I liked it nice job keep it up man or woman not sure whichAuthor's Response: I am female and thanks... Report Review
I really like Jenny. So far it's about the best story idea I've seen for a Harry twin story.
I just wish there was more of it.
This goes for American Adventure as well.
It reads like a summary. Honestly, it's like someone cut out huge bits of the story, like those abridged things that you used to be able to buy.
There are several points where I would swear a chapter had disapeered, lots of tings that could have been expanded beautifully, and a large lack of character growth that could have been shown. Especially with the relationship between Jenny and Draco, and then onto Draco and Harry.
Something else that is missing, or perhaps overlooked, is some of the back story. There are a few elements that should be, well not explained, but briefly covered. Two that come to mind are why the Rangers are at Hogwarts (I know it's in American Adventure but it really should be mentioned in the sequel) and The horse Jessie. Jessie should have been forshadowed somewhere, and for that matter mentioned after he(?) was used as well. (As an idea having Jenny and Draco interact while she cared for Jessie, or teaching Harry to ride. Or Ginny, after all her Patronus is a horse)
One other thing that bothered me was why the Rangers were actually in the story. For most of it they seemd to do little except just be there. Towards the latter stages they could have been anybody. Ok, they played a part in the final showdown, but again there seemed to b little of them actually in it. This is another area that the story can expand in.
What would they have studied anyway, assuming they were studying?
I hope you plan to do a re-write of this as well, after American Adventure, and I'm really curious where the sequal to this will head. Personally, I'd like to see Harry (Well DD and Hermione) working out a way for Jenny to get her magic back, but that's just me.
Well written, and promising. Enjoyable too. (I only stopped reading to feed the kids) Just a bit thin.Author's Response: I'm glad you like her. Yeah, I've noticed that when I've re-read it lately and I am pretty sure that I am going to be re-writing it once the re-write of American Adventure is complete.
There are a few things for the sequel to it that need to be set up and I do see what you mean about the character development. That and I know my writing has inproved since I've completed that story. Though it will not be completly overhauled as American Adventure, it will be worked on and expanded a bit.
And I'm glad that you are curious about the sequel to it. I'm looking forward to writing it. Though unfortunatly, Jenny will not be getting her magic back in the sequel. The most she will be able to do is lumos.
I think this is the longest review that anyone has ever left me and I am so glad that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reviewing! Report Review
Cute ending. Can't wait to read the sequel.Author's Response: Thanks. Just warning you, it will be a while till the sequel. Report Review
I can't wait for the sequel! This story is one of the best ones I've read!Author's Response: Thanks. But it will be a while till the sequel. During the re-write of American Adventure, I'm going to be flushing out the plot. Report Review
put up that you made the sequel on this story when you do so that i kno when 2 check, kay?Author's Response: Thanks. I will. :) Report Review
sooo effin cute
update soon!Author's Response: thanks! The next and final chapter is with my beta and should be up soon. :) Report Review
Hm...I hate Ginny, so no comment on that. The end part was cute though. Keep it up.Author's Response: Really? She's one of ym favorite girls in the series. Thanks. Report Review
Very nice *Goes to read the next chapter*Author's Response: Thanks! :) Report Review
Sorry I didn't review sooner, but good job, and I still love that song XDAuthor's Response: It's okay. Thank you. Yes, I too love that song. XD Report Review
plz dont say this is the end...Author's Response: no, still two more chapters Report Review
Yes the show must always go on! XD Good job.Author's Response: thanks! Report Review
Aw, Poor Neville and Jenny. I hope she'll be okay :(Author's Response: yeah. she'll be fine, she just won't be able to do magic very often. Report Review
aww really cute but poor jenny!
update soon!Author's Response: thanks. I will Report Review
That was intense. Poor Harry though, I hope he doesn't die. Well, update soon.Author's Response: thanks. that's what I was aiming for. don't worry, he'll be fine. I will. next chap is almost done Report Review
so sad but really good
update soonAuthor's Response: thanks. I will Report Review
update really soon
i like it...Author's Response: II will. the next chapter is alomst done. glad you do. :) Report Review
Cool! Never thought Wormtail would really have the guts to kill himself though, but other than that, good job!Author's Response: thanks! Well, he certinaly doesn't have the guts to go to prison so I went with that instead. Report Review
i like it so far
update soonAuthor's Response: thanks
the next chapter is with my beta Report Review
Not bad. Write more soon.Author's Response: Thanks. The next chanpter is with my beta
update really soon
poor jenny :(Author's Response: the next chapter is almost done. I should finish it up tonight or tomarrow. Report Review
Things are starting to heat up huh?Author's Response: yep, the end of the story is nearing Report Review
update soonAuthor's Response: thanks. the next chapter is already with my beta. Report Review
Good for Percy! Can't wait for the next chapter.Author's Response: Took him long enough huh? The next chapter should be up very soon. I'm sending it to my beta today. Report Review
that was really good
i love both this and the prequal
update really soon!Author's Response: thanks! Glad you like them. the next chapter is currently with my beta and should be up soon. Report Review
Good chapter. I really like it. I can't wait until the next one.Author's Response: Thanks. Glad you liked it. 15 should be up real soon. :) Report Review
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