Ooh, I liked this. I thought I would be bored by a plain narrative, but I wasn't. You did an excellent job putting into eloquent words everything that Sirius went through. I also enjoyed the fact that you played with his eyes being grey and his name being 'Black'. :)Author's Response: Gah. Everyone seems to like this story. (although I tend to like my other one-shots better.) . . . I guess it's the allure of Sirius or something. ^_^
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to review. I'm glad you liked the narrative and weren't bored by it. The wordplay on grey and black was my inspiration to write this, so I'm glad you liked that! :D Report Review
First of all: great summary! It definitely made me to read the one-shot. Your writing style is almost poetic, you know? It “sounds” great. In short, you have a great way with words.
Using the first-person narrative was a very good idea. I really like the importance you gave to Sirius’ trademark grey eyes. I love how you first describe Sirius as a “King”, and then, how you make his whole world crash around him, just because someone else, someone ordinary in his opinion, has grey eyes too. I can’t help but think that this would be the reason why he was sorted into Gryffindor rather than Slytherin: he didn’t think himself worthy of Slytherin anymore, or something.
One thing: abdicate means give up the throne, so I don’t see how it fits in that sentence: my younger brother had abdicated my throne., or do yo mean that his younger brother has made him give up his throne by taking it, or something?
The last paragraph was great and I liked the fact that you brought the reader’s attention back to his grey eyes.
Another brilliant one-shot! I can’t wait to read what else you have in store :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
That's exactly what I meant with the whole abdicated thing - that Regulus had made Sirius give up his throne. I guess I didn't word that too well, though, so I'll go back and fix it. Thanks for pointing it out. ^_^
Gah, I'm so glad you think the writing flows and whatnot and liked the whole theme of the grey eyes. I think it really isn't plausible that Sirius's world would crash because of someone else's eyes, but that it's more of an illusion and symbol of his childhood than anything. Anyways, thanks for the amazing, wondrous review. I really appreciate it. :D Report Review
I cannot imagine a more thorough study of a young Character, any character, in the amount of space you used. Your story is outstanding! It is very lean and does not repeat any unnecessary background material, leaving just the meat (sorry if you are a vegetarian (smile)). I feel I know as much about Sirius' upbringing as I do Harry's. Author's Response: Wow. Thanks for the amazing comments. (and I'm not a vegetarian :D) I'm so flattered that you thought that I portrayed Sirius well, since that was (quite obviously) the purpose of my one-shot. :) Report Review
This is certainly a Sirius that I have never met before. Outstanding writing that makes so much sense of a smewhat confusing character. The Sirius you open the narrative with is haunting. Of course he wasn't always the Sirius we know fron Jo. It makes so much sense that he would have thought his family great before he knew any better. I wanted to slap the little brat when he met Remus on the train, but woah, what a change and what a concept - of all the people that could have pushed him from his pedestal, it's the same person as the one who comes through for him years late in PoA. I really like how you've allowed this character to grow, def. my favourite of your stories. 10/10. Author's Response: Aww, thanks Andy! *huggles* I never really thought about Remus and how ironic it is that he saves him twice. I'm glad you liked this one the best and liked my characterization of Sirius. He really is quite a deep and interesting character, but his very personality is what makes him so fun to write about. Thanks for the review! :D Report Review
Very very good. You really dig into Sirius' psyche and upbringing.
I also like the recounting style as a whole. Some authors (like you) can really do a good job telling a story without having narrative.
DracoAuthor's Response: Oooo . . . thank you. :D *huggles* This is actually the least favorite of my one-shots (my chaptered fic makes me cringe sometimes xD and this one is waaaay too littered with comma and flow errors . . . haha, but you probably don't care). Anywho, thanks so much for the compliments. I'm glad you liked how I wrote Sirius and wrote it without true narration. That's a trademark of mine that makes it awfully hard to write chaptered fics (*gasp* something must actually happen in realtime . . . lol). Thanks so much for this wonderful review. I truly appreciate it! Report Review
Wow. I'm well and truly speechless and that is a rare thing, trust me. That was amazing. Like with your other one-shot, I loved the way it had no dialogue because it just fitted so well.
The description of eyes was a brilliant way to begin it. Your portrayal of Sirius throughout was great, just as I see Sirius to be. There were many lines that just made me go wow! Although, To my family, I was already dead, but to myself, I had finally found life. that was amazing and I still maintained a foolish hope that one day, my family would see the light. They never did. I really felt sorry for Sirius here. It was just heartbreaking.
They were a watered-down black, just like I was. - That was my favourite line. So as you may have already guessed, I loved it :] 10/10 without a doubt and I've added it to my favourites, oh and I'm adding you to my favourite authors :DAuthor's Response: Yay! I love you! :D :D :D *huggles*
I'm in utter awe that I was able to render you speechless with this simple, little one-shot considering the utter amazingness of your own writing, and I'm so glad that you liked it. I happened to write this during one of my rare moments of inspiration, and some of those lines - like that watered-down black thing - still amaze me. Anyways, thanks a million times for this awesome review. You rock! :D Report Review
Nice. I like how you started off with the eyes and how you had Sirius uncertain on whether or not to break with his family. It's a different thought from the usual 'I-hate-my-family-and-always-have' attitude that a lot of Sirius stories have. and I never would have thought of Sirius' grey eyes as watered down black...an intersting thing I never would have thought of.Author's Response: Thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked it! :D Yeah, the whole eye comparison was like an epiphany for me and I always thought that Sirius wouldn't hate his family until he experienced the outside world and saw the muggles that would break his worldview. Thanks for reading and reviewing. :D *makes note to revise all those comma errors* ;) Report Review
wow! you captured the heart and soul of a tormented man in under 2000 words.
I'm impressed!Author's Response: Thanks! :D I have mixed feelings about this piece. On one hand, it's old and I just want to tear it up and never see it again, but on the otherhand, I do like parts of it. *thinks about rewriting it sometime* I'm glad you liked it. :D Report Review
ohhh. Sirius is my most favorite character out of any other Harry Potter characters...how sad. I never really though of him starting out kind of like malfoy did, but that would make sense since his family held similar values.Author's Response: Thanks for the review. :D I'm glad that you thought my portrayal of Sirius could make sense. I did it this way because if you're living in an environment where your family's values are held up as fact, you wouldn't have any reason to rebel against them. Report Review
Ooohhh, that was very nice. I like your protrayal of Sirius. I can picture him feeling like that, and his parents spoiling him until he was sorted into Gryffindor - very realistic.
Awesome job :)Author's Response: Thanks! *huggles Natalia* Coming from a wonderful author like you makes the comments all the more meaningful. I'm glad you thought that it was realistic and all. Thanks again. :D Report Review
Wonderful! The way you used his eyes to develop his character and his mother were excellent. Well written and engaging. I have to go look up "vaunted" though (which is a good thing for you). I couldn't find a single thing wrong, I loved every word and they way you mainpulated them. Author's Response: Aww, thanks! :D I'm glad you liked how I did the whole eyes thing and thought that this flowed. I really appreciate your comments. *huggles* Report Review
After you taking the time to check out my "Lost and Found", I've decided it's high time I check out your stories! This won't be a long review, since I'm very tired and am about to go to bed, but I hope it will be satisfactory, anyway.
What a wonderful, wonderful story! It's such a cool look into the mind of Sirius Black and his motives. I love how you put in that the girls were affected by his looks, because of the playboy Sirius stereotype we seem to have, and I love how you end. Your description is wonderful, and so is your writing. Very glad I decide to go to your stories-this was a very nice read, indeed, and I'm going to read more when I can! :-)Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked my outlook on Sirius and my description. :D The whole thing with the girls was like the only thing I really thought about in this because I tend to like to stay away from romance unless the story is romance and was a little apprehensive on how my incorporation of it was. Thanks once again for taking the time to review. *huggles* Report Review
This story's summary is amazing. You realise that, don't you? It pulled me in right away. It's absolutely brilliant, just like the rest of the story. Again, a dialogue-less chapter, and again, I enjoyed it a lot. You have a great way of wording things... 'brothers in all but blood', is just one example of the parts I loved! Really well done! 9/10 :)Author's Response: Aww, thanks! I guess you've discovered my penchant for dialogue-less one-shots; I'm glad you like them. :) Oh and the summary . . . Oh bugger . . . I hate writing summaries, so this was pretty much my easy way out (which I take a lot) in grabbing a part of the story and making it into a summary. I did pick a rather good part, didn't I? ^_^ Thanks again for these wonderful reviews! :) Report Review
o thats really good...u really are a wonderful writer, and u don't even use names. very well done. will go read another one of your one-shots now :) 10/10Author's Response: Ooo, thanks! The two that you have read are my favorite one-shots. :) Report Review
Wow. I'm joining the club, who liked this story. And I have to say you write in good and litterateur language. I'm big fan of translating storys in language who is my wogen. For my own fun and for making my english better. This story actually was a challenge to me. And I say it as a compliment. :) That's why - 10/10.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you took the time to read it and translate it and I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Keep practicing your english and I'll keep practicing my writing and my other languages, Chinese and Spanish. Thanks again! :) Report Review
I loved it. I like the grey eyes/black eyes parallel you have written. Sirius truly had dispicable parents. I'm glad you shared this story hun, hugz julsAuthor's Response: Thanks juls! I'm glad you liked it. :) Report Review
wonderful.an interesting point of view, and different at that. [: i liked the idea of sirius being a brat until he got to hogwarts. i think everyone just assumes he was always rebellious to his parents.. heh. i love the way this was written; you've certainly got a way with words. great job! Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I didn't really think Sirius was a rebel until Hogwarts; I mean, if all day, every day, you hear that purebloods are great and everything and you never actually meet a muggle born to judge the difference, how could you possibly not believe your parents? I thought that getting sorted into Gryffindor was the thing that woke him up. Thanks for the review. :D Report Review
I usually don't read stories like this. I'm a romance girl, and I usually stick to 15+. However, your summary really caught my eye, and I decided to give it a try. I'm glad I did!
I thoroughly enjoyed your depiction of Sirius's struggle. It was very life-like, and I would imagine that this is exactly how he was.
Congrats on a great story :)Author's Response: Thanks so much. :) I'm glad that the summary caught you in; I'm usually pretty bad at summaries. Personally, I wrote the story like I thought Sirius would have been like. I'm glad that you liked this interpretation. :) Report Review
I threw away the past thirteen years of my life in one year, and the transition drained me.
Don't you mean 10? Well, just ignore me ^_^
I like your writing style its enchanting, it really is!! =)Author's Response: Thanks. :) Hmm . . . I thought I changed that little error; I'll have to look into that later . . . Report Review
You captured Sirius Perfectly. great storyAuthor's Response: Thanks! I'm glad that I captured Sirius well. :D Report Review
oh wow. that was simply amazing. amazing . you are an unbelievably talented writer. this may be one of, if not the best, story i have read on this site. so major props to you! you took such a unique view on sirius' life that i had never thought about before until now. i don't want to make this too long so basically: wow. thanks for writing this story. Author's Response: Thanks so much! I really don't think I deserve all the lavish praise you're giving me, but thanks! I'm absolutely flattered that you should think it's so good. This review is my math final prep, so thank you! :) Report Review
*is absolutely gob-smacked* Wow. Honestly, I mean, WOW. This was absolutely brilliant, delta. I've never seen another fic like this, and I enjoyed reading it, every bit, every line. I really liked how you incorporated his gray - or is it grey? - eyes into the story, and how his parents wove tales about his uniqueness and his destiny, and whatnot. In a way, 'twas all kind of true, seeing as he never really was like the rest of the Blacks, and I liked how you kind of went into detail there. Double cool with knobs, I'd say. :) *le sigh* This was absolutely wonderful, and, without a doubt, it's going on my Favorites. May the Force be with you!
-- Emma Author's Response: Thanks Emma! Wow to you. Your review had me speechless for a while, and I'm still smiling from it. Wow. Thanks. You've absolutely made my less-than-pleasant day! I'm so glad that you liked it! :D Report Review
Another brilliant one-shot, beautifully written and full of understanding of the ways sirius feels. i like the way you have based the fic around the simple facial feature, Grey eyes. again very original.Author's Response: Thank you! I have an affinity for original stuff, and like to write about things that aren't really touched on or in a very different way. I'm glad that you liked the grey eyes; that was my favorite part too, and what convinced me to post this (lol). Thanks! Report Review
I really liked that you spoke about the grey eyes as a metaphor for kingly behavior and treatment. Very cool, I'm glad you brought this faset of Sirius to life. Author's Response: Thanks Abhorsen! Your story was absolutely amazing, and I'm glad you decided to stop by and review! :) I'm happy that the metaphor was effective. Thanks again. :) Report Review
Amazing. Simply stunning, really. Originally, I decided to return the lovely favor you payed me of reading and reviewing my story...and I'm so glad I payed your page a visit.
Your voice is just incredible. And you really did capture a lot of who Sirius was, like the 'watered- down black' line. At the same time, however, you added a new light- the fact that he wasn't always as confident as he seemed.
I really really loved it. Keep up with the good work you've got here, m'kay?
And, by the way...you need to gain more faith in your work. This was brilliant (althought I'm sure you've gathered my opinion on this little masterpiece already). But, in all seriousness, I'm glad you decided to post it. You never know what the audiences reaction will be until you try, no? Author's Response: Thanks so much! This means a lot coming from you, with your own wonderful writing. :) I'm really glad you like it, and I'll be sure to keep writing. Thanks again. :) Report Review
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