aww! So cute! I was nervous for a moment there when Lily tried to leave... I'm glad things worked out. Beautiful fic. Loved it. I love your banners. Do you get them at TDA??? Report Review
Aw! that was the sweetest thing I've ever read!Author's Response: haha it was a really old peice of work but thank you! Report Review
Aww...that was sweet! I loved it! No typos or grammar errors, as far as I could tell. Very well-done!Author's Response: thank you! yeah, thanks to spell check on word, i'm pretty much covered. Report Review
OMg this is so adorable. Good job on it.
Glo.Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
totally romantic!Author's Response: I know, isn't it??? -hearts- Thank you! Report Review
That was very sweet. You portrayed Lily's jitters very well. I like the humour you placed into this fic. So many pre-marriage fics have it all fluffy or angsty, never funny. Great job. Your descriptions are well done too.
*Eli*Author's Response: Aww!!! Thank you! All the time, I never really try to put humor in! I try to make it like something that they really would say, and it always ends up funny, it seems!
Marriage fics are actually harder to write then I had expected... Too much emotion and stuff. Thank you so much Eli! Report Review
Very sweet. I can picture the whole scene as I'm reading it. Well done!Author's Response: Awww!!! Thank you so much!!! You are so sweet!!!
I'm happy you liked it. Report Review
Aww, that is sad that she wanted to leave him. The ending is cute and sweet, though. I thought it was Sirius watching Lily at first.Author's Response: It was just something that I thought could possibly happen. And the ending is supposed to be sweet. It's supposed to be one of the happies moments of their lives. Report Review
Awe that is soo cute!!
It's totally going into my favs!
Give you 10/10!!
~HLJ~Author's Response: Ohh!!! Thank you so much!!!
Why does everyone say it's cute?
Thank you! Report Review
*sniffle* That's was absolutely amazing. I am so happy that I read this. Now, I love how you kept everyone in perfect character and I can actually imagine Lily running off like that. My fave part was at the end, when she said "Yeah whatever". It holds a lot of meaning; they can still joke about things. The seeing the bride before the wedding fits well because they ended up dying to Lord Voldemort. That does put a damper on things, yet the wedding is a very happy thing. I really love this one-shot. Great job hun!!! = D 1,000,000/10
~Liadan Lightflower~Author's Response: Oh thank you so much!!!
I didn't know how to keep them in character, so I made them act how I would act if I was in that situation.
I could totally imagine Lily running, that's why I wrote it. She can be nervous, can't she?
The whole "Yeah Whatever" thing was just like... her brushing it off, making a smooth landing. And she could only do that in front of her true love, James.
The wedding was happy, and well... In my mind, James and Lily did not die, it's a sham... ITS A LIE!!! THEY ARE FEEDING US PROPAGANDA EVERYONE!!! Yeah, I know, stupid James probably killed them.
Rather sad isn't it???
Thank you so much, Whoa, 1 million out of 10??? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! Report Review
I think it is pretty much impossible to read a story like this without going Awww when you reach the end of it. It’s just a gushy pile of fluffy goodness. It’s a cute, simple idea—perfect for a feel-good one-shot. That being the case, however, doesn’t mean the story shouldn’t still be fully fleshed out, which is my major critique here. I think the overall concept and your general mechanics (minus a few grammar things) here were good, but the story moved really quickly...only sort of glossed over the topic. It was hard for me to get a true sense of what was really bothering Lily. I got that she was having seconds thought, but why? Was she afraid they were too young? Afraid James wasn’t the one? I thought it was sweet when James’s mother checked in on her, but where were her parents? Were they already dead at this point, and if so, did that tie in somehow? Without really understanding what made Lily want to run, it was hard to understand how James was so easily able to calm her fears and convince her to proceed with the wedding.
Sorry, hope this isn’t coming of harsh. I really think this is a cute story and I think if you dived into your characters’ heads just a bit more (which I know is tough in a one-shot) it would be even better!
Thanks for sharing your story with me.
Author's Response: Don't worry, I'm offended, I'm happy that people can give my critiques!!!
Yeah, I know, it was really just supposed to be a cute, heart-felt, lovey-dovey story. I really didn't know why she didn't want to get married... It just kinda popped into my head... What if she had second thoughts?
Once again, thank you for the review, I really appreciate it! Report Review
lol.........that story is cuteAuthor's Response: Oh, thank you!!! I'm happy you liked it. Report Review
This was cute, poor Lily and the wedding gitters! I understand what that must be like and how hard that must be on her.
May I say the only problem I found, I did find that James and Lily could be a little OOC... only because of that whole 'I love you,' thing all the time, they seemed too cute and cuddly, not like the Lily and James I am used to reading. Prehaps cut a little more of it out and make them a little bit tougher. Or maybe this is your style in writting the James and Lily we dont know so well?
Anyway the plot and length is just fine, same with spelling and everything. I don't know what else to say but maybe people decriptions onto people a little more?
Otherwise its all good.
Almost_witchAuthor's Response: Wedding jitters are never good!!!
Anyways, the whole lobey-dovey thing is well... Its their wedding. And yeah, I know they are totally OOC in this one, but I wanted to let people know that true love is eternal.
Okay, your critique makes a whole lot of sense, thank you! Report Review
I saw this story yesterday and read it but didnt review. But im reviewing now. I liked it it was so sweet and well written. Since i really do see Lily running if she wants to. But yea. It was a sweet fic and your a great writer so 10/10Author's Response: Oh, that's okay, thank you for the review!!!
I'm happy that you liked it... and thank you so much for the "well-written" and the "great writer" part.... I'm going to have a really inflated ego today!!!
You're way too sweet... Report Review
*in the opening lines, 'worse' should be 'worst' ;)
"...I should have set a dungbomb off in the middle of the ceremony, just for old times sake.” Sirius Black joked loudly. oh sirius...lol
aww, cute ending. :P this was interesting; I'm used to reading (and writing) more abstract one-shots with less activity going on. I liked the storyline you had going here, but am wondering if it would've worked better as a short story...maybe spread over 2-3 chapters...make more room to explore the *reasons* behind lily's flip-out, giving a background for it and such. but in any case, this was a nice little story; good job!Author's Response: Whoopsies, Spelling error... :P
Thank you... I really couldn't think of anything more to make it 2-3... Why, I barely could make it into the oneshot. Anyways, thank you for the critique and the review!!! Report Review
i love it, 10/10Author's Response: Oh wow!!! Thank you so much!!! Whoa a 10/10?? I was expecting more like 7-8/10 or something... Report Review
oh, how sweet!Author's Response: Thank you for your review~ Report Review
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww how sweet LOL it was goodAuthor's Response: Thank you!!! Thats the kind of reaction I was hoping for!!! (I think) Thanks for the review. Report Review
it was really cute, i hearted it.
~*~♥~*~Author's Response: It was cute? LOL. Thanks for the review! Report Review
That's cute. Did you post about this on the forums asking help for it? Because it seems familiar.... Anyway that was adorable. Good job :]:].Author's Response: Yeah I did!!! Thank you! I just posted the link up on the forum. I'm happy that you liked it. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection