I hope you write more soon!!! :) Report Review
Ooh, love it so far! Can't wait to read more!! Report Review
It's already over? Oh, well, now I get to wait for the seventeenth summer, now. This one had one spelling error (non instead of none), but other than that, it was great. 10/10 Report Review
That was sad in its own right. Neither of them deserve this. There were some spelling errors, but not many of them. 9/10 Report Review
Good tie in with The Half-Blood Prince, alas I must go to bed now...film tutorial tomorrow morning! Great stuff though! -Valhalla Adonis-SnapeAuthor's Response: Thank again Sky... I heart you. ~~juls Report Review
Wooo! I came here to celebrate the finishing of my essay XD.
Heated chapter, fairly long too. All I could suggest is to space them out a bit more evenly (the last chapter in fifteenth summer was hard to pry away from but it made me tired afterwards). I don't know why, but I really like how you refer to Voldemort as the past Tom Riddle...sounds cool to me for some reason. -Valhalla Adonis-SnapeAuthor's Response: Thanks sky... this was like 2 chapters rolled into one. hehe TA status makes things alot easier. Still a load of responsability keeping to TOS, but can post alot easier. HUGGLES attack ~~juls Report Review
Wow, taht really makes Snape look like the victom/hero, don't it?Author's Response: In my eyes, YES..... Thanks for the review. huggles ~~juls Report Review
Hey I really like it ! going to read 17th summer now. good stuff! RhonaAuthor's Response: Thanks Rhona, glad you are enjoying the Series. huggles ~~juls Report Review
You write the relationship between Narcissa and Draco very well. They're both hiding things from the other but it's clear the love they share. Well done. And the relationship between Dumbledore and Snape is equally as well written. I love that you've made them have a father/son type of connection. The details in this were astonishing as well. Overall, a great job again, juls. I cant wait to read the next installment! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks, Scribbie. (17th Summer has started posting!!) huggles~~ juls Report Review
I am so impressed with this one juls. It seems to me your writing gets better and better each time. I love this continuation of the Summer Series. And I also love your Snape. He's very likeable and you can really sympathize with him. And Draco, while I'm at it. I loved the scene with him and Voldemort. You write those so well. And the bond between Snape and Narcissa is, yet again, very touching. I love that you've made them a couple. And it's believable too. Great job here, juls. Onto the next chapter...lol. 10/10Author's Response: Thanks Tiff... the Vow is my dedication to my Snape/Narcissa obessesion. Huggles ~~juls Report Review
this is really great! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks. I have started posting 17th (which I see you have found) and more of the story shall be revealed. huggles juls Report Review
This keeps getting better and better by the minute, hope for more soonAuthor's Response: Thanks again... and ch one of 17th summer is up =) juls Report Review
I really enjoyed this chapter, it's getting so good! Thank you so much for adding in that Narcissa was upset about Sirius' death, I really think that was important. I love how you've used the events of that summer and added the unseen parts. I am also quite thrilled that at the current moment Snape is still a "good" guy, I so badly want to believe that. Overall I think you have done a spectacular job with this chapter, and I hope you have some more for me to read :)Author's Response: Thanks =) Part of the encounter between Snape and Dumbledore is a pensieve memory in "In The End", but I added more to it to better fit this story. There should be more about Sirius's death talk finally between Draco and Cissa in "17th Summer", when he can finally have his 'change of heart'. And, for me, Snape is the unsong hero in the books. Hopefully JKR thinks so also.
huggles juls Report Review
that was really good you did a great job so keep it coming!Author's Response: Thanks glad you enjoyed it =) Report Review
twass a rele funky chapter yay *claps*Author's Response: So glad you liked it... thanks ~~juls Report Review
We-ell. I'm on the edge with this one... The start was all right, but then the end made me go all, "Ew." Lol. I'm sorry, I'm not much of a fan of Snape romance, you see. Anyway, this chapter was well-written; not much grammatical and typographical errors. I do have one thing I'd like to point out though:
Draco stood in his room watching as the elves brought the trunks from school in. Going to his dresser, the platinum headed boy opened the bottom drawer and dug around till he found it. Unfolding the black robe, he shook the wrinkles from the fabric. Hanging it off a hook on the back of the door Draco stared at it for a moment. Shooing the elves out the young wizard headed for his bathroom. A nice long shower is in order, he thought. Dropping his travel robes to the floor, Draco turned on the tap and waited as the temperature adjusted to his comforts.
See that paragraph? Have you noticed that except for like two sentences, you start all of the other sentences with a dependent clause? What I mean is that the other sentences all start with "Going..." "Unfolding..." "Hanging..." and "Dropping..." otherwise known as the present participle form of the verbs. It isnt rather pretty to read, and it would be much better for all of us if you'd differ the sentence structure now and then.
Also, I dont think the word "limo" is appropriate for the fic. But hey, that's just me. Anyway, I think Voldemort wouldnt call someone "my boy." Maybe "boy" but if he does call people "my boy," maybe not that much. Am I making sense? Lol. Snape also called Narcissa "my love" too much. There were times where it seemed like "my love" was in every sentence or something. Moving on, I noticed that Draco was all nauseous and vomiting, and it wouldve been nicer if you put more of his thoughts and feelings in the fic. Like, when Voldie told him about the mission, there couldve been more on what he felt, you know?
Pay attention to the imagery that your words create too. It's always important that you give concrete or vivid descriptions of scenes or feelings, because they're the ones that put color and make your story better. Instead of plainly stating things, try to think of a way where you could describe the scene in an understandable and smooth manner, and a way which would make your readers feel like they're actually in the fic.
Oh no, I've rambled on too much. :P You're already good though; you just need to sharpen up some rough edges here and there.
Happy writing!Author's Response: Thanks for the CC, and with a bow to you I will look it over and do the fixes when I can.
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that was so cool i loved it you did a great job so update ASAPAuthor's Response: Thanks for reading an for your review. I will be updating soonish. huggles ~~juls Report Review
To be utterly and completely honest.. I absolutely loved it! I love the idea of writing the behind the scenes moments of that summer. Once again you write beautifully and the chapter flows nicely. I wish we could have seen the reaction to Sirius' death since he played a big part in the previous story. We can really understand what would make Draco make the deal he has made, and Narcissa's evident pain. I still really enjoy the Snape/Narcissa relationship and hope to see much more. I am waiting anxiously for the next chapter. Keep up the amazing work, and update soon!Author's Response: This by far was my mosr favorite piece to write. I will show how Sirius' death effected Narcissa et al next chapter. Thanks so much for helping me begin that next chapter. =) huggles ~~juls Report Review
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