Okay, so I thought it was pretty good, but I think you should have left the line, "Otherwise, just shut up." off. It kinda ruins the moment. It's all fluffy and romantic, and then he tells her to shut up? I mean, I know you meant it in a sarcastic way, but I still think it killed it.
Other than that, I thought it was great! Report Review
Well done. I like the progression of Lily's thoughts paired with the recollection of her conversations with James--it carried the story well. Love the story! :) Report Review
good job, very funny! I loved the kiss! Interesting way of doing it...
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cute! i liked it good job! Report Review
I loved it! I particularly liked the flashbacks-- I thought they fit in very nicely. Awesome job. I thought it was an interesting twist, Lily being friendly with Sirius. Typically people put Remus as friends with Lily, but this was unique. It was sweet with just the right amount of humor. I'll have to check out your page. Great job and I can't wait to read more of your writing! Report Review
Aww I loved it. But I'm trying to figure out when James came in. Was he standing there listening and sit down when the ink bottle exploded or did he switch places with Sirius at the beginning of the conversation and she didn't notice? I loved it though. Keep writing good stories cause this was awesome. :]:]. Report Review
Odd and a little confussing but beside that pretty good Report Review
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