In my squeeing that someone else other than me is writing about barely known characters in hp, I couldn't help but notice something:
Rock and Roll didn't exist in the 1920s. So you're gonna have to cross that out of the list of things Marius likes. I don't think the genre was even dubbed as Rock and Roll until maybe.the 60s? Like - mid to late 60s? lol, that's just me taking a wild guess.
Off to see the rest of the story. =) Report Review
This is so sad. You make Marius sound so wise and intelligent! I mean, he is!!! I'll probably fall in love with your character sooner or later though! You make him sound super charming too! XD Keep it up! I really like it so far!!! :D Report Review
Wow! You are an amazing writer! You make Marius sound like a genius! I already love it! Great characterization, it's amazing. Btw... do you read The Vampire Chronicles? Or have you seen any of the movies? I know the name Marius... ;) Lol!!! I will definitely keep reading!!! Keep it up!! :D 10/10 Report Review
Haha, this is pretty amusing.
And off I go to the next chapter [:Author's Response: Oh wow...so that's cool. Sorry you haven't reviewed the other chapters.
And also, to everybody who was reading this story...sorry I dissappeared for you know, 2 years. But they were hectic! ...high school is hectic, right? As soon as I matriculate at my first-choice college, I promise to update! I have so many ideas! Report Review
That was a great chapter. I really think your writing style has improved a lot from the start of the story. I loved the birthday ploy pulled by An, and how Marius looses himself in books. Author's Response: Yeah, I loved that ploy, too! And I'm glad you think I've been improving: I think I have too, mostly because of the helpful advice I've been getting from reviews! Thanks for the great review, ragnatela_1! Report Review
Wow. This was scarring. I love how you describe their time at Ms. Bedford's house and how Marius/Richie loses himself in books. The birthday ploy by An - probably just for some icecream was ingenious, and I loved how Bedford's gift inadvertantly brought back bad memories for Marius. This was a brilliant chapter. :D
PS Sorry I got to this so late. I was out-of-town.Author's Response: Yeah, Mari is a bookaholic...and An mostly did it for the cake! Thanks for the review! And, speaking of late, I won't wait so long to write the next chapter! Report Review
Woah, this is getting better and better! You are really talented! I seldom found such a good story in here and I can't wait for the rest of it. You built a lot of tension and foreboding up in this chapter and I get the feeling that there is indeed a lot of good thing storytelling to wait for!Author's Response: I'm glad you think it's getting better *beams* I hope I continue to please with my story! Thanks Weatherwax! Report Review
hmm. Good, but not excellent. Maybe I'll like the second chapter more.
P.S. Colourful vocabulary could help.Author's Response: Vocabulary...I know, it's not too good int his one, 'specially the beginning (I must have learned at least 100 words since I began writing this:) I'll probably get to making an interesting intro some day....hopefully soon, if I can convince my lazy self to do so!
Thanks for the honest and helpful review, Hermionesclasses101! (and nice sn, too:) Report Review
*woot* I've finally read this! and I must say I love it... how An only keep him around because he knows so much... and yeah. =) hahha... this could have been real =) it's that good =) Author's Response: Thank you, Kaley! I'm glad you love it! Report Review
I really like your story! It's so much phantasie in there and I like Marius. He is such a nice boy and a very well developed character! I could do with such kind of dictionary myself from time to time. ;-) I hope life will become better for him soon!
I just realized that I'm really missing the magic stuff now that he's only surrounded by muggles. I hope a bit of it come back? Author's Response: Yeah...I am missing the magic, too...but it probably won't reappear until the mid-thirties or so (sorry!)....because it fits better with my plot. Glad you really like it and thanks for the review, weatherwax! Report Review
That was a great chapter. I adore the way you write An, and I loved how she only hangs around Marius so he can be her dictionary.
^___^Author's Response: Yeah...I adore writing An, she is so much fun! Thanks for the review! Report Review
Hmm . . . interesting. *is not sure whether Marius and An are going to stay there for more than a day* Anyways, I've absolutely enjoyed this unique outlook on a squib so far and on the HP verse in general. This was beautifully written, and I love how you write An and how Marius often serves as her dictionary/thesarus. Wonderful job. :DAuthor's Response: Oh, thank you again for the praise, delta! Mari will be at the old lady's for merely a night or so; but the next chapter is in 1929...I'm trying to pick up pace because I want the story to make it to present (well, present of the story...not sure when that is...) Report Review
Kind of a boring first chapter. I'm really not one for descriptions. Maybe the next chapter will be better - by the summary it sounds great.Author's Response: Oh, sorry about my intro. I can understand not liking it; it's just Marius rambling about himself, but I thought it better to do that than start off with my first chapter....which is so much different than the intro, I think, so hopefully you'll like it. If you don't, than I'm sorry, but I can't balme you because it has quite a few flaws (I'm too lazy to proofread and not the best writer...) but I'm glad my summary sounds great! Thanks for the review pigwidgeon385! Report Review
ooo, another interesting chapter ^_^
The nickname 'richie' makes me smile of some reason. An is really entertaining, and somehow her sentence makes me smile, well at least when she's making fun of Marius(not that I don't like him, I just find it amusing).
I guess Marius still haven't quite realized what has happened, and when the whole magic doesn't exist he finally realized that he would never become a wizard. poor guy...
I'm glad you've finally overcome your writersblock a little =D If you're short on ideas, I got one... not a good one, but still an idea... Maybe you can have Drell coming into town to shop or something, and then she see Marius... something alone those lines...
Hoping for an update soon =)
Ps:In case you didn't see my reply, I would have loved it if you can beta my story =) I'll send you an mail as soon as the next chapter is finished...Author's Response: Yeah, Marius was experiencing a bit of denial...glad you found An and Marius' banner amusing :D And Drell will meet Marius again (she's my fav character so I can't get rid of her yet) but thats not for a bit....
And once I saw this I quickly flipped back to your reply; thanks for accepting my beta services :) Report Review
I thought that chapter was quite funny, what with Marius being an insensitive idiot, I really felt sorry for him. I really like the character of An, and I also like Marius' first person narritive, which I think got more sarcastic or something in this chapter. Anyway it was really good =)Author's Response: Yeah, Marius got sarcastic...partially because I was in a sarcastic mood but mostly because hes being sullen about being stuck in muggleland...And An is one of my favorite characters..thanks! Report Review
Wonderful story. I've really enjoyed reading this outlook on one of the lesser known and definitely very interesting characters. I love how you shape the Blacks and their interactions and prejudices. You've truly crafted a beautiful story here. :D (You double-posted this chapter, btw, so delete Chp 15)Author's Response: Thanks for the bit about double-posting; just deleted the second And also thank you delta for the lovely compliments; I've had a blast writing about the Blacks, I'm not sure how well the rest will go because I don't know squat about England, let alone in the twenties and thirties (so don't be surprised, readers, by a very Americanized Great Depression because my research is pretty fruitless right now) Once again, delta, your review was very kind so thank you ^_^ Report Review
this story is amazing so far, so well written. i really enjoy the different time-era and view point of a squib, though i really hope Marius' life gets better lol
update soon!Author's Response: "amazing and wellwritten": Thank you so much! Marius life can't be bad forever: he doesn't sound too shabby as he's telling does he? I thought he sounded decently well in the prologue.. Report Review
I like An, shes cool, lol. I hope she sticks around for a while.
Great chapter :)Author's Response: Yeah, I like An a ton too, almost as muach as Mari...she'll be around for quite a bit! Report Review
it's was a funny conversation, very realistic =) at least he got a friend now, well sort of... Well, I assumed it was a girl, but I was not positive hahah, that line actually made me laugh out loud...
this is getting really exciting!! I'm currently trying to figure out what's going to happen next with Marius, but I can't come up with something realistic. I really want to know what happens next... =P
Btw, I'v been having some trouble writing the next chapter... (writers block) but hopefully my friend will help me figuring something out =)Author's Response: Tell ya the truth, I don't know what's going to happen to Mari next, either! Well, I have some ideas, but the next chapter is stumping me...Hopefully you're writer's block will be conquered, too! Thanks, Kaley! Report Review
thats so cute.i liked their conversation. i wonder where ths an character is going...Author's Response: 'Cute'..funny how much this story has changed since chapter number 1!
An...she's going a couple places; I'm not so sure, she's a tad tentative still....But I hope you like her because she's going to be around for quuite a while if it goes the way I'm planning now...Thanks as always to your wonderful reviews hermione rory7! Report Review
aww... Poor Marius!! That was really sad, I almost cried... I felt so bad for him... poor guy. where is he suppose to stay? with no money, nothing at all... well at least he's clean now... well... I have to know what happen to him, looking forward to the next chapter =)Author's Response: Hey Kaley, thanks for the review! And poor Mari is in for a bit of rough times ahead...caonsidering the Deppresion is hitting the muggle world and all...glad you're looking forward to the next chappie! (update your own story soon please, I must know what happens to angel...) Report Review
i really like like it, it kinda reminds me of ELLA ENCHANTED with the mother dying and the dad being cold or whatever
PS Cassiopiea is pronounced CASS-E-O-PEE-A or CASS-E-O-PAY-A Author's Response: I think I would say the first (CASS-ee-o-pee-ah) I'm not sure if that's right tho...Plus I shorten her to Cassi a lot to keep it simple...and I never saw the Ella Enchanted(adored that book, but I haven't read it in years...)/Cinderella connection before probably becuase I thought the dad's were halfways okay whereas Cygnus is very very bad/cold...anyway, thank you for reviewing another one of my stories the pink werewolf! (love your name too) Report Review
Interesting chapter...I would of thought the Black's are more respected than that, but well, I could be wrong...
Poor Marius, not accepted with the Blacks, not accepted by anyone else. =(Author's Response: You're not wrong, the Blacks are respected by wizards, but this woman was muggle...and I think that the muggles probably hated and feared them, but since Marius is 11 and beat up, she doesn't fear him just hates him (let's just say Cygnus, Pollux, and the others aren't very kindly to their muggle neighbors....oh and the Fidelius charm (is that it?) that protects Number twelve Grimmauld Place is sorta being disregarded in my story too.....and Marius will be accepted eventually...thank you ragnatela_1! Report Review
wow, that was SWEET!Author's Response: Thank you! I was worried about this chapter and thinking of re-writing it by tomorrow, but now I might just leave it up...you are a really awesome reviewerer hermione rory7, very faithful indeed! I think I may check out your stories (not now, cuz im supposedly doing hw but went on here becuase its so cool!yay) Anyway glad you thought this chapter waas good! Report Review
that was so good, yet so sad. it had a ton of emotion in it. i loved it! it was purely amazingAuthor's Response: Thank you *takes bow* I am trying to make MAri a bit more real and less superficial...I think that he's a bit shallow in the beginning so I'm trying to get his emotional side more....not so easy; the next chapter he is not portrayed nearly as well...hes shallower again I think...I'll probably end up re-writing some parts of this story...thanks for thinking it was amazing though! Report Review
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