this is one of the best i've read. it is short and to the point. i greatly enjoyed reading it though it was so sad. i love how you showed harry's point of view and then to his rescue. i cried like a baby while reading it. thank you for this. it was very well writen and took on a great voice of it's own.Author's Response: wow! Thanks very much!! Reading this has just made my day :D Report Review
Oh, you are evil. Very very few stories manage to make me actually cry. This story was one of them. It was revolting how Voldemort treated him and how they found him in the end. I feel sorry for Harry, but more so Ginny, Ron and Hermione. You did a very good job with the flawless description and portrayal of characters, especially Harry...and the flow. Very good job! 9 out of 10 ^_^Author's Response: WhooHoo! I made you cry! Awesome! Seriously, thanks very much for your comment :D Report Review
Wow...just...wow. This was amazing. It had me bawling. My cheeks are soaked with tears, and so are my hands from trying to wipe away the tears. This was soo good...amazing. I am adding this story to my favorites. From reading this story and the other one you submitted, I can tell that there is a major improvement in your writing. This story was an excellent read. Thank you so much for entering this in my challenge.
Love from Drue
xoxoxoAuthor's Response: Hey! Wow! Thanks!! You're welcome :) I'm glad I made you....cry... But seeing as that's the effect I was going for, whoo hoo!! Really? You see an improvement? *scratches head thoughtfully* Okay! I'll take that complement :D Thanks! Hey, if you've got time, I'd love it if you stopped by some of my other stories *wink* You give great reviews! I love the detailed reviews of what people liked and disliked. Report Review
Wow, it's so descriptive and well written. It's so sad though! Anyways i enjoyed the story, Nice Work!Author's Response: Thanks so very much! Report Review
This is really excellent! 10/10. Snape was in character and it was really sad.Author's Response: Thanks so very much! So glad to hear you liked it! Report Review
Oh my goodness! This was so dark, and so tragic, and so moving. I love how you incorporated her poem, line by line as you did. I read that challenge and passed it up, but you've done a terrific job. I only hope this isn't the end. And if it is, you've done a great job with a tragic ending! Author's Response: Thanks :D I'm glad you gave it a chance :) Yeah, it's the end, so thanks! I still don't think it's dramatic enough at the end with Ginny...*shrugs*... but thanks so very much anyway! It means a lot to me :) Report Review
The part with the end with Ron thoughts is very well done. However, I think you might want to go into more detail on their attempts to save Harry. I receive the impression that they didn't find him dead, exactly but very near dead or something and made some sort of resucitation attempt. It might br more dramatic to show that in more detail.
Otherwise I second some of the other reviewes in there comments. Esp the one to which you said you would make some changes. I don't want to leave the impression that this isn't very good. In fact it is close to great, it just needs a bit more editing. I think this is an 8. Author's Response: Thanks! Much appreciated :) lol..which one? I said in all of them that I would make changes...because they were all right ;) So after Harry's POV ends, then I should do a backtrack and show the rescue attempt from the others' POV? I had thought of doing that but I wasn't sure. I know it's a bit sparse there at the end and not as dramatic as I'd envisioned it. I wanted to do a backtrack thing where you got to actually see the rescue from Ginny's POV but I wasn't sure how to work it... You think it's confusing now? Harry dies and then we open up to Ginny and Snape rescuing him while he's still alive? Not gonna work :)
I really would like to show the rescue because I have it all in my own head and it's actually very good (to me anyway)... I'll have to figure out a way to spin it. Yea! I love constructive reviews! Thanks, Ydnas Odell! Report Review
dark, just as I imagined my poem. Thank you for putting it into such great context! I love your story!
~HazelAuthor's Response: I'm glade you liked it!! Thanks for such a great poem :D Report Review
i wouldve thought that harry wouldve been stronger than that to withstand the attempts to break him down. i dont see how he could believe that his friends would betray him... they would rather die. and a strange yet unbelieveable twist with snape helping them to save harry. i like it.Author's Response: Thanks! He is stronger, but I guess I'm going to have to make it more clear exactly what happens. I thought the whole "head hurting" thing would be enough to say he's being tortured by the cruciatus curse and he's been stuck in that room all alone for all that time (something else that apparently needs clarified)...and then Voldy squishes poor George... He eventually breaks down. And I'm going to have to go into more detail about what he thinks of his friends... Thanks for the honesty! Much help!! Report Review
aw, that was so sad. but beautifully written. great work!Author's Response: Thanks very much! Report Review
So. Did he die when he thought the Angel of Death was coming for him, and it's actually Ginny. So he needn't have died? Confusing, but slightly lovely. I give you an 8.Author's Response: Thanks! Yeah, he died. Actually, his angel is Snape (ironic twist) and Ginny is there helping to carry him. That's the way it is in my head anyway. Gotta make that more clear. Thanks for the review! Report Review
It's a little hard to understand.
It's also really very dramatic and sad. You wrote that very well, it's just hard to understand.
I'll give it a 7.5/10. Maybe an 8.Author's Response: Thanks! Yeah, I guess it is a little hard to understand... gonna have to flesh it out more and make it more clear. Report Review
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