OMG!!! This is amazing! You're really talented, and you should definatly continue writing, for like ever!
Thanks for showing me you wrote fanfic, because, most fanfic i read is either total smut or just awful. You have restored my faith in the fan community!
This is a really intreguing story that covers a subject that has really captured my attention since OotP. I was originally very confused as to the speaker, but he is just your original creation, right?
O btw, this is "Elizabeth Turner"
Author's Response: Heya, Lizzie girl! Thank you for reading.
You're compliments are very highly regarded, and make me want to squeal with glee.
Yes, the character is an original one. Not too original, he got a really dull name. Fritz. Poor boy. Thanks again! Report Review
Yay! Another freaky dark psychological introspective! (say THAT ten times fast...) It's really almost a suicide fic, if not for the merciful/cruel/unfair twist at the end. I love the descriptions of what lies beyond... My only confusion is on the speaker. I'm 75% sure I know who it is, but still... meh. It's the thoughts that matter.
This was GREAT!Author's Response: If you don't mind, I shall skip the tongue twister. I'm notoriously terrible at them. And you like my descriptions? Thank you!
I know, there is a vast amount of question as to who the speaker is, but I have to let you know... It really is just an original character with the surname of Fritz. However, I shan't mind if you were to just say someone changed their name to infiltrate the Ministry. Nobody said the magical world was ever perfect. :]
Again, thank you for the review! Report Review
That was a truly gripping one shot, the thing that disappointed me was the fact that you never told us who it was. I personally think that it was Draco, but it could have been others. All in all well done. 8/10Author's Response: Ah, thank you! And I shan't ever tell who it was, because honestly, I myself don't know. It is probably an original character, one not introduced in the books, but other characters fit the bill as well. Report Review
Wow. I’m a little overwhelmed, I must be honest. This story took me completely by surprise. Give me a moment to gather my thoughts here...Okay, review time!
I really enjoyed this piece. The originality of it alone makes it a great find. Sure, there are a fair share of “veil” stories floating around out there, but this one really stands alone for so many reasons. There was something sad and mysterious about the whole piece, which matches perfectly with the subject matter...draws an ideal parallel with the veil itself. Too often, in my opinion, similar stories head down an unnecessary angsty path, focusing too much on what the character wants to leave behind...all their grief and pain. But here there was the twist of focusing on what lay ahead—the mysteries to be revealed. That, coupled with the fact that the character is relatively unknown to the reader, really makes it feel like the veil itself is the main character. And the ending really sealed the deal for me. His being spit back out again was such a great way to keep the story grounded. In my opinion, it made for a much more powerful conclusion than if he had just disappeared into the abyss. You didn’t try and solve the mystery of what lay beyond the curtain and that made the story feel more real...its secrets live on. What a truly interesting approach to the whole topic!
Your style of writing here is very interesting. It matched up well with the mood of the piece...really reading like a confused person thinks (if that makes sense!). Despite the intentionally choppiness, it still came off well thought out and reflected maturity. And an added bonus, very few distracting typos/grammar problems. Really solid mechanics-wise.
I can really only think of one general critique...it’s a bit confusing the first time though. I had to read the story twice to really appreciate it. I think the main reason for this is while you do explain yourself, it is often so much after the fact that the reader has to (or at least I had to!) stop and consciously readjust the way they were reading the story to incorporate the new information. For example, during the whole first conversation, I felt lost...I didn’t know who was talking, I had nothing to visualize, no frame of reference whatsoever. Once you said “Headmaster” I began to understand, but then I had to reread the whole thing again so that I could make sense of the conversation with that information. Don’t get me wrong...I appreciate the general ambiguity of the story— the almost hazy mystique, but even a few simple, well placed one-word clues (like Headmaster) might help readers from feeling quite so lost.
Overall, really great job. One of the better stories I have read in a long time. Thanks so much for sharing!
Author's Response: I believe I have to share your original sentiment - Wow. Really, wow. This review is incredibly wonderful and much appreciated. And I can understand the fact that it is confusing the first time around, I often have a problem of fully explaining what is going on - I can see it in my head, but I don't write it out.
I thank you so very much for this review, and I'm very glad you enjoyed the story! Report Review
I am speechless. This is truly an amazing piece of work. One of the best fanfictions I have ever read as a matter of fact! The detail and personality of the main character is extraordinary. Dumbledore's character is portrayed very well. You really did grasp his quiet wisdom. I could almost hear him reprimanding his student with his eyes twinkling and smiling even as he gave out a detention. I jumped into the story and lived in it as I read. The story was a living, breathing thing to me. Keep up the amazing work! Please write more stories like this! It is great!
P.S. 1000/10!!!!!!Author's Response: Oh, wow! Thank you so much, really - it's just the greatest. There are no other words, truly, truly. I'm so glad the story was alive to you.
Just - wow. I'm struck dumb, really. Wow. ^_^ So happy! Report Review
First off, this is an amazing fic about the mysterious and mystifying veil. I enjoyed reading it very much. You showed with this, a talent for ensnaring a reader till the very end. Great job on that part. Brilliant beginning too, definitely had the hook factor there.
Existentialism. Great word and very intriguing philosophy. lol, I had a little Wikipedia moment with that one ;)
I particularly liked the flashback with Dumbledore. I have a hard time writing him, myself, and I think you wrote him superbly. Really captured the essence of that wise old man.
Lastly I would like to comment on how descriptive you are. You write amazingly detailed and nothing seems to be overlooked. Fantastic job.
I'm giving you a well-deserved 10/10.
Great Work!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad it was catching. (Trust me, when I first heard about Existentialism in class, I headed right over to Wiki it. What a philosophy.)
I'm also pleased you noted the scene with Dumbledore. I don't believe anybody has said anything about that yet in a review. I was unsure if I had him characterized correctly. Glad the descriptions fit the story! Thanks again (wow, a 10/10, I'm so flattered)! Report Review
I feel like a Befuddlement Charm has been placed on me. First of, who is the character or is that important. I guessed Malfoy because the Ministry officials would glare at him, but there was a mention of a Fritz, so maybe not. A little bit more of an explanation might be warranted, maybe answer the questions of why he wanted to go through the Veil, what was so bad about this world, why did the Veil call him and such.
It was very well written as your other fic I reviewed, but while it's good to keep a reader hanging and wondering, you need to give them some sort of an explanation. There was no real sense of completion in this one-shot that really left me wondering why it was written.
Your descriptions and writing style is impressive, although you do need to give more detail.
Don't be discouraged if it seems I've more to critique in this one shot.
It is a very well written piece! I'd give it an 8 out of 10.Author's Response: Beleive it or not, the character actually is an Unspeakable, and works within the Ministry and the Department of Mysteries on a daily basis. It is the stress of working so closely with the cruxes and enigmas of the magical world that has drawn the character to question everything, and honestly, do you know a more puzzling concept than death? I know it is difficult to get a sense of completion with this fic, and that is actually a bit of why I wrote it. The complexities of the Veil, and why people hear it, or don't, or fear it, and some are drawn closer - it's all part of human behavior to react in these ways. It is the questioning that drew me to write about the Veil. I can't really give more detail to a fic like this, even though I'd love to, it's difficult to find the words that would fit.
I know that you meant well, so I feel perfectly fine that you expressed yourself in this review. I love it just as much as the other. The critique does help - it makes me need to respond, to explain myself. An 8 out of 10 is spectacular. Thanks! Report Review
Wow, this story was magnificent. It just seemed so well thought out. The descriptions were really vivid, and you just wrote the story in a way that made the veil seem like it had a mind of its own. It was beautifully written, and really creative. There is absouloutly nothing to criticize.
Fantastic story! I loved it! 10/10Author's Response: Wow, thanks! A ten out of ten, how marvelous! The reviews I've gotten for this fic are just grand so far. You know, I've not yet gotten the comment that the veil had a "mind of it's own". Yet, I suppose it does. It has a conciousness I didn't really bring out that much in the actual story. Report Review
I love this story. You really made the veil into a great story. I liked your detailed descriptions and thoguth out flashbacks. There were one or two grammar/spelling mistakes but it wasn't much. Great Story!Author's Response: Thanks! The entire point was making the Veil as real as possible, to try and riddle it out. I'm glad it worked in this story! Report Review
omg! I have been mulling over this story for the past few days, rereading it and rereading it - trying to work out what to say. And I'm still completely stumped.
I can offer no criticism whatsoever.
This fic is perfect. It's sublime. It's amazing. It's jawdropping. It's thoughtful. It's touching. It's lifelike. It's amazingly visual. It's wonderful. It's incredible. It's startling. It's PERFECT!
I just don't know what to...I can't even...omg!
ten_oclockAuthor's Response: Oh Bethan! *attacks - in a good way, of course* I only wish there was something I could say in response to this review that didn't come out as blubbering and idiotic. But, there isn't, so I can only say this - thank you! Such praise is... indescribably uplifting. Report Review
I love the whole concept with flashbacks....it's so....darn it! I need an adjective...*cheats off the other reviewers* phenominal! That's a good adjective. I just love your writing style! Author's Response: It's okay. I'm an adjective nabber too (It's a bad habit, you see...) Thank you! I really like that people are telling me they like the style, because it was certainly different than normal. It's rather unusual that I not reveal the identity of my character. Report Review
Well, I'm not the first reviewer... But I can still express my INCREDIBLE LOVE for the spazztastic amazingness of the story. I would say something constructive or meaningful, but I'm not good at that. Mostly I can just spout a few applicable adjectives. Phenomenal. Spectacular. Astronomical. Wastrawatry. That last one wasn't a word, really, but that's alright. I'm running out of adjectives anyway. Just know that it's every possible good thing that could ever exist. Woohoo!Author's Response: Oh, those funny little adjectives. Always finding a new fun way to describe a story. I'm so excited the story made you love it incredibly! That's fantastic - practically wastrawatry! But as that isn't my coined word, I shan't take it from you. Thanks for the review! Report Review
YAY! I am your first reviewer once again! You already know how much I love this story. It's so delightful and exciting and all that, but I don't have time to list it all here. Author's Response: Well, that's perfectly alright! I'm very glad you loved it - it was certainly a change of pace for me. And again, you beat everyone to a review! I applaud you. Report Review
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