is it wrong for this to be my favorite one shot ever? It is just that someone finally got away from the gooey romance and wrote something real. I honestly loved it. Everything you explained after her death made it seem so real. It was beautiful

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OMG I loved it but it was so sad. I hope you don't mind me asking this is a little personal, but was Elsie Daemon your friend or daughter in real life. If so I am so sorry.

Author's Response: -head tilt- Um...no. I'm only in High School. -smiles- Although Elsie Diamon lives within me. She told me her story and I just wrote it for her.

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FANTASTIC

very sad

x

Author's Response: Ah, very sad was what I was going for. Thank you.

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OMG, this was so sad! I cried. *sniff sniff* It was a really good story though.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. ^^

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good story. are you going to post an update on the moonlight dance ?

Author's Response: I am, I hope soon. I don't think hpff.com likes me very much XD...the second chapter got rejected...So I hafta fix it. I'm still in the process of checking out want went wrong. Sorry for the inconvinience.

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This was great.. but I do have some constructive criticism. I usually dont't criticize stories that I read because I know that mine aren't that great, but you seem willing for it.
Alright this is a good start to a story, but you might want to add a bit more. Yes, I know that this is a one-shot. But maybe you might want to add more to Elsie's death. Instead of Dumbledore telling the school right away, have Myrtle whisper it to him then he rushes out of the great hall to the bathroom. Then perhaps one of the Marauders hears the teachers talking about her death that night or they decide to tell the Head Boy and Head Girl. But in any case, I think he should announce it the next morning. It seems much more realistic that way.
Well, I don't blame you if you don't take any of my advice, it's just an idea. Well good luck with your writing. :].

Author's Response: Ooh that is such a good idea! I was in such a rush to finish this right away XD Thank you very much for your constructive criticism. This will help with my future one-shots.

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woah...CREEPY! yet strangly....i enjoyed it

Author's Response: Thank you very much.

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I really think it's beautiful and very well written but in HBP they say that Dumbledore is the first human who is burried on Hogwarts' grounds... soooo... the rest: great!

Author's Response: Oh yeah....I forgot about that. I have a bad memory. Sorry.

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