Firstly i am sorry it took me so long to get round to this. I kinda went and had a baby so hope you can forgive me. Secondly Wow. That was some opening for any story. Its so interesting that it makes me need to know what going to happen next. In all honesty i dont think i can help you on this because its already too good to be improved. Report Review
Well...I thought your writing was good but to tell you the truth I am extremley confused. I like stories that make you think but this one worries me that I may not be able to follow it and if it gets to confusing I will give up. Not to discourage you though! I'm sure you'll do a fine job and I'm sure you love this just the way it is and I am not asking you to change it; but I just am really confused as to where she is. One moment she's loving it with Ephraim and the next she is with McGonagall and then shes falling and stuff...just really choppy. Anyways maybe you could explain it to me in the response to my review because I would love to continue reading...if not that's fine, you may see me back here anyways. anyways good job =)Author's Response: It's simple really. This is a dream *points to title*. Demi is reliving several of her worst moments through a nightmare. It's choppy like this for that very reason. It's supposed to be a bit confusing and hard to follow. I know it may seem a little silly now but it will all fall into place. I promise. Thanks for the review. I appreciate your honesty and I hope you'll keep reading. Report Review
That was a bit depressing, and I am a little confused. I suppose you will be explaining later who Ephraim was and what happened. Other than a little confusion, it was marvelous!Very interesting and a bit thriller like.I could't tear my eyes away!^_^Author's Response: Beautiful review! Thank you! Report Review
That was intense.
Short (being a prologue and all) but beautifully written.
It's so descriptive, yet I just want to know that little bit more...
I came to thank you for your incredibly helpful review on my story and then, wow. I found myself reading this (^_^)
-OllyAuthor's Response: I'm so pleased to hear you liked Dreaming and even more pleased to know my review helped. Thank you for stopping by and I hope I'll hear from you again once the next installment is up.
Sugar Report Review
Umm.so she was dreaming? Cuz I'm pretty sure thats the only way any of that makes sense. It's very interesting though, and I'm excited to see where it goes!
xxVLAuthor's Response: Yes, she was dreaming lol. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Very good beginning. It's mysterious which makes me want to read more. Author's Response: Thanks for getting to my fic so quickly! I really appreciate the review and I hope you'll come back when it's updated. Report Review
Wow! That was really good! You're a fab writer!Author's Response: Thanks! I appreciate the review and I hope you'll come back once it's updated. Report Review
That was an excellent start. It makes the reader really want to read more. I think that you are going to make this a wonderful story. There really isn't much to say about it, other than it is amazing. Good job, and I look forward to more.Author's Response: As soon as I get the next chappie up I'll be sure and let you know. Cheers! Report Review
I loved it! You write so well, with so much passion, it's impossible not to love it. Great job, I want to read more!Author's Response: Passion, really? Thank you so much! Report Review
Wow, this is absolutely flabber-gasting! Your descriptions, and your word choice is absolutely magnifiscent, I couldn't stop reading. It was as if I was there, and feeling her emotions almost. It was amazing. I don't think there are any suggestions I could make to help you improve your writing because frankly I think you have no where to go (well you could get better, and I can only imagine what kind of response you would get from that). Anyways, I am absolutely entranced by this story, and I can't wait for you to update, which I hope you do soon.
~AlexAuthor's Response: *blushes* I don't know what else to say besides thank you. I'll let you know when I update. Thanks again! Report Review
This was a very good, emotional beginning. I'm interested to see what happens next! I can't really comment on the plot yet, as I'm sure you'll clarify what exactly is going on in future chapters. Update soon! =)Author's Response: This is proving to be a very challenging fic. Hopefully I'll get the next chappie up soon. Thanks for the lovely review! I'll be sure to let you know when it's updated. Report Review
I really liked the story, it was very interesting, and you could totally feel the tension as it rose. I am so excited, and can hardly wait to see what will happen.Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review!
Brilliant Chapter! Please update soon! (So good!)
EmmaAuthor's Response: I'll do my best! Report Review
hmmm... what happened was some sort of dream right? it reallt felt like one..^^, the way the scenes instantly change.. ^_^ you write really well.. the way you didn't describe your OCs is good.. just make sure to explain more about them in your succeeding chapters..^_^ it will be you that will make us fall in love or hate them..^_^ nevertheless, a perfect score..^_^ keep it up..^_^Author's Response: Thank you so much! I appreciate the help. Report Review
A very interesting start, which was brilliantly written. The description was spot on; gives the reader something solid to picture in their mind while reading it. The love scene was well handled, you elude to things really well. You get the point across without needing to be too graphic but there's enough description to make it seem significant.
I must say that in places I was having a bit of trouble following what was going on it jumps around so much. But I'm guessing that this is some kind of dream sequence, in which case that's probably intentional.
Jessica xxxAuthor's Response: Actually it's a nightmare and I'm very glad you understood that. It's meant to feel as though you've stepped into Demi's dream. It's foggy and jumpy and I wanted to leave you guessing a bit.
Thank you for the lovely review! Report Review
Whoa, brilliant way to start off a story! I really enjoyed this chapter, I am not even kidding. I loved the way the chapter seemed so jumbled and the reader is never really sure where they are. I love that the effect that the character is feeling is also felt by the reader. Loved the descriptions, loved the originality, loved it all! Author's Response: *does happy jig* Brilliant! Report Review
Nice work here! I wasn't quite sure of the setting, and occasionally, I found it a little confusing (is it a dream? or a jumble of memories?), but overall, an intriguing and well-written read! Keep going!Author's Response: "Is it a dream or jumble of memories?" Actually it's both. What you are reading is a nightmare in which Demi is jumping back and forth between events of the past, Ephraim leaving, Ephraim's death, etc. It's all snippets, if you will, of things that actually happened - memories. When she is speaking with her professors it is recalled conversation, but when she is talking with Ephraim it is only her subconcious. She wants desperately to change what happened, but no matter how hard she tries, he still keeps slipping away.
As far as the setting, there really isn't one. That is of course, if you don't count being inside Demi's dream. This is supposed to be confusing and it's supposed to feel jumbled. It was all part of making the reader feel as though they are witnessing Demi's nightmare first hand.
Thank you for the lovely review and I'll be sure to let you know when it's updated. Cheers! Report Review
God! I want to see who Ephraim and Demi exactly are as well as the two people talking when Demi wakes up! Please, update soon!Author's Response: Oh, thanks for the lovely review! I can't wait to clue you in further! Report Review
Brilliant start I can tell it's going to be good.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'll be sure to let you know when it's updated. Report Review
That was really good, but I really don't know the characters, so keep writing so I can know the plot!!! :]
_HannahAuthor's Response: You got it! *wink* Report Review
*actual penname, just not logged in* Hmm. Interesting...very interesting...now you've done it. You've got me hooked. Thanks a lot...the only CC I have for you is that it gets slightly confusing where Dumbledore and McGonagall enter the dream...I know that it's because she's dreaming, but even just a bit more clarity as to where they are/ who's saying what would be nice. Otherwise, wonderful job and I look forward to reading more.Author's Response: Brilliant! Thanks for the lovely review and I'll see what I can do about that bit with the professors. I'll try and revise it where I can. Thanks again! Report Review
WOW! That was written with so much passion, it was amazing. I loved every bit of it, even though there's no sign of Charlie yet. I can't wait to read more. It's very rare to find a fic with that much passion bursting from it.
I would give you some helpful tips except that yor writting completely overwhelms mine. So far you fic kicks my fic's arse. The only tip that I can offer is don't stop, keep going and just don't stop writing. Ever.
You are a bloody brilliant writer. Keep up the good work and please update soon.
-x- Kate -x-
10/10Author's Response: *sobs fantastically* THANK YOU!!! Report Review
Good, but some sentences need either a period or a comma. Overall, though, good jo!Author's Response: Actually, those sentences are supposed to be that way. They're supposed to sound choppy and unfinished to accomplish a more dream-like sound. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Wow! What a powerful beginning to a story! Your detail and descriptions of all the wild emotions are awesome! You really made me feel and focus on the emotions Demi was feeling! Very well written, I hope the next chapter will be out soon!Author's Response: That's precisely what I want to hear from a reviewer! I'm so pleased that you felt for Demi and understood her emotions. I'll be sure and let you know when the next update is up. Cheers! Report Review
Wow. That was rather powerful. I love your illusion of him and how he just faded away. Very good start. Very good.Author's Response: Oh,cheers! I appreciate your review! Report Review
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