hi Mabe!
it's been forever since we last talked, sorry about that. =/
i liked it, and i love the song paper heart.

ok, now i have some critique for ya. =]
make sure after you're done writing a story to go over it, make sure it flows, and fix errors and all that other baloney [or balogna?], even though i didn't really see any, besides one point in which you spelled Evans 'Evens', but only once. and even though i thought this was really cute, i have to put a few spots down, like the lack of detail on their date. with how much they did, it seemed like they were only there maybe 15 or 20 minutes. personally, i wouldnt enjoy only being on a date for 20 minutes and i wouldnt lie to the guy i enjoyed it, and Lily seems the brutally honest type. if there had been more details, or more conversation, it would have been loads better. but don't get me wrong mabe, it was still good. 7/10 for effort. =]

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Cute.

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very good it was amazing i loved it. a successful peice of writing

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very good it was amazing i loved it. a successful peice of writing

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I could try to make you a banner, but usually other people made them for me, and they make them beautifully. I love this song, and this story is so cute. I love James and Lily stories. I've written two, though they're not finished yet and I don't know when they will be done.

Keep writing. Everytime you write you get better.

Author's Response: awww. so sweet. thanx for the review!

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Hi, the story was really good, you're a good writer, but the plot seems very familiar...like 'Lily's Diary' maybe? lol Anyway, keep up the good work!

Author's Response: thats where i got some of the info from, i just hope i don't get sued or anything. thanx for the review.

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From: ur bff Hermione/Morgan
It was cool, I loved it . Keep up the good work. Ur a good writer. U realy need to put the Dargon Riders story on Fanfiction.

Author's Response: you are one of the best friends anyone could ever have. can't wait for L42 to start going. Thanks!

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hey, this is great!! i was really into it! i also wanted to know what song you liked by crossfade- I like them too.

Author's Response: cold is my favorite, and some others, but sadly i don't have the CD yet. my friend has it, and all the wal-marts don't have it. i found 1 copy and i'm going to get it. thanx for the review! if you'd like to e-mail me about my story or anything, my e-mail is lisa420188@aol.com . just if u want. thanx again! ~ purplefire

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Well, I was intrested in the story becuase I adore the song. Your story could have used a once more going over. For example you called Lily "ily" when you said what she had goten at the candy store. I'm not really sure I liked your ending either. the use of Veriatism, (which I belive is spelled wrong) seems a little over the top. The story wasn't a bad idea over all, it's just an over used idea. Keep writting though.

Author's Response: thanx. i know i spelled veriatism wrong ( and i just did) and sometimes the computer doesn't pick up all the words. It IS an over used idea, that's how i got mine. i have updated it, but it isn't validated yet. i'm going over it. i adore the song as well. i go to sleep with it almost every night. ~ mary beth

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Hey, this is pretty cute, though depressingly short. Haha. I've always been a sucker for long chapters, so don't mind me. Anyway, I think this is a pretty good one-shot, other than the fact that you spelled Veritaserum wrong x) But that's okay! I always mix stuff up when I write. Blah. Heh. I think it would've been a little better if you extended Lily and James's thought process a bit, or maybe if you had actually showed their trip instead of just talked about it. It would've made the story more interesting and certainly you could add a touch of humor if you wish :) I find it awesome how Lily can just detect the truth potion...but that's kinda freaky at the same time. She's like...super-witch or something. Heh. Great job, and I look forward to reading more of your stories!! Happy writing!

Author's Response: yeah. i read your story. they are long ones, but that's a gift. i can't wrie lond stuffs like that. but I try. thanks for the review!

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That is one of the most awsome fanfics Ive ever read!

Author's Response: thanx! i'm glad you think my story is awesome! :)

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