interesting.. not your regular maruader's story :) Report Review
That is disturbing...
I like the general idea though. It's very humorous but unfortunately it's kinda Out of Character... But otherwise, it's very original and creative.
SeverusLove Report Review
Dumbledore and voldy ?! ROTFL nice "couple" !! Man you rock !
P.S something about the love scenes tells me you are a tom boyish girl...Cuz It shows ! Dont mind if you are a dude pal... Just a gut feeling ! lol
Anyways good series.Keep writing . You definately got talent !Author's Response: Haha, thank you so much for your review =D
Yeppers, you got it right ! I AM a tomboyish girl! And Indian too, just noticed your penname so I thought I'd let ya know ;)
Aww, me talented! have some cookies!
:) Report Review
Really good so far! please update soon!
xx Report Review
Are going to do another chapter if stuck i can help!! Report Review
They had seen Voldemort. In a bikini. Bright pink. Posing like a supermodel. Now that was the most funniest scene!! I say 10/10 this far and is really good! Report Review
oh my, this is great!
please keep writing, its fantastic. Report Review
That's an interesting idea for a fic and quite well written, although you may want to do some grammar checks... Report Review
EK!!! this is amazing!! i want snape to see it lol. maybe James will secretly thank Sev for keeping an eye out for Harry and saving his life. lol this is absoloutly amazing!!! (lol spelling sucks tonight sorry) keep up the amazing work. will check for updates! much love and hugs!! Report Review
i really like this story keep up the fabulous job Report Review
I love the thick woolen socks bit! *giggles* Great fic for cheering you up! Report Review
So CUTE. and fun. and hilarious. ect. Report Review
It's sweet. I like it, and it's nice to see James talking to Harry without Harry going back in time or anything. Thanks for writing! It's very enjoyable. Report Review
That was very fun to read. Very cute and humorous and funny and other such things. Loved it. Report Review
CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!
-I AM WONDERING THOUGH WHAT THE MAP WILL REVEAL AS DUMBLEDORE'S CRUSH? IS IT GRINDELWALD, PARHAPS...MAYBE HER'S GROWN OUT OF THAT *SHUDDERS IN DISTURBING THOUGHT*
-ANYWAYS, THIS STORY IS ONE OF THE BEST I'VE READ...IT MADE ME CRINGE TO THE PART WHERE PADFOOT WAS TALKING TO HARRY...
=] Report Review
really interesting story
cant wait for the 4th chapter
but you kinda messed up in the last two chapters chronologically(time wise)
in the first chapter moony thanks hermione for not putting his name in the essay and that would have been in their third year
but in this chapter (2) you say ron is going out with lavender but that happens in their sixth year
so you might wanna fix that
but post the fourth chapter first Report Review
Very delightful. And Prong's message was so heartwarming : )
I'd like to know what the map says about Dumbledore! Very good idea! I wonder if Padfoot and Prongs would still be as cheeky when faced with Dumbledore? Report Review
This story is very funny. The comment Moony made about the library and the one Padfoot made about Ron's looks made me laugh. I was wondering in the last chapter when the story was set, but you've answered it in this chapter. I don't get why Lavender wouldn't explode there and then though, maybe there were too many people watching? But she doesn't seem like the type to be discreet. Anyway, good story. Report Review
Cool I really liked this story. it was really interesting,
P.s. sorry it took so long to review. I had testing all last week. Report Review
Hi! I'm reviewing this story as promised! First of all, congrats on thinking up such an idea. It promises a lot of fun! You have a lot of cute little expressions that really brings the whole piece to life. The only thing I would question is Hermione's reaction, which is slightly cliched. But I want to know what happens to Ron! So I'll read on... Report Review
interesting. clever idea.Author's Response: Thanks for R&Ring! Report Review
This chapter seemed rather distant for the others, yha it was good, but there were some major faults with it. I didn't like the fact that it was the same type of infomation as last time, but ti was nice. :) 7/10Author's Response: Well, the marauders specilaize in particular fields relating to which they give advices...it's going to be the same fields in every chapter. I'll try & make them more interesting though.
Thanks for your reviews :) Report Review
Hey, I'm here to review :)
Well this was somewhat of an odd story, since we already know all about the Marauders' Map and what it does in canon. I guess we never got to see Hermione or Ron using it though, so it was interesting to see what the Marauders had to say about them. I guess that book is where they got the idea for the map? And also for their name? I would have thought they'd have been creative enough to think of these things themselves without having to get the idea from a book, but I can see your reasoning.
The story moved a bit slow for me and also, why doesn't Ron just use the map right after Hermione? Why does he need to wait until tomorrow? The Marauders aren't going anywhere, right?
I saw grammar errors scattered throughout and here are a few:
"She was amazed, however, as she saw the red and ebony head bending over what seemed like a book." (The "as" should be changed to "when," so: "She was amazed when she saw the red and ebony heads)
‘What’re you two up to?’ she asked intriguingly, pulling a chair and the book to herself. (The word "intriguingly" doesn't sound right when it's used to describe a tone of voice; it should be changed to "she asked, intrigued, pulling a chair")
In some places where you had dialogue, you forgot to add in a comma at the end of it. Like here:
‘Wormtail’s so stupid’ Ron said.
Should be: "Wormtail's so stupid," Ron said.
So just keep an eye out for those! Good luck with the rest of the story, hope I helped.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the helpful review. Ok, everyone reads this chapter and is diappointed because of the grammar and punc. mistakes, which are not so frequent in the next chapters. So I'm going to re-submit this chappie after improving it. I'll keep all the points you mentioned in mind. I feel stupid now, lol.
Thanks and yes, you did help :)
I am back for more: D I like how each chapter is a different character, and we have a different talk with the marauders. I like that there was an advice column this time, I think that was cool. I liked the fact that Wormtail was in this one. I love the fact that Moony called Ron pathetic. I love padfoot, he is such a devil: D
Finally they kissed, well not really only on the check. Nicely done. I think that the part from prongs was too long and seemed to drag on.Author's Response: :D I'm glad you liked it overall. Sorry to heard you didnt like the part from prongsie though.
Thanks for reviewing !!! Report Review
I’m back! Sorry for the delay, I had to go and eat food etc..ach I’ve already told it to you on your profile anyway so I’m not going to waste valuable review space talking about that! :D
First of all, I have to say this chapter is a remarkable improvement from the other two. The others were good, but this has much more of an understanding about dialogue and you use the ‘show, not tell’ technique far more often, which is brilliant because it really brings the story to life. ^_^
However, before I continue saying how awesome this chapter is, I must just say one thing. Author’s notes in the story is not a good idea. I have to say, the second one was quite funny, but it completely detracts from the story and takes the reader out of ‘story world’ and back into ‘real world’ which is never good.
But anyway, once again really funny. But also quite sweet at times. I liked that Hermione and Ron were holding hands during the walk to Hogsmeade. I was just like ‘Awh!’ It was also nice to see it through Harry’s eyes as well, so it’s not always there but sometimes there are subtle hints that their relationship is changing. And this bit was also really sweet:
Sometimes I wish with all my heart I was there to teach you myself. Never mind, though. I have full faith in you. Just keep trying your best. My warm wishes and love are always with you
Just such a nice way for James to sign off to his son. After all the funny stuff with Remus and Sirius it was lovely ^_^
So Dumbledore is going to have the Marauder’s talk about his life next?? That should be good…ooh I’m really interested about the romantic interest…is it McGonagal? Nah…ok er I don’t know anyone else it could be though! Ooh I’m definitely looking forward to that!
Please let me know when the next chapter comes along! Just leave me a comment or OWL me or something :D Thank youuu, and awesome story!
xAuthor's Response: It's reviews like this that make me want to give out free chocolates to all people on this earth, even Voldy. =D Ack, sorry for the randomness!
Wow, thank you so much for these awesomely long and cheering reviews =] I'm ecstatic to hear that I'm improving. That's what we all aim for, isn't it? :)
Authors Notes must stop. I know. I've been told that before, now I am so going to stop! I'll remove it from this chappie also.
I am sooo relieved to find that you found the sweet stuff bearable. I've been told it's sickening, but I guess it depends on person to person. THANKS for liking all of it!!! The James part also, I felt very unsure about it, but well, thanks!
I hope you'll like the chapter on Dumby. It's much more detailed, "shows" more than it "says" and is half done :)
I will definitely will let you know when the chapter is up!
Thanks for the awesomly awesome reviews. You made my night! Since it's night time here :P
*Gives chocolate cake*
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection