Reading Reviews for The Untold Tale
  
125 Reviews Found

Review #1, by morgana67 Chapter One: The One In the Beginning

1st November 2007:
Very nice start. I quite like your OC too. The only thing I would say it's that at times I was a bit confused as to who was speaking, Lily or Morgan, but don't worry, this is something that my reviewers frequently say to me too. I think you introduce the characters quite nicely here. Now, is James going to take a liking to Morgan? I got that impression a little bit. I look forward to reading more and see how this develops.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing morgana, I truly appriciate it ^^

It's great to hear our OC is likeable, as a writer I'm more or less paranoid about being able to create realistic characters of my own.

I'll be sure to go over the dialogue again and see if I can find a way to clarify it, thanks for pointing that out for us ^^

Ah the relationship between James and Morgan, it's somewhat conflicted and quite complex too..but I'm not going to say anything else, reading on will solve the mystery ;)

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #2, by marauder_lover Chapter Seven: The One With The Detention

28th October 2007:
Awesome Chapter I really liked it! Liked the bookmark lol. Very marauderish.

I think the way you tell this story is great, and I love where it's going so update soon! Cause I want to know what happens!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing Amy ^^

The bookmark, yeah, who would have thought that the nice Mr Lupin would have something like that *snicker*

I'm thrilled to hear you like the story, I'm not sure when the next update is going to be (the problems of co-writing is the coordinating *sad sigh*) but I'll be sure to drop you a line when we do get the next chap up ^^

Thanks again for your reviews!


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Review #3, by marauder_lover Chapter 6: The One With Divination

28th October 2007:
But right now, I really need some hot, steaming, mind-blowing-"

"Sounds like somebody is talking about me!"


LOL! That really made me laugh along with a bunch of other things, very funny. I like how this is shaping out as a story and I love how Morgan is reacting to everything. Sirius is making me laugh alot and I love the Sirius/Morgan stuff, it's great!

I think the pace here is better, there seems to be more happening, and I love that.

One little thing though, you keep refering to her as 'the irish' a lot, maybe if you do it a little less it would seem less repetive, and it's good you use other words than Morgan

Keep it Up!

Author's Response: Heheheh...that line is actually from real life, only slightly altered ;)

It's great to hear we've made you laugh, that's what we have been aiming for; to provide amusement to readers while keeping things still relatively non-humorious in the end ^^

Thanks for pointing out the repetition of 'the Irish'...for some reason I try to shy away from using the names all the time, but I do see your point ^^

Thanks again for your lovely reviews!


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Review #4, by marauder_lover Chapter 5: The One with the Turn Down

28th October 2007:
Nice, loved it. I really like Morgan, she's a very complex character and that's great to read. I like how you did this chapter, That bet is soo going to get them in trouble!

Sirius getting rejected was good, I like how you did his reaction, very cool. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Again, thank you for reading and reviewing!

It really does make my day to hear you like Morgie and think she's believable character ^^ I think we've spent the most of our time creating her background story so it'd fit within the potterverse seamlessly and make her relationship with Lily feel realistic ^^

Oh and that bet..tsk tsk tsk...such foolish thing to do *grin* And Morgan definitely doesn't like Sirius as it is; she has her boyfriend and what she's heard about Black from Lily has been everything but flattering *snicker*

I'm very glad to hear you liked this ^^ Thanks again!


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Review #5, by marauder_lover Chapter 4: The One With the Sorting

28th October 2007:
Nice! I think you did that really well. You showed the relationship between Lily and Morgan well, it was well constructted and believable. I like how you set it up, it was good.

Ooh also, major points for the sorting hat song, well done for writing such a good one! Nice chapter, and good end to it I think as well. Keep it Up!

Author's Response: *bows* Yet again, thank you for R&R:ing!

It is awesome to hear you found the background story believable, we've spent so much time on that *lol*

The Sorting Hat song is the work of my Co-author N *applaudes to N* I personally can't rhyme even if my life would depend on it :P

Thanks again!


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Review #6, by marauder_lover Chapter 3: The One With A Hold Up

28th October 2007:
Awesome, I loved the bit when Sirius was holding her leg, very funny. I think that Morgan has great depth to her already and you don't see that with many OC's so well done! I think you do her thoughts really well so you can see just where she is coming from. Nice Job. I like the flow too. keep it up!

Author's Response: Yet again, thanks for reading and reviewing!

*blushing* Aww thank you so much for your kind words on Morgan! It really has been one of our major priorities to develop an OC people can, in a sense, relate to and really see where she's coming from ^^

Thanks again!


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Review #7, by marauder_lover Chapter Two: The One with Yeats

28th October 2007:
Nice again. Both Remus and Morgan really develop and I think thats great. I like Morgan, she seems cool and I like how you've put her accent into her dialogue, it makes it more real. Plus I love the Irish lol. I like where this is going, can't wait to read mroe! Keep it up!

Author's Response: Again, thanks for reading and reviewing!

I'm so happy to hear you found that we managed to develop Remus and Morgan as character here...Bringing in an OC is always a challenge because the background and character isn't known to everyone immidately, so we really tried to insert scenes that would allow the reader to get to know Morgan better before really starting to pace the story faster.

Oh and I'm thrilled to hear you like her nationality *grin* I admit that we don't have all that much real idea what we are doing with the accent, but so far we've only gotten positive feedback from it ^^

Thanks again!


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Review #8, by marauder_lover Chapter One: The One In the Beginning

28th October 2007:
Nice Job, I liked this chapter, it introduces the story well and the characters. I think it flows really well too. The way you portray everyone I think is very cannon, even if there are only little bits at the moment so awesome! Sorry for the very late review! Very good.

Author's Response: Hey there and first of all thanks for reading and reviewing!

It's great to hear you feel that we did a good job with the introduction; that is one of the most important parts to any story in my opinion ^^

Furthermore, it really makes my day to hear you found the characters to be in canon as that is one of our main goals with this fic *beams*

Thanks again!


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Review #9, by seanos Chapter Seven: The One With The Detention

25th October 2007:
I like this chapter. Your main character is interesting and James' character seems realistic rather than a saint.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing Sean!

It's awesome to know you like our OC, it's my biggest concern to write a character that isn't believable ^^.

What it comes to James, I'm really pleased on how we got him portrayed in this story...I find that he's often described as some sort of mischevious demi-god which is something I most definitely don't want to do ^^

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #10, by mraudbdyy Chapter Two: The One with Yeats

13th October 2007:
*Ahem* I think I'm going to officially have to hand back that medal for Slowest Reviewer now that you've steered me back on track with my frighteningly long 'To Review' list. Ah well. :D

Okay, first off, I think I loved this chapter even more than the first one (if that's possible). Descriptions once again were very good and detailed (slightly scared by the length of that first paragraph for a few seconds though!). I really like the way you mix things up by referring to people as 'the young man', 'the witch' or 'the Irish girl' instead of just constantly using their names.

Morgan is defiantly gowning on me more and more as an OC. In a just two chapters you know quite a bit about her as a person and you've made her fit in nicely with all the other canon characters which is certainly a great skill. I often find that OCs (especially in ME) will stick out like sore thumbs. I think it's the little things, like the way they react to certain with situations, that shows what their personality is like, rather than just stating it. Showing not telling, you know? And you do that wonderfully. When Morgan reacts with aggression towards Sirius after he compares her towards those Beauxbatons girls, you know it's to hide the fact that the comparison has made her feel a bit insecure. And also the fact that she's not 'the prettiest witch in the isles' and not very advanced in magic compared to other seventh years (because believe it or not you can have an interesting character that isn't drop dead gorgeous and gifted at everything :P ) Those kind of things are really shaping her up to be a well rounded OC which readers can relate to.

Characterization - brilliant. Sirius was cocky, confident and in Morgan’s opinion a ‘Girl-Magnet’. I mean of course Morgan will (*hopefully*) realise that there’s more to him than that, but I suppose because Lily has been her no.1 source of information on the Marauders she’s therefore predisposed to have negative opinion of him.

And Remus, wow! I think I love your Remus...You guys write him so well, especially that conversation between Morgan and Remus. I like the fact that he recognizes that his friends can be incredible prats some of the time, but he sticks up for them because they're his friends and they do have the capacity to be good people. And he remains so calm when sticking up for them! Very Remus-ish (if that's a word - if not I'm inventing it now) Would have liked to see Peter have a bit more of a role, but I'm sure he'll come up in later chapters…

And as always, I like to point out my favorite lines of the chapter. :D Morgan stubbornly ignored the company, reckoning there were amoebae in Antarctica that could have been of more interest *snicker*

Once again, great work. I’m hoping this longish (mostly rambling) review makes up a bit for my inexcusable slackness in reviewing. *grin* I defiantly want to read on, so I won’t take so long next time, I swear :P !

*hugs* Maddie


Author's Response: Aw Darling, you may be slow, but your reviews completely make the wait totally worth it!

I'm very happy to hear you like our attention to details; personally I feel I'm bit too shy on using just the names and use lot of other expressions, but since you think it works I'll stick with that ^^

Your comments on Morgan really make my day, it's amazing to hear you like her and think she's well rounded. We are still practising on the 'showing not telling'-strategy (I don't feel fully confident with that yet) but I'm really starting to feel more confident writing like that ^^

*blushing* It really means a lot to me to hear you found the charactarization was good. And you are absolutely right, Morgan's current view is very biased towards the Marauders because her information came from Lily ;)

Remusish, that's a wonderful new word and I'm so pleased you think we pulled him off well ;) He's one of my fav characters so it's always fun to write him ^^

Thanks again for reading and reviewing, you are awesome! *hands a lemon drop*


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Review #11, by taylorj828 Chapter 3: The One With A Hold Up

4th October 2007:
Lovely third chapter, sorry I am so slow at reading this. In my defence, I really haven't been reading anything lately. I have a list of things, "To Read" and it's not shrinking. (o:

I love Morgan. She is a fantastic OC and you handle her so well. I don't usually like OCs at all, but she has a great character. I specifically like her interaction with the boys and with Lily. She just seems, I dunno, real!

I also like this feeling I'm getting that Sirius could possibly like Morgan - I dunno? And that Morgan could like Remus. Now, that is terribly intriguing to me, because few girls ever DON'T like Sirius, much less do they choose Remus over Sirius. I would totally love that. But I also feel that Morgan could get conflicted by Sirius's charm and bad boy image, should he choose to turn that on her.

However, I think she's revolted by his and James' attitudes, which I still love because they feel cannon. We've discussed this before, of course, but I'm glad they're acting the way the are. And Lily seems like a canon match. And I adore Remus. I've a special little place in my hpworld heart for him, and I wouldn't mind seeing him and Morgan together. (o: Teehee.

I also love your attention to details. I admit, I'm a bit confused about the scene discussing patronuses and the writing on the window, but I do like the detail you used in describing the foggy window.

And I love Mogran's inclincation to go see the dragon. Too cute. I think she's a girl that can hold her own among this crowd of boys, and its rare to find such an OC, especially if the marauders are actually In Character. Excellent work!

Author's Response: Again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and I'm still so sorry it took me too long to respond to you ^^

You really are making me blush with all your compliments on Morgan, she really is my baby so it's amazing to get so much positive feedback on her. As for who'll she end up with...Well there's a little problem on the way, which you'll find out in soon enough ;) and what will happen in the end is a completely another matter *grin*

Morgan's reaction to the Marauders mainly come from the fact that all her information came from Lily who happened to have rather biased view on the guys :P

Thanks for pointing out the patronus scene, I'll have to look into it and see if we can clarify it somehow ^^

Thanks again for reading and reviewing, you rock!


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Review #12, by sexyseverus Chapter Seven: The One With The Detention

20th September 2007:
Okay, hopefully this review will show. =]

I find this story highly interesting, and I'd be sure to recomend it to anyone who ask.

Your writing style is fairly intriguing, along with your descriptions of character.

I love that you havn't made your character a cliche Mary-Sue with perfect hair, eyes, teeth, body, lifestyle and all that, and that she has obvious flaws; including that temper of hers that got her a detention.

Overall, fantastic story! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and have even added it to my ever-growing favourites list!

Great job, love. I find that I can't find a single thing to critisize.. =D

-PETEY.

Author's Response: Hi there Petey, and thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm terribly sorry it has taken me so long to respond, but on my defense RL has been a mess...

I'm so thrilled to hear you liked our piece here, especially the fact you found Morgan realistic and believable warms my heart ^^

Thank you so much for the favourites list-nomination, and I can only hope you'll stick with us when we update again ^^

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #13, by sexyseverus Chapter Two: The One with Yeats

19th September 2007:
I loved the way you portrayed Remus Lupin.
Kind, intelligent, and with an air of mystery about him.
Althought I'm not a fa of Sirius /oc stories, I'm sure I'll enjoy this story all the same if Remus is in it, as he is one of my favourites. =]
Keep up the great work, and I hope to read more of your stuff soon!

-Petey. -Aphrodite-

Author's Response: Hey there Petey ^^

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

It really makes me happy to hear you liked our Remus...He was one of my fav characters to write about and he'll have quite a big role in the future chapters too ;)

Thanks again!


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Review #14, by mraudbdyy Chapter One: The One In the Beginning

17th September 2007:
*runs in and crash tackles for no apparent reason* D! (and D's co-author). I'm here as promised (finally), so prepare for something exceptionally long winded.

First off, amazing beginning. Truly, it's a refreshingly original take on the arrival at Kings Cross. It’s very detailed, but doesn’t get too repetitive. I have to admire how well you describe things, such as the paper that felt like parchment. It’s something that I certainly struggle with. The writing style flows well and I love the odd sarcastic comment thrown in there.

Alrighty, Morgan, your baby. I don’t usually like OCs, but I can tell you’re going to take care with how you present her and hopefully by the end of the story it’ll feel like she was a part of canon to begin with. :P She seems to be a very well rounded, three-dimensional OC. You said you thought earlier that she was too much of a Mary Sue, but I really don’t think so. The only the thing made go ‘huh?’ though, was how forward she was with insulting James, someone who she’d literally just met. She didn’t really strike me as being as feisty as Lily. But I suppose we’ll see as the story progresses and more about her character is revealed. Ooh, and she curses a lot, I love that. I can relate to that. :P

I admit though, when I read the part that said she had been invited to come to Hogwarts for her last year I thought no! She’s a dreaded American transfer student But thankfully you’ve chosen somewhere original for her to have come from, and I’m sure we’ll find out why in chapters to come.

she was interrupted by a voice that was deep with want-to-be maturity. *gigglesnort* That is so James! I love your Sirius and James. And there’s only been a glimpse of Remus and Peter so far, but I’m glad to see that in that part you had them simply looking ‘mildly interested’, instead of Remus freaking out about James and Sirius’ appalling behaviour, and Peter looking chubby and frightened. Clichés well avoided.

but his arrogant expression couldn't be concealed by anything that wasn't at least a few sizes bigger than the sun. *another gigglesnort* That made me laugh. I can see there’ll be many humorous moments to come in this story.

You must have very good betas. I have never read such a grammatically correct story, with out a spelling mistake in sight. It makes sooo much difference to the flow of the reading.

And just me being weird (because who else is going to point out these kind of random facts?), the minute I noticed all your chapters are titled ‘The One …” I thought ZOMG, that reminds me so much of Friends! :D

Overall, wonderful start to the story. 10/10

Expect to hear from me again soon *deposits into favourites*


Author's Response: *glombs back*

First of all, thanks for reading and reviewing!

I'm so happy to hear you liked our take on Kings Cross ;) We tried to make the scene sound like us, all the while keeping every details in canon. The describtions are the work of my co, N, she really has them going ;).

*squee* I'm so pleased to hear you liked Morgan! She really is my baby and we've worked so hard on her..there are things that I feel bit unsure about her, but getting such positive comments from an non-OC lover, I feel much more secure about her.

Oh, we had so much fun with James and Sirius, and in the later chapters you'll get to know much more about Remus!

We owe so much to our betas the graywand and SilverDaggers (yeah I'm so paranoid I have two betas :P), they rock!

Ooo, 10 points to mraudbdyy for noticing the little reference to the Friends!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing, you made my day ^^


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Review #15, by taylorj828 Chapter Two: The One with Yeats

31st August 2007:
Hallo!! Okay, first of all, please forgive me for a much shorter review here. The last one was longer, and I try to really pour my thoughts into reviews... but this one is still short...

Aw, that whole chapter was a very cute scene with Remus. Definitely makes me hope for a future for them! I do so enjoy him. If only he could temper his pals. I know I have less to say here, not because I didn't like it, but I was enjoying the story and, well, for what it's worth, you had me enthralled and I didn't take a lot of notes. Hehe.

But I will tell you, that you might have just hooked me on this story. Maybe. And that's saying something, since I don't read MEra. I'll be back for more, as I have time. (o:

Author's Response: Thanks again for reading and reviewing (and I'm still SO sorry it has taken so long for me to respond *hangs head in shame*)

I'm overjoyed to hear we might have hooked you here *grin* coming from a non-MEra fan that is pretty much the highest compliment we can get!

Thanks again ^^


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Review #16, by taylorj828 Chapter One: The One In the Beginning

31st August 2007:
Hello my friend! Here I am to read and review! It might be slow going for me, but I'm attempting it!

First of all, excellent attention to detail, especially in the beginning!

Also, nice introduction and care taken for the OC. You introduced us well so she felt, I dunno, real, and not like most OCs you meet. She was interesting and that writing made you want to follow her. (o:

Ha people ignoring her at the train station! That's funny!

Excellet entrance to the platform! The way you wrote it was different for once! Most people who write such scenes always write it as JKR did, where someone must lead the wizard or witch through the wall. I like that she found it herself and figured it out.

but his arrogant expression couldn't be concealed by anything that wasn't at least a few sizes bigger than the sun. *snickers* I love dry humor!

Hehe, you're right. So far James sounds VERY canon. (Perhaps one of the few canon James I've read.) That also means I dislike him, just as I do in canon. HAHA! Lupin though, I mean, I'm cool with him. *grins*

She's Irish! Thank goodness she's not American! Haha. Not that I mind. Really, Foreign students aren't a BAD idea, they're just always written poorly. Even cliche things are fine, so long as they're written well. They just rarely are. Heh. You handle this OC girl so well that we just have to take it and beleive it and not think any second thought of it. That's... well a truly successful writer.

Loved Morgan's comment to James. Haha. He needs put in his place. It's uncanny how James can sometimes remind me of Malfoy... Erm.. That's always worried me, when reading canon...

Lovely first chapter. You've got me intrigued!

Author's Response: Hey there Jenn! And first of all I'm SO sorry it has taken me half an eternity to respond to you :( Your reviews are so indepth and detailed I wanted to give you a proper response but with the hassel I've had with RL lately that hasn't been possible.

Thank you so much taking your time to read and review this for me, I especially appricate your comments since I know you are not that fond of MEra (which means I can be sure what you say comes from your heart :P)

*snicker* It's great to hear you liked our opening. We wanted to do something different, something that you don't see in every fic and it truly warm's my heart to hear you liked it!

I'm thrilled to hear you like Morgan; we've worked so much on her trying to make her three dimensional and interesting, so it's fantastic to hear we just might have reached our goal there!

Furthermore, I'm pretty much blushing with what you commented keeping James in character; I actually agree with you, there's a lot similiarites between him and Malfoy, now that I think of it..

Thank you so much for R&R:ing, I really can't thank you enough!


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Review #17, by inkismyworld Chapter Seven: The One With The Detention

15th August 2007:
Ok, I'll be honest halfway through the story I started to skim, but what I did read all the way through was excellent, though I found it a tad annoying when they keep referring to Morgan as simply : " the Irish" but that's just my hang up.

Author's Response: Hey there!

First of all I'm so sorry about my tardiness to reply to you, life has been way too hectic for me the past few weeks :(. Thank you for reading and reviewing though, I really appriciate it!

I'm glad you found the story generally up to standard and I will keep in mind the 'the Irish' bit ;)

Thanks again!


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Review #18, by thegirllikeme Chapter One: The One In the Beginning

13th August 2007:
Please excuse me if the review is a bit disorderly. I'll be making comments as I read through this, so it'll be in order of how I read it. And, yes, I did decide to review this one after all. I figured if you really truly wanted reviews that would help you approve, then you deserved one. So, my personal opinions about ships aside, I have come to review. And I hope I'm as helpful as you believed I could be.

First comment: I found this line: she clutched a thick piece of paper that almost felt like parchment. a bit redundent, because paper, no matter how thick, is parchment. The wording in this in the previous sentences was really good, but try to avoid ironies like this even if it DOES sound really good and is well written, because things like this can take readers out of the story. But once again, the first few sentences were really well written.

Right, I've noticed a few places that you might have chosen the wrong word, that did little more than mess up the flow a tad bit, which probably wouldn't bother any boddy but me. I've also noticed a few things that probably should have been capatilized, like Platform Nine for example. Another thing, you started calling your main character 'she' for a long while, than unexpectedly, you said what I guess was her name 'Morgan'. The best thing to do would have been to have Lily call her by name. That would have been a good, reasonable transition. And lastly, you said 'an older student' cast a spell. To avoid canon error you probably would have needed to say 'a seventh year'. Remember that students can't perform magic outside of Hogwarts until their seventh year.

I like how you managed to get James and Sirius into characterization. Too many times people have this viewpoint of James and Sirius are GODS--which is why I avoid reading anything that centers around James and Sirius, but you approached this story very skillfully and in a way that is very true to canon. Lily was good as well.

You said that you were worried about the devolpement of your OC, and here's the bottom line--you did a great job! You presented her very well indeed, managing to tell her thoughts and her feelings, but still left us room to get to know the character a bit. However, you did leave me confused about a lot of things that probably should have been answered. Why didn't Morgan go to Hogwarts before? Irish DO get letters from Hogwarts. Seamus is there. If her parents are so against magic, how is it possible that she has a tutor? The things really should have been answered in this chapter. But other that, you did manage to bring Morgan to life. I found myself drain into her POV and it was really hard to draw myself awhile to type some of these comments. Congrats! That doesn't happen to me very often.

Also, despite the occasional puncuation probelm, this was really well written. You are one of perhaps two writers who's writing style I really like, and one of a few writers who have gotten past the potiental stage. You'll skilled and you seem to have found your own style that is really, really nice. You're a good writer, no doubt about it!

For being hesitant about this story, I really actually enjoyed this. I'll see if I can get to the next chapter, but if I don't get to it in about a week, go ahead and request for the next chapter to be R&R-ed.

Author's Response: First of all, thank you for taking the time to read and review! I really enjoyed reading your opinions and I truly appriciate the time and effort you've taken here despite your personal feelings towards the general genre we'd chosen ^^

The parchment thing I have to disagree with you, parchment is made out of animal skin and therefore is not paper even if used as something to write on. I do admit that the sentence is bit fussy though, and I'll take a closer look at that, thanks for pointing it out!

Looks like my feverous need to edit had gotten the best of me what it comes introducing Morgan. She is actually supposed to be introduced by Lily at the very end of the chapter, but one pesky 'Morgan' had slipped up. I really appriciate that you pointed it out, having that there ruins the feeling we were trying to accomplish *sigh*

What it comes to the 'older student' vs 'seventh year student' the question is about Morgan's POV; she's a new in whole of the school life and cannot really tell who's who. She only saw an older student doing magic and wasn't able to tell the person was 7th year, because she's very unknowledgable about the magical world in general :P

Ah, I'm so relieved you liked our take on James & Sirius! Quite a few people have commented that they are 'mean', but we see Sirius as overgrown bully in a sense and James as spoiled brat, and that's what we are trying to convey through our writing ;)

What it comes to the questions about Morgan, everything will be explained in the following chapters *grin* We didn't want to explain *everything* about her straight away...But all the questions you asked will be answered later on ^^

Thank you so much for the compliments :) It's very lovely to hear our style was enjoyable to read, and both me and my co-author and just amazed to hear we've been able to coordinate our styles together so well it appears to be from one author ;)

Thanks again for reading and reviewing, your review truly made my and my co's day! I'll try to get to your story asap, and I do hope you'll find time for carry on with the 'Untold Tale' in the future (and don't worry, I'll request from you in the future ;)


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Review #19, by padfootblack16 *:( not logged in* Chapter One: The One In the Beginning

28th July 2007:
hey there!
well...this was another very well written start. The descriptions were, once againt, greatly done as was the dialogue. The way you describe Morgan as she trys to get through the gate just brought a smile to my face. You keept all of them (lily, james, sirius and remus) in character i believe, and wrote them all quite well. There were a few spacing errors here and there though, and they made the story flow not too well, and as so the story was somewhat difficult to read.

Other than that though, it was wonderful. Do expect me to read on soon.

8/10

cheers,
pad

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review and all your compliments!
I'm very glad you like our descriptions and dialogue; we tend to put a lot of work in that and it's always nice to hear how it pays off! Gotta admit that I don't quite remember how the scene with the gate came about. ^^;
The characters are awesome, aren't they? Heheh, can't really take the credit for them. =p
We'll try to solve the spacing there though. I know it's rather annoying, but it seems like the editor hates us with the fire of a thousand suns.

Anyways, thank you so much again!
Cheers!


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Review #20, by MissLee_ Chapter 6: The One With Divination

17th July 2007:
With every chapter I like Morgan more and more, I like her stubborness with the Marauders, she's not like falling for their charms, or more lack there of. And I liked her stubborness with the Divination teacher.

I love this Divination teacher by the way! I like that you didn't make someone exactly like Trelawney who I doubt would ever yell at students. His description was really funny too, I could totally picture him :D

Another great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Yet again, we thank you for reading and reviewing ^^

You have no idea how much it means to us to hear we've managed to develop a likeable OC :) Morgan is very prejudiced against the Marauders, after all she's heard the Lily-version of them instead of anything else *grin* Morgie is also a person who believes in equality and fairness; thus she really dislikes getting the blame on something she didn't think she desrved :P

*squeels* it's awesome to hear you like prof. Baxt (his names means 'luck' in Roma language, btw). We had a lot of fun creating him...

So glad to hear you liked the chapter, thanks again for reading and reviewing ^^


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Review #21, by MissLee_ Chapter 5: The One with the Turn Down

17th July 2007:
Haha of course she's a Gryffie :D Haha and I loved the way Morgan shot down Sirius like that! Brilliant moment! Another great moment is when Sirius did the same with Kelly haha :D

I really like this story, it's got me hooked, and in fact I'm considering writing a ME someday!

Author's Response: Once again, thanks for reading and reviewing!

I'm afraid we were bit unorignal with Morgan's house :P but then again she wouldn't have fitted in anywhere else...

Morgan is bit confused by Sirius now, she cannot comprehend why he'd ask her out when he knows she's seeing someone...men *eyeroll* Kelly is an interesting character, you'll be seeing her in the future ;)

Aww we got you hooked? That means so much to us coming from someone who first confessed she doesn't like MEra that much ^^ MEra is my favourite era so if you do end up writing a fic set in there, don't hesitate to PM me in the forums if you think I could help you out in any way ;)

-D from DandN


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Review #22, by MissLee_ Chapter 4: The One With the Sorting

17th July 2007:
I've just noticed that the chapter titles are like the episode titles of Friends :D I LOVE FRIENDS! hehehe!

Ohhh the moment where Morgan is like waiting for McGonagoll to come with the first years and she's like standing there awkwardly I can sooo relate. I hate being new, and I have been a looot! That passage was really realistic :D

I like that you kept what house she'll be in till the next chapter, a little clift-hanger :D

I have a teeeny complaint this time, the paragraph under "Morgan, keep it down there are younger students here!" was very long and I lost track a couple times, maybe break it up a little? But it's not a big deal or anything, still a great chapter

You do have for most of the chapters a good balance of dialogue and discriptive memory paragraphs which is really good and gives the story a good flow.


Author's Response: Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

Yeah, the 'model' for chapter titles is shamelessly snatched from Friends, both me and N have been fans of the series :P

I've been the 'new kid' fare share of my life and wanted to transfer the feeling to the story, it's great to hear you can relate to it!

The cliffie was more or less an accedent: we didn't want to write a monster chap, so the best and most natural spot to break the chap was in there *g*

Thanks for pointing out the long paragraph in there, we'll definitely take a look what we can do to that ^^. We are both perfectionists what it comes to this story, so getting comments and suggestions means a lot for us.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #23, by MissLee_ Chapter 3: The One With A Hold Up

17th July 2007:
Another great chapter!

In this chapter I especially loved how you portrayed James, his jealousy over Lily being interested in someone else was spot on :D

Oooh we seem to learn more and more about Morgan every chapter, I like that, it's not like you just tell her everything about her right away. I like that she's so curious and intrigued by the dragon :D The guys seemed a little impressed fora bit when she was about to fly out to the dragon

Maybe I should read more ME stories if they're this good :P

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing--again :)

It's great to hear you liked our take on the whole Jealous-James issue, it took us to while to get it the way we wanted ^^

I'm so happy to hear you like Morgan, she really is my brainchild and her character is probably the part I've spent the most time working on. We've tried to reveal her character and background as indirectly as possible, and it's lovely to hear it has really worked *g*

There are few very good MEra stories around; check out moonylupin and andromedatonks' accounts, they have both done wonderful job!


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Review #24, by MissLee_ Chapter Two: The One with Yeats

16th July 2007:
Oooh another great chapter! Morgan is really coming to life. I think the way she reacts to the Maurader boys is very real, especially having Lily as a friend, therefore she must have heard non-stop insulting of them. I like Morgan, I like that she's not some drop-dead gorgeous, super kind, great witch and super intelligent person, she's realistic. She seems a bit stubborn like Lily too, and she's rather witty as we saw with her interactions with James and Sirius.

I really liked your portrayal of Remus in this chapter. He's polite and friendly, and he defends his friends, which I think he definently would. The thing we do know about the Marauders is that they are very big on loyalty, which is probably why when Peter betrays them it's unforgivable.

Anyway really enjoyed this chapter, I look forward to seeing how Morgan's going to come as she's not been able to learn magic properly in the past!

Author's Response: *Laughs* Thank you, thank you! You're too kind. =D I already said how awesome it is to hear people say how real Morgan reacts, but when they say they like her... That's even more awesome. ;-)
We tried our very best to keep her away from MarySue-dom... And if you thought she was witty here already, just sit back and enjoy the rest of the ride. *Grins*

Another thing we're very proud of, is "our" Remus. I'm so glad you liked him! He's actually rather easy to write, though we had to make a clear decision on how to put him on paper. We didn't like the silent poet type (which you see a lot), so we just let him do the talking and voilà!

*Ahem* Anyways. Again, thank you for your review and I really hope you'll like the next chapters. =D


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Review #25, by MissLee_ Chapter One: The One In the Beginning

16th July 2007:
Very strong beginning! I really like the way you write, it's very witty at times! I'm not a big fan of Marauders Era so I don't read many fanfics like this so I have not much to compare it to but I really enjoyed this one. It was a long chapter but there was never a moment where I was like uggghg make it stop haha in fact it was quite engaging! And I think you've got Morgan's personality across well.

Spelling/grammar is good! And I don't have many complaints as this is just the first chapter, now I'm off to the next!

Author's Response: Hey there!
We're so glad you like our writing style; it's always such a fantastic thing to hear. =D Especially when this comes from someone who isn't even a big ME-fan!
It's safe to say that we're very proud of our little Morgan. We put in a lot of time and effort to make her as real as possible.
The spelling/grammar is thanks to our fantastic Beta though. ;-)

Anyways, thank you so much for your kind words. ^^


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