Reading Reviews for First Date
  
46 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ginny_roxmysox The First Date

5th November 2007:
Aw...sweet happy ending! Nicely done.
Sabrina :)

Author's Response: Thanks :]
-Nicole


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Review #2, by goodbyetoyou The First Date

23rd September 2007:
aww that was adorable. I loved how you got all the lyrics with the story. good job!

Author's Response: Thanks. Glad you liked it.
-Nicole


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Review #3, by GrungGranger The First Date

15th September 2007:
“It doesn’t matter, I just want to be with you,” If I ever heard those words directed at me, I would evaporate on the spot. What a really nice story. I'm old now, but I remember that first kiss and you captured the feeling perfectly. Thank you for bringing back such memories. I will be checking out your other stories. I hope they are as good.
Grung


Author's Response: Thanks. Glad you liked it.
-Nicole


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Review #4, by Nikki The First Date

8th August 2007:
I've read all your stories, and u r my fave author
very good R/Hr fluff, with them all nervous, just the way JKR would have done it

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I'm flattered that I'm your favorite. I'm glad you liked the story.
-Nicole


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Review #5, by PinkRose The First Date

2nd August 2007:
That was adorable I loved it! Good Job 10/10

Author's Response: Glad you liked it. =]
-Nicole


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Review #6, by clairedot The First Date

5th June 2007:
aw i love it!!!

Author's Response: Glad you liked it =]
-Nicole


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Review #7, by musicgirlhp14 The First Date

11th May 2007:
Good job, if this is your first fanfic. A nice fluffy one-shot. Good job! [again]
~Alex

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it.
-Nicole


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Review #8, by andharrywokeup The First Date

7th April 2007:
This is a very sweet little AU fic you've got her! :) Just watch out for those accidental tense switches! ~ andharrywokeup from the REVIEWERS CIRCLE at SAYS. :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'll check over the tenses. Thanks for the review.
-Nicole


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Review #9, by Frenchie The First Date

18th February 2007:
Yay! I love this song, and I'm really glad someone made a song-fic out of it! This was really good. My only complaint is that it all happened a bit too quickly. You went from each scene without much of a transition (other than the song, that is). Otherwise, it's really great. Nice job!

Author's Response: To be honest, I never really heard the song before I started writing the fic. I know it's rushed, but, hey, it was my first fic. When I feel up to it, I'll work on fixing it up and giving it some tweaks [and a new banner!]. Glad you liked it.
-Nicole


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Review #10, by Anony_Mouse The First Date

6th February 2007:
Awww, Nicole this is so sweet! I wuv it very, very much!!! (Becomes two-year-old saying that) No, seriously love, it's really sweet and I really enjoyed it. You kept Ron very in character, which is hard, and altogether, this was just nice and cute! I love Ron and Hermione one-shot's.*sigh*. This is one of the awesome-er ones!!!

Author's Response: MARA! Glad you wuved it. lol. I wanna cookie! [being 2 years old too! haha.] YAY! You though I kept Ron in character. I had some issues with doing that. I love R/Hr one-shots too. Glad you liked it!
-Nicole


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Review #11, by be_happy The First Date

2nd February 2007:
cute story, i liked it alot.

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it.
-Nicole


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Review #12, by Nutters4Potter The First Date

25th January 2007:
So sweet.

Author's Response: thanks =]
-Nicole


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Review #13, by Jeshika The First Date

25th January 2007:
Way cute!!! Awesome first fic, good job!

10/10

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing!
-Nicole


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Review #14, by juls The First Date

16th January 2007:
I loved this Nicole-- you had those first date emotions down pat. I loved how they were both nervious, but really showed how much they wanted to be together. And the first kiss-- YAY!
Perfect. ~~juls

Author's Response: JULS! Glad you liked the emotion and what not. Of course they had to kiss. It's a cliche, and is very necessary. ha. Thanks for reviewing.
-Nicole


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Review #15, by Healer_25 The First Date

15th January 2007:
did you mean to say sit here? heh he added prettier second, personally I'd be offended If I was Hermione.

erm...there are some small spelling mistakes and grammar things, like the random words in () I don't think you really need them.

Other than that I like the concept, and its a good story. for a song fic.

Author's Response: Probably, I'm not sure what spot you're talking about though.

I'll go back and fix grammar/spelling, you know, the stuff you mentioned.

Glad you like the story, and thanks for the review.
-Nicole


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Review #16, by RonaldBilius The First Date

5th January 2007:
Okay, I'm gonna give you some constructive critisism. Ron and Hermione's relationship was quite rushed and you had trouble capturing Hermione's character. Also, Ron was okay with Harry and Ginny being together in the sixth book. But other than that I think it was a very nice story and you should continue writing. You'll only get better and better! :)

Author's Response: Oh, constructive critisism, good. I know it was rushed, and like I said before to other people, I have major issues writing Hermione. I know Ron was okay with H/G in book 6, but I don't think that was when they were snogging in public. lol. Thanks for the review!
-Nicole


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Review #17, by HermyJane The First Date

5th January 2007:
It was very fast and just to warn you, using a ball to get the two of them together is quite cliche (yes, I'm guilty of it too, so don't worry...). Hermione was a little out of character (hence the whole 'find a smarter girl than me' thing. I think Hermione's smart enough to know that it would be difficult for Ron to find someone smarter than her, lol). Adding descriptions is a great way to make it seem more real. You could have put the Christmas Ball descriptions into more detail, and also don't forget Ron's emotions, especially during the kiss. Details, details! 7/10

Author's Response: I had no idea about cluches when I wrote this lol. I know Hermione was a little OOC, she's the hardest character for me to write. I'll add some more detail to everything when I get around to some more editing. Emotion *headdesk* I always forget that...! Thanks for the review!
-Nicole


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Review #18, by ElissandrAnne The First Date

5th January 2007:
Aww... That was so sweet! And cute too. You really captured teen romance. They are best friends, and yet they are so not self-confident all of a sudden, because their relationship has changed. I liked the bit about Ron telling Harry he would murder him in his sleep - that was a very "big brother" reaction. Good job, Nicole!

Anne

Author's Response: Anne! I love teen romance, considering I am a teen lol. What I wrote was based on movies with friends-turned-boyfriend/girlfriend, and the HP books. It was so fun! Big Brother!Ron was fun to wrote too [wow...the word fun is redundant]. Thanks for the review!
-Nicole


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Review #19, by Loveable Punk The First Date

3rd January 2007:
No grmactical errors in this that I could find. One piece of the song wasn't in italics, "You make me nervous so I really can't eat."

One thing that I find hard about song fics is the choice to let the song be a part of the story as narration, or have the song influence the dialogue and where the story goes. My personal prference is this: I look at the song almost as just that, a song. The background music to the story, if you will. In this song-fic you let the story dominate the dialogue. If it was said in the song, they said it in the story. This caused it to become repetitive at some points, where at other points you just let the song act as narration and it was fine. I guess my point in all this is to not have the song say something and then have the characters say it as well. But, then again, that's my personal preference, not a hard and fast rule.

Overall, 7/10

Author's Response: I fixed the little grammar error, I just can't remember if I submitted the edit yet. I need to check :P glad you caught that though

You have a point, song-fics are harder to write than they look. I know the song basically took over the plot but I wasn't exactly sure how to put the song in. Thanks for pointing out the way the story fit into the song. I'll try putting that song in a different way the next time I write a song fic [if I ever do, lol].

Thanks for the review!
-Nicole


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Review #20, by 0MFGZshes__DEADLY The First Date

1st January 2007:
haha aww that was cute. even though i'm not much of an R/Hr shipper, i still thought it was adorable. just because i can totally see them being so meek and shy around each other even though they've been best friends since their first year.

it did, slightly, feel rushed though. not all of it, just near the ending. with the whole 'kiss' thing. it works though, because it is a songfic.

overall, well done for a first. =]

Author's Response: Glad you thought it was cute, that's what I was going for. It was how I imagined them being around eachother in a relationship instead of a friendship.

I know it was a little rushed, I might add some more details to slow it down a bit. Glad you thought it worked though. Thanks for the review!
-Nicole


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Review #21, by MysticalE The First Date

28th December 2006:
Aw, that's really sweet. Very fluffy, but I love it!

Author's Response: thanks =] I know it's fluffy, and I'm glad you loved it.
-Nicole


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Review #22, by canadianstar The First Date

26th December 2006:
Such a cute plot for such a fluffy feel good story :) I like this, it's so fitting for the song (the lyrics anyways, I've only heard it a few times and can't remember the tune or anything).


I had a few problems with some of the more cliched moments (the "You're beautiful" thing was probably the worst), but I think that's just me, because this is really the type of story they belong in.


I really liked the awkwardness between them, especially when they were worried about what the other would think of them. It seems like something that would happen since they're friends, so it would be really uncomfortable at times.


Everything in here fits really well, and I have no real complaints. Maybe a bit more description about how they're feeling, maybe a scene with Hermione in it at the beginning?


I also like Ron's protectiveness over Ginny: really in cannon, and the way Hermione handled it was right on. MOst girls would be getting annoyed after a while, but she understands him because they're friends.


There were a few grammar mistakes, but nothing that a beta can't fix :)


Overall, I found the story enjoyable. I'm giving you a 7/10 again, but only because of the grammar mistakes and the lack of description. I think you have a lot of potential to become an even greater writer :)

Author's Response: Glad you like the plot, and the fluffiness. I thought the song was perfect when I read the lyrics [I was on some lyric site just looking for a good song]. Honestly, I've never actually heard the song.

The akwardness was fun to write, because I really think that's how they would act. Neither of them are relationship experts, but I love them together anyways.

I'll work on adding detail, this was my first fic and I haven't actaully gone through and fixed things since it was last updated. I also like your suggestion about having a scene with Hermione in the beginning, it's a good idea.

*sigh of relief* I was really nervous about whether or not Ron was in canon with his over-protective big-brother-ness. And Hermione was okay too? Good, because I have major issues writing her.

I'll get a beta eventaully, after I do some editing and expanding myself. Thanks so much for the great review!
-Nicole


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Review #23, by greatest of 'em all The First Date

26th December 2006:
As your first fic, it was cool. Somehow, you captured teenage romance at it's best. The softness, nervousness and hesitation made it all seem very real. You need to work on your sentence formation a little bit, but apart from that the mood of romance was captured very nicely. It's a little short, maybe more detail regarding the background will help but considering you wrote it along a song, you stuck with the song pretty well. Overall I'd say, you brought out Ron's character the best. I loved him as jealous, as nervous, it was very well written. Also, if you start the fic differently it would help. The opening lines were too direct.

But Ronmione is one of my favorites and I love the way you portray them as shy and hesitant. I had a lovely time seeing them unfold to each other. Good job!

Author's Response: I'm glad you think I captured teenage romance at it's best. It might have to do with the fact that I'm a teenager, and watch A LOT of teen-romance TV shows and stuff. I know it's kinda short, I'll work on detailing it. I love Ron, and I'm glad you thought I wrote him in canon. Ronmione is one of my favorites too. Thanks for the review!
-Nicole


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Review #24, by harrypottersangel The First Date

25th December 2006:
A little rushed for my tastes, but for a first fic it was very good! I won't lie and say my first fic was bloody fantastic... or anything near it! We all start with basically rubbish compared to what's on here, and yours is much higher on the scale for firsts than most firsts are! (if that made any sense... if not it was a compliment i promise!) I hope you keep writing! With a couple more reviews and c/c's you could definitely be one of the best on here :D
With Much Christmas Love ~K

Author's Response: I know it's a little rushed, but I'm glad you though it was good for a first fic. I'm glad I'm high on the scale. Thanks for the review =]
-Nicole


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Review #25, by Weasley twins rock The First Date

24th December 2006:
Okay you signed up on the forum to be reviewed so here is the constructive criticism

Not too bad for a first fic. A couple of errors near the beginning. A couple of sentences I don't think made much sense. Ron and Harry were both very in charcter you did very well with them but I think that Hermioen would be more bossy and conscious of what everyone else thought. There is a sentence that doesn't make sense. Perhaps it was a line from the song.

"You make me nervous so I really can't eat" didn't fit in with the rest, if it is lyrics then you just need to put it in italics.

Apart from those minor errors it was good on the most part characterisation was good as was the quality of the writing. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: I'm glad you thought this was okay for a first fic. It needs some editing, I know. Yes! I was really nervous about writing Harry and Ron in canon and I'm glad you thought they were in canon. The eating thing was a line from the song that I forgot to italicize, I'll fix that. Thanks for the review!
-Nicole


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