ah! no that is so sad!! padma dead? interesting circumstances...i really have to find out why that happened to her!! great chapter! really well written, the emotion and sadness that parvati and also lavender experienced was very realistic. i wasnt sure if i'd like this story, it turned out to be very different to what i thought it'd be like, but in a good way! you are a tallented writer with a great imagination! keep it coming and update soon!!!
rose :)Author's Response: Thanks. Yeah, from the outside...you'd think it'd be different...but I changed it as Lavender becomes more mature. Report Review
ooohh!! i was thinking at the beginning, isnt uranda the girl in the lake, and why is there another attack, but in hogsmede, and what happened to lavender? but then it all came clear at the end of the chapter! interesting structure! :)Author's Response: Thanx! Report Review
wow! ok, neville wanting to kill lavender and stabbing her with a knife...hummm...just not neville! but this story, despite being totally crazy and au, is really well written, and i like it! :)Author's Response: Well, I made Neville really get into the fight and he lost control...so yeah it's not supposed to sound like Neville...it's just he wanted Bellatrix so badly that his emotions took control. Report Review
hehe! i am loving all your imaginative ideas in this story! good work! :)Author's Response: Thanks! Report Review
really good witing! :) and i'm glad lavenders calmed down now, her charcter's got more realistic! interesting prophesy, by the way! lol! the mans blood and maidens eyeballs! nice! Author's Response: yeah I needed to come up with a plot. Report Review
wow lavender seriously needs to control her emotions! this is good so far, but i have to say that all that violence from lavender was a bit ott...a lot ott actually, even though i can understand her being angry and jealous of hermione... still, apart from that, good writing! oh, and also Ginny wouldnt be in their dorm, she's in the year below! off to read the next chapter...
Author's Response: Well...she's Lavender. So she kinda is a teenager looking for a catfirhgt of some sort. You know...well she'll do anything to keep her man...more like Hermione's...but she later learns that it's worthless...so thanks for the review! Report Review
That was a pretty good chapter, but not as interesting as the last. However, the ending of the chapter didn't seem to move te story along or stick to the plot very well.
On the other hand, you took my advice and improved your grammar! Or maybe you didn't even see my advice and improved on your own. Anyway, it was better!Author's Response: Thanks! Report Review
Cool. I just read the whole thing so far without stopping, and it was interesting. I'm looking forward to reading more and finding out where the story goes.
The only piece of advice I have is about grammer. Try to stick with the same verb tense. You tend to switch from past to present a lot. Just keep it in past tense the whole time and you should be fine. Also, watch out for the few misspelled words that pop up every now and then.
Other than that, I really like it and hope you will update soon! Report Review
Very good. I look forward to more. Report Review
Great chapter. But Harry is going to be upset at her I think. I don't think he would want DA members throwing around AK's. Not to mention that since she just used an unforgivable in public view even in a battle there is a small chance that they might think is not justified and Azkaban might be in her future, if she survives that is.
I know Lavender is a main character her, but Lavender killing Bellatrix is a bit much. She's Neville's. But you can create a DA for Lavender to want revenge on. You know kill Parvati in the battle or something.
But I like your writing style. Author's Response: Yeah I know, she lost her temper...after she saw Uranda again, she felt something...so yeah. Thanks for the review. Report Review
This is pretty good. I like how Lavender is slowly coming into her own. She's very independent isn't she. For such a gregarious girl she is very quiet about what is happending to her, which makes sense bevause most outgoing people in reality have a deep shyness.
I love the water spirit. Author's Response: Thanx for the review! Yeah...she's kinda...ditzy, but she's slowly growing out of it as weird things are happening to her. The water spirit, I just made up at the top of my head. The fifth chapter is waiting for validation, and she sees Uranda again, but out of the water. You'll see. Things get pretty drastic in the next chapter. Report Review
Hey, my name is Shadow and I am a staff member at Behind this Mask... (www.freewebs.com/shadowxsong/behindthismask/index.html) Anyway, I am here to find some stories that are worth being entered into the competition and I think yours is one :D I really enjoyed reading it. If you are interested or just want some more info, then drop by at the site. We have tons of catergories open and it's really quick to enter, plus you'll recieve a banner which you can display on your story here at HPFF (as it is within the size limit) or just on a website/myspace I really hope you consider entering. Hope to hear from you soon. ShadowAuthor's Response: I might consider it. Thanx for reading! Report Review
AWESOME CHAPPIE!!! :) Hurry and update please!!!! Oh PLEASE!!!!! SOOOOO AWESOME!! WEll WRITTEN!! REally !!!!! :DAuthor's Response: I WILL! lol don't worry! Report Review
Very well done. I think you rushed the ending a bit and you need a beta reader for some grammar and flow issues here and there, but mostly a very well done and interesting beg
DA Jones aka Ydnas OdellAuthor's Response: Yeah, I know. I was in a hurry. I'm really busy, and my grammar isn't the best because I'm only 11. Report Review
Neat! It really is! GREAT story!!Author's Response: Thanx! I also love the banner, you're the best. Report Review
Cool nice story, never read one about Lavender before - can't wait for nxt chapter! RhonaAuthor's Response: Thanx! Don't worry. The next chapter will come out soon! Actually the 2nd chapter is waiting for validation. Report Review
I am so glad you got your first chapter posted. Keep writing! Love you!Author's Response: Hi Aunt Michelle! Glad you like it! See you around! Don't worry, I'll write another chapter, I'm just working on others. You'll see it soon! Luv ya! Report Review
hey nessa! i love your story!! its awesome so far. wow, lavender really needs to be brought down a peg. go hermione!!! keep it up. i can't wait for the next chapter.Author's Response: Hey Kenzie! Thanx for the review! The next chapter will come out soon! Report Review
I can get you a banner!!! Visit my author's page!!!!Author's Response: Thank you! I'll visit it! Report Review
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