Hermione calling Voldemort a Nitwit. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #15, by -BookDinosaur- A Birthday Surprise

12th June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

I liked this chapter a lot. I loved how you started off with the description of the Minister's office and then bam! There were Death Eaters killing Scrimgeour. It was good action, and very well written. One thing I wasn't sure about; in TDH, Voldemort rose to power, but kept in the shadows a lot, to scare people. The Rules of Compliance Thicknesse wrote made it pretty obvious Voldy had come into power. I don't know if it's meant to be that way, but I just thought I'd point it out. :)

I loved how the Weasleys had that little 'remembrance' session for Ginny, it was really sweet and touching. And Charlie and Tamsin! Geez, I can't decide if this is good or bad timing.

The description vs. dialogue was fine, as ever. Your descriptions of places are very vivid, so I enjoyed reading that quite a lot.

And the end! Cliffy alert! Now I want to read on to see what everything means and gah.

Anyway, overall this was a really good chapter that left me hanging.

PS-I just remembered that Draco played quite a large part in the first chapter, but then he hasn't appeared again. Is it meant to be like that?

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I spent some time considering how to change the rules of compliance and still keep Arthur able to warn Ron and Hermione. I have an idea that may work a little better and keep Voldemort's rise to power ambiguous.

I have little hints that I'm including here and there so the end will make sense. :)

I looked back through and realized that Draco had gone into hiding a little too well. :) I've started back at the beginning to add his storyline back into story, though he is spending most of his time trying to remain hidden.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #16, by -BookDinosaur- Daylight Revelations

8th June 2013:
Hey, -BookDinosaur- here again! I'd just finished chapter 15, then I check back in my thread and there you were with another request!

I did like this chapter, I think the discussion between Ron and Hermione about the Horcruxes was really good-I loved seing them come up with conclusions without the help of Dumbledore's knowledge or Harry's help.

One thing I spotted, you describe the dog as bemsed, whereas Ron describes it as amused. I think those are two pretty different emotions, so I'd go back and change one of them so they both say the same thing.

I think it was really interesting about the dog-are you going to bring Sirius back?! Gah!

All in all, this was a good chapter that really left me wanting more.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've changed the dog to being amused.

I am still of two minds about Sirius. On one hand, he was dying as he fell into the Veil. Is it Sirius in his Animagus form because that would be the only form he has left or is it a dog that looks like Padfoot?

Hermione has memorized everything Harry has said, but now they have to interpret what they know. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #17, by -BookDinosaur- Running Away

8th June 2013:
Yes! Done all the requested reviews in a day, so proud of myself! :)

I liked this chapter as well, I think you wrote Ron and Hermione very well. Their actions were all very canon, so well done there.

One issue I had was at the end-Hermione's mood seems to swing really quickly, as you describe her as spitting it out. I don't know, but it seems like a very fast change of mood. It just threw me a bit, that's all.

Just a typo I spotted: ' "Yeah and how sure was he of Snape" Ron demanded surly.' I think that's meant to be surlily, but since I'm pretty sure that word doesn't exist, you might have to use a different adverb.

All in all, a good chapter that lrft me wanting to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I think I've fixed Hermione's extreme mood swing to being upset that Ron hadn't said good night.

I've changed the word from "surly" to "irritably". Thank you for pointing it out.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #18, by -BookDinosaur- Reunions and Weddings

8th June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here again!

I liked this chapter, I've always loved Bill and Fleur, so this chapter was close to my heart. The only thing I would suggest is put more emotions in-I want to know how Bill felt, how Fleur felt, maybe a guest's point of view, just tell us how much Bill and Fleur love each other, or the look on their faces as Fleur walked down the aisle. You could even tell us about how Fleur's dad was feeling!

I really liked your idea of the spell that shows how well matched a pair is, and the fact that Bill and Fleur were so perfect for each other just made me go aww.

I loved the three aunts-they were so catty and Aunt Muriel-like, I was laughing out loud when they trapped Hermione between them.

Anyway, all in all, a great chapter that left wanting to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added a note about including more emotions and viewpoints for the wedding.

The three aunts did give Hermione a chance to leave but she just didn't realize it. :)

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #19, by -BookDinosaur- Facts or Rumors

8th June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- back again!

I liked this chapter. I feel that the reminiscing of Harry was realistic and touching-however, I would think that the Weasleys knew more about what happened in Hogwarts, for example the incident with the troll. That's just me though, it was well-written and I don't really have an issue with it apart from that.

I really liked the newspaper article, and I think the reaction of Neville's grandmother was really good, very canon, and I can completely see why he's so scared of her. However, I would have liked to see Luna and her day's reactions to the article, not just Hannah and Neville.

And the Guardian thing! It's a really creative idea, and one I'd love to see developed some more.

Just one typo I spotted, when the professors all return to Hogwarts, Prof. McGonagall says "check you offices and your classrooms." I think that should be 'your offices and your classrooms,' or you could just shorten it to 'your offices and classrooms.'

All in all this was a good chapter that made me want more.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I agree, the Weasleys would know more of what happened at Hogwarts, though there might be a few things to still surprise them that the Trio didn't include in their explanations at the end of the year. I'll consider how to improve this section.

I've added a note to add Luna and her dad's reaction to Rita's article.

The Guardian of Hogwarts started out completely different when I first started writing the story. When I picked the story back up, I changed the meaning just a bit to reflect a choice.

I've fixed the typo. Thank you for pointing it out.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #20, by -BookDinosaur- Terror at Hogwarts

8th June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here with your requested review.

Ooh, what just happened? Who caused it? I have so many questions now.

Anyway, down to reviewing. I think your descriptions were excellent in this chapter, I could really see the rising water, the falling towers. However, I would have liked to see more of the people's reaction to everything; you focused on one person at a time, which can be a good thing, but here, I would have liked more of the reactions of the crowd, for example, 'the crowd gasped in fear as a particularly violent wave hit the shield. For a moment, it had seemed like the shields were going to give way.' Adding in small sentences about what the crowd was doing would make this a lot more real.

I feel you did a good job building the suspense and mystery in this chapter-now I want to read on to find out what happened, how, why, when and who.

All in all, a good chapter that left me wanting more

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added the note to add the crowd's viewpoint and their reactions to what is happening.

I'm trying real hard to figure out if I can give a hint without revealing the answer, but it sounds like you might have figured out one of the secrets.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #21, by -BookDinosaur- Saying Good-Bye

8th June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here with your requested review! I'm sorry it's so late, I wanted to wait until the weekend so I could so them all in one go.

I really enjoyed reading from Hannah and Luna's points of view, and I love how they're all staring at each other trying to figure out everything about each other. The only thing is, I find it a bit unrealistic that everybody's focusing on Percy and why he's not sitting with his family. Also, if Percy is that obvious, I'd think that Scrimgeour would feel smug that he's got such a loyal worker, or something. Just a suggestion!

I like your use of the crow's harsh cawing-it gives a sense of foreboding and darkness to the atmosphere of the funeral.

I love how you had the Lovegoods wearing such a bright colour, it really emphasised their quirkiness. However, in The Deathly Hallows, Luna mentions that wearing yellow is for luck-I don't think Harry needs luck, seeing as everyone thinks he's dead. Perhaps you could have them wearing some other, equally bright, colour, like hot pink 'to rejoice for the peace of the dead' or some such other quirky explanation.

I loved your descriptions in this chapter, I could really see what was going on, and feel Hannah's remorse.

All in all, a really good chapter that made me want to spread onwards.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added a note to either reduce the notice of Percy not sitting with his family or else add Scrimgeour's smugness for a loyal employee. I'll have to decide which will work the best. :)

I've also added the note to change the color and why they're wearing that color. Thank you for pointing out that they wouldn't have been wearing yellow.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #22, by reed Deep Thoughts

7th June 2013:
awesome story im already hooked

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I started this story while waiting for the 7th book to be released. Since picking the story back up, I've added timelines for two more novels to follow.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #23, by -BookDinosaur- One Last Farewell

1st June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

I loved Neville's POV. He was very canon and the way he thought was much simpler than the others we've seen, which I appreciated.

The description you put in of everyone who attended the funeral and the funeral itself was very good, I could really see everything in my mind's eye.

Just a mistake I caught-You say 'Before Harry and Ginny had their shining moment, Harry had been sitting...' That isn't possible according to canon, because before Harry came into the common room, he was doing a detention. I think that is supposed to be 'after Harry and Ginny...' If it was meant to be that way, the ignore this. :)
Also, when Neville is describing Harry and Ginmny's kiss, you say 'heedless that the entire room was watching.' I think that should be 'heedless of the entire room watching them.' Just a suggestion!

All in all, a great chapter that left me wanting more.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've updated it to read "A few days before Harry and Ginny had their shining moment..." making a better reference of time for the reason why Harry was sitting in detention instead of playing Quidditch.

I've also fixed the phrase as you suggested "...heedless of the entire room watching them in various states of astonishment."

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #24, by -BookDinosaur- My Dear Readers

31st May 2013:
Four in a row! I'm so proud of myself!

So, this chapter was good as well, I feel you have the reactions of the Weasley clan down to a T. They are all acting very canon-ly, which is something I love, so well done there.

Rita Skeeter strikes again! You would think that she would be a bit more careful, seeing as Hermione knows her secret, but oh well. Maybe later in the story we'll see her secret revealed! That would make me feel happy. Still, just a suggestion.

Just some quick advice, I saw you said that Bill lost his battle with laughing, as he shut the door, but you never mentioned him finding anything funny before that, so maybe you could just put in a quick sentence before that about how he was trying his best not to laugh. Just a suggestion!

All in all, a great chapter that I enjoyed.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added a note to fix Bill's losing his battle with laughing. Thank you for catching that!

Unfortunately, Rita gets away - for the moment. Especially given the current status at the Ministry with Voldy rising to power. :(

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #25, by -BookDinosaur- Bitter Hopes

31st May 2013:
YES! THREE CHAPTERS IN A ROW! Woot. Be proud of me, be very proud. Are you proud?

I loved the way that you wrote Rufus Scrimgeour, the way he was constantly thinking about the things he had to do and politics, even while writing a birthday card, haha.

The Weasleys were so sad! It was just heartbreaking, especially Molly. You really made me feel sorry for them, having to deal with Harry and Ginny dying. *breaks down* I liked the way you wrote Minerva McGonagall as well, she was very canon.

Ooh, what's Charlie up to? Why did he marry Tamsin without letting his family know? By the way, I loved Molly and Arthur's reactions to the 'news', thinking she was pregnant. "Is she in trouble?" haha.

One thing, I think in a previous chapter you wrote Fleur with a French accent, but in this chapter you haven't, I would just suggest going back and making sure that they're all the same, as in she talks all the time without an accent, or all the time with an accent, but it should be uniform to give a better effect.

Overall, great chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added your questions about Charlie to my file and will figure out the answers. :)

Arthur and Molly's reactions are based off on of Ron's statements to Hermione about scarlet women. I think it was in their 4th year.

I'll go back and change her speech to include an accent as her accent carried through the series. Thank you for catching it!

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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