Interesting…wow…I love it!
I cant wait for your next chapter.
well this seems interesting but it does need some work!
Work on making the spech longer and more human felt. Try add more decrisption/detail, to scenes and the chracters, becuase obviously we dont know anything about them considering they are not oringinal hp characters.
Keep an eye on your spelling and grammar, there where a few slip ups, they were not major, but could use some work... try and paragraph your work more, not all bunched up, you can have your chapters rejected for that, (bricking) a little pre-warning there =D
Also on your speech, try and write who is saying what, other wise the readers are not sure whether its the same character saying the spech or another charctre has just entered...
Anyway, you said you where looking for a banner? Well, i can make you one if you would like? If you do, just go to my author page and click on my website, then click on banner requests.
Try and take in to account the constructve critism above, it should help you in later chapters =D
Bye! Report Review
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