What an interesting story!
I love the characters here, Gregory and Luna, what a mix!
You wrote it wonderfully though, and made it sound plausible and realistic!
Oh LOL at this line, "It seems that the bikinis possess some sort of property which distracts the Death Eaters, making it hard for them to concentrate on their evil intentions."
The whole idea of this story was really funny, and original and creative.
Great writing as well, made this to be a really enjoyable read! Report Review
Wow, how's this for an awkward and absolutely hilarious story? Even though I read the summary, I was expecting Luna to be wearing a different outfit and to offer to show Goyle her collection of bikinis, perhaps giving a demonstration on a sewing machine or something. I was as taken by surprise as he was when she answered the door.
Denter floss and duck tape? Recycll? Lol! I love the way you showed how solidly Luna is rooted in the magical world by having her be unfamiliar with those words, but she was so . . . Luna-ish. She was breezy, comfortable with herself, a bit eccentric. I am rather picky about Luna's characterization, and though I don't really think this event could actually have happened, you still managed to keep her in character, overall.
I do think Gregory Goyle was fairly OOC, but you didn't make him do a complete 180 either. He was still a bit thick and having his pureblood purity thoughts, but he was a little bit cute and appealing, in a way. I find him to be a generally unpleasant and difficult-to-like fellow, but here he was definitely sympathetic.
This is one of the funniest things I have read on this site. Lovely. Report Review
I love it! Those were some eh-creative- Bikinis ( power-ranger wrapping paper? xD) This was awesome 10/10 Report Review
Uhh...wow! Great story. I love the bikini's so cute. One negative comment; I beleive Greg should have said something about how the bikini's repel death eaters. maybe, who knows?
But anyway, great great story. I'm sad it's over.Author's Response: Thanks for the great review! I think Greg was just rendered speechless by Luna's appearance - that, and he's not normally great at coming up with intelligent comments anyway. So that's why I didn't have him say anything. Anyway, glad you liked it, and don't be sad - there may be another, if I ever get around to writing it. Report Review
Aw x 2! I loved the prequel and this is hilarious. Despite the idea of Xenophilius in hotpants being more than a little disturbing. 10/10.Author's Response: Thanks for another great review! And sorry about Xeno - this was written before DH so some of the details of his description are a bit off. Although it was still supposed to be disturbing, lol... Report Review
I loved it. Crazy idea, original and funny and Gregory is too cute!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! =) Report Review
i hope you continue putting out the Goyal and Luna fics i really like them i just wish they were a bit longerAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I do have plans for at least one more... it's just finding the time to write it. Hopefully it won't be too long. =) Report Review
lol! This is SO adorable! The pairing actually works. Wow, I never thought it would. But it is just SO adorable! *giggles*
ElvenAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked the pairing - it was definitely a fun challenge to make it believable. =) Report Review
A truly inspired comic masterpiece.Author's Response: thanks! Report Review
That was so sweet and funny! Towards the end I was a bit afraid that Gregory would go home and say that they might have an infestation of plinkylinks, but I was relieved that he didn't. I laughed at so many things here! You really are good at humor.
At the same time there is the serious side too, ehich I also like. There's the whole thing of the school "rankings" in the background. This might be such a real situation for many kids: Gregory is the boy who is in the popular boy's gang where he feels a bit uncomfortable sometimes. He isn't popular with the girls but likes the unpopular girl (Luna). But he can't really get closer to her because he would lose his current status at school if he was with her. Um, yeah, I went to a bit of analysing here. But your story, with all it's humor was still this thought provocing to me.
In this, like in the Quest for Lallamores fic you write the characters of Luna and Goyle very well!Author's Response: Thanks for the great review, Annina! I'm glad you liked the story, and you're spot on with your analysis of the social situation. I'm really glad you noticed all that and found the story thought provoking as well - most readers just notice the humor I think, which is fine, but it's nice you noticed something else too! Report Review
aw. I love it. SO good, but I want like a whole story. I've never thought of a goyle/lovegood ship but now i'm on board. haha. You're a very good writer. Do you plan on writing any more of these Goyle/Lovegood stories? cause they're great.
GloAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad I got you interested in a new ship. I do have one other Luna/Goyle story (the prequel to this) and I've been thinking about a third... but no idea when/if I'll actually get around to it. =) Report Review
AH! So much cuteness I think my heart just exploded in my chest. You've turned Goyle into a bumbling, awkward, but altogether goodhearted character, and I find myself wishing this was a series. Hopefully there will be another sequel! Luna's assertions about the bikini are hilarious, and I love the materials she has chosen to work with. You're right about these situations being so ridiculous that they work, and that's what makes your Luna work so well.Gregory's little secret rebellion against Draco is really terrific. I forgot to say this in my review for The Quest For Lallamores, but there's an element of sadness about him when you mentioned that his mother drilled the names of the Pureblood families into his head at an early age- if only she had done the same with his other studies, he would have developed quite differently! But I like that bit of sadness, because it contrasts the humor nicely. And there is so much humor! When he kissed her on the nose I cracked up, and again when you described her father's get-up.Hugging! Kissing! I love it all! I hope you decide to continue this storyline. You are really a great writer, as I'm sure you must know by now, but still I insist on drilling into your head like Gregory's mum. Goodnight! ~NepheleAuthor's Response: Nephele! Thanks so much for the awesome review and sorry it's taken me so long to respond. Anyway I'm glad you liked this story so much and thanks for all of your specific comments, they're really helpful. I've been thinking vaguely about a third one of these, but no idea when I'll be able to get it written... Report Review
OMG, you've made me laugh so hard!! Luna in a bikini with Goyle!! The thought is so strange that it's brilliant!! I just love creative authors who think up such wonderful ideas! Too bad that the Favorite Author feature isn't yet activated, or I'd put you on my list straight away!Author's Response: thanks so much for the great review, and all the compliments! Report Review
You're a really good author, you know that? Are you a boy or a girl? I'm a girl (and by the way, PLEASE read some of my stories) that wants to become the next JKR. I like the Luna/Goyle pairing. They seem right for each other in your stories...Author's Response: thanks for all the compliments. i'm glad you like this ship. and i'm a girl, to answer your question. =) Report Review
I have enjoyed reading this sequel one-shot story to your first Luna/Gregory ship pairing story, ‘The Quest for Lallamores’.
This sequel was very funny, cute, and nice to my liking.
I thought it was priceless of Gregory’s reaction to Luna’s ‘home made’ and hand made bikini suit.
I really liked the idea of how Luna made it out of duck tape and dental floss; it’s completely original and genius in an artistic creative way!
(I’m into crafts with making things like that kind of original clothing sort since I’m an artist other than my alias fan fiction hobby online of a fellow fan fiction authoress, so I must recommend you with lots of loving kudos for weaving that original bikini style fashion into this one-shot story of yours plot.)
As I had said in previous reviews to mostly all of your stories I’ve read here on harrypotterfanfiction.com that you’re an original and creatively genius authoress here in the HP fan fictional world.
My hats off to you again my dear, another wonderful story.
Keep up the good work!
Sincerely from a fellow authoress of fan fiction in the Potter Realm and fan, Cassandra/Cassandra Malfoy/GothicAnn87~
PS I just loved how you wrote the characteristics of Mr. Lovegood. The whole thing about the hot pants was priceless and kept me giggling nonstop! Well done!
Author's Response: thanks so much for another wonderful review, Cassandra! I'm glad you like the unusual bikini creations, and hot pants, although credit goes to MadameSnape for thinking of the dental floss. =) thanks for reading my stories!!! Report Review
*sniff* I’m so touched you mentioned me in your note! And what a lovely fic to follow up your first one :) . You write Goyle so well. Right from the beginning you had his character down, mentioning how he had managed these thigns on his own and made some decisions for himself. I also thought it would be very like Draco to give him such a lecture.recent studies have shown that Muggles who wear bikinis are fifty percent less susceptible to Death Eater attacks than those who wear other types if clothing. It seems that the bikinis possess some sort of property which distracts the Death Eaters *snorts* well I bet they do!! Trust Luna to reason that out, and yet be completely oblivious too. I liked how Goyle was tyring to think of a reason why she should not associate herself with such Muggle clothing, though I would have thought he would not be thinking of reasons to make her stop wearing them ;) .The assortment of bikinis was also very…unusual. A woollen bikini?? That one made me laugh :D . And then we had This is possibly the best bikini I’ve made. Not only is it the most durable, but it also helps the wearer camouflage themselves. *giggles*, I’m really not sure how camouflaged you’re going to be in a bikini made of Astroturf.Possibly my favourite part was when he kissed her on the nose, then worried that now she’d never talk to him again because of Crabbe’s incident, and instead she kissed him on the nose in return! It’s just very very Luna :D .I completely adored the scene with Luna’s dad, I don’t think I’ve ever read a fic which features him. He was perfect! And his outfit made me laugh, and I had to grin at his advice to Goyle, very much her father huh. It was a very sweet end too, even leaves it open to another one if the urge should take you ;) . I really enjoyed reading this, as always, great fic :) .Author's Response: Charz! So sorry it's taken me ages to respond. Anyway... thanks so much for the great review. I'm surprised you commented on Goyle first, since most people seem to like the stories because of Luna. But I'm glad you liked his part as well. And of course the assortment of bikinis - my sister helped think up some of those, although there was actually a pattern for a knitted bikini in my friend's knitting book. I'm glad you commented on Luna's dad too, I had no idea how to write him. But if I do come up wit another one of these, he will most likely play a prominent part. Oh and I'm glad you liked the kiss scene too - my first one!!! Thanks again for the great review! Report Review
Your humour is fantastic! Luna is such a colourful personality, I simply love her. I'm so glad you wrote about her. She was very realistic, very funny and lovely as well. You described Goyle's awkward puppy love with very much talent, you make your readers like him, actually. He went through a considerable development in his character, which makes your story so outstanding. It is also very interesting that you paired two such different people, and that's why it works. I don't think it would have worked with let's say Ron and Luna. In my opinion, at least, that wouldn't be this interesting. I'm glad I found one more favourite author. :)
Your fantasy matches Luna's! :) (Compliment) Those bikini-creations!
I firmly believe that Luna is not a freak (as people usually think) - she is a genious! And you proved it. :)
Will be waiting for your other stories, bye wingsAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed my portrayal of Luna, and of Goyle. I think it's important to remember that we only see him through Harry's eyes in the books, so who knows what things might look like from his point of view. Thanks again for reviewing! =) Report Review
^_^ This was...I couldn't decide if I wanted to laugh at Luna, or at Gregory for going along with it. It was definitely a good follow-up to the llalamores. And, I LOVE that you brought Mr. Lovegood in. He's exactly how I pictured him--- just as imaginitive as his daughter. And the cuteness between Luna and Gregory was so------> adorable. Awwww, I think I like this ship!! Another great job!! (Will there be a third??) ~JessiAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the great review, Jessi! Glad you thought it lived up to the original, and that you liked my portrayal of Mr. Lovegood. It was fun to write him. I dunno about a third, though... I never intended to write a second, it just sort of happened. We'll see. =) Report Review
i loved the whole nose/eye-kissing thing. loverly sequel.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! That's my favorite part too actually... and my first kissing scene. I wanted to avoid cliche-ness, and I'm glad it worked. =) Report Review
You are a GENIUS!
Ten_Thousand_DaysAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the great review! I'm glad you liked it. =) Report Review
Awww that was so sweet. I loved the first part of this, Lallamores, and I was so happy today when I came across this while searching the archive for a clue in the contest.
I noticed a few small typos, here Eater attacks than those who wear other types if clothing and here the attention if wrackspurts both times IF should be OF.
I thought that your description of poor Goyle was rather on, as a sort of big lumbering oaf, the part where he was drooling over Luna was hysterically funny.
All in all, I thought this was as cute and endearing as the original. 10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! And thanks for pointing out the typos - it's annoying that spellcheck won't pick them up since "if" is a word... Anyway, I'm glad you thought it lived up to the first one. =) Report Review
Pretty good! I can tell this is still an early draft though. But already it is much better then the average fic on the site, but everything you write is 2 or 3 notches better then the 20th draft of most other fan fic writers.
When your brought up the "grass bikini" I was definitely thinking of the other type of grass. Luna could def have that around the house and have no idea what it was.
Does Madam Scoop know you did this yet? Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it. =) Astroturf is actually the stuff they use in baseball stadiums, so they don't have to hire people to take care of the grass. Some people put it in their lawns and it looks kinda creepy... Anyway... yes, I did tell Madame I was writing this, so hopefully she'll get a chance to look at it sometime. Thanks again for reviewing! =) Report Review
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