Wow...really interesting... write more. Report Review
I'm really enjoying this... good job writing.
One note: defiantly is not definitely Report Review
Cool very mysterious I am intregued and think I must read on.Author's Response: Thanks a lot. Please do continue reading! Report Review
Good story to date but your spelling is atrocious
Please look up 'defiant' in a dictionary and then look up 'definite'
ypu use defiant instad of definite and it throws off you sentence and ruins the flow of your story
Author's Response: I know my spelling is atrocious! And I know word doesn't catch everything. Thanks for pointing it out, I'll try to go back and fix it, if I ever find the time to work on it. If you see anything else please let me know. Report Review
Did you abandon this story or what?Author's Response: No I've just had a lot of computer trouble and I've had to work a lot. The next chapter will be up soon...hopefully. Report Review
Sorry, but i have a question. Is Sam acting mean because she's really bottling up her emotions or does she have attitude? It just kindof sucks that almost everyone hates her and ignores her. But i still love the story; continue!Author's Response: It's part that she's bottling her emotions, and part that she nervous, and part that no one knows how to deal with her straight forward attitude. She's also one of those people that if you treat her badly she'll be mean back. She doesn't like to used or talked about. Which of course her attitude doesn't help. In a way she is kind of insecure with herself, and takes it out on others. But don't worry, things will get better. In future chapters you'll also be able to see what she was like in her old school, which is different from how she is now. Report Review
I REALLY love this story! Please update soon!Author's Response: Thanks I'll try! Right now I'm trying to get my beta to actually edit the next chapter (I've sent it to her twice). Report Review
I like your story alot. excellent character development. A nice blend of integrating the daily life of Hogwarts while letting the deeper plot of Voldemort and the spy continue to build. Do not woory about reviews, keep writing, its good stuff. Author's Response: Thanks I really appreciate the feed back. I'm glad you like it. Report Review
its really good can't wait for the next chapter :)Author's Response: Yay my first reviewer in two chapters! Thanks for reviewing! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon, but I still have to get it back from my Beta reader. She's the biggest procrastinator on the planet. Thanks again! Report Review
Love it! Please continue!Author's Response: Thanks!!! Report Review
yay! Finally an updaye. No offense, but im not warming to Sam hahaAuthor's Response: Samantha is a character that you either love or hate. Thanks for the feed back! Report Review
keep adding to this.Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback! Report Review
sweet! hope that you will continue this storyAuthor's Response: Thanks I intend to! I just don't get much feedback from people. Report Review
OMG! continue the story! Thou...Samantha seems a lil...mean?Author's Response: She's mean but in a good way. She brings us laughter, but she is a good person. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Kudos to you for this chapter! I'm trying you send you the other chapters but my computer's being dumb. Bleh. Author's Response: It's all good Abi. If it comes down to it I can just print it off and then type it back up on my copmuter. Report Review
Wow. That was...not expected. my e-mail is email@example.com
send me your chapters, I want to know how it gets from this to McDonalds.
Also, what is it with you and fields?Author's Response: Abi you make me laugh. I'll send it to you soon. Report Review
I'm sorry that it took me so freaking long to read it, homework sucks. You have some really great lines. Essays being the tortue device of teachers and the line about Hermione's domenence.Author's Response: Thanks Abi. Report Review
UP DATE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Wow I've never recieved a review like yours. It kind of makes me feel proud. I'll do my best to get the next chapter up quickly, but my beta reader hasn't finished reading it yet. Report Review
Well, I noticed your story in the list, and saw no reviews for you. Honestly, I thought I'd give it a read, and give you your first review, so at least you'd have some feedback (I don't know, but I like hearing other people's opinions on my fics).
Alright, so, lets start. Firstly, you should have that HBP is disregarded. Dumbledore is still alive, Snape is teaching potions, and they're back at school with no mention of Horcruxes, etc. So far, it sounds like a regular school year, with them just doing classes. Next, you start in a really odd place I think. You're after the summer, after King's Cross, and already in October. I would suggest maybe thinking of how your story could play out earlier, and add a chapter or two before this one, to allow you a better base. Having the reader thrown into the school year is kind of confusing.
Hermione I found called Ron "Ronald Weasley" a little too many times. I mean, you're trying to get across she's upset, I notice that, but I don't think she would necessarily need to use his whole name to convey that every time.
Finally, on the negative side, you built up a little to this Haloween Ball. You didn't give that much reason as to why it was happening, but that's alright for now. But you showed people getting excited, you showed how people bought costumes and how eager they were to get there with their dates. You even put Harry in the phantom mask, which I though would definately lead to some interesting storyline and make the dance all the more facinating. But then it falls out. He goes to the ball, he sits around, then it's over. It would have been alot nicer I think if you put alot more into the ball. When you had Harry dress as the phantom, I thought it would be significant, but it wasn't. It was just a costume.
Alright, that's all the negative aspects that I wanted to comment on. There are good things though, don't get me wrong. I think you have Ron in here pretty well with your dialogue, Hermione as well. Harry disappearing every once in a while has me wondering, which is good. Whenever Harry's scar burns, it always gets readers interested, so good on that. And your writing style I think is working out nicely.
So that's it. I know, I've probably made up for the lack of reviews you've received by writing such a long one, but I thought I would give my honest help with your story, in the hopes that it may help you make it all the better, and start receiving some good, deserved reviews. I do hope you take my advice, but if not, oh well. Keep it up, and good luck with your writing!Author's Response: Thanks for the tips. Trust me the reason for the ball will come out in a later chapter. As to not going into detail about the ball, sorry it's kind of a personal thing, I sit around during school dances and don't remember much from them eccept having to clean them up. But thank you for reviewing. Report Review
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