Reading Reviews for The Kiss..
  
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by flutewand It Begins....

14th June 2006:
very good, but short.

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Review #2, by sugarsweet It Begins....

16th March 2006:
oh i would just like to add that yo story is too short, i just reread it and, no offence, but it needs a lot of work, u should have 500 words at least in yo story not just a paragraph, and u mispelt a load of words, i don't mean to be so harsh, but it does need alot of work, write a new chap but make it longer with loads more detail. luv lulu

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Review #3, by sugarsweet It Begins....

16th March 2006:
short but sweet, i like it, i really hope to read the next chapter soon, so i hope u still come on this site coz it say u not updated since 2003!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg, any hope to read soon, luv lulu

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Review #4, by Heidi_Hi It Begins....

6th September 2005:
The title sounded so great. The story? Not so great. You wrote a paragraph for a chapter? NO! Look, when they kiss it's so close to sounding believable. But you have to be more detailed with this. And try spliting up the paragraph so it looks more neat and attractive. Try editing this and maybe you'll get some more positive reviews. -Heidi, xox

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Review #5, by ginnygingin It Begins....

9th August 2004:
Heres a tip you should always remember. NEVER WRITE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank You for your time have a good day.

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Review #6, by HPfan It Begins....

11th April 2004:
YOUR STORY SUCKED!! u really dont know how to write i agree with sarah! urs sucks, i just wrote my first story and its 5 chapters!! and i did it in one day, and reviews that i got were alot better than urs! pleaz ppl if you think this story is good u much b kidding me! im giving u a 1/10 because it was horrible!

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Review #7, by Pheonix Tears It Begins....

6th January 2004:
AWWW This is really going to be a very nice and cute story! Keep it up i wanna read! let me know when you have updated and plz read my story too!

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Review #8, by Mellissa It Begins....

31st December 2003:
WOAH! I luv ur story! 100000000000000 out of 5!

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Review #9, by me It Begins....

24th December 2003:
FINISH! FINISH! FINISH!

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Review #10, by have we lost her? It Begins....

18th December 2003:
Harry looked out the window of the hogwarts express. He looked around and saw ron and hermione,his best friends,he could never be more happy. just to be around them away from the durslyes. He looked at ron,who was absrobed in the chocolate frogs he was eating. Thyen he looked at hermione. She was reading,but harry noticed something her eyes wernt moving she was looking out the window. She had a strange look on her face(one harry had never seen before) she seemed happy. Like there was no place she would rather be than right there on that trian with them....... Hogwarts always felt like home to harry. When he stepted into the gret hall he never felt better. Dumbldore made his long speech and the feast had begun. Harry ate well he dug in and never came up for air. Harry leaned over to ron and saw he was pretty busy with his food. He noticed hermione hadnt eaten much. Harry asked "hermione? whats worng". "nuthing harry im ok"said hermione harry still seemed worried. Harry had just started to eat agian when ron grabbed him and hermione and they left tward the common room. ron was too excited..... Snapes classes always suck! hermione had perked up a bit and ron was half a sleep. harry wrote notes and tried to pay attetion. Snape was aisgning potions paterns for a project we had to do. ron was paired up with draco and harry with hermione.harry new that they would be studing tonght so he was in for it."i want this assginment turned in by next friday!said snape..."harry we need to sutdy tonite and get this satrted"said hermione. ok said harry....... later that eveing harry and hermione were in the common room.it was dark and late. hermione was half a sleep. hermione dont u think we should get some sleep?ask harry? we must get this done aid hermione....harry woke. it must have been two or three in the mornig he looked down hermione had fallen asleep on him. he had to admit she was pretty when she was asleep. his heart started reacing. what he had siad shoked him. then he look down. on no he said i cant be......am i falling i love??? no what a silly idea. but then he looked down at her aigan.......the moonlite was shinnig on her face. she looked perfect. he smiled and went back to sleep.would this feeling leave or was he stuck?? i will rite more later

Author's Response: .....ok thats great but wat did u think of my story??

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Review #11, by have we lost her? It Begins....

18th December 2003:
Harry looked out the window of the hogwarts express. He looked around and saw ron and hermione,his best friends,he could never be more happy. just to be around them away from the durslyes. He looked at ron,who was absrobed in the chocolate frogs he was eating. Thyen he looked at hermione. She was reading,but harry noticed something her eyes wernt moving she was looking out the window. She had a strange look on her face(one harry had never seen before) she seemed happy. Like there was no place she would rather be than right there on that trian with them....... Hogwarts always felt like home to harry. When he stepted into the gret hall he never felt better. Dumbldore made his long speech and the feast had begun. Harry ate well he dug in and never came up for air. Harry leaned over to ron and saw he was pretty busy with his food. He noticed hermione hadnt eaten much. Harry asked "hermione? whats worng". "nuthing harry im ok"said hermione harry still seemed worried. Harry had just started to eat agian when ron grabbed him and hermione and they left tward the common room. ron was too excited..... Snapes classes always suck! hermione had perked up a bit and ron was half a sleep. harry wrote notes and tried to pay attetion. Snape was aisgning potions paterns for a project we had to do. ron was paired up with draco and harry with hermione.harry new that they would be studing tonght so he was in for it."i want this assginment turned in by next friday!said snape..."harry we need to sutdy tonite and get this satrted"said hermione. ok said harry....... later that eveing harry and hermione were in the common room.it was dark and late. hermione was half a sleep. hermione dont u think we should get some sleep?ask harry? we must get this done aid hermione....harry woke. it must have been two or three in the mornig he looked down hermione had fallen asleep on him. he had to admit she was pretty when she was asleep. his heart started reacing. what he had siad shoked him. then he look down. on no he said i cant be......am i falling i love??? no what a silly idea. but then he looked down at her aigan.......the moonlite was shinnig on her face. she looked perfect. he smiled and went back to sleep.would this feeling leave or was he stuck?? i will rite more later

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Review #12, by Sarah It Begins....

15th December 2003:
And another thing... Please, do not attempt to write another story. You are definately not devoted to anything. Or, this coudl be, you are just a bad writter... You're story bites... I withdraw the five I gave you and replace it with a 2 since you misspelt 'Yeah." which, can be spelled different ways, but not "Yeh" thats "Eh' with a "Y" at the front of it hun.

Author's Response: screw u

Author's Response: also they stared into eachothers eyes for a long time and wat r they going to do on a train??have sex???

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Review #13, by Sarah It Begins....

15th December 2003:
I give it points for the kiss, but I only give it a five because it was short, badly written and improper use of a story line. Each paragraph should be seperated by speech, or another thought and or action. I also thought that it was too short and should have had more than that. What happened during the twenty minutes?? They just stood there like retards kissing each other? Come on! They're like... at least.. 14... Get a clue why don't you?

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Review #14, by harrypotterhun It Begins....

14th December 2003:
i like the idea but the actual writing of the story needs a lot of work

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Review #15, by halobird It Begins....

13th December 2003:
shut your dirt trap, hpfan! your story is a totall mess and u know it.

Author's Response: up yours

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Review #16, by Theresa It Begins....

13th December 2003:
Please keep going just more details!!

Author's Response: ok thanks

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Review #17, by HPfan2491 It Begins....

12th December 2003:
censored U ANYMOS!!U CAN SUCK MY HAIRY censored ING BALLS!!!!!!!GO censored UR MOM!!!

Author's Response: yeh

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Review #18, by HPfan2491 It Begins....

12th December 2003:
i think it was good so far but add more specific details

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Review #19, by ~*~*~*~ It Begins....

11th December 2003:
One word: Horrible. Four words: Please don't write again.

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