Reading Reviews for Among The Lost and Hidden
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Yui Graveyard Shift

26th June 2006:
I loved this chapter and i really cant wait to read the next one pls update really soon i wanna know what happens and i cant wait

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Review #2, by Grammar God Graveyard Shift

9th May 2006:
Oh, c'mon, I DO review nicely! Really, and I wouldn't be the one to talk, eh, Ms. Swearing with a Touch of an Obnoxious "HELLO!" and "DUH!"? Plus, I usually go around correcting YOUR mistakes more often than the writer's, "Grammar Goddessq"! Now, on with the show: I personally, did not find this confusing one bit. I knew perfectly well who Layla was, so that's no problem. I also could detect spelling errors and I shall point them out for your benefit: "where" is "were", only thing there. Um, grammar: I would watch your quotation format: “Eleven o’clock.” She muttered to herself. It should have been: “Eleven o’clock,” she muttered to herself. And I would also watch your commas, colons, hyphens, and semicolons. Comma example: "As she finished her hair she threw it up haphazardly in a messy bun and applied her make-up quickly as she glanced at her clock." It should have been: "As she finished her hair, she threw it up haphazardly in a messy bun and applied her make-up quickly as she glanced at her clock." Dunno if "haphazardly" is a word, though. (OMG, the great Grammar God is stumped! OMG OMG OMG!!!) Colons: "She finally found them; a raven and ginger haired boy." It should be: "She finally found them: a raven and ginger-haired boy." And also with this sentence, it seems like it's only one boy with both ginger and raven hair, so... Hyphens: "Layla was a very attractive twenty one year old that lived alone in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina." It should be: "Layla was a very attractive twenty-one-year-old that lived alone in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina." Same thing with "twenty four hour". It should be "twenty-four-hour". Semicolons: "Dead bodies were lying everywhere, she could scarcely tell the living from the dead." It should be "Dead bodies were lying everywhere; she could scarcely tell the living from the dead." There's more of these, but you've got the idea of the correct formatting. For thoughts and sounds, they shouldn't be enclosed with single quotation marks. Sounds can be left on their own usually, and thoughts are in normal italics with commas if neccessary. The rest is fine, although there ARE spelling errors in your Author's Notes, but even I have that in my Author's Notes, so I'm not counting them. I enjoyed this story a lot, it's intriguing and seems to be a refreshing break from the old, dull, cliche D/Hr fics that get recycled over and over again... Sorry for being a bit harsh, and for the long and boring review :). Anyways, continue writing!
Good luck,
Grammar God

Author's Response: Um, wow. Ha ha I really have no idea what to say! Let us start with would you just wanna be my beta? I mean its totally cool if you don't and I know you have a life too, but if you ever get bored and want something to do, my story's always up for another beta! (Like I said me and my bestest friend are only human too, and I never have heard from the other girl I sent it too...) Ah yes, I'm horrible with semicolons and colons-eh sometimes I just put them there cos I get so fed up with Word... :D Eh, I don't care sooo much about my authors notes-but it can get increasing annoying I know. Also I am pretty sure haphazardly is a word-Microsoft Word thought it was anyway-and if not, -claps- yay me, I just made up a new word. (Although I'm still pretty sure it is a word.) I'm really glad that you liked it because that's exactly what I was going for-something people haven't read before and I tried planning out the whole thing-and hope that some other stuff doesn't come out too cliched(sp? w/e i don't think I can do accents and stuff ha ha) and boring. Anyway THANKS BUNCHES! -hugs- Cheers.
-Rachel


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Review #3, by LadyMI Graveyard Shift

9th May 2006:
Great start.

Author's Response: Thanks, and thanks for waiting. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up soon-the ideas are starting to pile up so I must start to use them! :D Cheers.
-Rachel


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Review #4, by rainy raindrops Graveyard Shift

8th May 2006:
Looove it! You HAVE to update soon 'cause I'm very intrigued by the plot!

Author's Response: Thank you, I was trying really hard to come up with something that I had never head of before-and of course at one o'clock in the morning, when I should be alseep from a drug induced a coma(the chemo I swear to God up and down)! Ha ha, but with the chemo I get more into a reading fanfic mode than writting-but hopefully I will be stuck with a sudden inspiration this next week seeing as I have no chemo! Yay me! Thanks again for your lovely review! Cheers.
-Rachel


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Review #5, by Grammar Goddess Graveyard Shift

8th May 2006:
I'm suffering memory loss!

Okay, I didn't finish point #2. That quote should be a part of the flashback, right???

Author's Response: Ha ha I wasn't sure which review to review-so I just picked the last one. My apologise for not responding sooner but my computer decided not to tell me that I had reviews. -kicks laptop- Ha ha thanks for the review(s) though! I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, I think in my next chapters I'm going to try to make it a tad less confusing-try being the keyword. :D And about the-genre(?) I guess, I was confused on that too, there will be romance but I wasn't sure what the other should be so I asked my bestest friend and she thought that drama would suffice(sp?) I may however chance it if i can figure out what I want it to be! :D Ha ha. Thanks again! Cheers.
-Rachel


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Review #6, by Grammar Goddessq Graveyard Shift

8th May 2006:
For some weird reason my review did not get finished.

Well, after number 2, there is 3.

3. NO spelling and Grammar mistakes that I can find. Nice job!

This is well written, but I can't sense the style. Is it fluffy, drama, or angsty? Anyways, keep up the great work!

Rating: 8 out of 10

GG

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Review #7, by Grammar Goddess Graveyard Shift

8th May 2006:
This sounds cheesy, but I am here to offer you constructive critisicm! Hopefully my partner in crime will also review NICELY *glares at Grammar God who is a girl*

1. I just have to say your first part wasconfusing sort of, but it was just as mysterious. Pretty nice I guess, seeing that it got confusing cause we had no idea who Layla was.

2. 'The eighteen year old red head woke up in a nicely furnished apartment. ‘Now how did I get here? Wait a minute, what’s going on? I don’t remember any of this.’'

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