This is a really good start and I feel really sorry for Hermione!
Can't wait to read on! :)

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Aaah, beautiful ending... aaah... 1O/1O

~Sirius

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He's sooo stupid!! Oh my freaking God!! Couldn't he have simply SAID something, like 'How long I've been hoping that you and Foxy are the two halves of the same person, and now my wish is true! I love you, blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.' Or something along those lines. 1O/1O

~Sirius

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OMG!! What now? Aaah!! 1O/1O

~Sirius

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Sorry for my boring reviews, but it's just so perfect, I don't know what to say!! 1O/1O

~Sirius

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Awesome!! 1O/1O

~Sirius

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*Laughs* Awesome. I love it!! 1O/1O

~Sirius

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She should have told him... but you're the author. 1O/1O

~Sirius

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Poor Mi... well. I dunno what else to say, except: 1O/1O

~Sirius

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freakin awesome is all i have to say. wow

Author's Response: Thanks very much.

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Good story keep it up

Author's Response: Thankies!

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Yayy, they ended up together!
^___^ Loved the story. (:

Author's Response: Thanks very much fo reviewing every chapter lol.

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Aww, they're so sweet together.

Author's Response: We couldn't have it any other way!

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-.-
Omigawd, how is Harry gonna react?

Author's Response: Teehee wait and see.

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Love the ending. :D

Author's Response: *blushes* Thankies!

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Haha, new love interest. Nice.

Author's Response: :D

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Detention? She's gonna miss meeting Harry!

Author's Response: Hoho exactly :D

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Wow. Hermione? Flirty?
That's a nice twist to her personality.

Author's Response: That's what i was kinda after. Cheers.

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-gasp- Naughty, naughty.
Sneaking out again.

Author's Response: Hehe thanks.

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cute, very cute. if you have a mo, could you please read something of mine and tell me what you think? thanks

Author's Response: Thanks for that. Sure i could read something of yours. It would be my pleasure.

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I made you a banner. It's a pretty simple one, but I hope you like it. The link is http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p194/RavenclawGirly/FurandFeelings.jpg
Hope you like it.

Author's Response: Omg you are so sweet! *kisses mrs potter on both cheeks*

Thank you for this, i'll learn how to put it up right away! Thank you again, kindness like that never fails to touch my heart!

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i likr both chaps but i prefer the other snape it was a better twist

Author's Response: Aww really? Well circinusphoenix gave me the idea for a canon snape so i went for it. Sorry if i disappointed you.

Thank you for reviewing!

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Checking back, I see you changed chapter 6, and I must say, very well done! I see you took my idea, and worked it beautifully. Really, great! I'm happy I could help. Peice of candy was a wonderful choice for a Portkey!

Again, good job! - 9 / 10

Author's Response: What would i do without you? I did credit you in the chapter summary. I'm so glad you liked what i did with your idea. And well, the candy, it had to be something inconspicous didn't it?

Thank you once again and please, review soon!

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I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with helping out. Unfortunately, I don't know how to send PM's on hpff, 'cause they took off that "send a message" link that used to be on author pages. So, if you don't mind, I'm sending it to you in a review (I mean, who's against getting another review?). :)

Alright, well, firstly as I said, this is your story. You can keep it how you want, it's up to you. But, since you're asking for my advice, I will gladly give it in the hopes to better your story.

Alright, now, how the Snape scene could play out differently. Firstly, Snape would be as mean as ever of course. He would yes, tell Hermione to clean the cauldrons by hand. Hermione would be mad of course, and start at the work. There would be silence for a while, as Snape went through some papers on his desk, then he would say something like, 'Actually, only clean half the cauldrons tonight. I want some left for Mr. Potter'. Hermione would ask why, and Snape would just shut her up basically, maybe with 'Unless you want to clean every cauldron in the castle with a toothbrush, I'd suggest you shut your mouth and get to work'. Not angrily; calm, and a bit arrogantly, you know, with that little sinister grin.

So Hermione would continue, but Snape would keep talking. It's kind of like how he did when Harry had detention (remember, he kept talking about his father and such). Snape could continue talking about Harry. Stuff like 'I wouldn't worry about Mr. Potter if I was you Granger. Once I speak to the Headmaster about his little trips into the forest, I doubt you will see him anymore'. Followed maybe by, 'In a way, I will be upset to see him leave. I guess I'll just have to find a new person to clean my cauldrons, perhaps you' of course, followed by another grin.

That's when Dumbledore would come. He'd ask Snape to come with him, because he will (perhaps) be leaving the castle, and will have that conversation with him. Snape will order Hermione to continue, and not leave until they're all done, and Hermione would sigh in both anger and annoyance. Dumbledore will ask Snape to wait outside for a moment, and he will in his niceness, clean all the cauldrons with a flick, and say, make something a portkey for Hermione. Maybe he could say 'I'm afraid Professor Snape might be a while, and I believe there is someone waiting for you in the Forbidden Forest', with that gleam in his eyes. Then she'd take the portkey, and voila, in the forest she is!

That's just an idea though. Take it if you'd like. If you're so inclined to, and wish to credit me, that's alright. I just wanted to help, 'cause the way Snape is, I just . . . I don't know, it just seemed to strange. Kind of like when someone has Draco being super friendly and chummy with Harry. It just doesn't seem right in a sense.

But I hope that helps. Stuff with Hermione's clothes, I do get what you're saying, even though I'm a guy. All I would suggest there, again, it's up to you, you don't have to, is perhaps make the dress flowing (ie. goes to the floor). That way, it would be a ball dress, and you could not worry about her shoes. Everything else would be I think great then.

So there you go. I do hope I have either helped, or got some creative thinking going on your side with these ideas. As I said before, I can tell you're a creative writer, so I have no doubts you'll be able to do what you wish.

In anycase, again, good story. Very well done, and if I may say, please feel free if you have the time to read some of my fics. I love hearing from other authors, and your opinion would be great to hear.

Author's Response: OMG i just love you. Talk about food for thought.

Yes, the way you wrote out the scene is just god damn perfect! I'm even gonna use your dialogue.

Hmm the dress. I'm still undecided. Maybe.

But thank you on your kind comments on my writing! It's nice to know someone appreciates my opinion. I will review your stories when i can. I'm v. busy with my schoolwork right now. I had this story written from the summer holidays remember.

Thank you, write again to me soon! Mwah!

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Alrighty, I am sorry it took me a while to come back read the rest of your story. It's been a crazy last few weeks / month or so, and I haven't had much time to read. But, I was presented with some free time now, so I came back to read!

So, generally, I like how you moved onwards from chapter 3 (last chapter I reviewed). There are a few things that I do however have on the more not-so-good side, so I'll just get those out of the way firstly.

Alright, big thing, the one thing--if any--that I would beg you to change or update or something, is Snape. My word, he was so amazingly out of character. I know you try to give a reason for his odd behaviour, but it's just too odd, really. Someone that cold and spitefull actually giving love advice, and letting students getting away with things that would expel them. Snape would never, ever do that, even if he's trying to turn a new cheek. The advice was I though far off as it was for him, but Hermione actually hugging him! Oh my, no. Sorry, I know I'm being blunt about this, but no, Hermione cannot hug Snape. No one ever hugs Snape, or touches him for that matter. When I read that, I had to tell myself to forget it to move on. It was just too far off from anything close to canon.

But I'm not that mean, I think you can fix it. You're a creative writer, I'm sure you can, if you're so inclined. Maybe have Snape knit-pick at Hermione about Harry, and have some thoughts of him run through her mind as she's cleaning. I don't know, have Snape dragged out of his office by Dumbledore, and Dumbledore give Hermione a wink (ie. saying: Leave and see Harry). I could see Dumbledore doing something like that (he got Harry out of detention, I'm sure he'd do it for Hermione). That way, you won't have to have this lovey-dovey Snape, and you could torpedo that hug. Just an idea though.

Alright, now, moving away from that scene, everything else I think is really good. I like how you have Harry and Hermione show their true selves. It had to be Harry first, then Hermione for the shock value. Harry's reaction was great, and so was Hermione's. The Fall Ball, granted you could come up with some reason for it going on (I don't know, maybe make up a holiday for wizards on the Fall Equinox or something), but the idea of having another ball at Hogwarts is one that appeals to people.

Oh, sorry, I lied above, there was one more thing I had a bit of a tough time reading (again, I'm sorry, on some things I'm picky): Hermione's dress and get-up. Hermione, I think, is a very simple girl when it comes to fashion. Nothing too flashy, nothing to revealing, etc. I know you have her showing a more wicked (no pun intended) side of herself, but I think you may take it too far with what she's wearing. Black dress, fine, though it sounds more like a cocktail dress than a dress for a ball. Make-up, alright. She was never huge on it I think, but I shouldn't be that strict. The shoes, they should go. Hermione would scream about how uncomfortable and impractical they are I think.

Sorry, again, I'm picky. :) It's your story of course, I'm just staying what I think (and as you've noticed, it's taking a while to get it all out). The ending I liked, the two getting together like that. Ginny was great to both of them, helping them both out.

So yeah, don't get me wrong, I like your story alot, really. Very original I think to have the students in animagus forms so much, it's different. Only the Snape thing, and what Hermione's wearing to the ball took away from it for me, but again, that's me. :)

Good story though, very good. Keep it up! 8 / 10

Author's Response: Now don't i just love you and your big reviews?! *hugs cincus*

Yes, i was eagerly awaiting your next review. Your ones always give me the most insight to the problems i have.

Right so, get rid of Snape. Ok i can cope with that. It's just how am i gonna do it? Yeah i like the idea about Dumbledore, i could use that with credit going to you.

Can we PM on this thing? If we can, do send me one and we can discuss how to change the chapter. So basically i'm asking you to help me rewrite it.

Yeah i take on board what you said about the dress and make-up but she is trying to impress here. We girls will wear anything to get the man we want, even if it is excruating high heels.

So yes, i do thank you for your comments and do review again for me! I always know how to improve after i've spoke to you.

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