Reading Reviews for My Last Breath
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by librarygirl1019 Waiting

9th September 2010:
That was easily the best writing I have seen on this site. I saw that you planed this to be a One Shot thing, but you really should writie more to it, maybe give a little background or something, but this was amazing. Again, I really liked it and hope you write more.

Author's Response: Thank you kindly for the wonderful compliment. The funny thing is that I wrote that one shot years ago and recently revised it according to the current level of my writing. It's cool how you advance in just a few years.

 Report Review

Review #2, by DemetersChild Waiting

3rd August 2010:
Aww, that was cute and sad and bittersweet.

"Time passed like wet sand through an hour glass..." -- I really loved that line.

This was well written. Nice descriptions. You captured the pain she was feeling very well. And it was interesting to imagine a darker future than many of the other stories portray it to be.

I think the only thing that really bothered me was not knowing the rest of their relationship and just seeing the happy ending. It's like reading the last page of a book before you even start it. But then, I suppose sometimes that's what one-shots are for. ^^

Well done!

Oh, and congrats. You are officially my 800th review!


Author's Response: Alright! 800! Thanks for the feedback! The funny thing is that I actually wrote this way back before the 6th book came out and I just recently re-edited it. Glad it turned out! I haven't decided whether or not I want to expand it though.

 Report Review

Review #3, by Jenny Waiting

2nd August 2010:
This is so well writen and beautiful. I love it and the story! You must write something to go after it! This is great writing and I love the mystery

Author's Response: I didn't really plan on writing a second part to it...but I suppose if I were to write something to go after, it would probably be in Draco's point of view...hmm. This could work...

 Report Review

Review #4, by luv_addictGxJ Waiting

24th July 2010:
Aw...Sweet and dark.Very good. I loved this.

Author's Response: Thank you kindly for reading!

 Report Review

Review #5, by Salogel Waiting

24th July 2010:
Aw... that was so sweet! I liked it a lot! You had a couple of spelling errors, but other than that it was great! Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I corrected those spelling errors. Appreciate the feedback.

 Report Review

Review #6, by lady_gawyn Waiting

17th December 2006:
good work, ma'am (or sir!)

I really liked the story: so sad, but with a happy ending. You managed not to rush the action, and the description was beautiful.

BUT. Can I suggest some improvements?

There are a few little spelling mistakes that might want fixing, although overall your spelling is good. In the grammar department we're all good too, although I do find it vaguely irritating when people throw ellipsis (dot dot dots) around like confetti :). Also, are you sure the characters should talk like this: ". . .because I have waited in torment just as long as you have. . ."? Sounds a little bit medieval.

Great story, great description: never stop writing! 8/10

Author's Response: Thank you for your comment! I really appreciate the advice!

 Report Review

Review #7, by luvnikki Waiting

10th December 2006:
"-the wind swimming through her hair" that was a particularly nice line. What can I say... very beautiful written story. :)

Author's Response: Thank you kindly! This one-shot was actually a spur of the moment kind of story, so I'm surprised that it turned out so well.

 Report Review

Review #8, by clara boomba Waiting

2nd November 2006:
this first chapter gave me goosebumps !

Author's Response: :D Glad to hear it!

 Report Review

Review #9, by juliethemuggle Waiting

19th October 2006:
Aw, that was SO cute!! Strong words too. it was very powerful, i enjoyed it. Well Done! ~juliethemuggle

Author's Response: Thank you kindly! I was rather proud of it myself!

 Report Review

Review #10, by CCC Waiting

18th October 2006:
Oh, that was good. I teared up a bit. Good job.

Author's Response: Obliged...thank you for reading!

 Report Review

Review #11, by slytherinroyalty Waiting

18th October 2006:
that was soooo cute!

Author's Response: I do what I can. :D

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login