Reading Reviews for Faults
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by katekarson As the Sun Sets

10th April 2007:
This is very artsy to read, but really enjoyable, and it seems to work, despite Lily/Snape being such a non-canon pairing - one of my favourite pairings, but still pretty unappliable to the books, in most cases. This story actually makes it work, properly, and that's something to be proud of.

I love your style of writing, by the way.

Oh, and what you said about this being your first story? What better way to start than to make a splash with something so good?

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much!! I'm thrilled that you like it, and so flattered :)

I'm glad you liked it!


 Report Review

Review #2, by lran14dave As the Sun Sets

18th March 2007:
It was OK. I liked the end. It was too short though.

Author's Response: Ah yes, I unfortunately never seem to write stories as long as I would like them. Thanks for your input.

 Report Review

Review #3, by Arithmancy_Wiz As the Sun Sets

15th December 2006:
This was really quite well done. I am surprised how much I liked it, despite the pairing. Your spin on the relationship is really what seals the deal. I’m a canon girl myself, but you managed to push the envelope on this, making it seem plausible in its own way. There are a lot of strong elements here. The grammar and flow were very good and the perspective was also nicely done. Switching back and forth so much in such a short piece can be troublesome but you made it work very well. Being able to include other familiar characters is also a great way to tie a piece like this into the larger Potter world. Finally, I really liked the ending. It makes for a twist of sorts. It hints at an explanation as to why Lily would suddenly agree to be with James. It wasn’t that she suddenly grew to like him, but instead the feelings were always there and now the roadblock had been removed.

I’ll offer only a new small nitpicks…First, it would have been nice if the opening scene had a more solid setting. Establishing a place for this meeting would have helped set the scene a bit more, make it a stronger opening perhaps. Second, I would have liked a bit more of an explanation as to why Lily felt responsible for saving Snape. Was it because of James or just because of something inside her? She really allows herself to be degraded by Snape and it would have helped to have more insight into why.

Thanks for sharing. Nice work!


Author's Response: Thank you! I actually saw the ending a little differently; they weren't supposed to have just gotten together at the ending, but I'm glad that this can be interpreted in a different way. You're definitely onto something, though--it was a roadblock removed.

I can see how a setting would improve the first scene, and also how a justification for Lily's behavior is in order. I will definitely work on that, thanks for the input!


 Report Review

Review #4, by katyjoy_777 As the Sun Sets

1st November 2006:
Wow, I was amazed at how well this story turned out. I didn't expect a Snape/Lily ship to work, but you made it seem plausible. The end is great, by the way, I like the way you use words and your vocabulary.

Author's Response: Thank you so much :) I'm always shocked that people like this... sometimes I don't think this story should see the light of day, and I'm being completely honest. Thank you though :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by jezz rivett As the Sun Sets

1st November 2006:
awww, who thought Severus Snape didn't have a heart, that was a good peice of writing i liked it!

Author's Response: Thank you :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by secret_soul As the Sun Sets

23rd October 2006:
A very good read.
I loved the pace of this story, especially. The use of formatting to leave a distinction between his thoughts and feelings and the reality was also very good. You have a powerful writing style which is intense, but not to the point where it actually draws from the story. I particualry liked this line: She was unclean. She wasn’t pure. She wasn’t his. I love how it characterizes Lily in Snape's eyes.
Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it, the pace was something that kind of barely registered but was actually important. Thanks for the review :)

 Report Review

Review #7, by misshermione As the Sun Sets

9th October 2006:
Great work! I found your story captivating and very realistic. The mechanics were solid, and the characters developed enough for a one-shot. Keep it up. :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much :)

 Report Review

Review #8, by Princess Lily Snape As the Sun Sets

3rd October 2006:
I am a snape/lily shipper (*gasp* really? wouldn't have guessed) and I have to say this is very different from the rest. I'll give you 10/10 for being really original and writing very very well :-)

Author's Response: Hehe, thank you :) Yes, it is very different; I've never read a Lily/Snape before but this was a stroke of inspiration maybe? This is completely new for me, glad you like it :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by Jenna As the Sun Sets

2nd October 2006:
ok wow. this is the first snape/lily fanfict ever. and i am disgusted. not by your writing! but by the couple! ur writing was awesome1 loved it! u should try to write draco/hermione or something if u like the forbidden love thing.
Now I LOVED how u made it so Lily was still 100% loving James (mentally) and i love that u made Snape have the bad ending and Lily live happly ever after w/ James.
thats all and loved it! (ur writing not the couple!)

Author's Response: Hahaha, thank you I think :) I just want to make one thing clear: this is not forbidden love, Lily did not love Snape but rather wanted to save him. I'm not sure how Draco/Hermione would work out, but hey! You never know :)

Thank you so much for the compliments on the writing. The intention was to stay in canon not to give Snape a bad ending: I never EVER intended this to be Lily loving Snape over James, but the intention wasn't to hurt Snape either, to be vindicitive.


Thank you so much for all your compliments :) I'm glad you liked the writing at least.


 Report Review

Review #10, by Priya Patil As the Sun Sets

2nd October 2006:
damn.. that was deep, very emotional...

Author's Response: Thanks :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by GenaloveRE As the Sun Sets

2nd October 2006:
Lucky me, I had the pleasure of reading another lovely one-shot. The characters were portrayed vividly, and there is a certain delicacy to the story. Well enjoyed, and it held my attention.

Gena

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much :) I was worried about the characters. So glad, thank you, Gena!!

 Report Review

Review #12, by juls As the Sun Sets

2nd October 2006:
Truly moving. Good job. juls

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much!! I'm so excited that I got a review!! I'm glad you liked it, it was such a leap of faith for me, I'm SO relieved that someone liked it. Haha, thanks again :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login