suppose it fits
you've got talent, you do.
your writing style, your large vocabulary, everything..
10/10 Report Review
Wow, what a plot twist you got going on there! Report Review
Wow. Lee Jordan. Now that was a surprise.
Great work. Report Review
Your story was extremely well written. The emotions that Mrs. Weasley were feeling were jumping off of the page. I enjoyed your descripitions and characterizations--they were extremely well done. Great job! Report Review
*le gasp* Lee? Unexpected, much? But beautifully written, you've captured Molly's emotions spectacularly. Remember to have a new line when someone else has dialogue. 9/10
The Other Dobby Report Review
You made me cry. The first sad story I've read tonight that actually made me cry. It happened right around the time her grandsons old her that they didn't remember their daddies. That just broke my heart because I'm a mother and I know I would feel horrible for my daughter if she told me that one day about her dad. It was quite a shocker for the killer to be Lee though since he was supposed to be their best friend. But at least you explained why he did it.
Now I must go find some tissue. I love the title by the way.
=^_^= Report Review
Aw Jemma!!! Thats so sad! Gosh I literally gasped when Lee was it! OMIGOSH! I can't believe it! Fred is one of my fav Charries, when he died in the seventh book I cried and screamed! But not nessisarily in that order!
Beautifully written love, It was fantastic!Author's Response: Aww, thanks Shannon! I'm glad you liked it, I was a bit concerned about the ending actually. Thanks for the review! =) Report Review
Very intresting. Was this pre or post DH? I would like to know.
Some of the grammer is incorect, but all in all, good idea, and moral. 8/10Author's Response: Well, I wrote it pre-Deathly Hallows, but it is set post DH. Thanks for pointing that out, I'll look through it again. Thanks for the review! =) Report Review
My apologies...I tend not to read previous reviews of stories for fear they will cloud my opinion. After posting my review, I realized the spacing issues had been mentioned to you previously (I hate it when I kept being told the same thing over and over...don't you?) Anyway, I've taken the liberty of fixing the spacing issues that I noticed in your chapter. Should I have missed any, please drop me a message and let me know where they are and I'll get them taken care of for you. I'm sorry you've had difficulty getting the edits to "stick" in your chapter. :)Author's Response: ...My word, you are so amazing! No you haven't left any. You have no need to apologise! It's my own fault. Thank you so much for fixing that for me! *Glomps* =D x Report Review
What a fabulous little story! It's rare to see anyone focus on Molly, much less take her on from a first person perspective and you've done exceptionally well at it. I like the way you portray the boys upbringing through her thoughts and the quick way you managed to cover the background of the twins in a fast, almost clips of memory, way (if that makes any sense!). I enjoyed the mention of how she was so unhappy about the joke shop and the description in the morgue was great (especially the color comparison to the sheets). Wonderful job! You do have a few format errors where it looks like an extra break tag was placed mid-sentence (probably by the archive editor when you pasted and copied). If you take a quick glance of the story, you'll be able to see where they are. I noticed four places, I believe, and while they are easy to look over, it will make the piece easier for readers newer to our archive who sometimes can be confused about why you would break there :P. Anywho, fantastic job, if you are up for, I'd consider a longer length perhaps novella, taking on Molly's perspective of some other things. Maybe when Mr. Weasley is attacked by the snake or a battle scene or the summer when she finds out Harry and Ginny have been dating all year. Oh! Or even maybe a series of one shots based on different scenes but all taken from her perspective! Just food for thought. Take care and happy writing!Author's Response: Aww, thanks for the review Linda!
I was thinking about writing a few more one-shots, but I just haven't been hit by a plot bunny recently.
Yea, I've been meaning to sort out those spacings for a while now. I'll go and correct them in a minute ^_^
Thanks again for the review, and for the message that you left at HPFF, your amazing, you know that? =D x x Report Review
Very Sad! I don't think that Lee would have killed them, he loved them as brothers.Author's Response: Well I don't think that he really would either, but thats just the way that the plot unfolded. Thanks for the review!! =) x x Report Review
Soo sad...poor lil Fred and George Jr's...Man Lee is evil! But great story! 10/10Author's Response: Thank you!! I'm glad that you enjoyed it =) x x Report Review
*cry cry* this is awesome.Author's Response: Thank you!! =) x x Report Review
That was so sad. How miserable! I would hate to see Fred and George die in the last book, because as Mrs. Weasley said in your fic, they're always so full of life. They bring the joy into darkness. This fanfic was wonderfully written, though I doubt Lee Jordan would kill his own best friends. This fic has me hoping that Fred and George will live on and continue to manage their joke shop!Author's Response: Thank you! It is rather miserable I suppose... I would hate it if they really died too... I wrote this so J.K wouldn't have to lol thanks for the review!! :) x x Report Review
Poor Fred! Poor George! Poor Molly! Good story =)Author's Response: Aww thanks!! =) x x x Report Review
This was good, made me cry actually. I find it interesting, albeit realistic, that you put Lee Jordan as the murderer. Here I was, expecting a jealous Slytherin or the unfortunate centre of one of the twins' jokes, that, never found it funny...haha. But that surprised me. Grammar is excellent as always.
Lia.Author's Response: Thank you lia!! So many people have said that! Thank you for the amazing review!! =) x x Report Review
Powerful and emotional! It brought tears to my eyes! You can truly write! But, I personally think that you need to work on the area of conversation, the detail and imagery were amazing, but when your characters talked to each other, it seemed almost unrealistic. That is your only down-fall. Nail that and you could be an amazing writer! 10/10Author's Response: Thank you! Yea I have got a problem with conversations... I just can't get them to seem real! Its a big problem. Thanks for the Helpful review! =) x x Report Review
The overall idea to this story was pleasing. I greatly enjoyed the irony concerning their birthdays and the joke. It was difficult to concentrate at points because of the odd format to the spacing. Your description was very good. You use a lot of adjectives and at some points you may even want to cut back on their usage. The tone of the story was from Molly, so it felt a bit awkward. Your Molly's voice sounded like a teenager at times. Be careful with some of the thoughts and expressions you use such as: "..twins first told me they were opening a joke shop; I blew my top..." Overall, nicely done my dear.Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. The spacings are a problem and I have tried editing them but it just won't work. I shall take the adjectives into consideration when I get a minute or two. I still have some changes that I want to do... you have mentioned one that are the teenage expressions. Thank you for bringing some of these points to my attention and thanks for the helpful review! =) x x Report Review
Lee!? *gasp* Very nice work!
The description was great, you portrayed Molly's emotions wonderfully. The plot was great - very nice work.
Something to improve on: the ending was a bit short, maybe a tad bit more detail?
Overall, nice work. I love this story!Author's Response: Thank you!! Yea... I was thinking about changing that... Thanks for the review!! =) x x Report Review
Oh my gosh...how sad!
A depressing Fred and George fic? Do those exist? Well...I guess they do now. Wow.
You get serious original story idea points - I've never read anything like this. The first paragraph was amazing, an incredible hook. And I love that you captured so many aspects of Molly's personality - the ridiculous memories of Fred and Georege's childhood, being so angry and vengeful while just wanting everything to go back to normal.
Tears actually came to my eyes when she was talking to the grandkids - oh my gosh, so much can be said through the simple emotions of children, its unreal.
The only critisism I have is that it seemed a bit choppy. You might want to work on your transistions between events and thoughts a bit, just to make the flow of the story seem more natural. But don't change too much as far as the sentence structure goes, the choppy sentences keep a simplicity that allows for the emotion behind the story show.
That, and the spacing is a little excessive.
Fabulous work, really different. Author's Response: Yea... the spacings wouldn't change! I tried editing them but it just didn't work =(. Thank you for the amazing review! It is always nice to know that people enjoy your fic... It is rather different isn't it. One of the reasons I wrote it actually. Thanks for the review!! =) x x Report Review
ha, I have actually read this before and just never reviewed!
Okay, so I really like the voice that you gave Molly here. I love seeing all of her thoughts, its a rarely used POV and she's never been a major character. I think you did really well with her characterization - you perfectly capture what it is like to be a mother. Also, I like the general flow of the story - how it is like a biography sort of. It almost reminds me of my story, My Other Half. To see somebody through another's eyes, and that was rather fun to write.
I really loved Molly's memories of them. I've only read one or two fics about the Weasley's when they were a younger family. It was just such fun to read the boys when they were little - Fred turning the broomstick into a pencil was cute. Those memories are also what makes it sad - they were innocent back then and its always hard when that dies. So I think including the memories of them as kids was definitely a good idea.
Then the whole process of her having to identify their bodies was also horrible. Not horribly written or anything, just a nightmare for a mother to have to live through. I think the best thing about this is that she was always angry with Fred and George for one thing or another and it just sucks that they're dead now because we never really saw her in the books NOT lecturing them. But you show that they are still her sons and of course she loves them. The books just didnt really have that.
Anyway, the kids were cute. The end was surprising. I never would have thought it'd be Lee Jordan lol. I think that would be even worse, to finally find out who it is and learn that it was their best friend all along.
Great one shot, I was really impressed the first time I read it and now that I've read it again, I like it even more.Author's Response: Wow! Thank you for spending so much time writing this review! It must have taken ages! I really apreciate it. I love My Other Half! It is one of my all time favourites! I have recently edited this, so it has probably changed since you last read it.
I choose this P.O.V because it hasn't really been done. It is really true that she is always lecturing them! It was so sad writing this, but the buzz when you get a review is amazing! Once again thank you for reviewing and keep up the good work on your fics! =) x Report Review
I didn't start crying until the little girl came up. So sad. I could NEVER imagine Lee doing something like that, either. Or caring about fame or fortune. You had good spelling and grammar, which I'm proud of, and a good grasp on what you were trying to say. All in all... a good job.
~ Caroline (Ellarose)Author's Response: Aww!! Well I did try and add a twist and I haven't seen this before so I thought that I should be a first!! Thank you for the helpfull review! =) x x Report Review
Aww that's so sad!
Emma xxAuthor's Response: Aww thank you!! =) Report Review
I find this a very real story, because murders like this happen all the time. It's quite sad, actually. The part with their children at the gravestones was heartbreaking.
two life sentences in Azkaban
I don't see how this could work though. Don't you only have one life?
Really touching and unique read.
VardaAuthor's Response: No you actually can have more. A life sentance can be as short as 40 years, so two would basically mean that you never come out. Thank you for the lovely review! =) x x Report Review
When an author beginnings a story strong I believe that the author should also finish it that way. You did not dissapoint me. I was able to feel the emoiton of the story, and the description helped to bring everything to life. Author's Response: Thank you!! Me and my beta spent alot of time working on the description in this fic. It is nice to know that you have noticed. Thanks for the wonderful review! =) x x Report Review
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