HA! That was frickin' HILAIRIOUS!!!

Author's Response: thanks!!

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OMG the ending was funy! "i love how you call me black . . . . .NW call me Bella!" i laffed soo hard. ne ways it was god!

Author's Response: thanks! you motivated me to write more :)

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Hey there! Before I say anything, I'd like to say THANKYOU for reviewing my story! Reviews are such wonderful inventions, so I thought I'd return the favour.
Your story had a great plot, and was really original - I like it how you used Bellatrix/Snape. Hah! That would be the funniest match, and I can see how you kind of like them together (I admit that probably an intsy-wintsy bit of me probably likes them together too).

May I offer some tips? [I don't want to sound mean or anything!!]
There are only a couple of things that stopped this story from being super-duper-awesome and they would be:
-Spelling/Grammar/Correct English: Whilst it sounds stupid, and it's annoying, a story is *so* much better when the spelling and grammar is all correct. I donno why but I think it's because it's easier to read. The biggest thing I noticed was at the end of quotations. For example: “I think I have 24. Wait no… Ahh 24 indeed” should be “I think I have twenty-four. Wait, no… ahh twenty-four indeed.”
-(I saw someone else say the same thing in one of your reviews) Dialogue: It needs to be a bit more realistic. I love how you use it, but perhaps a little less mechanical (if that makes sense?? :]). Just imagine you or your friends talking, and if you'd say something like that or I whatever.
Umm. That's all I can think of. Otherwise it was a great read, thanks for writing it and keep up the good work.
100% love,
Michelle! {7/10}

Author's Response: that was a great review! and I agree on the realism, I should perhaps change it asap..but thank you so much, I do believe members like you help others improve on their writing :)

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haha very funny... good job :)

Author's Response: thank you!

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wow that was so crazy! and amusing! and i liked the part about shakespeare...lol sort of wierd really. "slick and dark, shiny hair" haha, no really!

Author's Response: LOL I should say, I really like this story too..and thank you for complimenting both of my stories! really appreciate it..

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lmaoo, that was hilarious... and pretty well written. 8/10

Author's Response: aw Thank you soo much for complimenting my writing!!!

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hahah this is so funny

Author's Response: LOL thanksies!

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Hey (thought I'd return the favour of reviewing, not of course that it looks like you need it :D) - great one shot (is it a one shot?). Nice and snappy, exactly how just a glimpse of life should be, and amusing to boot too. Well done :D.

I would just make a suggestion of maybe trying to make the dialogue sound a little more realistic - “Good. Now let us go to the library” sounds, for example, somewhat false. "...Now let's go to the library," would have sounded better, unless 'let us' was used for effect and I missed it.

Other than that, very well done - wasn't Grendel a character from Beowulf? (I think... I recognise the name, though).

xxx Liz xxx

Author's Response: WOW thanks for returning the favor, your story, by the way, was REALLY amazing =) thanks for your suggestion, I'll make the changes, cuz you're right, it sounds tooo formal. And yes, Grendel comes from Beowulf, and there's a book (Grendel) written by John Garner too (from Grendel's point of view of the events)
Thanks for your really kind review again

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That was absolutly hilarious!

Author's Response: I'm honored!!! thanks! =)

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Hehe, made me laugh...

Author's Response: why thank you

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Hahahaha, that was really good :]

Author's Response: Thanks! =)

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Whos the middle guy in your nanner? great story by the way.

Author's Response: He's supposed to be James, but in reality he's Guy Berryman, bassist for the band Coldplay =)
Thanks for your review btw! =)

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nice... love potion? i think you dhould make it a bit clearer but i loved it anyway :)

Author's Response: why don't you ask the marauders what they used ;D Thanks for lovin' it

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oh ouch!!! poor Bella. gosh why does everbody make fun of her? appart from that it was very funny XD!

Author's Response: haha thanks! Snape and Bella would make a very cute couple...seriously

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*blinks in disbelief and then roars with laughter*

10/10!



Author's Response: THANK YOUUU!!!! Free junior mints for you...why disbelief though?

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Hehe. That was funny. I love James (so you don't have to worry about Remus), he's just so...funny. It's cute! I read your Bio YAAAY Beatles fan! And your a Postal Service fan? I think one of those guys is in a band called Death Cab For Cutie. They sound like such a happy bunch, huh? Thanks for reviewing my story! I'm REALLY hyper right now! I got one of the best parts in my school musical! I just got the script, it's 32 pages long!This stuff distracts me. So great job(not with distracting me, on the story)!

Author's Response: Thou are spared =) James sounds like he is pretty hott too, so yeah, but no competition, so don't worry! and yay-ness for the Beatles! and double yay-ness for the Postal service and Death cab for Cutie (yeah, they both share the lead singer, Ben Gibbard or something like that, I know his 1st name is Ben for sure)
They are "happy" if you know what I mean, emo-happy! I'll follow you into the dark (DCFC) proves that...and most og PS's songs too =) and 3 cheers for securing a part you like in your school's musical! good luck on that!

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Wow! Great oneshot! I was laughing so hard at the end!
A lot of good lines in this oneshot. I loved:
“How do you manage to look so gorgeous?” she murmured.

“What?”

“Ahh, you are so wonderful like this. Tall body, strong arms, slick and dark, shiny hair…”

“What is wrong with you Black?”

Suddenly she threw her arms around him.

“Take me with you. I want you. I need you. Be mine”

Horrified, Snape jumped back. “Bug off Black”

“I LOVE how you say Black. Now call me Bella”

“What is wrong with you? LEAVE ME ALONE!”

and I laughed realy hard at this:

“No! how dare you try and separate me from my Sevie (which rhymes unmistakably like sexy!) Let go!...”

and this:Severus Snape, victim of most of the Marauder’s pranks woke up as usual. He brushed his teeth as usual. He dressed up as usual. He didn’t wash his hair as usual

Really great one shot! Do you have any more humor fics? I'd love to read them!
10/10

Author's Response: I love these lines toooo! but then, I love this fic too much, so every line comes across to me as funny, because I could relate each detail to something in my life (they all have hilarious bases lol) The second line has to be among my top favs hahaha
Digressing from the digression, THANK YOU for your kind comment!!! I'm glad to hear that you were lmao-ing a lot. You may have to wait for another humor fic, cuz these ideas just come to me, I really can't force myself to think something up =( Sad, I know, but 'til then, Thanks! again!!! that made my day!

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Hi hi, this was funny, you had me laughing! Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks!!! that made (just about what is remaining of) my day! Maybe I should avoid writing fics like Brand New Colony and stick to humorous ones like this??? hmm....=)

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Probably one of the funniest one shots I have ever read! :) I knew something was up with those cakes....lol. Well it was pretty obvious. My fave line is:
'He brushed his teeth as usual. He dressed up as usual. He didn’t wash his hair as usual.' Great writing! :)

~Cait~
I don't know. It just made me laugh. lol.

Author's Response: WOW! ONE OF THE FUNNIEST ONE SHOTS?? REALLY? That just made my day. No really, I love you! hahaha, and as a reward, you get Junior mints! yummm...I love that line too it is sooo Sevie (that rhymes with sexy lol) Thank you once again.

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