So you kinda left us hanging 'cause we know they get married and have Harry but this is just the bad part of the relationship and we know they get back together but you didn't tell us how Report Review
Leo-cocky and arrogant bastards huh? I'm a Leo lol, nah, never mind, that was part of the fanfiction:)
Characterization: I dunno why, this was just brilliant. All of Lily's thoughts and emotions just leaked through the writing and into my head. I could understand everything clearly and it was just-amazing:)
James: Ok, you showed his arrogance so perfectly, i felt as if i was reading Jk's own work, you stuck to his character that perfectly. Ok, i wouldn't have expected him to hurt Lily like he did, but it does fit his character to do such a horrible thing. So even though his actions were surprising, you made them sound very realistic. I hope you can understand my babble lol.
Lily: Again, perfect, her thoughts were so perfectly described, and i could almost feel her hurt and pain, good job there. She was very in character as well, and she reacted exactly how you would expect her to. Considering it was from her point of view, you did a fantastic job, you should be proud:)
The Chemistry Between The Two Characters: Like mentos and coke lol. In other words, very Lily/James, no other way to describe it, genious:)
Remus: Judging by the fact he didn't play a big part in this, he was very in character as well, great job:)
Conclusion: Perfect. 100% spot on, well done.
Plot: It was such a brilliant and original plot, i loved reading it, i could really feel how hurt Lily was, i'm intrigued to read more but i cannot seeing as it's only a one-shot:(
Mood: In ways an emotional rollercoaster, some of the words she used for James were hilarious, and i felt so sorry for Lily when James did that to her.
Descriptive Language: Very Very Good, with a little practice it could be even better though.
Conclusion: Everything was perfect, i couldn't pick anything bad out:)
Extra: Your banner was very good, perhaps you could add a chapter image to this chapter, just a suggestion:)
Goodluck in the future
KatiexAuthor's Response: Wow, that was without a doubt the best review in terms of depth of description as well as compliments that I have ever had! Thank you so very much, it means the world to me! I wrote this about 3 years ago when I was going through... basically this story. So I was most unhappy at the time and wanted to put it to words and get it out of my head. I'm very pleased with this fic in general, it's one of my favorites, even though I *know* I do too many one-shots. Thanks for the idea of a chapter image, I might just look into that! Again thank you so much for your review, I am so touched! Report Review
This was simply superb. People need to be reminded now and then that life fundamentally sucks.Author's Response: Amen! Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Haha I loved it! It's absolutely fantastic. And really I should be reprimanding you because I write L/J fanfiction- your cliched type, of course- but I really liked it. And by the way, not all of us Leos are cocky, arrogant assholes... at least most of the time...
XD Report Review
This is one of the most wonderful stories I've ever read. I'm glad you are also sick of the cliches. I'm impressed with how your story shows the beauty in truth, even if the truth is misery. I think you should keep writing, I wish there were more stories like yours. Author's Response: Thank you for your wonderful review, it is really appreciated. Angst is cathartic to write when you're depressed yourself, but I don't think I can continue this fic since Lily and James end up together in a happy relationship. But thanks for your input. Report Review
This is one of the most wonderful stories I've ever read. I'm glad you are also sick of the cliches. I'm impressed with how your story shows the beauty in truth, even if the truth is misery. I think you should keep writing, I wish there were more stories like yours. Report Review
i liked it. And I love the Lily/James pairing. The fic was amazing. It was written really well, and keep me interested from the start! I loved it!Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. When I first got the idea for this story I wasn't totally sure what pairing to use for it. But I'm pleased with how Lily and James worked out in this fic. Report Review
is there a sequel?
the one where they get back together?
in which case, i will forgive your jadedness, it was that good!Author's Response: I'm going to have to say no to a sequel. It's just not in me right now, maybe in the future, if a proper plot strikes me. Thanks for your review. Report Review
im just happy things didnt end up this way. not all of the stories are the same.. some are i will say... but not all
this one didnt make sense as they later have harry and are married and perfectly happy together but good luck trying to tear down the happy moments of an orphaned boys parents. i'd hate it if a kid who'd been in the same situation as harry- minus magic and replace voldermort as murderer- read this.. after hearing about the wonderful life his parents shared. but yeah.. whatever floats ur boatAuthor's Response: I can appreciate your opinion, but Harry's parents were people, not just memories of happy moments. Every couple has problems and no one is ever perfect. My little excerpt from their lives cannot change or diminish what finally happened; of course they fell in love and had Harry. I apologize if my penchant for the angst in life has offended you, but that's what good writing does, it evokes emotions in people, be it anger, sadness or joy. Thank you for your review. Report Review
omg its so g0od!!!! r u gonna write more? plz =)? it was really good cuz i`ve read so many j/l stories and they are ALWAYS the same..so i`m excited about this oneE! plz updateE!Author's Response: I've gotten a lot of requests to continue with this (it's on ff.net, too) but I just can't bring myself to write a L/J fic, because everyone knows how it ends. Thanks for the enthusiastic review though! Report Review
well nice change stupid stupid james.please continue it would be soo great!Author's Response: No, I'm not going to continue this, it's just a one-shot I had to get off my chest and out of my head. But thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I loved it! It was very different, very unique, and actually included some of the problems that may happen in relationships. It wasn't like the characters were oh so perfect with just deaths, and people acting like a jerk throughout the story. Perfecto!Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection