Wow just wow! This story is so emotional! I read the first chapter and just had to go on to the next! I made myself stop to leave a review before I keep going!
The first chapter had me practically in tears, and that is hard to do! The agony James was in while he remembered Lily was heartbreaking enough! But when he held Harry for the first time I nearly lost it! Especially when he manged some form of a smile for his son.
One CC I would have about the first chapter is that some of the sentences when James was remembering Lily ran on a bit too much. I think breaking them up some would help.
This second chapter was not what I expected it to be, and I liked that. I like how you did not just jump right into what happened after the hospital, but instead took us back to a few years into their marriage after Harry was born. You did not make their marriage perfect which makes it more real.
Lily was still a know it all who managed to put James down on the occasion and not trust him to be responsible. Then there is James still acting like he is back in Hogwarts from time to time, admitting he is still figuring out how to be an adult.
This take on Lily and James relationship is refreshing and as I mentioned before more real to life. Yes their love was very fairy tale like, but relationships are work and you did a good job of showing that.
Great job! I am excited for the rest of the story! Report Review
GAH PLEASE DON'T SAY YOU'VE TOTALLY ABANDONED THIS! IT'S SO GOOD! Report Review
I'm not usually very comfortable with AU fics but this is amazing, I keep coming back to re-read chapters, your grasp of James and the marauders is wonderfully deep and the relationship between all the characters is the best portrayal I've seen or at least the one that fitted with me best. another chapter would be amazing. I particularly enjoy it if you elaborated on why they decided Remus was the traitor or more of James and Lilly's parenting misadventures and disagreements. Report Review
Just finished the chapter and I hadn't got a chance to review because I was so eager to read all of the chapters. This is a fantastic story!!! from the summery I was not expecting it to be so good. The story is so captivating and intriguing that I could not stop reading it, especially considering how unusual the idea is. Can't wait until you post the next chapter!! Report Review
heey will you ever continue the story? please do !!!
it is really awesome ! cheers, S Report Review
aw love it ! very good Report Review
I can't wait to read some more! Report Review
I love this!
I started a similar one ages ago, where James dies but Lily is alive... i might look it out.
yours is perfect and works much better
My favourite bit so far is
Sirius grasped desperately at him, hugging him fiercely as though he’d be quite content with never letting go and only backed off when James let out an involuntary groan of pain
I dont know why but its so touching.
10/10 Report Review
Okay. Its hard to make me cry. Like, REALLY hard. I didn't even cry at my grandma's funeral, and I found her dead . . . but I'm brought to tears everytime I read this chapter. There's so many powerful emotions . . . it's over whelming. Report Review
wow... thats all I can say... absolutely... bloody fantastic... The description you used in this chapter was amazing, just reading this chapter I was bawling, I could feel the pain and sadness as clearly as if it had been my own. keep writing you great! It's hard to come by some one who can use descriptive writing so well you can make someone feel a characters pain, can't wait to move on to the next chapter Report Review
absolutely wonderfu, a concept that has never occured to me as a possiblity.I think this is going t be a fantastic story, please make it a full story!!! Report Review
oh god, i've just read te first chapter and i'm already teary-eyed. I'm not sure if i have the guts to read further :O Report Review
This is FANTASTIC! I'll be reading the rest soon for sure! Report Review
I think this is really good
But Im finding myself getting a bit bored with it
I do love though don't get me wrong
I know...Im coming across really confusing
Anyway keep on writting
*hugs* Report Review
that was so sad. :'[
im like crying here.
57376856887/10 Report Review
Oh my God! What are you and WHY haven't I found this story before? It is very well written, especially the characterisation of the Marauders. Even Peter (the part where Lily has the baby and Peter is all awestruck). Very typical reaction from him. I also like Lily and James' occasional sniping, very in character with the war background; and James not being home so much. You have a way with words. I of course, am DEEPLY indebted to you for your noble rescue of our beloved Padfoot. I mean, what happened to the marauders was just depressing. Thanks for cheering me up about it :)
I mean, I'm practically considering regarding this as canon... Anyway I have a teeny weeny tendency to ramble (didn't notice it didja), so I shall beg my leave and sit here waiting for you to dish out the remaining chapters (especially with the James / Sirius recon). Report Review
oh my good golly gracious... that was frightening. it's just so sad! good job. wow. depressing! poor james! at least harry still has a father though... 10/10! Report Review
:is bawling her eyes out:
but i must carry on; for such a fanon plot (which i usually hate) this is amazing. :continues: Report Review
I have a very important question! Who is that guy on your banner that's supposed to be James? I would love to use his pic on my still to be made banner!!
Cheers, Lily M.E Potter Report Review
I'm getting into the habit of repeating my facorite quotes, so here's the one for this chapter: 'James Potter: the mad pervert.' I loved it.
I loved this one too: 'didnâ€™t care for a future as a perverted old bachelor with loads of cats and an eventual death after choking in a hairy mint he found behind the couch'. It made me laugh when I got to the hairy mint bit.
Having said that, great chapter. I am so sad that this is the last one though! But it is probably for the better, because I have run out of skittles.
Going completely off topic (has any of this review been on topic? I think not) go sydney. boo melbourne. sorry, formalities there.
update soon! I'll be waiting! Report Review
'Dumbledore was deliberately assigning them missions together for his own nefarious purposes' I have to say, this sounds so like DUmbledore.
I have to say that this chapter disappionted me a little. I don't know why, but maybe I was just sad that it ended so soon.
good chapter apart from that though. It has really got me thinking about how everyone portrays Lily and James as the perfect couple, but here you are bravely saying that they hadn't gotten on all that well half the time, which is probably more realistic given their history.
was that really all one sentence? No wonder I'm failing English... Report Review
just a spelling mistake in the ninth paragraph. 'Pomphrey' should be 'Pomfrey'.
also, I just have to mention this bit: 'when they went to Liverpool to stalk the greatest band that ever lived'. All my friends look at my really weird when I say that I have the Beatles on my iPod, because 'they're so old!'. The only person who doesn't say that has Queen on hers. hehe...
andyway, that got REALLY off topic. it was a great chapter, and very sad and emotion filled. For some reason though (and don't ask me why) I feel that you didn't write Petunia right. But don't take my word for it, that's just my gut feeling.
eml.xx Report Review
I was grinning like a madman after harry's birth. I don't really know why though...
Having said that, this is the only chapter that has seen me smile. Not because it's bad writing of course, no, it's amazing writing, but just because it is so sad!
I'm glad this was a break from it.
eml.xx Report Review
just another question (which isn't totally off topic this time)
in this chapter you say 'Remus he had believed to be a traitor'... why did he believe Remus to be a traitor? I'm kind of confused.
Geez, I'm terrible aren't I? I can remember what colour Healer's robes are, but can't remember the big things...
eml.xx Report Review
this was a great chapter... but I have noticed that you don't always respond to your reviews. I can understand why, but I just get such a buzz out of it that I was wondering how on earth you could go without! Sorry, off topic.
lovely. I am really looking forward to the next flashback though. I think I like those the best. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection