{reviewid: 1381994, reviewer: 'Gryffindors_heir'}
16th April 2007:
By the way, do not take anything i said offensively, I was merely giving suggestions to make your story that much better! And if you need/want, I'd be happy to beta read your story!! E-mail me at templar_knights5@yahoo.com if you are interested! (That goes for anyone)
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{reviewid: 1381985, reviewer: 'Gryffindors_heir'}
16th April 2007:
Your story is good, but you might want to work on keeping it in present tense or past tense or future tense, whichever you choose but don't switch and say "Harry then clasps his hands" then later say "They discuss it." It is probably easiest and most cannon to go with past tense, but that is my oppinion! Keep up the good work!!
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{reviewid: 1378065, reviewer: 'adiready'}
14th April 2007:
decent work...keep it up.
update fast.
good bye till then. ;)
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{reviewid: 1376835, reviewer: 'smile2006'}
13th April 2007:
Is smile2006 your beta-editor? If he/she is...no offense to anyone...drop her/him
im no longer his or anyones beta. No offense taken, I didnt revise this chapter. Anyway, i would watch the triple spacing it will put alot of people off of the story.
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{reviewid: 1376560, reviewer: 'blackruby'}
12th April 2007:
m
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{reviewid: 1376414, reviewer: 'red_correcting_pen'}
12th April 2007:
Is smile2006 your beta-editor? If he/she is...no offense to anyone...drop her/him. I read her/his review and it said here instead of hear. There were many of those mistakes in this, as well as the their-there-they're's. I am a grammar freak, so...yeah. Although, I do agree with her/him about the robotic manner. You have a nice plot but your sentence structures are off, and in the first chapter you have about a hundred more commas than you need (not literally). You have more run-on sentances than fragments, but those are easily fixed. You should also clarify who is speaking within the dialogue, because sometimes I don't know who is speaking. It looks to me like you copypasted it from Word or something but it pasted incorrectly. I don't know if that's the case or not, and I mean no offense. I am just trying to point out what you might consider revising.
~*
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{reviewid: 1303525, reviewer: 'hp'}
12th February 2007:
I loved this story! good job! update the next faster! please! 10/10
Author's Response: Thanx for the compliment. next chap is submitted.srry for delays but I amheld up with other works.
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{reviewid: 1302694, reviewer: 'hpfreakrox'}
11th February 2007:
good plz write more.
Author's Response: yes I will. not to worry.
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{reviewid: 1267514, reviewer: 'residentevil%20fan'}
15th January 2007:
i liked the story very much
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{reviewid: 1263504, reviewer: 'JTB'}
12th January 2007:
Weird.I liked chapter 1 better its still good.
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{reviewid: 1263495, reviewer: 'JTB'}
12th January 2007:
AWSOME HOPE TO SEE THE STORY CONTINUE PAST THE CHAPTER YOUR ON!!
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{reviewid: 1263360, reviewer: 'blackruby'}
12th January 2007:
Hope for more soon
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{reviewid: 1262360, reviewer: 'hannah186%20potter'}
11th January 2007:
wow that was nice can't wait for the next chapter!
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{reviewid: 1222498, reviewer: 'harry%20fan'}
9th December 2006:
UPDATE RIGHT NOW
Author's Response: patience.you will get it soon.
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{reviewid: 1210951, reviewer: 'miss_stud_malfoy'}
28th November 2006:
omg just when we were gonna find out an attack!ah mean cliffy!lol
please update soon its a great story!
Author's Response: thanks. but next chap is gonna take some time due to my exams. i am planning to finish it till december end.
hoefully i will succed with my plan.
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{reviewid: 1193987, reviewer: 'lupinswife'}
12th November 2006:
Story great.Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: thnx.but i will take some time for next chapter as I am having exams. will udate as soon as possible.
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{reviewid: 1193852, reviewer: 'hannah186%20potter'}
12th November 2006:
WOW intersting can't wait for the next chapter.rating i give 10/10.
Author's Response: thanx.
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{reviewid: 1192816, reviewer: 'blackruby'}
11th November 2006:
Like your story so far and I hope for more soon
Author's Response: thanx
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{reviewid: 1191474, reviewer: 'mimi2'}
10th November 2006:
An update? YES!! Very good. I am truly enjoying your story.
Author's Response: thanx.
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{reviewid: 1186530, reviewer: 'hannah186%20potter'}
6th November 2006:
WOW intersting .
on to the next chapter . =D
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{reviewid: 1186529, reviewer: 'hannah186%20potter'}
6th November 2006:
hm. intersting
cant wait to read some more but your chapter seems very short but intersting.
rating 10/10. =D
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{reviewid: 1186527, reviewer: 'hannah186%20potter'}
6th November 2006:
WOW intersting.
Going to read the next chapter NOW!!! can't wait to read it =D
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{reviewid: 1168931, reviewer: 'Ripley'}
19th October 2006:
Sorry, but your grammar is a bit hard to read. The way you narrate the scene works well, but you also sound like a house elf.
"Harry thinks about what he is doing."
I'd suggest showing a friend your writing and to see what they think, before having to go back and make corrections. Keep truckin. -R
Author's Response: thanx for the advice. I have got a beta reader.
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{reviewid: 1168726, reviewer: 'mimi2'}
19th October 2006:
I totally love this story. Please update! Thanks! Great job.
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{reviewid: 1134112, reviewer: 'angel%20or%20devil'}
11th September 2006:
it sounds so great
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