62 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ms Irony Dizzy

22nd July 2007:
There is just one thing I wonder about. How does Sirius feel? He seems to be pretty okay with the fact that he stabbed his best friend in the back.

Author's Response: Okay, this is going to sound like a cop-out or an excuse, but honestly, it's not. First of all, let's be clear that this story is written from Lily's point of view, so you'll never actually get a behind the scenes of what Sirius is feeling, or what James is feeling, or what any of the other characters are feeling. Now, I've always seen Sirius as the type to hide his feelings. Not hide, so much, as there's a wall between him and the rest of the world. He's not particularily sensitive; he wouldn't betray his feelings or emotions to Lily, and he's very good about keeping his face stoic. That was her major complaint to him--that he couldn't show emotion, that he acted like he didn't care.

James and Sirius are best friends. Read any of the books with them both in it and it's apparent that Sirius would never want to hurt James. He's actually telling Lily to keep it secret so that James doesn't get hurt.

The main point I'm trying to get at is that Sirius very well might feel guilty, but we won't know; the story is about Lily and not him, and since it's written from Lily's point of view, she's never privy to what Sirius is feeling. Sorry for the long tangent and round about way that it took me to get here, but there you have it :) That's a great observation, though--I hope you found my answer adequate.

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Review #2, by Romina Stephanie Dizzy

2nd July 2007:
This chapter was as good as the last!

I liked the introduction of Lily's parents here, though I must say that Lily's mother did not seem to have a clue of what was going on in Lily's head, which made me sad (oh, I'm always sad, haha). But I guess that's why she keeps running to Sirius, because he sees her, understands her. I really like that particular bond they share.

I was wondering about the memory; was it Sirius? Besides from the sudden and abrupt ending, I liked it. Both seemed happy. Again, curious as to where this is heading. What'll happen? Will she found happiness in the presence of James or will she regret it? Ah, don't want to think about it. What if she does regret it? Makes my heart ache.

This is a great story; everything from the characterization to the plot-line. I can't wait for an update! =) Good job so far!

Author's Response: No, Lily's mother doesn't get Lily at all. I definitely think that part of it is that Sirius understands Lily--I see him as very perceptive, but also that he's more blunt than someone so understanding might be.

As for the memory, this may seem like a cop-out but the ending was meant to be abrupt--she's kind of jolted out of her thoughts because I see her as daydreaming on the way there. It's not necessarily Sirius--although it could be, I couldn't decide so I made him nameless. The provobial 'he' is basically just anyone she'd had something with in her past (probably not James, although, take it as you like, it could be him). She's kind of reminiscing about past relationships and flings... thinking about everything she's leaving behind as she prepares to get married.

Thank you immensely for all your reviews. I am trying to get another chapter up as soon as possible.

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Review #3, by Romina Stephanie Shiver

2nd July 2007:
Another great chapter (apart from the fact that seeing Lily doubting her love for James keeps breaking my heart!). Well, I was warned, hehe.

Anyways, you've dug further deep in Lily and given us a picture of her emotions and personality - her shattered soul. She's scared and confused. I loved the way you portray her - realistically. It's very good. I also loved Sirius's role in this; trying to reassure her, to convince her that she loves James. I wonder if that breaks his heart? I also wonder if Lily'll tell James the truth. And if he'd marry her, despite her unfaithfulness.

Again, you've written this wonderfully, giving a clear image at the front of my head and I see what they see. It's awesome. Anyways, need to know more, so I'm off! Once again, great job!

Author's Response: Thank you for all your compliments. I'm glad to see that you like it, and yes, I understand that to James/Lily shippers this could be a bit jolting. Before I became a Sirius/Lily reader, I actually had a tough time reading the ship as well.

Thanks again!

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Review #4, by Romina Stephanie Tangled

2nd July 2007:
This was a really good first chapter. I'm not a fan of Sirius/Lily at all, but I'm still interested of where this is going.

The characterization of Lily was very good and I think you caguht her confusion, or somewhat desperation, amazingly. She was very believable, and I really liked that.

I loved the way you wrote this; you were descriptive and gave a perfect picture of how she felt, not letting me getting all confused as to why she was with Sirius in the first place.

Anyways, since I'm very curious of where this is heading, I'm off reading chapter two. Great job so far!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I really want Lily to be real and as believable as possible, so I really appreciate that. Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #5, by Ms Irony Dizzy

27th June 2007:
good job. I have to admit I'm sorta mad that Lily cheated, cause I'm one of those people who wish for happily ever after.

Author's Response: Thank you :) Yeah, I totally understand--I can be like that too. Thanks for your input!

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Review #6, by Ms Irony Shiver

27th June 2007:
I love this! I really do. There is a reason why I'm called Ms Irony, and the last few sentences of this chapter reminded my of why. Ur use of irony is great!

Author's Response: Thanks. Irony is a fantastic writing tool. Thanks for your compliments!

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Review #7, by Ms Irony Tangled

27th June 2007:
OMG! I'm so surprised I love it!

Author's Response: Thanks :)

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Review #8, by St Jade Dizzy

30th May 2007:
Honestly, your writing style is heavenly. You make everything so real; I don't think I can put it any better than that. This is the second time I've read this chapter and once again I had to remind myself that it is purely fiction! I keep thinking of Lily as an existing person (one who I would very much like to shake and hug) instead of a book character. I know I can't wait for your next update! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much. I think that's one of the most important things to me, to make characters real and to make the situation viable. Thank you for your lovely, lovely review!

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Review #9, by forsakenphoenix Dizzy

28th May 2007:
Gah. You're so perfect at writing the emotions of a confused young woman who is on the verge of getting married and completely unsure of her love, her loyalty. It's unbelievable what one night of infidelity can cause on an engagement.

There was this one paragraph that particularly grabbed my attention and took hold. It was where Lily arrives at James's apartment and kisses him, and you can tell that she's so desperate to seek that same feeling she felt when she kissed Sirius. I like how you make it so that with James, Lily feels safe and secure, but that's not what she wants anymore. She wants what she can find with Sirius -- something away from this life she's created for herself.

I'm really pleased with how you've written Lily; her confusion and frustration and hesitation. It's all so wonderfully coordinated and paced nicely. Brilliant, brilliant story.

Author's Response: I feel like anyone would feel really safe with someone who's always made it clear that they're willing to do anything for them, and that's how I see James, as willing to do anything for Lily, and so loyal to her. Sirius is almost free of a lot of things, emotional attachment to some extent, but also free of commitment because he's so emotionally removed from her sometimes.

Thank you so much, once again!

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Review #10, by forsakenphoenix Shiver

28th May 2007:
So, I've finally gotten around to reading and reviewing this. I apologize profusely for my lack of attention to your stories -- you know I don't do it on purpose.

As I finish this chapter, I'm left with such a melancholy feeling; there's an aching in my chest and knots in my stomach. There's so much to Lily that none of us know, that none of us dream of being able to write and you...you write this beautiful woman who everyone thought was perfect and you lay her out for us, dissect her and pinpoint her flaws. You show us a side of Lily that everyone else is afraid to acknowledge, and that's what I love so much about this piece.

It also hurts so much, too. That James is so trusting of Lily, even when he walks in on Lily clinging so tightly to Sirius, seeking some sort of reassurance. And the fact that Sirius wants to lie to James, because he'd rather have him oblivious than broken and *dies*, it's just...you write this scene so perfectly well. The dialogue, the actions...all the questions that are going through both of their minds. You've got it down so incredibly well. You're such an amazing writer and you really bring these characters to life with this story. I love it. :)

Author's Response: You are the sweetest person in the world, did you know? I hate responding because this kept cheering me up whenever I looked at it in the 'unanswered reviews'.

I think I pinpoint her flaws because, well, perfect people are boring to be perfectly honest and I'm not interested about writing that at all. I think we all know how it is to put on a facade and pretend everything's alright when it's not.

Thank you so much for all your compliments, dear! You've made me inexplicably happy and I'm so glad that you like it.

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Review #11, by sarahblack Dizzy

27th May 2007:
I'm an extremely avid James/Lily shipper... and I love this story. I absolutely positively love it! Its a good sign that nothings perfect. And their relationship shouldn't be perfect because Lily swore her hate to him for oh-so long.

I give you a ten, ma'am.

Author's Response: Thank you! This was one of the nicest reviews I've gotten in awhile :)

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Review #12, by harrypotterlover Dizzy

26th May 2007:
wow! i never really read a kind of lily-sirius story before but i am most certainly loving this story! I love the way you write, has so much power in them and its so realistic that it drawns you in. very well done! cannot wait for an update, plzzz dont take so long! xP

Author's Response: Thank you very, very much. I definitely will not :) Thank you for your lovely and kind words!

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Review #13, by SilverDaggers Dizzy

23rd May 2007:
Whoo, update! I'd almost forgotten about this, and then BAM there it was at the top of my favourites list. My heart aches for Lily, silly girl that she is, of course she loves James! But Sirius... well let's just say I know where she's coming from. Glad to hear that there will be regular updates from now on, I'll be waiting!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm sure quite a few others did too =). Thanks for your review!

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Review #14, by _Prongs_Lily_Flower_ Dizzy

22nd May 2007:
Wow. It was eight months that i waited for an update? Good thing you finally did.
You seem to know what you're saying, as if you've actually been through it all.hm...=/

Author's Response: It was eight months =(. I can sympathize with Lily's emotions of not wanting to commit and being scared to leave things behind, but I've never personally been through an experience anything like this. If you're talking about my author note, what I meant was that this story is a step in a new direction for me in terms of my writing.
Thanks for your review!

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Review #15, by Jaggy Dizzy

22nd May 2007:
Yay an update!!! I'm very excited, and I'm loving the feeling of doubt Lily's having...quite understandable, that need to get away, the desire to have a romantic be irrational...I so know the feeling...lol. Great job! 10/10

Author's Response: Aw, thank you Jaggy! Yes... the irrationality of her thoughts is really important because she's panicking and that's what people do when they panic :)

Thanks for your review!

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Review #16, by LaliathIell Dizzy

21st May 2007:
There is no damage whatsoever!

I really like the differences you show in James and Sirius, and when Sirius is telling Lily that she loves James. Very emotional and dramatic; intense.

I agree with Bibbs; Lily's mom seems kind of evil =/

I really and truly and honestly think it was a wonderful chapter, my friend! Never doubt your writings, because you're an amazing author, and nothing coming from you could ever be "not so great."

Author's Response: Thank you so much, sweetie!

You have no idea how much it means to me that you like this, thank you so much for your support and kind words. And yes, Lily's mom is kind of evil :)

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Review #17, by Bibbs Dizzy

21st May 2007:
*die* It is about time.

Well, first of all I hated Lily's mom. She just bothered me. And I've already told you that I didn't enjoy that part of the chapter, but you know it is only because I didn't like her. Not because of your writing. So I think that is quite the compliment that I was so into a story that I actually disliked somebody. XD

This chapter seemed to go by so fast considering that it is over 3,000 words. I really loved the scene between James and Lily. Being a massive James fan, I think you really nailed him in just that short section. I love the way Lily describes him, he really does sound perfect, but perfect isn't really what he wants. But I think I like him even more than I did before after reading this. He completely doesn't understand what her problem is (how could he) and I love that he has such loyalty to everyone and everything around him. Its perfect and I dont know how to say anything else about that.

But my favorite scene was by far when Sirius confronts her in her dressing room. The way you write them, they really do have chemistry together. I love the way he talks to her, and I love the way he convinces her over and over that she is doing the right thing. His characterization is perfect - i love that he burst out shouting and then adds silencio AFTERwards. lol. I love everything about him here.

As usual, you have a lovely style of writing. Your words simply flow together and they are neither too much nor too little. Its simple yet mature at the same time and I really wish I could write like that.

Now you better stick to that AN and never leave it hanging for 8 months again.

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

And thanks for noticing the length, I'm so proud over that because it's my longest chapter ever and I don't think I've ever managed anything over 1500 :P

I'm glad you liked those two scenes. They almost did me in, especially the one with James, because he's really hard for me to write.

Thank you so much for you compliments! I will stick to the A/N :)

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Review #18, by accidental dreamer Shiver

18th March 2007:

I'm in total love with it.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #19, by Lynx Silverhawk Shiver

20th December 2006:
Again, amazing chapter! The characters are all so realistic!

Author's Response: Thanks for the great compliments!!

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Review #20, by Lynx Silverhawk Tangled

20th December 2006:
This is amazingly written! (gotta love sirius/lily!) And I really like the plot!

Author's Response: Thank you very much :)

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Review #21, by LaDorki Shiver

23rd November 2006:
Okay, I'm finally back to review this chapter. I've only read it about four times. =) This, just like everything else you have written, is just lovely. Everything is elegantly put together - there's just enough, not too much, you know what I mean? Mundane scenes - the shower, for example - are filled with meaning and emotion. It's really wonderful to read, because you don't overflow the page with words and just say things as they are, but in a beautiful way. I'm really excited to see more interaction between Lily and James. I feel so badly for both of them. Great work, doll. Keep it up. =D

Author's Response: Thank you, hon! I was really trying for just that and I'm glad you saw it. Lily and James will certainly have some interactions in the near future :) Thanks for your lovely review!

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Review #22, by Novatrix Shiver

8th November 2006:
*Slaps forehead* Haha, now that makes much more sense! Okay, your first chapter is perfect. Don't mind me. By the end of the chapter I was grinning quite disconcertingly -- you've played these characters against each other well! As I made my way through the chapter I couldn't help but wonder how you'd write James (given the author's note, you know) and you exceeded my expectations. They all seem so realistic, and the characterisations are subtle enough that they seem more like people than characters. Excellent, excellent work. My favorite lines were those that concluded the chapter ("James’s eyes scanning the floor strewn with clothes... “There’s a boy,” she heard James slapping Sirius’s back as she walked out, “did you have a girl over last night?”). Brilliantly wry, and in stark contrast to the fierce attitude the chapter began with. This is art! Consider your story favorited, adored, and stalked.

Author's Response: Hahaha... okay :) They're supposed to seem more human and less like characters... that was actually one of the major things I was hoping to achieve and I'm glad you found that. Those were my favorite lines too, those are the ones that actually came before the rest of the chapter: I knew I wanted to end with those lines. I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #23, by Novatrix Tangled

8th November 2006:
Oh. OH. Oh, my. That was such a fantastic, brilliant beginning. From the first sentence I was drawn into the story, and after your author's note I spent the majority of the first several paragraphs wondering 'James? Or Sirius?' Your take on the relationship so far has been so unique and intriguing. The depth and vivacity of the characters is stunning, and the writing perfectly fluid and engaging. However, I'm furious to see that you only have two chapters! Your style is absolutely breath-taking--I'm quite jealous. The only suggestion I would have would be to iron out the last few lines of the italizized section (beginning with "James") because it was hard for me to follow who was speaking, unless the ambiguity among chaos was intentional...? Either way, I'm stunned and so involved in reading this story that I'll have to leave a long review on the next chapter! Very evocative chapter title, by the way. It's unfortunate that the rating scale only goes up to ten. ^_^

Author's Response: Thank you! Your review has just made me really happy, I'm smiling so much. First, I want to thank you for your CC, I'm going to look at it again :) Second, I will never read this review again for fear my head will get too big :-P I'm only kidding, of course. I'm glad you liked the characters and the way the relationship was portrayed. Thanks again for your lovely review!!

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Review #24, by Kbugmc1229 Shiver

5th November 2006:
Once again I love your wording. This chapter had a few ackward moments mainly concerning Lily's emotions. Sirius is portrayed perfectly but Lily doesn''t feel like a women that has just cheated and am I correct in assuming that this affair has been going on for a while because that is not to clear either. Wonderful job and I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: Well... Lily isn't supposed to feel like a woman who has just cheated; yes she's done it before, but her mind isn't really wrapping around what she's just done very well. She's being really selfish here, she's so much less concerned with James as with how James affects her. Her emotions consider herself first. She's not being giving and she's cutting everyone very little slack.

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Review #25, by Kbugmc1229 Tangled

5th November 2006:
Wow.I love your imagery. What a wonderful way to begin a story.

Author's Response: Thanks!

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