A little rushed at the end, I don't know if you were skirting around making them kiss or that was a planned ending. Either way it was a rushed and should have been a bit slower. Also, you might want to do some grammer and spelling checks; it can improve a story by leaps and bounds. (do not take offence to these)
Nice story, keep writing!
Love ~K Report Review
Aww, how sweet! I love how Ron cancelled the kiss because of Quidditch, that is so like him. You did a good job writing their arguments and Hermione’s thoughts and emotion. Nothing seems out of place or forced, it was all very good. Anyway, great work. Keep it up! Report Review
Lovely one-shot; I'm a supporter of Ron/Hermione so I always enjoy reading these kinds of ficcies. Again like I said before, better spacing on the lyrics could be used and you spelt Gryffindor with an 'e' at the end near the begining, which usually does throw people off when they find stuff like that near the begining of a chapter. -Valhalla Adonis-Snape(Skyris) Report Review
How cool is that song??!!! And great plot with it to, God Ron can be such a prat sometimes... You made him very canon here to... Which can be hard in some situations but you have him pretty covered here. Good job!
KayxAuthor's Response: Thanks! I always love nailing a J.K.R. character :D Report Review
I'm not an R/Hr shipper, but this was pretty good. I would have thought Hermione would have jumped on Ron for Lavender's little quip about going with him to the dance. Your descriptions are well done. Good job.
*Eli*Author's Response: Thank you very much! I take it as sucha compliment that my descriptions are good :D Report Review
Your talented at poetry, and this was a very good story, you should write another one
I will be reading
lolhee1Author's Response: Thankyou very much :D But, if you are refering to the lyrics in those stories as "poetry", I did not write those. thx a million for reviewing Report Review
i liked it it was really good sweet, very touching
Author's Response: very touching thanks thats a big compliment!! Report Review
that was adorable!Author's Response: glacias mucho & thanks for reading!! Report Review
aw! Okay that is like the sweetest realest sounding fanfic i have read in a really long time(and thats saying something)!It's so sweet!
anyway i loved it so keep writing cause u rock!!!
10/10=]Author's Response: THAT REVIEW MADE MY DAY!! YOUU ROCK :] Report Review
Awww... that was cute. You may want to go back and italicsize (I have no idea how to spell that) some of the song lyric's, because I started reading them thinking that they were thoughts, and realized they were song lyric's. Anyways I thought this was cute, but I think you could add more to the end. But I still liked it! Good job so far!
~AlexAuthor's Response: thanks for reviewing!! Report Review
the idea to make a songfic about ron and hermione with this song was brilliant! i've got the song on my itunes and am therefore able to follow along, but even for those who haven't heard it: the words really do express what could very well be one of hermione's greatest frustrations. and i really like that she was so concerned about voicing how she felt, that she had left all of that childish bottling up behind and everything. it just seemed like she had grown up.
i think the fight could have been a bit more elaborate before hermione ran off, though, just because it didn't seem like much. other than that, great work :)Author's Response: thanks soo much!! i always try & pick the best songs :) & i see what u mean about the part before Hermione runs off. thank youuu!! Report Review
This is a nice fic! I like the plot and the characters are very in-character. Especially Hermione, with her bossiness and all. =)
There are some places where you're missing some commas, capitalizations, and other grammer things. I would consider getting a BETA to look over for these small mistakes, or just proofread a couple times before submitting. Usually, people make all kinds of grammer errors when typing compared to writing. Typos are just evil. :)
I thought the lyrics blended very well with the fic. It added a really nice level to the story. However, I didn't really like the whole "dance party" concept. Maybe just a date to a drink at Hogsmeade, or something. The whole "dance party" idea reminds me of those "balls that will never happen in HP but authors put them in anyways".
I really like the whole Lavender concept, except I think she might be a bit more giggly, rather than more mature than girlish...
Overall, though, I like your style, and nice songfic!Author's Response: Thanku so much that review meant alot cuz you were really honest & gave lots of advice!!
I know the typos really tick me off. But when I typed it on Word Perfect, I swear the typops weren't there. I'm actualy pretty good when it comes to grammer & stuff. But I corrected them and im waiting for it to get validated, thanks!
Thanks for tellin me 'bout the dance party thing. Yeah, it was kinda the first thing that came to mind. I might change that.
Hmmm. That's a really good point about Lavender too. I might have to add a few giggles in there, ahaha.
THANKS SO MUCH REVIEWS, LIKE YOURS MAKE ME HAPPY! Report Review
I thought it was very sweet! Some parts were a bit cliched, but in a good way!Author's Response: thanks!! Report Review
Since I said I would review on the forums... HERE I AM!!! TADA!
There were a lot of spelling errors, grammar errors (like missing periods) and sometimes you switched from italics to non-italics for the song lyrics. Pick one or the other - I say italics. I recommend that you either get a beta or put in through spell check.
It was a little rushed, but the frustration of Hermione was very nice. Ron seemed a little... OOC I guess you could say. Author's Response: OMG! I just went through it after you reviewed and I can't believe all the mistakes! Those were not there when I first submitted it!! I wonder if thats normal?? But thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
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