Reading Reviews for To Love a Death Eater
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by JolieFille252 Charlie: There Were Fireworks In The Sky

9th January 2007:
Nice start; I like how the prologue ended. Dramatic and angsty...not sure how I feel about that - I'm not big on emo...but in any case, it's well written. A few grammar things here and there, and I notice you do a lot of little one-liners. They're nice, but I'd limit the number of times you use them. On the whole though, this is a really nice story and again, it's well written. :)

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Review #2, by 0MFGZshes__DEADLY Charlie: There Were Fireworks In The Sky

2nd January 2007:
Well, I have to say, I find that the train of thought in this is very scattered. Or maybe it's not and I only think that because it's nearly 2 in the morning.

Nonetheless, I like it. Your writing is very unformal. It makes your story more... personal. It's a recount that feels real. Although muddled it may seem, it's original.

I can't wait for the continuation.

Author's Response: Thanks! Later, as the chapters progress the vagueness will disappear, I swear!!

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Review #3, by 0MFGZshes__DEADLY Prologue

2nd January 2007:
Woah. Intense. The way she talks about her life is really vague. And yet it's really intriguing. It's a really interesting start. I hope the rest of your story is just as captivating.

Author's Response: The vagueness is because I thought for a person who has made mistakes and is not ready to forgive themselves for making them (in a nutshell, Ada) grasps whatever they are thinking from their surroundings and link one thing to another during their last few moments. So, the events have no pattern, thoughts are random.

Thanks for reviewing!!!


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Review #4, by SexyDoorFrames Charlie: There Were Fireworks In The Sky

30th December 2006:
I loved the way it's written, in such depth and detail which is amazing. I loved the crumbled line, it was really sweet.

She's an non mary sue, which is really good, others cannot pull it off.

Really good chapter and I think i shall add this story to my favs.

Author's Response: Thanks!!!! I'm glad you are enjoying this! Thanks again!!

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Review #5, by SexyDoorFrames Prologue

30th December 2006:
This was wonderfully well written. A couple of awkward spots, but nothing major.

This chapter captures your attention which is good. It's short, but hey, it's only the start (:

Author's Response: Thanks, The awkward spots are being worked on!!!

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Review #6, by ginnyp Charlie: There Were Fireworks In The Sky

29th December 2006:
Wow. This was a breathtaking chapter. The imagery was just amazing. The only thing I have to say is that we didn't learn much about her past, and this felt more like a continuation of the first chapter, and not a separate entity.

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you understood the imagery part, as I'm damn bad at it! The first three chapters are a continuation... it's the fourth that unfolds all events... but I'm not letting anything on, read and find out!!;)

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Review #7, by ginnyp Prologue

29th December 2006:
This was really well written. You had a lot of different ways of describing something and bringing the mood to the scene. I'll have to say 9/10, simply because there were a couple of awkward spots, but nothing that was terribly noticeable.

Author's Response: Thanks, I'll work on those awkward spots ;)

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Review #8, by wild4harryp01231 Charlie: There Were Fireworks In The Sky

27th December 2006:
I'm baack! :P I'm reviewing as I read (as I did with last chapter), and so excuse any random-ness. Now, on with the review!!!

I loved the chapter summary. It rocks. :P I liked how you phrase the 'being drunk' part. I've never been drunk (as I'm a 14-year-old, law-abiding citizen, thank you very much :P), but the description seems accurate, especially since it is firewhisky. I love the 'And I crumbled' line at the end of the first part. It's great. I loved it. Also, the fragments are used extremely effectivly. It was pulled off nicely, and I realized that you were going for the effect, and not just gramatically un-enlightened. (Not that I think you would be.)

‘Look at the sky. It is so different-’to his horror, he saw Ada stumble and then fall over the boat into the lake. should be 'Look at the sky. It is so different--' To his horror..." I also like this chapter. It makes me wonder, and I really like it. You get more information from it, and it clears up some of the confusion, but not all. That's a good strategy; it keeps readers reading. Also, I like how you have Charlie playing the piano (right?); that seems really Charlie-ish in my mind for some reason or another.

Also, congrats on creating a non Mary-Sue OC! Not many are good at that, but you pulled it off nicely. But just make sure that Ada doesn't become so flawed that it, in itself, is Mary-Sue. Good job! I like it! I hope this review was helpful, keep writing, and happy new year!!!

~*~KeNzIe~*~

Author's Response: Ada wouldnt be a Mary-Sue, that's for sure! And thanks, I wrote this chapter mostly for imagery, the intention was never to give away the mystery. I'm glad that the mystery is being maintained!!! I'm 15 too, I guess the drunk part was made up, but then if it seems real, there isnt much to say, is there? Thanks for the review!!!!

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Review #9, by wild4harryp01231 Prologue

27th December 2006:
Hi! You asked me to review your story, so here I am. Excuse any random-ness, which I am quite prone to. So, on with the review! I like the title. It is really cool. I love how you keep us guessing, and have us wondering. The elipses (…) are not needed in that number; three is plenty. 'rand' should be 'rang'.

I like this. It is, again, something that I have never really given much thought to, but I'm beginning to enjoy reading stories that suprise me. So I liked this. It is a bit short for my taste, but, then again, it is a prologue. I also love how you keep us guessing. The readers wonder whether they'll live, and what drove this girl to do this. It is really good, and, I like it loads. It is gramatically better than 'A Buisness Affair'. I hope this review was helpful; off to the next chapter! Good luck, happy new year, and update soon!

~*~KeNzIe~*~

Author's Response: The elipses were a word doc error, I just noticed it! I'll correct it and the 'rand' too ;) Thanks for pointing them out! Thanks!!

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Review #10, by ElissandrAnne Charlie: There Were Fireworks In The Sky

14th December 2006:
Ok, I have a question. You wrote parts in the first person, being Ada (I like her name, by the way) and parts in the third person, and most of the time, they are from Ada's point of view. Why not just write the whole in the first person. But maybe it has to do with it being just the beginning and the next chapters will answer that question.
I liked the contrast between the fireworks - romantic - and what is happening. Well done!

Anne


Author's Response: you got my point. it was done intentionally. so that as chapters develop, the importance of a third person narrative becomes clear. though it's bettter to play safe and carry on the first person, i felt the entire intensity of the moments couldnt be captured with it (no offence to the style, just my shortcoming) and i'm glad you noticed it!!!

Thanks;)


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Review #11, by ElissandrAnne Prologue

14th December 2006:
Wow, that chapter sure catches the reader's attention. So many unanswered question: who is she? What has she done? Is she as bad as she thinks she is? I guess you're going to answer them.
You intertwined past and present, and yet the story is still clear. Good job!

Anne

Author's Response: Thanks! Who is Ada? I really dont know for myself. maybe she is someone deep down in me... What has she done? now that's something you'll have to read and find out;) Is she as bad? well, depends which position you are in, lol. :)

Thanks!!!


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Review #12, by Breakaway615 Prologue

14th November 2006:
It was very, very well written. A little short for my liking, but nonetheless, amazing. I don't really care about the length right now, considering how well written and detailed it is. It's very good. You should be quite proud of yourself.

I can't wait to read more. I am looking forward to it!
-Liz

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The next chapter is up and it's short too. I cant give out much in the first three chapters but the fourth one is over 3000 words already. *hugs and cookies* :)

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Review #13, by Elivania Prologue

9th November 2006:
Wow. What emotion! What incredible description. I have no critique for you. Amazing job.

Author's Response: Thanks!! I'm glad I pass the test! Thanks for the description part, my English teacher loves pointing out my failure to describe appropriately. Ha! I'd love seeing her face now! *hugs* :)

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Review #14, by XxXCrookshanksXxXP3 Prologue

7th November 2006:
OMG, This is amazing, how could you only have three reviews! Wow I love it, are you updating or is this a one shot? I hope not, I love it and can't wait to continue. 10/10

Michaelax

Author's Response: Thanks! As for having four reviews, well I really dont know what to say. And, yeah I am updating this so it isnt a one-shot. One-shots require depth and a lot of decisiveness to put it all in a chapter. I guess I lack that! So there you go. *hugs and cookies for the 10/10*

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Review #15, by lollipop monkee Prologue

7th November 2006:
that was really great you have just the right amount of detail and i never lost my interest. i can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the compliment and the review! The next chapter is up for validation so it should be there in a day or two. *hugs*

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Review #16, by luckistars Prologue

6th November 2006:
You got a real view of the main character, I'm assuming Ada. I think you need to work a little on your summary, it's a little too straightforward.

You could tell how the character was feeling, and though there could have been a little improvement now and then, I overall enjoyed it.

Nice work.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. As for the summary, I guess I better start brainstorming!

P.S. I hate writing them :)


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Review #17, by lostmoon Prologue

12th October 2006:
there's a lot to be said for mystery...i like it, i like it a lot

Author's Response: Thanks a lot!!! I really love that! As for the mystery, well it just increases! you really lifted my spirit. Thanks.

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