30 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gryffindors_heir THE CLOSE ESCAPE

16th April 2007:
By the way, do not take anything i said offensively, I was merely giving suggestions to make your story that much better! And if you need/want, I'd be happy to beta read your story!! E-mail me at templar_knights5@yahoo.com if you are interested! (That goes for anyone)

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Review #2, by Gryffindors_heir HOME AGAIN

16th April 2007:
Your story is good, but you might want to work on keeping it in present tense or past tense or future tense, whichever you choose but don't switch and say "Harry then clasps his hands" then later say "They discuss it." It is probably easiest and most cannon to go with past tense, but that is my oppinion! Keep up the good work!!

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Review #3, by adiready HOME AGAIN

14th April 2007:
decent work...keep it up.
update fast.
good bye till then. ;)

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Review #4, by smile2006 HOME AGAIN

13th April 2007:
Is smile2006 your beta-editor? If he/she is...no offense to anyone...drop her/him

im no longer his or anyones beta. No offense taken, I didnt revise this chapter. Anyway, i would watch the triple spacing it will put alot of people off of the story.

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Review #5, by blackruby The Meeting

12th April 2007:
m

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Review #6, by red_correcting_pen HOME AGAIN

12th April 2007:
Is smile2006 your beta-editor? If he/she is...no offense to anyone...drop her/him. I read her/his review and it said here instead of hear. There were many of those mistakes in this, as well as the their-there-they're's. I am a grammar freak, so...yeah. Although, I do agree with her/him about the robotic manner. You have a nice plot but your sentence structures are off, and in the first chapter you have about a hundred more commas than you need (not literally). You have more run-on sentances than fragments, but those are easily fixed. You should also clarify who is speaking within the dialogue, because sometimes I don't know who is speaking. It looks to me like you copypasted it from Word or something but it pasted incorrectly. I don't know if that's the case or not, and I mean no offense. I am just trying to point out what you might consider revising.

~*

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Review #7, by hp THE CLOSE ESCAPE

12th February 2007:
I loved this story! good job! update the next faster! please! 10/10


Author's Response: Thanx for the compliment. next chap is submitted.srry for delays but I amheld up with other works.

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Review #8, by hpfreakrox The Meeting

11th February 2007:
good plz write more.

Author's Response: yes I will. not to worry.

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Review #9, by residentevil fan THE CLOSE ESCAPE

15th January 2007:
i liked the story very much

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Review #10, by JTB Dumbledore's Army

12th January 2007:
Weird.I liked chapter 1 better its still good.

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Review #11, by JTB The Meeting

12th January 2007:
AWSOME HOPE TO SEE THE STORY CONTINUE PAST THE CHAPTER YOUR ON!!

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Review #12, by blackruby THE CLOSE ESCAPE

12th January 2007:
Hope for more soon

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Review #13, by hannah186 potter THE CLOSE ESCAPE

11th January 2007:
wow that was nice can't wait for the next chapter!

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Review #14, by harry fan Aboard The Hogwarts Express

9th December 2006:
UPDATE RIGHT NOW

Author's Response: patience.you will get it soon.

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Review #15, by miss_stud_malfoy Aboard The Hogwarts Express

28th November 2006:
omg just when we were gonna find out an attack!ah mean cliffy!lol
please update soon its a great story!

Author's Response: thanks. but next chap is gonna take some time due to my exams. i am planning to finish it till december end.
hoefully i will succed with my plan.


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Review #16, by lupinswife Aboard The Hogwarts Express

12th November 2006:
Story great.Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: thnx.but i will take some time for next chapter as I am having exams. will udate as soon as possible.

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Review #17, by hannah186 potter Aboard The Hogwarts Express

12th November 2006:
WOW intersting can't wait for the next chapter.rating i give 10/10.

Author's Response: thanx.

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Review #18, by blackruby Aboard The Hogwarts Express

11th November 2006:
Like your story so far and I hope for more soon

Author's Response: thanx


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Review #19, by mimi2 Aboard The Hogwarts Express

10th November 2006:
An update? YES!! Very good. I am truly enjoying your story.

Author's Response: thanx.

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Review #20, by hannah186 potter Portkeys and House Elves

6th November 2006:
WOW intersting .
on to the next chapter . =D

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Review #21, by hannah186 potter Dumbledore's Army

6th November 2006:
hm. intersting
cant wait to read some more but your chapter seems very short but intersting.

rating 10/10. =D

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Review #22, by hannah186 potter The Meeting

6th November 2006:
WOW intersting.
Going to read the next chapter NOW!!! can't wait to read it =D

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Review #23, by Ripley Portkeys and House Elves

19th October 2006:
Sorry, but your grammar is a bit hard to read. The way you narrate the scene works well, but you also sound like a house elf.
"Harry thinks about what he is doing."
I'd suggest showing a friend your writing and to see what they think, before having to go back and make corrections. Keep truckin. -R

Author's Response: thanx for the advice. I have got a beta reader.

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Review #24, by mimi2 Portkeys and House Elves

19th October 2006:
I totally love this story. Please update! Thanks! Great job.

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Review #25, by angel or devil Portkeys and House Elves

11th September 2006:
it sounds so great

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