Snape is a little to hard on Muggles I think. He is thinking too much about controlling them and using magic against them. I always thought he joined the Death eaters to feel wanted and powerful not because he hated muggles. I loved his class though. That was a great scene. I really don't feel all that sorry for the girl. She should have payed attention! That woman again. Who is she? I thought origianlly she might have bbena Muggle, but not now. Maybe Muggleborn? Great story! Please update soon!

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That giel in the picture was Snape's girlfriend wasn't she? He does have a softer side he just doesn't show it. He would act just like that toward the houselves. He would be irritated by them especially if they broke his precious potions. The Oather sound fascinating and so is the idea of "sapping". Your ideas are very origianl and I complimaent your imagination and creativity. I noticed a few more typos such as "male" instead of "make", you might want to check those out. Keep up the good work.

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The beginning is a bit confusing. Snape was summoned to the dark lord but what exactly happened to his arm. I'm not sure I understand. There were a few minor typos like leaving the "b" out of be and so forth. There were a few of those in the other chapters too. nothing important though, and if it's too difficult to change it's not important. The pollen grains were a stroke of genius. that was one of the coolest ideas. the map thing was interesting too. You would think that Snape would need a safer way to send the Order messages considering he's a spy and owls are being intercepted. I suppose there is no other way.

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That was very good. I don't like how Tonks is portrayed but i understand that this si from Severus' point of view so that is how he sees her. The dream was very interesting and he wouldn't certainly be frustrated by his weaknesses. What's wrong with Sirius? As much as I like Snape, Remus and Sirius are my favorites. However I do like well written Snape stories and it would be horrible if all of a sudden he was nice to everyone so I think your characterization of him is very good. I noticed a few mistakes, but they're very small. It 's number 12 grimmauld place not number 37 and Mad-Eye's name is spelled Alastor in the books. Other than that it's very good.

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That was very good. I don't like how Tonks is portrayed but i understand that this si from Severus' point of view so that is how he sees her. The dream was very interesting and he wouldn't certainly be frustrated by his weaknesses. What's wrong with Sirius? As much as I like Snape, Remus and Sirius are my favorites. However I do like well written Snape stories and it would be horrible if all of a sudden he was nice to everyone so I think your characterization of him is very good. I noticed a few mistakes, but they're very small. It 's number 12 grimmauld place not number 37 and Mad-Eye's name is spelled Alastor in the books. Other than that it's very good.

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That was very good. I don't like how Tonks is portrayed but i understand that this si from Severus' point of view so that is how he sees her. The dream was very interesting and he wouldn't certainly be frustrated by his weaknesses. What's wrong with Sirius? As much as I like Snape, Remus and Sirius are my favorites. However I do like well written Snape stories and it would be horrible if all of a sudden he was nice to everyone so I think your characterization of him is very good. I noticed a few mistakes, but they're very small. It 's number 12 grimmauld place not number 37 and Mad-Eye's name is spelled Alastor in the books. Other than that it's very good.

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That was very good. I don't like how Tonks is portrayed but i understand that this si from Severus' point of view so that is how he sees her. The dream was very interesting and he wouldn't certainly be frustrated by his weaknesses. What's wrong with Sirius? As much as I like Snape, Remus and Sirius are my favorites. However I do like well written Snape stories and it would be horrible if all of a sudden he was nice to everyone so I think your characterization of him is very good. I noticed a few mistakes, but they're very small. It 's number 12 grimmauld place not number 37 and Mad-Eye's name is spelled Alastor in the books. Other than that it's very good.

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That was very good. I don't like how Tonks is portrayed but i understand that this si from Severus' point of view so that is how he sees her. The dream was very interesting and he wouldn't certainly be frustrated by his weaknesses. What's wrong with Sirius? As much as I like Snape, Remus and Sirius are my favorites. However I do like well written Snape stories and it would be horrible if all of a sudden he was nice to everyone so I think your characterization of him is very good. I noticed a few mistakes, but they're very small. It 's number 12 grimmauld place not number 37 and Mad-Eye's name is spelled Alastor in the books. Other than that it's very good.

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That was very good. I don't like how Tonks is portrayed but i understand that this si from Severus' point of view so that is how he sees her. The dream was very interesting and he wouldn't certainly be frustrated by his weaknesses. What's wrong with Sirius? As much as I like Snape, Remus and Sirius are my favorites. However I do like well written Snape stories and it would be horrible if all of a sudden he was nice to everyone so I think your characterization of him is very good. I noticed a few mistakes, but they're very small. It 's number 12 grimmauld place not number 37 and Mad-Eye's name is spelled Alastor in the books. Other than that it's very good.

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That was very good. I don't like how Tonks is portrayed but i understand that this si from Severus' point of view so that is how he sees her. The dream was very interesting and he wouldn't certainly be frustrated by his weaknesses. What's wrong with Sirius? As much as I like Snape, Remus and Sirius are my favorites. However I do like well written Snape stories and it would be horrible if all of a sudden he was nice to everyone so I think your characterization of him is very good. I noticed a few mistakes, but they're very small. It 's number 12 grimmauld place not number 37 and Mad-Eye's name is spelled Alastor in the books. Other than that it's very good.

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That was a great start. I loved your description od the mountains. It seemed as if I were there. Using the eagle as a point of view was great too. Voldemort is making a pact with strange forest people. I wonder who they are. They don't seem as if they'll double cross him, but I'm sure that Voldemort does not plan on letting them in on all his plans. Good work!

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Brilliantly amazing! Really filled with question marks, as you never know what's going to happen. Please please update soon! (I loved reading it out!)

:)

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Back to review after work! I love this story!

xx

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I love this chapter. Snape and Dumbledore, plus the House Elves are so in character!! Keep going, and don't forget to reply to reviews. Lol. It's one of the most wanderful things to do, aside from posting up fics. Bye!! :)

Author's Response: Glad you like it! Too many typos though- I REALLY need a better keyboard that doesnt keep missing out letters! I think I may have to take up your offer for employment as a beeter!

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I really like it!! It's good, and thanks for letting me read it aloud to you. I love voice overs, they rule!! x :)

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this is awesome.


10/1o

Author's Response: Cheers!!!

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Excellent, Laura. Truly. You've got the characters spot on, and I'm so glad the chapter is actually up!! Waho. Anyway, (*shakes head, trying to concentrate*), I thought the description was amazing, and a very well done indeed. You've got so many new reviews. You must respond. It's so much fun. Hee hee. I love getting them. WOW. Really terrific writing. I can't begin to tell you. The whole Snape contempt towards Sirius is fantastic. 'Thug.' Made me laugh in me head. Very clever; ingenious. Anyway, I've got to go. Talk tonight, maybe? I have a lot of praise for yu!! Oh, and hope you had a cool xmas and a happy New Year!! :) xx

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Lol, poor Tonks! Great chapter!

Author's Response: Yeh, she's sweet, but I always pity her a it. Should be useful for giving away hints!

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Hmm...I wonder what's happening? I really like it, and you are a very skilled writer! 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I tried to make it as mysterious possible. Everything suspicious is part of the bigger picture, so keep eyes peeled! More coming soon, (when I get my memory stick back)!


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Nice start!!! I like the view point.

Author's Response: Thank you! I like writing in it too!

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Heya Laura! How's you? Loving the banner, I'm glad you like it too. Must meet up soon. Happy writing; can't wait for chapter two! x :) x

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Your descriptions are amazing. This is a great start to your story. I look forward to reading your future posts. Very Good Job!

Author's Response: Thank you very much, I'm really glad to hear that you're interested, because I often worry if my writing is too drawn out to keep people interested. You've prompted me to actually get moving on finnishing chapter 2! Thanks again! Love from Laura

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A bit hard to follow, but your descriptive nouns were incredible! Maybe double space your paragraphs? I think it would make it easier to read.

Author's Response: Thanks for you're review, especially your comments on description. Yeh I know I get a bit carried away sometime describing stuff and loose the plot- something to practice! I'll take you're advice with the spaces- good idea! Well done again with your story- keep it up fellow Snape fan! :)

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"An icy wind whipped the great plateau mercilessly, as if trying to scour further groves on the already scarred and gauged outcrop of black rock, jutting out like some nightmarish ghost ship, lost in a white, wild ocean."

Sorry, couldn't help picking that out. It was great!! It seems you have a natural talent for description. I'm very impressed. Keep writing!!

Author's Response: Thank you, but I sometime wonder if I'm going a bit ott, and the reader is geting board- I get an idea, write it, get another one, write it and don't read them out loud, hense the excesively long sentances. What do you think? Than you so much for reviewing and really looking at my style- it means a lot to me! I will try and be worthy of your praise!
Love from Laura

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Ok, well. First of all, I'd like to congratulate you on setting up this account!!

Wahooo!! This site totally rules, and I love your pen-name. It's fab!

The description was sooo amazing, and I'm not just saying that. It really is stupendous.

For example, I love the line- 'However, it had grown used to rage and met it with an equal malice- few who had seen it managed to suppress a shudder at such a cruel artwork of the harshness of nature.'

I really wonder what *whispers quietly* Voldemort is up to. I love the whole suspense thing. Harry and co?? I wonder . . . Lol! Guess who said that? LOl! I am so totally random, but also, sometimes, (and believe me, it's rare), I do make sense!

I love the way that you express Voldemort. The posh way that he spoke was so like him. For example- 'I shall see to it personally.' Fantastic!!

Lol- The bearded Russian guy makes me laugh. Yes, he does remind me of Karkaroff. Loved doing the voice for him, too!! Ah, yes. Voice-overs rule!!! Ok, so that's completely off the point. :) But, oh, well- I'm well hyped as it's my Birthday soon!! Yey!!! But, lol, you already knew that!

So, as we come to the conclusion of the review, I do indeed commend you: This was so fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks also for looking at my stories, and reviewing.

And, also, come on people- review! So what if there's no banner at the moment? There will be soon. Right. Lol. Lecture over!

Welcome to the site, and happy writing!!!

x Rachel (Snitchsista) x



Author's Response: Glad you liked it and thanks for reviewing! Don't worry about being random- I do it too and it make life more interesting! I hope you have a great birthday, and get lots of inspiration for aa futher installment
Love from Laura xxx

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